Plot Monkeys

Subtitled…why deadlines are bad for the electric system of your house.

Despite the title of this post, I did not lose my temper this week. Okay, I might have…once…but that’s not what I’m writing about. What I did was literally blow a fuse.

While I was partying with my TARA sisters (Tampa Area Romance Authors) at the St. Petersburg Yacht Club where they make awesome margaritas, amazing salad and to-die-for creme brulee, my husband and daughter spent the day on Saturday taking out our Christmas decorations. With the exception of the 12 foot inflatable train that I *had* to buy (and which my husband still doesn’t know where he’s goign to put it because it will kill the grass…remember, I’m in Florida, we still have grass this time of year)…all the lights and our animated reindeers went up. Luckily for me, my husband was too tired to go buy a tree (which means I get another week that I don’t have to decorate it…a chore I hate.)

But the lights were up, bright in white, green, red, blue and gold. And then…I was hit by deadline dementia.

You see, whoever wired our house (likely the contractor we hired/fired six years ago to redo our bathrooms) but the bathroom heater onto the same circuit as the outlet on our front porch. I know, I know…you’re asking WHY I need a bathroom heater in Florida. Well, I hate to be cold…let’s leave it at that. (I mean, I live in Florida for a reason!) Anyway, I knew…have known for years that if I turn on the bathroom heater in my daughter’s bathroom when the Christmas lights are on, we’re going to flip the breaker. Then I have to go unplug stuff and climb onto something to make me taller to flip the breaker back.

Or so I thought.

This year, I blew the whole fuse. It’s been four days and we have no electricity in the hallway or my daughter’s bathroom. We used an extension cord to get the TV and the Tivo working again, because, hey, Monday night was Heroes. The electrician comes tomorrow and I can only imagine what he’s going to charge. All because I did something I knew I wasn’t supposed to do.

I blame deadline dementia. This is a very real condition and causes random bouts of extreme forgetfullness. In the throes of DD, I’ve been known to back into people’s cars who I know are parked behind me, leave my daughter’s lunchbox on the table so I have to go home after dropping her off from school only to realize I’ve also forgotten my purse, left the dog outside (actually forgetting I have a dog) and other various and sundry examples that my brain is in the book and not in my life.

The book will be done by next week…I have about 50 pages to go. But in the meantime, I have advised everyone not to leave me in charge of their children or pets…or the electrical systems of their houses. It’s just a safety precaution.