Plot Monkeys

… and not just because I’ve been known to wear a bright yellow ELTON JOHN sweatshirt that embarrasses the heck out of my kids (whether it’s the color or the fact that I wear an Elton shirt, I’m not sure). Traveling with me can almost certainly guarantee flight delays. I am a purely unlucky traveler.

Case in point:
1. RWA Reno – left my house at 4 AM for a 6 AM flight. Stopover in Chicago then into Reno. I figured Chicago is a major hub and in the middle of the summer we’re not worried about snowstorms. Now let it be said along with room service, I am the Plotmonkey least likely to take a stopover flight. Unfortunately no direct flight to Reno existed for me that summer. I landed in Chicago no problem but apparently there were thunderstorms or something that ended up making me late, miss my flight, get stranded at O’Hare ALONE for ten hours, at which point I finally made my flight and by the time I walked into the hotel in Reno it had been almost 24 hours from the time I left my house (NY time).
2. Plotmonkey Trip to Florida – To Disney, the happiest place on earth, according to Julie. Right. But you have to get there first. This story is a little hazy but the way I remember it, Janelle flew into Tampa the day before because she had a longer travel day. Julie and Janelle were going to pick me up at the airport and we’d drive to Orlando to meet up with Les. I arrived at the airport only to discover there was something wrong with the plane or the plane never made it in from its original destination … I can’t remember which. But we weren’t getting a straight answer and so I waited and waited. Janelle and Julie had manicures and pedicures, made a trip to the bakery, and went shopping. I sat in the airport. In the end, to get a plane, the flight crew DROVE to a nearby airport to get the plane and fly it back to my airport at which point I finally made it to Tampa. Because this was hot on the heels of the horrible Reno trip, I remember breaking down and crying on this one. :cry:
3. Aruba 2007 – we’d passed the nightmare Valentine’s Day storm, we weren’t flying Jet Blue this year, and we’d sympathized with the poor people who were stranded for 11 hours ON a plane. The day of our departure was bright and sunny and we were SO THERE. Now you have to realize we knew half the plane and if we didn’t know them, they were all families like us going on vacation to Aruba. We met up with our family friends who we take this trip with (they have two boys sort of near my girls ages) and we had other neighborhood friends on the plane. What happens? The board changes from ON TIME at 8:30 to 9:00. At 9:00 we heard that there was mechanical trouble (are we sensing a pattern here?) and they’d let us know more in twenty minutes. Needless to say, there was NO OTHER PLANE anywhere to substitute for our plane and they were having serious trouble fixing the plane or the part or whatever. I’m having visions of LOST. I take a walk to the bathroom. I come back and I can’t find my family or our friends. I’m looking, and looking … I walk up and down, back and forth and finally I see they’ve taken seats in the back of the room – and are all LAUGHING at me for not being able to find them as nobody called my name to alert me. Why? They wanted to laugh at the idiot in the yellow Elton John sweatshirt. :biteme:

At 11:30 they gave us a $7 food allowance per person which everyone used to horde up on food nobody planned to eat, just on principle, (go figure) and then suddenly everyone was scrambling because THEY’D FIXED THE PLANE and we were boarding! Only 4 hours late. We board. We can’t take off because someone is in the rest room for too long. This should have been an omen I listened to because I got nauseaus on the plane. Now understand 1) I’ve never barfed on an airplane and didn’t intend to now; 2) I would rather pass out than puke. Unfortunately I had no choice and just made it to the restroom. By the time we left the plane, I was so sick I had to stop before making it to customs to sit and put my head down so I didn’t pass out. Luckily it was a 24 hour thing and I was at the pool the next morning, not happy but at least marginally alive.

Alive enough to have written 40 pages during the week … maybe I should move there?
The rest of the trip was pure bliss and paradise.
Day …

and
Night …

So do any of you have nightmare travel stories or are you one of the lucky ones who flies without incident?

(Don’t forget to check back Saturday for my KELLY RIPA story)