Plot Monkeys

Wow, so many winners to post today! The two winners of Janelle’s Friday’s Madness contest are

Phyllis Lamken (Comment #30)
Wendy (Comment #86)

Congratulations, ladies! You two are the winners of the Bath & Body Gift Set and free book! Please contact me at janelledenison @ sbcglobal.net with your mailing address, and to let me know which one of my backlist books you’d liked autographed. (Depending on availability. Sorry, but BORN TO BE WILDE is not available at this time.)

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Thank you to everyone who participated in my “Wild Title Giveaway”. There were so many great titles to choose from! If I liked a title and more than one person posted it, I drew between those posters, just to be fair. Oh, and since I liked more than one (for possible future titles!!!), there are obviously more than one winner! Seeing all your title suggestions made me realize that I wanted a certain “theme” for the last 3 books in my Wild series. Since the book I just wrote was WILD FOR HIM, I think these are the titles that will follow for the next three books.

Wild For Her (Zoey - comment #50)
Wild For You (Tina M. - Comment #42)
Just Wild Enough (Philomena D. - comment #52)

However, I really liked these titles as “back ups”, so these are winners, too!

Forever Wild (Ardie - comment #47)
Too Wild (JSL - Comment #80)

If your name and suggested title is listed above, please contact me at janelledenison @ sbcglobal.net with your mailing address, and to let me know which one of my backlist books you’d liked autographed. (Depending on availability. Sorry, but BORN TO BE WILDE is not available at this time.)

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And now for the Sunday funny - WORDS WITH DOUBLE MEANINGS:

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male…. Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni- kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female…. A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn- ment) n.
Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male…. . Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female…. An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female…… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

I hope everyone is having a GREAT weekend!!!

I first met Erica Orloff at a conference in Florida when she lived in Miami and I lived in Tampa. I’d read her book, SPANISH DISCO, I’ll admit, because I loved the cover. I’d seen it post-publication while touring the New York offices at Harlequin and bought it as soon as it came out. (That’s why I don’t believe those “I don’t buy books by their cover” claims…I do!)

It was one of (if not THE) first chick-lit books I’d ever read and I was in love. The book was AMAZING. I didn’t remember ever laughing so hard at a book–at one point, I even called my editor to read her a passage. I was so excited to meet Erica and learn that she is just as funny as her writing. She’s also warm and generous and genuinely one of the sweetest women I’ve met.

I’m so excited to have her here today! Please give her a real Jungle welcome!
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Loving Your Synopsis

Ahh, the poor synopsis. The word itself is enough to make the most seasoned writers lose their lunch. But I’ve always loved writing them. In fact, I usually write the synopsis before I finish chapter one. It gives me a general, cinematic idea of where the book is going. It reminds me of how punchy the plot is, how different my character is . . . and if it doesn’t, I know I need to do something before I get in too deep.

I have coached more than my fair share of both aspiring and published writers through composing the synopsis. And most first attempts, I have to say, are . . . well, not so good. It’s as if these writers have forgotten what makes their book sing. They bog the synopsis down in plodding plot details and by page 6 or 8 or 12 (way too long) I’m bored out of my skull. Think of the synopsis as a sales presentation. You want to have the board room eating out of your hand. You want to rivet the room. You want a verbal Powerpoint. You do not want to recite “and then this happens . . . then this.” You want personality and punch.

Okay . . . so I pulled out a synopsis of mine. It sold on proposal. Here are some highlights.

First . . . a tag line.

Freudian Slip . . . A romantic-comedy between heaven and hell.

This is something my agent puts on page one. It grounds the book, it’s pithy, sales-oriented.

Then the synopsis itself . . . in this case, the set-up for the novel:

Julian Shaw expected a long tunnel. Then a white light. Or at least his dearly departed grandmother.

What he got, instead, was Gus.

This is the premise. In four sentences. The minute an editor reads this, she deduces this is about someone who has died . . . sort of.

Moving on, I need to describe my main character in 25 words or less–everything you need to know about him to get through the rest of the proposal.

Julian Shaw, former heroin addict, long-haired, raspy-voiced, sexy DJ, is rich, famous, and hated. His radio show is infamous for inviting lesbians and porn stars on air, and raising the ire of every conservative pundit in the United States.

Note you do not need (nor does it appear anywhere else in the synopsis) Julian’s life story, his past, his back story, anything about his parents or life other than this. That’s ALL you need.

Now . . . major plot point. How did Julian wind up sort of dead?

One morning, Julian is shot in the back by a crazed fanatic and awakes in a place where nothing makes sense.

There you go. I do not need to explain my entire world-building of this place. The editor needs to accept this on face value, and because I present it as a sentence in a synopsis, the editor will just go with it. If they want to know more, they’ll read the chapters. Move on. Keep the synopsis moving.

I’m skipping a little bit, but we meet Julian’s spirit guide, Gus, and continue:

Julian, in a panic, tries to absorb what he’s told. But there’s more. Gus, a Englishman from the 1800s, soon informs him that he has a job to do. He’s been assigned as a sort of celestial social worker, to Kate Darby, who walked in on her boyfriend, and love of her life, in bed with her best friend. Coupled with the death of her fireman father on September 11th, her mother’s hasty remarriage to a creep, and the fact that she has to work in the very next office from her supposed best friend, Kate is seriously depressed.

Kate is very depressed. In fact, the first time we meet her, she’s halfway through a bottle of wine, lying on her living room floor with a box of Kleenex, listening to the same sad song on her CD player over and over. But it’s enough in the synopsis to know this much. We don’t need to know what she does for a living (she’s an editor but it’s not a central plot point), what she looks like, or anything more to get the set-up and how these two characters will interact.

Unfortunately for Julian, he is in Neither Here Nor There, which means he is not as powerful as either angels or devils.

Along the way, Julian will meet both angels and devils, but the fact that this strange place in the book has a name (Neither Here Nor There) means it’s obviously aiming for a bit of humor; it’s quirky. And the editor will soon find out that Julian CAN talk to Kate. A little bit later, we get to the crux of the book.

If the connection is particularly strong, she might even find herself blurting out Julian’s words as her own—a Freudian slip.

I added the italics. And there you go. THAT’S the book. The most important aspect of it. What follows are three or four pages of plot twists . . . which I don’t want to reveal here. And then the end. Voila. A synopsis.

What is NOT there? Any more physical description than what I gave, subplots, secondary characters beyond the main four or five . . . endless details about the plot twists–it’s enough to know they’re there. I don’t try to justify the world, I don’t explain how it works or why it works. It just IS.

And most of all . . . it’s breezy and fast-paced, it has the “feel” of the book. I’m trying to sell it (indeed, it did sell). I try to imagine a person who just wants to hear a good story, who just wants to “cut to the chase.” Give me the highlights. Like recapping a movie or book for a dear friend. Make them smile. Make them want to read the book.

Anyone else? What’s the hardest–or easiest–thing about your synopsis?

Julie here again…Erica’s latest two books are Blood Son (isn’t the cover breathtaking?) and The Poker Diaries. Check them out by clicking on the covers here!

This week Janelle is giving away not just one, but TWO Bath and Body “Wrapped in Luxury” gift sets. Giveaway includes: a travel-friendly leopard cosmetic bag with Japanese Cherry Blossom shower gel, body butter and Eau de Toilette. Winner will also receive an autographed book of their choice from my backlist (depending on availability).

All you have to do to enter today’s contest giveaway is post anything below, then check back on Sunday to see if you’re one of the 2 lucky winners!

Okay, Christimas is over and it’s back to work. I just finished up WILD FOR HIM and I’ve got the next “Wild” book stewing in my mind. Bits and pieces of it are coming together — enough for me to have something for when us Plotmonkeys get together next month for our plotting weekend.

But in the meantime, I need a new “Wild” title for my new book, and I’m trying to come up with something catchy and clever . . . and it’s just not happening. So, I thought I’d enlist the help of our Plotmonkey friends and see just how creative you all are! Give me your best “Wild” titles that you can come up with, and if I choose one to use for my book, you’ll win an autographed book of your choice from my backlist! If more than one of you mention the same title, and I pick it, I’ll draw a winner from those posts.

Here are the titles that I’ve already used:
Something Wilde
Wilde Thing
The Wilde One
The Wilde Side
One Wilde Weekend
Too Wilde Too Tame
Born To Be Wilde
Wild For Him

So, what have you got for me?

(The title I pick, and the winner will be announced on Sunday, so be sure to check back then!)

In retrospect, i received two fabulous gifts for this year. I received more than that, but two stand out as being particularly fabulous.

One is my Hermoine Granger wand.

Yup, a wand.

And in response to the question my brothers asked, no, it doesn’t really work. (Though I did threaten to poke them in the eye if they didn’t stop teasing me over the gift.)

The wand isn’t about whether or not it is useful. The wand is about someone understanding me enough to know that this is a gift I’d love, but would never ever buy for myself or even ask for it. My sister-in-law drew my name and she’s the one who knows me best, so she would have bought me something I loved no matter what she bought. But I had the chance to chat with my nephew (her son) recently and I must have mentioned the wand. I don’t remember mentioning it, but I must have, because he told his mom and she bought it and well, I was pleased as punch. It’s going to have a place of honor on a shelf in my office.

As my brothers and husband made fun of my gift, my SIL turned to them and said, “She’s the one who bought me my Ken as Captain Kirk and Barbie as Yoeman Janice Rand dolls. She gets it.” And I do. I love you, Joy! The wand is fabulous, but the fact that she knew I’d love it is priceless.

My second favorite gift also involved my sister in law. Every year, Joy and I get together to make flan for Christmas Eve, which is known as Noche Buena around these parts (it’s a Cuban-American tradition. My family is primarily Italian, but my now deceased paternal grandmother and my aunt shared Cuban roots, so we celebrate Cuban style on Christmas Eve and Italian style on Christmas day). Anyway, after my grandmother passed away, Joy and I took the recipe and have been trying to recreate it. This year, we finally did it. Took us five years to make two perfect flans…to figure out the secret of what my grandmother knew intrinsically. We also drink while we cook and that might be part of the problem. Usually, we make them at night, too, when we’re tired. This year, our busy schedules kept us from baking until the morning of Christmas Eve. We chose pomegranate mimosas as our drink of choice and they weren’t even strong enough to give us a buzz. So, well rested and sober, we made two perfect flans. Who knew?

This year, we also decided that we needed to learn how to make the deviled crab recipe that my aunt is famous for. She’s in her late seventies and makes about 125 of these delicious spicy treats all on her own for all of us (we have forty-five people on Christmas Eve) to enjoy. She has no daughters and her daughter-in-law doesn’t live in town and I’m not even sure she cooks. It was up to us to learn. So we went over on the day before Christmas Eve and cooked while my aunt supervised. We prepared the sauce, cleaned the crab meat (the hardest part, IMO), rolled those suckers and breaded them. We did everything but the frying. On the way home, we both were aching. How did this woman do this every year? The same way my grandmother stirred the sugar over a hot stove until it carmelized (which takes about twenty minutes of non-stop stirring) for the flan. With love.

We needed Advil.

But all in all, spending time with family and learning traditions and sharing time with my aunt were priceless gifts that I’ll treasure always.

So…did you get anything you really loved this year?

Wishing you all a wonderful, joyous holiday!

FYI - I am technically not here. I’m on vacation in Florida so if I don’t check in often, that’s why. But I wanted to give you something fun to think about so here goes:
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It’s the day before Christmas. Most of you are busy getting ready for the holiday … but in case you stop by and I hope you do, here’s something fun to think about:

I think we all look at certain actors and actresses and think how cool they are. Their hair is awesome, their skin perfect, their husbands or boyfriends HOT! Or maybe there’s an actor or actress you feel as though you relate to on some level. I’ve had this thing for certain actresses - 2 to be specific. One is Kelly Ripa and this was before my book was picked on her Reading with Ripa bookclub. From the time she appeared on All My Children, I just felt some kind of weird click. Not so much as time has gone on though. Weird.

The next actress is Jennifer Garner. It started with my crazy Alias faze which I admit would still be ongoing if the show was on television. At first I loved her character. Then as time went on and she became more famous, I liked how real and down to earth she was/is/seemed to be. Her down home family, her relationship with Ben Affleck and how real he seems to be with her. Her daughter Violet (okay so I wouldn’t still be breast feeding but we have to part ways somewhere ) But we both love the Red Sox.

So the other day, this link showed up in my mailbox. My chance to see what I’d look like with Jennifer Garner’s hair. I could have tried a lot more actresses locks but I didn’t have a photo of myself without bangs to use for the template. Besides, this one was FUN!

So which actor/actress/person do you relate to on some level and why?

Congratulations to…

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Shannon Upright, #25! My daughter picked 25 in honor of the upcoming holiday.

Please email me with your snail mail address so I can send out your gift! Julie at julieleto.com.

And a funny for those of you who are still standing in line during your shopping…or just because we’ve all been there…

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They’re all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. “I want to be gorgeous,” and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says “I want to be gorgeous too” Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:

“Make ‘em all ugly again.”

NEXT TIME YOU’RE LAST IN LINE. BE HAPPY

Blessed are the Cracked,
For they are the Ones who let in the Light

What? No guest blogger?

Believe it or not, it was near to impossible to get someone to come by on the Saturday before Christmas. I mean…what’s up with that?

Okay, I’m kidding…I mean, I’m not kidding, it was impossible, but it’s certainly not surprising.

However, fabulous author Erica Orloff will be with us next weekend! Have you read any of her books? Because honestly, you should.

Anyway, what I’d like to do today is talk a little bit about goal setting. It’s a good thing to do with the new year right around the corner.

We have a lot of aspiring writers here and let me tell you, the sooner you get used to having goals (ie, deadlines) the better. The Goddess of the Deadline smiled at me when my book was moved back a few months for unrelated reasons, giving me a chance to work out a problem I was having with the book. This doesn’t always happen and my goal for this year is to be more disciplined about writing every single day.

I’ve mentioned before that my local writer’s group does a “100 words in 100 days” challenge and it’s been fabulous. Several writers who had never before finished a book did so under this program. We reported in daily or weekly (depended on the author) and keep each other going. I want to encourage the aspiring writers on Plotmonkeys to get together, maybe start an email loop of your own to encourage each other to write. It’s just an idea. What do you think?

And remember, what you write doesn’t have to be publishable. In fact, one of the most exciting things for me is revision. I actually love revising…when I know what I’m fixing. That’s what was killing me on Phantom’s Touch…I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I wasn’t ready to show the book to my editor yet, either. I had to stop writing for a bit, do galleys (page proofs) on Phantom Pleasures and let the problem stew.

After two and a half weeks, the answer came to me…with help from author, Deborah Hale. And that’s another thing…Deb and I know each other through email loops, but I don’t think we’ve ever met and if we’ve corresponded by email privately, it wasn’t a big deal. We didn’t really know each other. But I mentioned something to her and she came back with an insight I simply hadn’t considered…and after a slew of emails back and forth, my solution became clear. All because an author who really doesn’t know me from Adam said something utterly brilliant in a short email.

Contact with other writers is so essential, I think. Some writers are much more solitary, but I prefer to get myself out there. It’s one reason why I love this blog so much! I like interacting with people. I don’t always have time for it, but when things work out, the experience can be so rewarding.

Okay, so my goal for my next book is to write every day. EVERY. DAY. Even if it’s just 100 words.

What’s your writing goal?