Archive for February, 2008

Let’s Talk Classic Romance!

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
Leslie Icon

We have often talked about what we’re reading now here at Plotmonkeys. But I wanted to talk today about what we were reading then. As in, at the very beginning of our romance reading lives. I’d really like to know the name of “the book” or books that started you down the path of romance reading heaven. And maybe to talk about what qualities in those books made you a romance reading fan for life.

I’ll start.

I began reading romance novels at the age of 12. Like a lot of readers, I started with Kathleen Woodiwiss’s The Flame And The Flower.

One of my sisters had brought it home, I found it, was told I couldn’t read it, so I promptly hid in the closet with a flashlight. All would have been fine if I hadn’t been stupid enough to ask my sister what a “manhood” was.

My love affair with romance novels continued throughout my teen years. I watched for every Woodiwiss, and will never forget the thrill of seeing a TV commercial for her third book, Shanna. I kid you not, I just sat there goggle-eyed, never having seen (or never remembering) a commercial for a book, and that it was one of “those” books that my mother was forever telling me I should quit reading, well, I felt validated!

I am probably the exception to the Woodiwiss rule in that I really didn’t like Shanna that much. She was such a witch. I had really loved The Wolf And The Dove–Aislinn was such a strong heroine, but strong without descending into shrewishness, like Shanna did.

Then came Ashes In The Wind (my editor Brenda Chin’s favorite of the Woodiwiss books) and I was in love again. Here was a feisty heroine who was every bit as strong as the hero, a rich backdrop, a noble but wounded hero and an entire cast I truly cared about.

Then came A Rose In Winter which took my breath away–the ultimate beauty and the beast story. I still love Christopher Seton and it is that book which has held up the best for me. I can reread Rose In Winter and still get that “ahh!” feeling that I had the first time I read it, (even though I mentally count the number of doors called “portals” and the number of eyes and breasts called “orbs.”)

I’ll stop there with Woodiwiss. I never enjoyed another of her books. Can’t say why, I honestly don’t know. But her first five were simply beyond compare for me at that time.

There was another popular author during that period of early Avon supremacy, who didn’t achieve Woodiwiss’s stature or success, but whose books I came to love even more. Laurie McBain’s books absolutely floored me.
I discovered her with Devil’s Desire, but she didn’t really come into her own until her second book, Moonstruck Madness (another of Brenda’s faves! She was a real tomboy and loved seeing the heroine dressing up as a boy, kicking butt and taking names!)

For me, I loved McBain because she always wrung every emotion she could possibly get out of me until I was utterly dry. I would find myself swept away by the romance, admiring the strong heroines, loving the to-die-for heroes, and yet, at some point, sobbing my face off because she’d gotten me into such an emotional state and had then yanked the rug out by killing off some character I’d fallen madly in love with.

In Tears Of Gold, it was the heroine, Mara’s, rascally, gold-hungry brother Brendan.

In Wild Bells To The Wild Sky (which I just reread about a month ago!) it was the heroine’s parents, whose romance takes up the first quarter of the book. And in this book, the hero’s name is (wait for it… ) Valentine Whitelaw. Could you just die? He was a privateer, with jet black hair and an earring, and oh, my God, he was divine!

In When The Splendor Falls…well, just about everybody dies (it was a Civil War book) but I especially mourned the heroine’s brother-in-law, who came home from the war to find his beautiful young wife dead, and himself the parent of an infant. And then he dies too! Any other author would have him finding another HEA or dedicating his life to being a good father, or whatever, but McBain didn’t take the easy way out, and even while I was cursing her for it, I knew it couldn’t have happened any other way.

Books just don’t grab me like that anymore. Those early romances where the tragedy and the joy were completely intertwined, where the writing was rich and the characters so incredibly vivid literally swept me away. Made me ignore homework, housework, all the stuff I was supposed to be doing, stay up until four a.m., just keep turning those pages. That very rarely happens to me with any book now. And yet, when I reread Wild Bells To The Wild Sky, that is exactly what happened all over again.

Can I confess: I was a dumpster diver during that period. I worked at a shoe store in a mall when I was 16, and right next door was a Walden Books. Our dumpster was next to theirs in the back of the building. And oh, my God, when I went out there one day and saw it entirely FULL of books with the covers torn off, I wanted to scream at the sky, “Oh, the humanity!”

I, uh, shoved aside the empty pizza boxes, the slimy Hardee’s cups, the half-eaten Dairy Queen sundaes, and…shopped. Came home with a trunkload of books (knowing nothing, at that point, about covers being returned for credit and those books reported as destroyed.) Eventually, since they had no covers, I’m quite sure I did toss them. But I read every single one first. The author might not have gotten the royalties, but a whole bunch of them gained a new voracious reader.

Believe it or not, this was how I discovered another of my early faves: Cynthia Wright. She wrote really good colonial romances. One of my faves was a Scarlet Pimpernel homage Surrender The Stars (much like Jude Devereux’s much later title, The Raider). The hero is in disguise as a dandy/fop and is trying to win the heroine that way, while secretly seducing her as his real-life persona. My favorite Wright was called You And No Other, and it was a fabulous book set in the French court of Francois II. (I think!) Couldn’t find either of those covers, unfortunately.

There are a few other titles that stand out for me.

The House of Scorpio by Pat Wallace. I LOVED this book. It was set in a world that was divided by astrological signs. Sun people lived in the desert and water people lived in rainy climates. There were six complete romances in the book, about six sisters separated at birth. Each one had a very Victoria Holt “gothic” feel, despite the astrological stuff. I have been watching for that book for years…whenever it shows up online, it’s like fifty bucks or something. Maybe someday I’ll go ahead and bite the bullet for it, we’ll see.

Angel In Scarlet by Jennifer Wilde. I wasn’t a huge Wilde fan, especially with books like Love’s Tender Fury, where the heroine ended up with the JERK hero instead of the wonderful secondary love interest, who the hero kills in a duel. But Angel In Scarlet was a lot of fun. Wilde’s heroines were tarts and indentured servants. They had affairs (that shocked me when I first read one–the heroine sleeping with someone other than the hero? Yow!) And this one, in particular, had the heroine marrying someone other than the hero, and they’re both completely ostracized from society for it. (She’s an actress, he’s a Lord.) He throws a ball to introduce his new bride and NOBODY comes. But he doesn’t care. He takes her into his arms and dances her around the ballroom for the entire night to their own private orchestra. It was a lovely scene, and again, I wish he had been the hero…but I didn’t hate the actual final hero in this one as much as I did with Love’s Tender Fury.

Okay, I’ve gone on and on here. I tend to get carried away when reminiscing about this stuff. I could talk about Devreaux’s Velvet series or Lindsay’s Mallory’s (her book Man Of My Dreams was my favorite, where the Duke was disguised as the stable boy… ) or Garwood or Judith McNaught…well, you get the point.

But now I want to hear from you! Where’d you get your start? What books do you really remember? Any you re-read to this day…and how have they held up?

And here’s a toast to the late Kathleen Woodiwiss, who started it all. I genuinely thank the woman to introducing me to what has been one of my greatest pleasures, personally and professionally: romance fiction.

Carly’s Day Off

Monday, February 18th, 2008
Janelle Icon

Well, Carly has deserted us for the warm climate of Aruba for her yearly vacation with her family. Lucky her! She asked that we fill in for her today, and because I couldn’t come up with anything exciting to blog about, I thought I’d present to all of you a question, of which you need to figure out the answer. You’ve might or might not have seen this before, but I thought it would be a fun “filler” for the day. So, here we go . . .

This “thing” has the range of 8 inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes. It’s usually found hung, dangling, ready for instant action. It boasts a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again, many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, white sticky substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and from some of its long glistening shaft.

After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready yet for another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.

WHAT AM I? (Once you have your answer, scroll down to see if you guessed right!)

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It’s a TOOTHBRUSH!

Now be honest . . . what were you REALLY thinking?

Happy Monday everyone! I hope this gave you a chuckle for the day.

Friday Winner & Sunday Funny!

Sunday, February 17th, 2008
Julie Icon

#77, JSL! Send me an email: julie at julieleto.com with your snail mail address and I’ll get the prize out to you forthwith!

And here’s the funny…which might have just been funny to me because my mother sent it!

An Italian Mother

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner… who lives with a female roommate Maria…

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Momma,

I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take it. But the fact remains that it has been
missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Momma which read:

Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Momma

Lesson: Never lie to your Momma… especially, if she’s Italian

Saturday Guest Blogger, Stacia Kane/December Quinn, part two!

Saturday, February 16th, 2008
Julie Icon

Last month, Stacia Kane, (aka December Quinn) came to Plotmonkeys to talk about how new authors should evaluate publishers. Because this is no easy task, she split her workshop into two parts. Last month was about print publishers, but this month, she’s talking about epublishers. As a successfully published ebook author, she knows what she’s talking about, people…so listen up!

And thank you, Stacia, for coming back to enlighten us yet again!
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Last month we looked at print publisher websites and learned a bit (hopefully) about what to look for. But epubs are different, so we’re going to look at an epub site today and see what we see.

For the legitimate epub site, I’ve chosen Liquid Silver Books. I chose them because I’m not published with them (so this doesn’t look like a plug—but for the record, my epublisher is Ellora’s Cave and am very happy there) and because I know for a fact they’re legit and have a stellar reputation. I have a lot of friends published at LSB.

Epubs almost always have a submissions link on the first page. (See it? Bottom left.) However, notice it’s still not a huge link right under their logo & slogan. It looks professional; they’re not trying to grab anything or make you submit before you’ve looked at the site. What matters most still matters here: this site is clearly aimed at selling books to the public. See, the “Cart” is right at the top, as is the list of genres.

What else do we notice?
(more…

Jungle Madness and the Cupid Cabbie

Friday, February 15th, 2008
Julie Icon

Have you read the article about the matchmaking cabbie who calls himself the Cupid Cabbie?

I think the whole idea is adorable…but I also think it’s been “done.” By me! And Vicki Lewis Thompson and Kate Hoffman!

So in honor of this news story, I’m offering the following:

I found some of my promotional items from when I wrote the novella, “Chasing Charlie” in the A FARE TO REMEMBER collection. There are two Taxi Cab mugs, a Taxi Driver’s Cookbook and of course, a copy of the book! I’ve also thrown a few more books into the box, including a copy of THE DOMINO EFFECT because my heroine is involved in a cab accident (that might have been an attempted assassination) and a copy of Julie Kistler’s Blaze, SCANDAL, because I was sent five copies by accident and I’m sharing the love.

You know the drill…post a comment, US residents, blah, blah, blah… And don’t forget to come back Sunday to find out if you won! We don’t contact winners personally…you have to come back to the blog. (We’re evil that way.)

Oh! And as promised…here is an update of my kitchen renovation.

Before:

Day 10. Amazing progress, yes? They’re not done…but we’re VERY close.

(The ketchup bottle in the foreground just makes the picture, don’t you think?)

My Funny Valentine

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
Janelle Icon

Unfortunately, my Valentine is up in Oregon, all by himself - - and I’m here in California. Don and I don’t usually do anything big for Valentine’s day, because I honestly don’t need flowers, candy, an expensive dinner, or even a card, to know that he loves me. But I do have to say that this year will be hard because while I don’t need anything materialistic to celebrate Valentines Day, I do miss the fact that Don isn’t here with me physically (so does the dog, who has been moping horribly since he left last week! ). He’s only been gone a week, and I’m already counting down the days until he’ll come home to visit.

Normally we reserve jokes and “funnies” for our Sunday posts, but I thought it would be fun to share some cute and inspiring Valentine stories today. Something to hopefully make you laugh and smile.

Pastoral Passion
The lingerie store where my aunt works was crowded with shoppers selecting Valentine’s Day gifts for their wives. A young businessman came to the register with a lacy black negligee. My aunt noticed that the next customer, an elderly farmer, was holding a long flannel nightgown and kept glancing at the younger man’s sexier choice. When it was his turn, the farmer placed the nightgown on the counter. “Would you have anything in black flannel?” He asked.

Mower Than a Greeting Card
My friend Mark and I work in a lawn-mower-parts warehouse. Somehow Mark got the idea that his wife did not want a card on Valentine’s Day, but when he spoke to her on the phone he discovered she was expecting one. Not having time to buy a card on his way home, Mark was in a quandary. Then he looked at the lawn-mower trade magazines scattered around the office — and got an idea. Using scissors and glue, he created a card with pictures of mowers, next to which he wrote: “I lawn for you mower and mower each day.” Mark’s wife loved it. The card immediately graced their refrigerator door.

Irresistable Irony
About a year had passed since my amicable divorce, and I decided it was time to start dating again. Unsure how to begin, I thought I’d scan the personals column of my local newspaper. I came across three men who seemed like they’d be promising candidates. A couple of days later, I was checking my answering machine and discovered a message from my ex-husband. “I was over visiting the kids yesterday,” he said. “While I was there I happened to notice you had circled some ads in the paper. Don’t bother calling the guy in the second column. I can tell you right now it won’t work out. That guy is me.”

Making the Grade
My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: “BE MINE.” The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: “Thank you, but it’s still BE MINE-US.”

Read All About It
Every Valentine’s Day our campus newspaper has a section for student messages. Last year my roommate surprised his girlfriend with roses and dinner at a fancy restaurant. When they returned from their date, she leafed through the paper to see if he had written a note to her. Near the bottom of one page she found: “Bonnie — What are you looking here for? Aren’t dinner and flowers enough? Love, Scott.”

Of course, Valentine’s Day just wouldn’t be the same without a hunk!

So, what are your plans for today? And does anybody have any funny or cute stories to add to the ones above?

My New Form of Exercise

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
Julie Icon

Ladies and gentlemen, please meet the new exercise craze in my house:

My daughter’s birthday was back in January, but due to the fact that I’m horribly disorganized and Nintendo is keeping demand alive by not making enough game systems, our Wii just arrived a few days ago. I’ll have you know that this technologically challenged woman put the thing together all by my lonesome and has, officially, been named Best Mom in the World…yet again.

I justified this purchase based on several factors.

1. Our first game system, a Playstation 2, was bought while my child was but a babe and was more for her father than for her. She never played it until two years ago when we got her the Cars game. She played for a week, then never again. He, by the way, never plays it. It’s a fabulous dust collector (as if my house needs one more of those.)

2. Two Christmases ago, we bought the XBox 360…once again with little forethought and if anyone has an XBox 360, you know that most of the games for this system are aimed at teenage boys, not adolescent girls. She plays ONE game (Star Wars Legos) which is available on other systems. An unwise purchase, but while we got our money’s worth, it was not the best choice for my child.

3. The Wii is cool.

Because I wasn’t willing to camp out in front of Target every Tuesday morning in December to try and win the chance to spend a few hundred bucks on one of the six systems they’d receive from their evil supplier every week before Christmas, I had a chance to see this game in action before I shelled out my own hard-earned cash. My brother has one. Not his kids–he has four (kids, not Wiis)–my brother owns the Wii. He’s a video game junkie and actually looks pretty cool playing Guitar Hero, if I do say so myself. The system impressed me for the sheer physicality of it. I know some games do not require movement, but the ones I’ve seen do.

And I need SOME exercise, right?

I only bought one game–Mario & Sonic at the Olympics. Movement city, people. I just ran a relay race and boy are my arms tired. That’s not a joke waiting for a rim-shot, ladies…my arms are tired!

So this game will make me get a little blood pumping in my life, which is a good thing, yes?

I used to love video games…keeping in mind that I was a kid who owned the very first Atari version of Pong. During my high school years, I distinctly remember going to a place that was a grown-up kid version of Chuck E. Cheese–I think it was called Showtime or Showplace or something? Anyone remember? It was a chain. Anyway, we’d spend entire Friday nights feeding tokens into Frogger and Pac Man and my favorite, Asteroids, eating bad pizza and having a blast.

Before that, it was pinball. I love pinball. I’m still fairly good at pinball. Not as good as I used to be, but pretty good once I’ve got my mojo going.

I rock at Air Hockey.

We talked about board games recently and I tended toward the games that require knowledge. For video games, it’s all about the skill, memory and I believe, physical memory–being able to hit that button when a certain color flashes without having to even register that the color flashed. I have half-way decent hand-eye coordination…or at least, I did…so I always loved those games.

I think the Wii will get much use.

So what video games do you like? Old school or new school? Have you tried the Wii? BTW, if you’ve never played Star Wars Legos…you really should. If for no other reason than to see how Princess Leia puts her hand on her hip when she’s impatient or the way the Gomorrean guards rock out with their battle-axes. Just look at Han Solo giving me a wink. Me thinks the designers had a lot of fun creating that game.

BTW, for all of you who think you’re too old for the Wii, read this.

As for the kitchen…we’re still on schedule. I’ll have some great pictures to post on Friday. Right now everything is covered in Visqueen in preparation for the ceiling being painted sometime today!

Cute Boys

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
Leslie Icon

I read a headline a few weeks ago about a father who was mortified that his teenage daughter had seen that he had a picture of Britney Spears on his cell phone. (Personally, if I was a teenage girl and my father had a picture of Britney Spears on his cell phone, I’d be more mortified about his taste than anything else. But I digress.)

That headline started me thinking, and made me realize something: I like cute boys…does that mean I’m a dirty old lady?

Now, before the internet explodes with the news, let me clarify: I like cute young stars…not young men on the street. Just as Bruce has his little Selma Hayek/Scarlett Johanssen list, I had my own Hugh Jackman/David Duchovny/George Clooney one.

But lately, I realized my “list” guys are getting too old for me. (hee hee)

While I should, given my age, be drooling over guys like Mel Gibson (been there, done that, he lost me when he went crazy) or Harrison Ford (he was such a jerk to his wife) or good old George (eh, not doing it for me anymore) in truth, I prefer cuties like the two guys who star on the CW’s show SUPERNATURAL,

Jared Padalecki

And especially Jensen Ackles.

(Middle daughter got the season 2 DVD for Christmas and we just finished racing through it. That Dean–what a doll. And what fabulous dialogue!)

Let’s face it, I was a Tiger Beat teen. And once you’ve had Robbie Benson, Leif Garret and Sean Cassidy on your walls…well, you never lose your eye for young heartthrobs.

So here’s a little boy-toy eye candy for us all. Or, at least for those of us who are 1965’ers or older. You youngsters can legitimately drool all you want. The rest of us will merely amuse ourselves…Feel free to contribute to the list. Who’s your favorite boy-toy eye candy?

Josh Duhamel…(loved him as Leo in AMC, and in Vegas he’s just dreamy):

Jake Gyllenhal (oh, those eyes… )

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (have you seen The Tudors? He makes men in tights look HOT.)

Josh Harnett…more cute than hot.

Tobey Maguire…another one more cute than hot. But I love him as super-geek turned superhero Spiderman.

PS: I had actually started writing this blog several weeks ago, but never finished it. I had downloaded some of the pics, including this one…it makes me very sad to post it:

Heath Ledger

Oops I did it again!

Monday, February 11th, 2008
Carly Icon

When I switched with Leslie and took Mondays, I thought she was crazy for not being able to get a blog done on the weekend or to remember that she needed to get one posted by Sunday night! It’s harder than I thought!

Anyway, a little late, but here I am. Bailey is 11 months old today! We’ve had her for 9 months. Just when I thought we’d never train her … yesterday she went to the door three times and asked to be let out!!! I know there’s a lot of work to be done. And I’m not celebrating her being completely housebroken just yet. And with this 40 MPH wind and freezing almost zero degree temps, I don’t kid myself that today will be as good as yesterday. But we’ve made a huge start!

Here’s the most recent picture of the birthday girl!

Who’d have thought at almost a year we’re STILL working on housebreaking? But she’s worth every bit of aggravation. Remind me of that today, in the wind and freezing temps!

Tomorrow night I have tickets to the Westminster Dog Show!
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You can also see me blogging today at:
The Goddess Blogs:

They’ve invited me back and said I’m one of their most popular guest bloggers!
Who knew?
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A Whole Lotta Winners!

Sunday, February 10th, 2008
Leslie Icon

The winner of the overall foot pampering prize for this week is…

DEBB! Message # 34 !!

Congratulations!

Please send me an email at author@lesliekelly.com with your snail mail addy and let me know which of my backlist books you’d like.

Now, the winners of the 20 coupons are:

Joanne, Message #37
Ardie, Message # 41
Jen Hall, Message # 18
Dina, Message # 84
Shelley, Message # 75
Susie, Message # 68
Kriss, Message # 62
Ev, Message # 3
Philomena D, Message # 77
Nellymom, Message # 51
Erin, Message # 53
Michele L, Message # 83
Cindy Hoppes, Message # 46
JSL, Message # 31
Jess, Message # 2
Beth R, Message # 12
Jane, Message # 61
Stacy S, Message # 44
Pat Cochran, Message # 66
Alice in Texas, Message # 49

Write to me at author@lesliekelly.com so I can mail them out to you (along with Plotmonkeys bookmarks and an autographed bookplate!)

Coupon winners: please do me a big favor and put your address in an easy format for me to cut & paste.

IE:

Name
Street Address
City/State/Zip

Congratulations everyone!!

And now, a joke courtesy of my 12 year old. (Thanks Meg!)

Once there were two muffins sitting in a microwave oven.

One muffin said, “Man, it’s getting hot in here!”

And the other one said, “AAAAH!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!”