Plot Monkeys

I wanted to post an exclusive excerpt of my short story in SANTA BABY which is released TODAY and includes a new Jennifer Crusie novella and a reprinted Lori Foster. However, the story is so old, I don’t have it in my computer anymore, it’s on a disk and I can’t access it ::sniff:: So instead, I’ll direct you to my website for a read and remind you to order or head to your bookstore ASAP.

Enjoy and stay safe!
Love,
The Plotmonkeys

First: The winner of Roxanne St. Claire’s contest last Monday was Sherry, Message # 44! Congratulations! (Please contact Roxanne at roxannestc@cfl.rr.com to give her your address.)

Now…HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVE!

You all know I love Halloween,

I’ve been talking about it since last month! So I thought today at Plotmonkeys, we’d just have some FUN.

I made up the following 15 Trivia questions (with a bonus extra credit section.) Give it your best shot. (No cheating by copying someone else’s answers…lol!) Whoever has the most correct answers wins a prize pack of my 3 books that have some kind of Halloween element. These include my newest release, ASKING FOR TROUBLE, a 10/03 Temptation called TRICK ME, TREAT ME, and my very first published book, a Harlequin Temptation from 9/99 called NIGHT WHISPERS.

If there’s a tie, we’ll use the tiebreaker section at the end. In case of more than one tied top score, I’ll do a random drawing.

Now, ready? Get set…GO!

1. When springtime comes, you don’t want to be late,
just don’t ask this girl to be your prom date.”
Who is she?

2. Chunky writers who are sitting all day really need to exercise. But they don’t need The Exorcist like this green-puking girl did…
Who? (name the actress)

3. One winter at the Overlook, and you’ll want to come back.
Unless you’re there with a father named Jack!
Big Wheels in the hallway, dead broads in the tubs,
The book was by the author Leslie truly luvs!
Name the movie: (extra credit if you name the author of the book)

4. Who played Michael Myers’ sister? (the one who survived…name the actress)

5. “When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy,
you knew he was a no good kid.
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife…
What a guy! Makes you cry. And I did.”
Who played Eddie, and in what movie?

6. Who likes a nice chianti to go with his fava beans?

7. On Friday the 13th, don’t go out for a swim,
Because you must remember what happened to him.
Who?

8. Cute as a button, hair red, freckles black,
He’s a little doll…with a knife behind his back!
Name him:

9. “The plane’s gonna crash!” “The cars are gonna crash!” “The roller coaster’s gonna crash!” GET OFF NOW!
Name the movie franchise:

10. Before he became Captain Jack Sparrow and Sexiest Man of the Year
Johnny Depp met this monster, who filled his dreams with fear.
Who?

11. Norman Bates, his mother he hates,
He felt so much power, killing Janet Leigh in the shower.
Name the movie

12. “Hello, Sidney,” a scary voice said. How many more SCREAMs would there be ahead?
Name the total number of Scream movies

13. Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley could have been a Bombshell heroine… Name the movie series

14. Brad Pitt’s a hottie who rocks…except when he finds his wife’s head in a box. Name the movie

15. Speaking of Brad, he supposedly didn’t find it groovy,
Playing Tom Cruise’s buddy in this blood-sucking movie. Name the movie

Extra Credit: (Counted only to break ties)

Match the Dracula with the movie:
1. Bela Lugosi
2. George Hamilton
3. Frank Longella
4. Max Schreck
5. Leslie Nielsen
6. Gary Oldman
7. Gerard Butler
8. Rutger Hauer
9. William Marshall
10. Bela Lugosi (another one)

a. Bram Stroker’s Dracula
b. Nosferatu
c. Blacula
d. Dracula III: Legacy
e. Dracula (1933)
f. Dracula 2000
g. Love At First Bite
h. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
i. Dracula (1979)
j. Dracula: Dead And Loving It

The winner of Friday’s Jungle Madness Contest is:

JEANNIE (Comment #30)

Congratulations! Be sure to email me with your full name and mailing address at: janelle@janelledenison.com so I can mail you your prize. Oh, and you also need to let me know which book of mine you would like to receive!

And now, for our Sunday funny. This isn’t my dog, but I thought this picture was appropriate (and darn cute!) considering Tuesday is Halloween! And you know exactly what this dog is thinking about his goofy costume:

Welcome to the Saturday Chit-Chat, where Plotmonkey readers just like you post a question for all four Plotmonkeys to answer! It’s a chance to get to know us and our books better. If you have a query, please send it to carly@carlyphillips.com!

Here’s another one from Kelly F!

If you could write for another Genre which would it be and why??

CP: Romance. The one I am currently writing for suits me fine. I have no desire to change. I love love what I do and want to keep doing it!

JEL: I wish I could write straight mysteries or suspense, but I don’t think I could shrink down the romance enough. It’s such a part of who I am. My Marisela books go about as far as I think I want to in that area–the romance is not the central focus by any means, but I write sexy characters and so, conversely, they have to have hot sex, right? I’d love to have the brain to be able to write women’s fiction as I so love reading it, but so far, no ideas have come to me. I have had a few ideas for YA books, but I need to wait until my daughter is older so I can catch up on all the current slang, LOL! I’ve been so fortunate to be able to write what I love…no complaints here!

LK: Super-gory, super-scary thrillers. I know, I know, a strange combination with romance, which is my day job, but I really love to be scared (as I know all you regular blog readers know already.) I have loved Stephen King stories since I was a kid and I one day dream of keeping someone else up at night in absolute terror as he has done to me. That, and keeping readers up in absolute horniness…wow, my life would be complete.

JD: I absolutely love reading and writing romances. I can’t imagine writing anything else and I’ve truly never had any desire to do so. I like my stories with happily-ever-after endings!

This week is the last chance to sign up for the Plotmonkey’s newsletter (look to your right!) and be eligible to win four books, one from each Plotmonkeys, signed!! We’ll announce the winner next Saturday!

It’s Jungle Madness Friday!!! With October being Breast Cancer Awareness month, I wanted to giveaway something special that would remind the winner of the power of breast cancer awareness. With that in mind, I’m giving away a beautiful Brighton “Power of Pink” charm bracelet ($50.00 value).

Each year, Brighton specially designs a new Breast Cancer Awareness bracelet to help raise money that goes to various breast cancer charities. A portion of the purchase price of the bracelet is donated, and last year they helped to raise over $615,000 with the sale of these bracelets. This year, Brighton has truly outdone themselves in creating a charm bracelet that features sparkling pink aurora borealis Swarovski crystals and charms that are inscribed with empowering messages such as: “Accept”, “Trust”, “Love”, “Heal”, and “Be The Inspiration”. This “Power of Pink” charm bracelet also has a heart locket where you can tuck a photo of a loved one inside.

Winner will also receive their choice of book from Janelle’s backlist (depending on availability of book), along with other fun promotional goodies.

All you have to do to enter this contest is post on today’s blog. Winner will be announced on Sunday, so be sure to stop by over the weekend to check and see if you’re the winner!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I’m doing my part to make you all aware of this deadly disease. This past year I had a scare of my own after having my annual mammogram. There was a lump in my breast that showed up in the mammogram x-ray, and it was one that I wasn’t able to feel or find myself. My doctor ordered a sonogram on the area to make sure that the lump was benign, but during that three day wait until my appointment it really weighed heavily on my mind. Also, Carly had a similiar kind of scare. She felt her lump in her breast and immediately went to the doctors to get a mammogram done. Thank God both of our lumps were benign and we’re okay.

Some women aren’t so lucky. And even worse, there are many women out there who don’t have the medical insurance to get a yearly mammogram, or just can’t afford the cost on their own. The best and earliest way to detect breast cancer is by having a mammogram, and it’s imperative that it’s done yearly. Especially after the age of 40.

Each year, 182,000 women are diagnosed with breast cancer and 43,300 die. One woman in eight either has or will develop breast cancer in her lifetime. In addition, 1,600 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 400 will die this year. If detected early, the five year survival rate exceeds 95%. Mammograms are among the best early detection methods, yet 13 million US women 40 years of age or older have never had a mammogram.

That said, I would like each and every one of you to go to The Breast Cancer Site, where you can click on the “Fund Free Mammograms” button to help fund free mammograms to low-income, inner-city and minority women, whose awareness of breast cancer is often limited. This is a very legitimate site, and you are allowed to visit The Breast Cancer Site daily and click once.

Here are a few other ways to help fund those free mammograms. Tell your friends and family about The Breast Cancer Site. By spreading the word, you’ll help increase the number of visitors to The Breast Cancer Site and the amount of funding they generate for mammograms. Word of mouth – telling 5 friends who tell 5 friends – is a powerful way to fight breast cancer. And remember, you can click on this link once a day!

Make The Breast Cancer Site your home page and visit daily as soon as you log on to the internet! This is a great way to remind yourself to click each day, while spreading the word to others.

Lastly, if you haven’t had your mammogram this year, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT NOW! It could save your life!

Be sure to stop by tomorrow (Janelle’s Jungle Madness Friday!) where I’ll be giving away a very special prize ($50 value!) to help raise awareness of Breast Cancer Awareness month!

Yesterday, I received an envelope from Harlequin. Inside was a letter addressed to me. It had been opened and read by the reader service, which is what they do there. This is what the letter said (the grammar, punctuation, spelling errors are original to the work):

Julie Elizabeth Leto–

This being a Harlequin Book thought it would be a good Book boy was I surprised “a dirty Book”–thank God I have no young people in the house who got this dirty book. I know people do the things you discribe in your writing How do you know about this kind of doings? Do you do this? You should have printed on the Book Cover “Dirty Book”–I suppose you think Hollywood will make a movie of your work. For what is coming out of Hollywood you may get a Contract or Porno Movie. You may act in it since you seem to know so much of the Action

It wasn’t signed.

Dear Letter Writer,

:biteme:

Signed,

Julie Elizabeth Leto

That feels better. I’d rather say it to her directly, but the coward didn’t sign her name or leave a return address. All it had was this handwritten note…oh, and the cover of my book, torn in two.

What would I have really written had the woman been brave enough to leave her name…let me try again.

Dear Uptight Bitch,

Thank you so much for your letter! Although the book, DOUBLE THE PLEASURE, is over three years old, I wanted you to know that your purchase pushed me over the top in sales and I received a huge bonus as a result. THANK YOU! I’m so glad you enjoyed it well enough to take the time to write, because I can’t imagine that someone would carve out a portion of their day just to be self-righteous and cruel to someone they don’t even know. I mean, readers who see the BIG WHITE BLAZE on the BRIGHT RED COVER obviously realize this book is going to be sexually explicit. Especially when it says, “Red Hot Reads” on the back cover.

As for your suggestion that I re-title the book “Dirty Book,” isn’t it great how great minds think alike? I have two books on the shelves right now called DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS and DIRTY LITTLE LIES. Clearly, they are right up your alley!

Thanks again for taking the time to write and I hope that all of the positive thoughts you put out toward others come back to you ten times. You deserve it!

That “dirty” writer,

Julie Elizabeth Leto

(The bonus thing is a lie…but hey, it’s fun, yes?)

I often ask myself why people feel the need to write authors and tell them all the stuff they did wrong–or worse, to rake someone they’ve never met over the coals and attack them personally (though the fact that someone thinks I should star in my own porn movie isn’t ENTIRELY insulting…but close.) I’ve written many authors to tell them how much I love their work, but never to insult or criticize. I figure if a book doesn’t work for me, it’s just a matter of personal taste.

Ah, well. I console myself with the fact that this woman likely isn’t getting any–and what she’s getting probably isn’t any good.

And she gave me a topic for my blog…which is always a good thing.

Here’s something you didn’t know about me. I was a politics major but I love(d) history. I loved mythology. I loved learning about the past and cultures and social studies. Bringing this love into the tawdry present, I was a Princess Diana fan. So when I sixteen and Lady Diana Spencer married Prince Charles, heir to the throne, I set my alarm for four A.M. and got up to watch the fairytale. No, I didn’t know then I wanted to write or that I’d be a romance author who penned my own happy endings any more than anyone knew Lady Di would divorce Prince Charles and die too soon. I still remember where I was when I got the news that the Princess had been in a car accident in a Paris tunnel. I was sitting with my daughter on AOL and I read about the crash. I woke up the next morning to the awful news. And like the rest of the world (or most of it) I mourned her death as if I knew her. I cried buckets. I cried for her now motherless boys who were left with the unfeeling royals to raise them. And I bought the Elton John CD of the single he said he’d “never sing again” after he recorded it right after the funeral. I would like to think it wasn’t the sensationalism that I was drawn to, but what I perceived to be her open, generous spirit, her giving. To me, Diana represented what I wished I could be – willing to help those in need not just financially but personally. I think I was a little in love with the People’s Princess.

So when I saw the recent trailer for the movie THE QUEEN with Helen Mirren starring as Elizabeth II in the days following Diana’s death, I wanted to see the movie. I also knew nobody in my family would go with me. Shockingly, my parents decided to go see it on Sunday and I went with them. I am so glad I did. The movie was a fascinating (if slanted? I don’t know/I don’t much care) look into the stuffy royal family. Following Diana’s death, the public knew the British royal family remained in Scotland at Balmoral on holiday. They didn’t know what went on behind the scenes but oh everyone was curious and ate up the tabloids. The truth – and again I think the movie wasn’t slanted but a real portrayal of struggle – was that the Queen (much as she hated what Diana became and had done in her mind to the family and their perception) had been raised as royalty. She knew only how to remain above the people. To be stoic. In control. She waited, day by day, for the public to “come to their senses” and realize she was doing the right thing. Remaining withdrawn from them. If the movie is to be believed, she caved in and returned to England, lowered the flag over Buckingham Palace, made a public appearance before the mountains of flowers, and allowed a public funeral, because Tony Blair who had just recently been elected Prime Minister, talked her into doing so. He pointed out the error of her ways and helped her save the monarchy in England – at least for the time being. If the movie can be believed, the Queen cried for a stag about to be killed by her husband the hunter, but not for Diana. There is dry humor. The Queen Mum is a riot – whether or not she was meant to be.

And lessons were learned. The Queen learned it hurts to be disliked. (Oh don’t all mere mortals understand that!) and she told Tony Blair, who profited politically from that week following the accident, one day they shall turn on you too. Without warning. And thanks to current events (we steer clear of politics and controversy on plotmonkeys), slowly they have. What goes around comes around. History repeats itself in mysterious ways. And in the end, it all comes down to human nature. Even the Queen is human.

And Diana, the people’s princess, forever immortalized in grace and perfection, was sadly the most human of all. I hope she’s found the peace that eluded her in life.

I suppose I should ask a question to generate conversation … like who do you idolize? But really, I just wanted to post my thoughts, and hear yours whatever they may be!

I am so happy to introduce one of the most talented and fun people I know. Roxanne (Rocki) St. Claire and I met in Florida several years ago, right after I’d sold my first book. We were both stay-at-home moms with little ones, both with big dreams of a career in romance writing and a liking for white wine and laughter. For those of you who’ve read her books, you already know Rocki is one of the most talented authors out there…she’s gonna be big, folks. No doubt about it.

And if you haven’t read her, now is a great time to start. She’s recently launched a series of books about a group of hot-as-sin bodyguards, the Bullet Catchers: (click on cover to order from Amazon)

And now, let’s give a warm jungle welcome to Roxanne St. Claire!

The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of…

Hi everyone! What an honor and privilege to be invited to guest blog at one of my very favorite sites, populated and penned by four of the world’s best romance writers and all around great people! Thanks to the plotmonkeys for holding out a branch so I could swing through this fun jungle.

I’ve got my mind on marriage today. No, no, I’m not getting married. I did that – 17 years ago. But I’ve been reading some emails from readers and am always surprised when they mention their husbands to me (and I’m delighted to hear from the husbands, too!), reminding me of a theory I’ve had for many years. A theory about marriage, happiness and reading.

Back in the days when alcohol flowed freely at the annual RWA Rita Awards and attendees sat at tables more like the Golden Globes than the Oscars, I’ve heard rumors that there used to be a secret drinking game: every time a winner thanked her husband, attendees took a sip. By the time Nora stepped up to accept her annual statuette, most of the room would be spinning.

This bit of folklore (I’m certain it’s not true – romance writers never drink) demonstrates a theory I’ve held since I started writing romance and meeting the people who love to read it: we’re a happily married bunch. Judging from the mail I get and the hundreds of readers I’ve met in person, romance readers might love their heroes hot and hunky, but their hearts belong to the man who mows the lawn, fires up the barbecue and hides the remote next to his La-Z-Boy. And I really believe there’s a relationship between the love we read and write about, and the one we cuddle next to when we close the book and end the day.

Before becoming a novelist, I spent 18 years in public relations, an industry populated by high-energy women who are particularly gifted at putting a positive spin on everything. And yet, separation, dissatisfaction and man bashing were the norm, not the exception, and in those two decades, I attended more divorce decree parties than weddings. When I switched careers and began to develop friendships and share secrets with a whole new set of girlfriends, I was constantly amazed by the general (and I am generalizing) impression that many of these lovers of the HEA had found one of their own. In fact, the phrase “she’s married to her real life hero” morphed from cute to cliché the fourteenth time I read it.

So, is it possible that there’s a connection? Are those of us who live for love – the writers, the readers, the fantasy-seekers – just lucky in love? Or do we work harder for the happy ending because it is so important to us? Or do we actually learn how to keep the fires stoked because we read and write about it every day? I believe we do. I believe that a lifetime of reading and writing about the stuff that dreams are made of gives us some power tools that help us make those dreams come true in our own lives.

And, yes, before you ask, I married my real life hero. I got into an elevator on June 8, 1987 and quite literally stopped in my tracks. He was gorgeous, dressed in Armani and when he smiled, my stomach fell faster than the car on its way to the first floor.
On June 8, 1989, in that very same elevator, he dropped to one knee, blinded me with a diamond and said, “This is where I found you, so this is where I want to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.” I swear I didn’t make that up. Here’s a picture of him.

Just kidding. That’s Alex Romero, the Bullet Catcher from KILL ME TWICE. How did he get in here?

Here’s my husband….

Whoops. Another one of those pesky bodyguards I write about. That’s Dan Gallagher. His book’s coming up in the future.

Oh, here he is. Seventeen years and many elevator dips later…

So, in an effort to improve the quality of even just one marriage, I’m going to give away a signed copy of THRILL ME TO DEATH, one of my Bullet Catcher books. I hope that it, and many other wonderful romance novels, remind you of the first time you fell in love and knew, without a doubt, that he was The One! Happy reading!

xoxo
Rocki
www.roxannestclaire.com

Congratulations to Donna M., #56, the winner of this week’s contest! Please email me at julie@julieleto.com with your snail mail address so I can start the process of shipping the prize.

The following funny is doubly hilarious when you take into consideration that my very conservative, Catholic mother sent it to me via email. Enjoy!

Eve’s side of the story

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. “So, how is everything going?” inquired God.

“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied.

“The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain,” reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc……….she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more “symmetrically balanced,” as she put it.

“That is a fair point,” replied God, “But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.”

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

“Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?”

“Just fantastic,” she replied, “but for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”

God thought for a moment and said, “You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let’s see…where did I put the useless boob?”

Now doesn’t THAT make more sense than the rib?