Plot Monkeys

I have a very shameful secret: I am an end reader. Did you know that about me?

I know, I know, as a writer I should be absolutely ashamed of myself. But I can’t help it. Even though I am a very fast reader, I simply cannot make it through a book without reading the end. I think it’s because I am always “solving” plots and am therefore very anxious to see if I’m right in my suppositions about what’s going to happen with the story.

I’m a pain in the butt to watch movies with (ask Bruce or my kids!) because I’m always speculating on what’s really going on.

Anyway, there was a reason I brought this up today. You see, because I am an end reader, I have almost NO patience with waiting for the whole story. I remember when Stephen King released The Green Mile in six monthly (or was it bi-weekly?) segments. I absolutely went crazy waiting for the next segment and would be racing off to the store on release day to gobble up the next installment. I remember telling myself at the time that I should never have started the first section until after all six had been released so I could read them one after the other. But it was too late…I was hooked from the start and had to wait like everyone else.

I did not make the same mistake with the Harry Potter books.

My family–Bruce and the girls–have been Potter fanatics for years.
They were always in line at the bookstore at midnight on release day and nearly chewed their lips off waiting between installments.

I never read a word.

Oh, I saw the movies–for some reason, movies don’t affect me quite the way books do. So I kept up on the movies and was just fine waiting a couple of years between each. There was never any mania to know NOW what was going on with Harry’s epic
struggle against you-know-whoo.

I told myself, and them, that it was because it was “their” thing. Something special that the kids shared with their Dad, that I wasn’t a part of. And you know, in some ways, that’s very true. I like that they had something special just with him.

But I also know myself well enough to know it would drive me utterly INSANE to be reading the books like the rest of the world, in bits and pieces, waiting years between each. So I have been telling them that when the 7th book came out, I’d read them all right in a row.

I meant it. The last book came out, I lined up alllllll seven volumes, prepared to pluck them off one-by-one.

I’m sure you can guess where I started.

Ahem…go back to sentence # 1 and you’ll get it.

Yes I read the end first. Felt satisfied with the way it all came out–satisfied enough to give over my time and energy to wading through all the books, THEN I started book 1.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the journey. I’m now in the middle of book 6…and this is the first one that’s completely new to me. Haven’t read it, haven’t seen a corresponding movie, so it’s very fresh. Yes, I know how it ends (duh!) Even if I didn’t read it, I won’t soon forget the sobs and whimpers of my daughters when they read the book and told me who dies in this one.

Still, knowing that I am okay with the ending is making the trip through the stories thoroughly enjoyable. And maybe this time when I read book 7–after reading all those that came before it–I’ll catch new things, nuances, themes, etc., that I didn’t notice before. Or maybe not…maybe I’ll just like it again. Either way is okay with me…I’ve enjoyed the ride, because I already know I like the destination.

How about you? Any other end readers–or even just “end knowers”– out there? (By end knowers: when my hubby told me how the original movie “The Wicker Man” ended, I HAD to know if the remake with Nicolas Cage ended the same way before I would even think about watching it. So I researched, checked out IMDB…and then managed to sit through bits & pieces of the movie. It still ticked me off…but not as much as it would have if I hadn’t known how it ended!)

So come on, fess up…am I the only complete cheat in the room?

PS: I suppose I’m J.K. Rowling’s worst nightmare. I hear she hates end readers. Sorry…what can I say? I’m a weakling!