Plot Monkeys

I need to say up front, picking a winner was very thrilling because you all said such great things about my characters. I admit I was surprised at how many people related to Micki Jordan best of the sisters because she wasn’t the sister I could best relate to. That would be Sophie!

So without further ado, randomly picked,
The winner of an ARC of HOT PROPERTY is ……

Michele # 41
(and no I don’t want your right arm, LOL!)

CONGRATULATIONS! Email me at: carlyphillips @ mac.com (without the spaces) with your mailing address ASAP! After three days, I will choose another winner.

&&&&

I never heard from Jane Porter’s winner, so trying again with someone new: #2 Heather Harper! Please email me at the above address too so I can get your info. to Jane.

WINNER OF JANELLE’S GOAL, CONFLICT AND MOTIVATION:

Patty L. (Comment #15)

Congratulations, Patty! Email me at janelledenison @ sbcglobal.net with your mailing address and I’ll get that book out in the mail to you!

And now for the funny! I thought long and hard about whether or not to post this. So I am going to post a disclaimer. I love CRUDE jokes and movies.
My whole family rolled on the floor after reading this. If you find it offensive, my apologies ahead of time.If you don’t like crude, skip today’s funny. That said … ENJOY! (and don’t be fooled by the bland beginning to the story … I RECEIVED THIS ON VALENTINE’S DAY
******
A Woman’s Perfect Day

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh-in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed-freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants;open presents- expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 22lbs
1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer
4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk-says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers
10:00 Hot shower- alone
10:50 Carried to bed. freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

A Man’s Perfect Day

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section

7:00 Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast-all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several bloody marys en route to the airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Peringon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine (4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)

2:30 Fly to Bahamas

3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)-on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle Macpherson
6:45 Shit, shower and shave

7:00 Watch news-Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner-lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 Night-cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep