A Word About Thanks
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
The party is over.
Everyone had a good time, or at least, I think they did. I never really get to spend much time at my daughter’s birthday party doing much interacting with anyone, which is the part I dislike most. I’m always running around, checking the food, watching the clock, organizing the events, etc. and I don’t get to visit with guests, sit back and watch the kids play, and generally do the things I’d love to do, but would cost a well-oiled party for 40-50 people that I’m famous for giving. I learned from a master–my mother–but she does manage to socialize more than I do. Cest le vie. It’s the way it goes.
One thing that I did get done tonight was to print out the thank you cards for my daughter to write. By print out, I mean, I designed my own invitations and cards this year because she picked a theme that was hard to find. SHE, however, being 10 now, (YIKES!) will be writing her own thank-you notes. She’s pretty excited about this. I’m ambivalent.
I’m not a big believer in thank-you notes–at least, not when everyone that sent you a gift is standing there when you open it and you say thank you on the spot. I grew up in a family that is very close-knit. Christmas and birthdays were peopled with all the people who bought you a present, so the thank-you happened on the spot. Hug, kiss, thanks. Usually before you moved on to the next present.
My daughter was very good about this today and I was really proud. She loved all her presents and made an appropriate big deal about each and every one, seeking out every giver whether child or adult (or combination of both) and ensuring that they knew how much she loved their gift.
But social graces dictate that she write a thank-you note.
And I’ll be honest, I’m letting her do it because I know it’s a good lesson to learn–but I really think it’s stupid.
Stupid is a harsh word. Overkill is more like it.
I could see her writing a note to her godfather, who lives out of state and sent her present in the mail…but even then, I prefer she pick up the phone and call him. He’s a great guy and I know the conversation will mean more to him than any note scribbled on paper. He’ll get to ask her details about the party itself, find out more about what she’s doing lately and more than likely pepper the conversation with information about his own children, who are both around my daughter’s age–one a few days older, one two years younger.
Isn’t that better?
Why does tradition dictate that notes are required? I’m not entirely sure, but I’d like to hear theories. And when you send a gift to someone and you aren’t there when they open it, would you prefer a call or a note? And if you’re there and they express thanks in person, do you require a written note?
Just curious…and exhausted. I may sleep until Thursday.
