Plot Monkeys

Leslie’s post last week about Grey’s Anatomy reminded me of another Grey’s inspired topic. For those of you who don’t watch, I’ll sum it up: Cristina got engaged to Burke but she wanted it kept quiet from everyone until she (Cristina) told Meredith, her best friend. Burke slipped and told Chief. And he told two friends, and so on and so on … Cristina was furious and ran around the hospital looking for Meredith. Because the engagement wasn’t officially real to her until she told Meredith. Burke didn’t get it. Cristina explained (forgive me for paraphrasing here): Meredith was her person. If Cristina killed someone, the first person she’d call would be Meredith who would help her drag the body across the kitchen floor and get rid of it. Meredith was her person.

I got it immediately. I have my person. I also realized this is probably a female thing. But then an interesting discussion came up while we were waiting in Newark Airport hoping to finally get on the plane to Aruba. Someone (a female) asked if we’d seen Grey’s. And they asked about the person. Did I get it? Yes. Do I have one? Yes. Although my friend understood the point, my friend said she did not have a person. The funny thing was that I understood and expected that she wouldn’t have a person based on her personality and thoughts about people and life. Totally got it – for her.

Another friend came into the conversation. (Yes, half my town was on this flight). She said she had a person – and proceeded to name her sister and two friends. Uh-uh. You can not have more than one person. Another friend said she had more than one person because one of those persons lives too far away. I had to think on this for awhile. Again, a big uh-uh.

In my mind, the big moment comes: you kill someone and can only tell ONE person – I don’t care if other people live closer or are more convenient – there is just one person you trust enough to handle this with you and be there for you. You sell a book. You get engaged. You fulfill a lifelong dream. YOU CAN ONLY CALL ONE PERSON FIRST, THEREFORE YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE PERSON. IMO only, of course. But it’s my blog. I can say what I want. You get your turn later.

There’s one more part to this equation. Assuming this having a person theory applies to women only, I think your person has to be female. I think we’re talking about a friend who fills a spot in your life that family does not. Ask Cristina. She’d understand. Meredith is her person.

I know someone (and they know who they are ) who will say her person is her husband and to me, this is like me saying my person is my mother. My mom and I are that close. If you know me, you know how many times I talk to my mom a day and how important she is in my life. If I get that one phone call for certain things, I’d probably call mom first. Hubby knows this and understands it because for other things, I’d call him first. It by no means diminishes his importance in my life. This isn’t your PERSON. There are certain OTHER things that you only want to tell your person first. So when I think about having a person, I think family (sisters and husbands included) have to be filtered out. This isn’t a judgment about those other people in your life (hubbies, moms, friends etc.) But either you have A PERSON or you don’t.

Your spouse can be your very best friend. You can have other friends who you adore and would do anything for and with. You can have other best friends. BUT YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE PERSON.

For me, this was a really fascinating conversation that opened up with a lot of people after that episode of Grey’s. So I have to ask: HOW MANY OF YOU AGREE WITH MY THEORY THAT YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE PERSON? AND THAT FOR WOMEN, THAT PERSON IS FEMALE? Inquiring minds want to know …