Plot Monkeys

Okay, so there’s an article in the current RWR this month about author promotion for the unpublished author. I could go on and on and ON about how I disagree with just about every idea in the article, but I decided that it would be better if I just took issue with one little thing, because it will be conference season soon. Registration for the RWA conference in Nashville just opened up a few weeks ago and I’m sure a lot of aspiring authors might be thinking about whether or not they are going, and if they are, if they are going to meet or pitch agents or editors.

Which leads me to the subject of business cards.

Do you need them?

The article says you need to have these (along with matching stationery, envelopes, fax coversheets, etc.) Unless you own a printing press…don’t do any of this. It’s expensive and unnecessary.

*I* have published 35 books and counting and I don’t have fancy stationery, envelopes or fax coversheets. I don’t need them. My agent has these things. That’s the cost of doing business. I have cute half sheets Carly got me from Design Her Gals with my website on them and I have a very simple, professional letterhead I designed in Microsoft Word that I print out on resume-style linen paper if I have to send correspondence, which I rarely do. Why would I need to spend money on anything more? You can make a very good, professional impression without spending a lot of money…particularly when you don’t have advances to finance these extras.

But back to business cards…they are very nice to have.

Essential? No. But nice to have? Sure.

Some editors and agents use business cards to keep track of who they met or who pitched them that they requested. Some agents and/or editors–if they ASK for a business card (more on this point later)–will get back to the office and hand the cards to their assistant so they can separate the genuine “you requested my manuscript at the recent RWA conference” from the posers and liars who say that even when they didn’t attend. (And yes, people do that.)

So if you’re going to the conference, get some business cards…BUT…and that’s a super-big BUT…do NOT spend money on these.

What I mean is, do NOT go to the trouble of paying a designer for some super design that is tied into your “BRANDING.” If you are unpublished, you don’t have a “brand” yet. It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with waiting to brand yourself until you’ve, I don’t know, sold a book. It is utterly ridiculous to me for an author to “brand” themselves before they have a book contract.

Let me tell you why… Read the rest of this entry »

Today I’m giving away a $25.00 on-line gift certificate to AMAZON.COM! Post a comment below for your chance to win, then check back on Sunday to see if your name was picked. Good Luck!

Was it just one week ago that I said I LOVED snow days? Said they brought me peace and comfort? Well, I have one thing to say to last week’s post: was I thinking???!!!???

A week ago Wednesday night, almost every school district around me began announcing early dismissal for Thursday. Not my district. On Thursday morning, my girls left for school, my oldest drove and it didn’t look too bad out. Mid-morning Thursday, the was coming down like crazy and I called school (which still hadn’t closed) and dismissed my daughter before the roads got worse. Thursday night, again every school district around me announced they’d be closed for Friday. Not my district. At 2:00 AM, I woke to the power going on and off, on and off until it finally settled on … you guessed it, OFF. Not really processing what this meant, we went back to sleep. At 6:00 AM, the battery in my alarm clock made it go off and I didn’t know what the noise was. I couldn’t see very well because it was still dark and we had no power. Some stumbling around and finally my husband did something to make the noise stop. That’s when we realized it was COLD. As in, no electricity means NO HEAT!

We looked outside and realized we’d gotten slammed by snow and it was still coming down. We assumed they’d canceled school because we had no phone service to get the call. Thank goodness my husband was willing to venture out and Dunkin Donuts was open. He brought us all home coffee and we met downstairs and lit a fire where the four of us sat. And stared – at the fire, at each other, and at the dogs. Oh. And we shivered. I called from my cell and reported the outage, but there was no information on how long we’d be without power and heat. The dogs, needing comfort too, jumped on the couch and slammed into my husband and his coffee, spilling it all over. No more warm coffee for him!

A little while later, we got a call that the carbon monoxide detector was going off in my parent’s house, who are in Florida but have a house a mile away from us in NY. My husband called the Fire Dept. and met them over there, where everything was fine. While he was gone, youngest daughter and I played scrabble in front of the fire. Oldest slept. Suddenly our carbon monoxide detector (which is connected to our alarm system) went off. I called hubby and he said he’d bring firemen to our house. A few minutes later, they were trudging through our place and we discovered our detectors were about 13 years old and needed to be replaced. Took awhile to get them to stop beeping though. No carbon monoxide levels were detected and they left. Hubby went out again later and brought home lunch, which we ate while we froze.

Finally I called Con Ed back and found out they couldn’t estimate a recovery time because they had 40,000 customers out in our county alone. So we dropped the dogs off at the kennel (they had heat) and called a hotel and headed over there. From that point on, things were more comfortable, at least until the following morning when my husband woke us at 6 AM to take him back to the house for his car so he could go to work. (Note: He didn’t HAVE to go to work, he couldn’t lay around anymore! Grrrr) The day started early, we had breakfast, checked out, went to knitting store (I’m making a BLANKET!) By the time we headed home to check the house, it was a little after Noon. Nothing had changed. We decided to go back to the hotel where many of my friends and neighbors were and to knit in the lobby or a corner somewhere it was warm.

We pulled out of my street and immediately noticed a MPH sign was flashing with the speed limit. We even discussed “Oh wow it’s flashing” and NOBODY realized that meant in the two seconds since we’d left the house, the POWER CAME BACK ON! :duh: We drive all the way to the hotel (not far but not close close either), find our friends to hear them tell us the POWER CAME BACK ON! And then it clicked. We should have known from the flashing MPH sign! :duh: :duh:

You’d think that’s the end, right?

WRONG!

We have two zones of heat and only one kicked back in. The downstairs still had no heat! Suffice it to say, we are now, finally back to normal. As for me? The next time I hear snow, I think the fear of GOD is going to kick in and I’ll go into hiding.

Lastly, I have to thank my oldest for being a good sport and allowing me to post these embarrassing photos here today!

Certainly tops a “Never Travel With Carly” story, doesn’t it?

It is always a pleasure to introduce new authors to our Plotmonkey readers, but it is always doubly exciting when the author has published her VERY FIRST BOOK! So it is with great enthusiasm that I introduce you all to ERICA RIDLEY! Erica’s first book, TOO WICKED TO KISS, is a gothic historical romance and Erica, well, Erica is about one of the coolest people I know. So without further ado…please give a warm, jungle welcome to Erica!

One of the challenging things about writing historical romance is finding the balance between not over-describing historical elements to readers well versed in the genre, while also not confusing or alienating readers new to the genre who don’t yet know a squab from a scabbard.

I recently experienced a more contemporary breakdown in communication just a few months ago. I was in England for the summer, and talking on the phone to my boyfriend. (He’s from Latin America, which means he’s even further removed from the US/UK cultural divide.)

His irreverent commentary and pet cultural rants are often hilarious in their own right, but one rainy day in London, he called me from Florida with the following announcement:

Boyfriend: I don’t like Starbucks right now because their coffee isn’t from Costa Rica.

Boyfriend: Well, gum was invented in Mexico. Did you know that?

So there you go. LOL. Those conversations make me want to return to my laptop and the familiar world of Gothic 1813…

How about you? Have you had any real-life conversations go off-kilter because of a cultural divide? And for those of you who read historical, paranormal, or fantasy: what’s your preference with regard to description? Do you prefer books with explanations and lots of detail, or are you more of a just-give-me-the-story sort? And most importantly: what’s best, tea or coffee?

Answer one or more of Erica’s questions…and you might just win a copy of her new historical, TOO WICKED TO KISS!

Get to know Erica at:

Author Website

Book Bonus Features

Facebook

Twitter

If you could only name one–one SINGLE book–that was your favorite of all time, what would it be? I’d really love to know!

Here’s mine:

A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY by John Irving.

This is my # 1 favorite book ever. I have read it countless times over the years and each time I am just as profoundly moved.

Funny, Irving used to be one of my favorite authors. I loved The World According to Garp and Owen Meany, of course, and Cider House Rules. But over the past several years, I haven’t read a single book of his that I’ve liked. It is such a disappointment! I felt the same way after I read the first 5 Kathleen Woodiwiss novels. Loved every single one of them…but never could stand another book she wrote after A Rose In Winter.

So, today, I’m just curious about you. Two things. First, that favorite book ever. And second, any authors you LOVE who you eventually gave up on?

Before I start today’s blog, can anyone believe it’s ALREADY March 1st? This year, for me, is already starting to fly by!

Okay, back to “My Guilty Pleasure”. For those of you who’ve been following this blog for some time know that I’m a fan of reality TV. Sad, but true. Some of my “must see” reality shows are: America’s Next Top Model, Top Chef, Sheer Genuis, American Idol, Project Runway, and of course, THE BACHELOR (to name just a few)!

And speaking of which, the season finale for The Bachelor is tonight. It’s down to the last two girls, and they honestly couldn’t be more different. There’s Vienna, the bad girl who nobody on the show seemed to like, and Tenley, the good girl who is funny and as sweet as can be. How Jake ended up with two polar opposites to choose from, I’ll never know. Honestly, I thought that Ally was the best girl for him, but seeing that she choose her job over risking it all for true love with Jake, he let her go. (I’m betting she’ll end up being the next bachelorette!).

Vienna, Vienna, Vienna. According to tabloids, this girl is a hot mess. She’s messed around on previous boyfriends, is a girl who has to be the center of attention, and generally seems to be in this for “the fame.” I do see the chemistry between Jake and Vienna, but not for the long term. She’s very young and immature, and I just don’t think she’s ready to settle down yet. And if he does pick her, I can’t see it lasting very long.

Then there’s Tenley. Like I said — very sweet and funny, but a part of me wonders if she’s still hung up on what her ex-husband did to her (he cheated on her). I’d like to think that she’s over it and ready to move on, but she sure does talk a lot about it on the show! She and Jake seem like a really cute couple, and out of the two, if I had to make a pick, I’d choose Tenley for him. But, there’s always the chance that she’s just not exciting enough for him.

So, tonight we find out. Of course the show is stating that this is one of the most “dramatic endings in Bachelor history”, though they seem to say that every season. Regardless, I’m DYING to see who he chooses — though if rumors are to believed, he’s gonna pick Vienna!

So, who do you think he’s going to pick? Do you have a favorite? And what about Ally? Do you think she would have been the best match over Tenley and Vienna?

We have a ton of winners today…we’ll do them in order…

First, the winner of Leslie’s Tuesday contest for a copy of KILLING TIME is:

#29, Gillian

Email Leslie (author @ lesliekelly . com) so she can get your book out!

The following people should email me: julie @ julieleto . com (no spaces)

The winner of my Wednesday giveaway of a full set of Mills & Boon copies of my Temptations and a few Blazes are:

#22, ardie
#67, Michele R

The Saturday winners of a set of books from guest-blogger Jeri Smith-Ready are:

#2, Paula R
#17, Liz E

And THE WINNER of Friday’s $20 AMAZON GIFT CARD is:

#72, Lady_Graeye

Man, wasn’t the jungle the BEST place to hang out last week!

And now to make sure that this week starts out right, too…here’s the funny!
——————–
Alternate (and more honest) word definitions:

ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they die.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

and MY personal favorite:
WRINKLES
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Have a great week!

Yeah! Saturday Guest Bloggers are BACK! Please give a very warm (it has to be warm somewhere, right?) jungle welcome to Jeri Smith-Ready, who is not only graciously spending her Saturday with us, but is also giving away an AWESOME set of books (winner to be announced tomorrow, so don’t forget to check back!) She has a spectucularly fresh new series out…and I can’t wait to hear more about it! Welcome, Jeri!

Tease Me, Taunt Me, Make Me Want You!

Happy Saturday, everyone! I’m Jeri Smith-Ready, author of the WVMP RADIO urban fantasy series (the vampire DJ books) and in a little over two months, the SHADE series for teens.

Thanks so much to Julie and all the Plotmonkeys for having me on your fabulous blog today. I was leery at first, due to my deep-seated fear of monkeys (almost as bad as my clown phobia), but as long as I stay calm and don’t make direct eye contact, we should all be okay.

I’m here to talk about two subjects that might seem unrelated: 1) rewrites, and 2) teaser chapters (those little novel excerpts tucked into the back of books). By showing how one of my opening scenes changed from teaser version to its final state, I hope to shed light on the large and small alterations that go into a rewrite.

As a reader, I can’t resist a teaser chapter. I’ve found many new authors in these tasty samples, or I’ve hungered for the next installment of the story I just finished (and been royally frustrated if it’s not available yet).

As an author, I was honored to have the first chapter of SHADE included in a Christopher Pike compendium, Thirst 2, which hit #1 on the New York Times children’s paperback list (zoinks!). For the mass market release of WVMP Book One, Wicked Game, my publisher included the first scene of its sequel, Bad to the Bone, which came out in trade paperback the following month.

In both cases, the teaser scenes were already in their final form. A couple of words changed here and there for the final version, but nothing major.

Then came Book Three, Bring on the Night. An August 2010 release, its first scene is excerpted in the mass market version of Bad to the Bone (which came out last Tuesday). Because of a deadline shift, I was asked to submit the opening teaser scene of Bring on the Night before I had rewritten the book.

Heh. Rewrites. Don’t get me started. Okay, get me started.

I once heard of a writer who did second drafts by deleting the entire first draft and starting from scratch. I’m not quite that bad, but my books tend to undergo sweeping overhauls after I get feedback from my editor and critique partners. The changes come from my own ideas, but they’re sparked by others’ observations, and also by the extended break from the novel my brain has received since I turned it in (since I turned the novel in, not my brain, although sometimes it feels that way).

In a rewrite, I kill characters who survived in the first draft, and spare those who once died. I chop out entire subplots and characters. In the original draft of Bad to the Bone, the stray dog that Ciara found was a regular mutt who happened to be “housing” a half-pookha semi-shapeshifter named Gwendolyn. Everyone hated Gwen, including me, so she disappeared, and Dexter became a vampire dog (which made more sense, anyway, as much as vampires can ever make sense).

My rewrite process is like an episode of American Chopper, that reality show where a group of guys builds amazing custom motorcycles while trying not to kill each other. At the bleakest point in a rewrite, my plot lies in useless pieces on the floor, with no resemblance to an actual book, and my inner Big Paul is screaming bleeped-out words at my inner Mikey, who just wants a day off to go surfing.

So there I was, trying to mold the first scene of a raw product (the unrevised Bring on the Night) into a teaser that would make readers salivate. My critique partner helped me polish the scene, and I turned it in. Soon it became immortalized in the back of Bad to the Bone’s mini-me version.

Then came rewrites, and oh, how that first scene changed. Let me tell you how, starting with:

Chapter One – Welcome to Paradise

Yep, even this part is obsolete. What was once Chapter One is now Chapter Two, though the title is the same (each chapter is named after a popular song). I decided to frame the past-tense novel with present-tense prologue/epilogue-style chapters that would prepare the reader for this unusually intense story, then carry them out again at the end.

I now present, in its international online debut, the final version of Bring on the Night’s first chapter, in its entirety, without commercial interruption:

Chapter One – Hey Hey My My (Out of the Blue)

I’m okay now.

Just so you know.

I mean, just so I know.

Not that I wonder.

(deep breath)

That’s it.

*ducks as WVMP series fans throw rotten tomatoes with rocks hidden inside*

So sometimes the teaser scene isn’t even the book’s ultimate opener. Authors often reshuffle the chronology of their novels’ beginnings, maybe to heighten tension or to ground the reader in the world, or for many other reasons.

Moving on to the first line of the old Chapter One/new Chapter Two:

The vampire could smell me.

Dramatic, right? But on page two, the heroine Ciara slathers leftover pizza on herself to repel a vampire (white pizza = maximum garlic), so that opening sentence’s meaning becomes fuzzy. Does it refer to that first moment pre-pizza wipe, or later in the scene? A little mystery is good, but do I really want to confuse readers on page one?

So the opening line became:

I could smell my own fear, bitter and tangy as an overripe orange.

Now the focus is solely on Ciara and her state of mind. We don’t know what she’s afraid of for several paragraphs. Greater tension and less confusion make for a more solid opening.

On page two, my correction solved two separate problems:

Original: At the end of the alley I passed an overstuffed Dumpster, where the odors of unneutered-cat piss and discarded pizza boxes battled for supremacy.

As one of my beta readers put it, “That sounds like a pretty one-sided battle.”

But that wasn’t the only reason for changing the sentence. In the following paragraph, Ciara gets the idea for the pizza vampire repellent.

Waaaaaaait a minute: why would she assume there was a leftover piece in that box? Where I come from, we finish every bite of pizza (unless it’s accidentally been left out overnight at room temperature, and even then I have to argue to save us from food poisoning, because my family thinks pizza contains a magical intrinsic antibacterial agent).

Revision: At the end of the alley I passed an overstuffed Dumpster, where the odor of cat piss snagged my attention. I wrinkled my nose and glanced at the bin. The lid was clamped on a discarded pizza box, pinching it open to reveal a leftover slice inside.

Ah, so she sees the leftover pizza slice before drawing the connection.

This is a perfect example of the details we insert or alter when revising a manuscript, details that clarify what the character is thinking and why. Often an author will make a leap of logic and forget to bring the reader along. We need to remember that cause comes before effect. Readers can read our books, but they can’t read our minds.

Sometimes small revisions come from big changes. Near the end of the teaser scene, Ciara’s training partner in the paranormal paramilitary agency the Control, Tina, is being scolded by their instructor for her excessive use of force.

Original: “…Losing a bit of blood is better than losing one’s life.” As Tina began to voice her disapproval, Kaplan cut her off. “Don’t like it? Go join the Fortress.”

That shut Tina up. The Fortress is a renegade band of zealots who not only slay vampires, but

Boooooop! Boooooop! Incoming infodump!

The second paragraph here not only verged on boring, but became superfluous. The Fortress was Ciara’s archenemy in Bad to the Bone, and in early drafts of Bring on the Night, I considered bringing the Fortress back, or at least using it as a red herring to distract readers from the real villain. But the book ended up with more antagonists than it needed. Since I like each novel to stand alone, the oldest enemy was the one to be ditched. I proceeded to delete all unnecessary references to the Fortress.

We authors sweat and swear over our opening scenes. They have to grab the reader by the eyeballs, so hard that they stand there in the bookstore aisle, riveted to the page, their feet falling asleep and their kids running rampant and unsupervised, until finally the bookseller shakes their shoulder them and says, “Hey, you going to buy that or what?”

But when we know these scenes might be turned into early ads for the next book, the pressure is even greater to make them shine. And maybe even make sense!

—-

Readers, have you ever sought out a novel because of a teaser chapter you read in another book? Ever noticed that the teaser chapters don’t always match the final version? Within a series, do you enjoy getting a glimpse of the next installment, or is it more of a tease than you can bear?

Authors, have you ever written a teaser chapter before the book was rewritten (or for that matter, written)? More fundamentally, how massive are your rewrites? Do you change the plot and characters or just do a polish? Do you get all the story elements right the first time, or is the first draft just a starting point, a faint shadow of what the book will eventually become?

I’m giving away two signed sets of the first two WVMP books, Wicked Game and Bad to the Bone (with bonus teaser chapters, of course). Thanks again for having me! I’m much less scared of monkeys now. Plotmonkeys, at least.

Oh, no! It’s Julie’s day…you probably think she’s going to give away more books!

Well, she is…but this time, you get to pick which one. Leave a comment and you just might win a $20 gift card to Amazon.

Just answer the following question…if you had to pick your absolute favorite TYPE of romance, what would it be? Friends to lovers? Strangers? Woman in jeopardy? Reunion?

Winner of today’s prize announced Sunday (as well as the two Wednesday winners)…don’t forget to check back!

There’s something soothing to me about knowing there’s a snow day :snow:. A no school day. I love waking up and finding out the kids have no school and I can just go back to sleep. If I hear there’s a snow storm coming, I get excited about the possibility of being home with my family with nothing to do but watch TV, look out at the snow, and hang with the dogs, kids and hubby. I often think I’m supposed to hate the snow – after all – it’s cold and wet – but in truth, I hate rain. That’s cold and wet. Rain doesn’t give you a day off with your family. Snow lets you know you’re going to be in the house, safe, warm and snuggled in your pajamas. But if the weather people say snow and suddenly it becomes a half hearted effort, and the kids have to trudge out to school, and you’re driving in slush, then UGH. Suddenly that’s not my peaceful day at all!

Yesterday I had a meeting at the high school. I left the house and it was cold and raining. I got out of the car and it was hailing. Or was it sleet? I don’t know. I was pelted by hard, cold rock-like things on my way into the building. That’s no fun at all.

So today we’re expecting a huge snowstorm – today into tomorrow. By the time you read this I will know whether I have my :snow: day I love, or the UGH day I don’t. Same for Friday. I hope it’s a snow day. I can use a soothing, peaceful day!

PS – I tried to post pictures but I am having WordPress problems and it wouldn’t accept them.