Plot Monkeys

Last week I wrote a blog about my evening at the Faith Hill and Tim McGraw concert, and the exciting treatment I received as a VIP – from being escorted backstage, to the VIP party, to the private performance by Tim & Faith before the concert, and our outstanding seats four feet away from the stage.

This week, I’m going to give you all a recap of my view from the “cheap seats” at the American Idol concert I went to this past weekend. (Try and say “cheap seats” three times real fast – HA!). We bought these tickets months ago and got the best seats we could at the time, but let me tell you, there is a HUGE difference between being a VIP and being a concert go-er with just average seats.

First of all, there were no free drinks or a buffet to eat from. We had to stand in a long line at the concession stand and ended up with a cold, bland hamburger (trust me, this was the best choice for my diet!) and a diet Coke. Then we went to find our seats and discovered that we were so far away that we had to watch the big screen above the stage if we really wanted a good look at any of the performers. This particular concert is held at an ice hockey rink that they make over for concerts, so we were sitting on the side and had to twist our bodies and crane our necks to the right to see the stage. Both my husband and I ended up with kinks in our necks by the time the concert was over.

All the pictures you see here on the blog for the American Idol concert were NOT taken at the actual concert by me. Again, we were too far away to take pictures, so we didn’t even bother. There was no reaching out to shake anyone’s hand, or to tug on anyone’s pant leg, LOL. And there was no reason to stand up, because it didn’t get us any closer to the stage or the performers.

When the concert began, I noticed a huge difference in this crowd compared to the Tim and Faith crowd. Even though there were only 20,000 people at this concert , compared to 60,000 at the Tim and Faith concert, this audience was equally as loud. Except, while the audience at the T&F concert was made up of 90% adults, I’d have to say that the American Idol crowd was about 70% kids from the ages of 5 to 17 years of age – and mostly GIRLS with their moms. Their cheers were shrieks of excitement, the high-pitched kind that make you cringe because it hurts your ears. Or maybe my husband and I are just getting old, LOL! Anyway, it seemed like we were in the midst of a teeny-bopper concert, and all we could do was laugh.

If you’re an American Idol fan, I’ll give you a run-down of the concert - - and my opinion on who I liked best, etc. The Idols that were just “okay” for me were Mandisa, Paris, Kellie, Ace, and Bucky. Seeing them live really made me realize that they all need to really work on their vocals. While they are all good singers, they just aren’t “stellar”, in my opinion. However, the teens in the audience would likely disagree with me, judging on their shrieks – especially for Ace, LOL!

The one Idol who absolutely blew me away with her performance was 16 year old Lisa Tucker. During the TV show, I thought she was just okay, but at the concert I thought she had the night’s strongest performance among the women. She sat down at a piano and gave the audience a heartfelt rendition of Elton John’s “Your Song” – with no accompaniment from the band. Her singing literally gave me goosebumps, it was so good. Who knew she was so outstanding? I honestly never saw that side to her on the show.

Katharine McPhee was also really good. I enjoyed her singing a lot and she definitely wowed the crowd. She’ll have a great career, I’m sure.

Elliott Yamin has always been one of my personal favorites. He’s not a rocker, but rather a guy who prefers smooth jazz and R&B and sings it very well. He’s mellow, yet he’s got an amazing vocal range that works for me. If he puts out an album, I’ll definitely buy it. Oh, and he did a duet with Chris Doughtry that was surprisingly good. The two sing very well together because they both have very distinct voices.

Taylor Hicks. There’s no doubt that he has a great voice. However, I wasn’t as impressed as I thought I’d be with his performance. If you watched the TV show, you’ll remember that Taylor was always twisting and twitching on stage and doing his funky dances. This show was no different – except after the first song he was out of breath, and the other three songs he sang just fell flat because he continued to run around the stage, and the words to his songs came out between huffs and puffs of breaths. I’m not joking! My husband and I were both disappointed because we expected a stronger performance from Taylor.

Of course I saved the best for last. Mega-talented Chris Daughtry. The man has a voice that is gravelly and sexy, raw and edgy, and one you’d recognize with your eyes closed, it’s that distinct. Compared to the cheers for Taylor Hicks and the more modest (but enthusiastic) applause for the other Idols, I do have to say that the audience shrieked and screamed the loudest for Chris – which really made me wonder why he got cut from the competition so early since he was clearly a huge favorite among the crowd. In his concert performance, he was the most polished, confident performer of the entire bunch – hands down. He brought the house down with his rendition of “Wanted Dead or Alive”, and based on audience feedback, I think he may be poised for the biggest post-idol career. I’m not a huge hard rock fan, but I, for one, will be buying his album as soon as it’s released.

Overall it was a fun concert and evening out – if you don’t count the incredibly rude guy who was sitting behind us that had a commentary on the entire concert and performers, and talked through the nearly 2 ½ hour event. Don’t you hate annoying people like that who talk during movies, plays, or concerts that you’re trying to enjoy? That’s a huge pet peeve of mine – and a blog for another time!

Yesterday was the day.

Launch day.

Release day.

Whatever you want to call it, by all reports, yesterday was the day that DIRTY LITTLE LIES showed up in stores.

I’m biting my nails.

I know I shouldn’t. It’s a nasty habit. Actually, it’s only a metaphorical biting of nails because I’m much too busy working on promotion and answering emails to be biting anything on my hands.

But I’m nervous.

I admit it.

You can tell by these short, one-sentence paragraphs.

I do that when I’m nervous.

Nervous? Why? Well, so far, the reader response to the book has been fabulous. I’ve heard from several booksellers who have read the book and have had nothing but wonderful things to say. Readers, too.

Have I posted excerpts from reviews?

That seems so vain. I won’t do that. But you can read them at my Marisela website. The website is entirely updated, so please take a few minutes to look around and see what’s new. Check out the new Max. And if you’ve never been there before…why not? It’s fun! It has sexy men. Girls with guns. That’s a good thing, right?

So, dear Plotmonkey devotees, if you are anywhere near a Borders, Barnes & Noble, Waldenbooks, please see if Dirty Little Lies is where it should be, in the romance section under L for Leto. Or better yet, on the new release mass market paperback table. That’s always a thrill. FACE OUT. I mean, you wouldn’t want your fellow readers to miss that great cover, right?

I do not know if the book will make it into the discount retailers (Walmart, Kmart, Target) as those nuts are very hard for we new-to-single-title authors to crack.

I know Amazon & BN.com are shipping. The ebook version has been available from Simonsays.com for about a month.

I’m rambling. I know I’m rambling.

I should be blogging about something else, but honest to God, this is the only thing on my mind right now. I had to be so self-absorbed, but well, this book means a lot to me. I care if it succeeds. Is that selfish?

Anyway, okay…let me blog about something else. Oh, yes. Ernesto. As of this writing, he’s just a big bully of a Tropical Storm. The spaghetti tracks (when you live in Florida you learn lots of weather lingo like spaghetti tracks, cone of danger, storm surge, etc.) show it coming pretty close to here, but they aren’t closing the schools. I promised my daughter that if things turned ugly, I’d go pick her up. I’m praying for light rain. I’ve got work to do!

You know, when I’m this nervous about something I have only a few choices of what to do to stem this anxiety. One, call Carly. Check. Two, call Leslie (after she finds the number to her new place in Maryland.) Check. Three, call/email with Janelle because that whole three hour time difference is a bitch. Check. Four, call my critique partner, Susan Kearney. She’s out of town. Call her anyway. Check.

Fifth–blog about it.

Let’s have a party! Marisela and Frankie and Ian and Max are running loose and wreaking havoc. :idea: Oooh…what about another EXCLUSIVE Plot-monkeys ONLY excerpt! That’s an idea!

What do you think?
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Fifteen minutes later, the limousine pulled to a stop behind a large white building with stark brick architecture and institutional iron doors. A tall, blonde, tuxedoed man emerged from the backseat of the limo parked ahead of theirs and started toward her and Frankie. Ian Blake opened the door and leaned inside, looking cool and contained and, damn him, delicious.

Marisela turned and proceeded down the hall. This wasn’t over. Not for the congressman. And obviously, not for her.

I was out with my mom today. My cell phone rang for the hundredth time. It was my ten year old. She was home with her sister and the sitter and she made Mac and Cheese, you know the kind in a cup? Add water and microwave. She ended up setting off the fire alarm. “How do I shut it off?” By the time I answered, my cell phone rang again. This time it was the alarm company. They said my fire alarm went off at my house and they sent the fire department because no one answered the phone when they called the house. My daughter was probably on the phone with me, I realize now, and she ignored call waiting. I said, “Please cancel the call, everything’s fine.” They asked my code word. I gave it. They said they’d try but unfortunately fire calls don’t usually get cancelled. My cell phone rang again. It was my fourteen year old. She said, “Mom, she is NEVER using the microwave again. There are five fire trucks outside the house.” I told her to send them away and apologize for the inconvenience. Later on, she said she makes the same Mac and Cheese all the time. I said, “You must have missed a step. That’s the only thing that could cause smoke enough to set off the alarm.” She thought a minute. “Oh! I know! I forgot to add water!”

Just another day in my house.

I love to be scared. Love that little frisson of sensation that makes goosebumps rise on my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I love the tension that makes me glance toward the door to make sure it’s locked, or prowl around in the house checking the windows after staying up until three a.m. to finish a really spooky novel. Love to close my eyes at night after I’ve watched something fiendish and terrifying, trying to wipe the images from my brain, but ultimately failing. My mind keeps shifting into overdrive as I imagine whatever story I was watching/reading…and mentally take it just one step further with my writer’s imagination.

The medium doesn’t really matter. I like ghost stories told by tour operators in New Orleans or Savannah. Episodes of “Most Haunted” or “Psychic Detective” on TV.
I can completely lose myself in a chilling book by Peter Straub or Stephen King. (King, IMO, is one of the greatest writers of our generation. That man knows how to put some words together, can I hear an amen!) And when it comes to movies, well, I’d rather watch The Sixth Sense over My Best Friend’s Wedding any day.

I guess that really hit home to me this past week when I evaluated my entertainment choices. I’d recently re-read Stephen King’s Dreamcatcher, so I was glued to it when it came on HBO the other night (as with most of King’s work, the movie translation just blew in comparison to the book….sigh…) In the past few days, I have sat with my hubby and kids and watched all three of the Final Destination DVD’s, with remote in hand so I could “choose the fate” of some characters using the special DVD-Rom features. (We saw the 3rd one at the movies opening weekend. I really think my husband and I were the only adults in the theater.)

I also did something I would never have imagined I’d do. I went with them to see Snakes On A Plane.

Now, for those of you who know me, I’m sure I don’t need to repeat this, but for my online friends who haven’t seen me flipping out at the very thought of a slithery reptile, let me make it clear: snakes are my number one phobia.

Yeah. Snakes. Phobia. As in utter and complete irrational terror when I see one. I thought they were going to have to call for an ambulance the night a tiny little baby one showed up inside my house. I kid you not, my daughter very casually said to my husband, “Uh, Dad, I think that’s a snake,” and I, without a single moment’s hesitation, leapt over the back of the couch and ran into the other room screaming. The thing was more like a worm with snake-like pretensions, but it still left me shaking in agony.

Yet I went to see Snakes on a Plane. And I loved every minute of it.

To be honest, I couldn’t understand why. I mean, of course, it has Samuel Jackson, and it has a rather clever storyline. And, as a writer, I just have to admire the balls on whatever guy went into a movie exec’s office to do his pitch and held his hands up in the air saying, “Picture this: Snakes. On a plane.”

A surefire hit.

But afterward, I had to stop and think about why it didn’t bother me. And when I put my finger on it, I realized the explanation is the same one for why I like Stephen King books so much more than Thomas Harris’s or James Patterson’s. Or why I can watch Alien or The Shining 948 times but could never EVER sit through one showing of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Saw.

You know the secret?

I like my terror completely out of the realm of possibility. Absolutely, never-in-a-million-years-could-this-happen.

If it had been one big fricking snake on a plane, I am quite sure I would have had to be carted out of the movie theater in a little red wagon full of shivering Leslie goo. But with 500 of the things? Impossible. Implausible. Utterly out-of-the-question ridiculous. And a-okay with me. I could let go of any last little remnant of realistic concern and just enjoy this crazy, terrifying ride for what it was. Pure entertainment. Pure Samuel-Jackson-Kicks-Snake-Butt excitement.

Same with vampires or ghosts. Clowns in sewers, zombies or aliens terrorizing kick-ass women of the future.
Poltergeists or werewolves or twenty-foot-tall spiders are a-okay with me.

Serial killers armed with chain saws? Not so much.

That, I realized, is my litmus test. If it could happen, I can’t take it. You won’t catch me voluntarily watching a movie about some twisted nutcase who abuses children. The all-men-are-scum movies on Lifetime freak me out a lot more than anything I could ever watch on the Sci Fi channel. Because when it comes to horror, I want my fiction to be completely fictional.

It’s called escapism. If I want to be terrified for my kids or worried about the security of those I love, I’ll turn on the damn news or open a dreary newspaper.

But when I just want to be scared out of my wits while knowing, in the reasonable, always-calm corner of my mind that everything’s fine and those I love are safe and sound, I’ll reach for the snakes on a plane or the aliens on a spaceship or the death-stalks-the-teenagers-who-thwarted-it any old time.

Because, in the end, I know that all’s right with the world and that my happily-ever-after reality is going to continue on just the way I like it.

It seems only right that the youngest of the bunch, the one who made all the rest of our birthdays extra special this year (and every year) gets her own special day – so we’re hijacking Janelle’s Sunday post (okay…scroll down and you’ll find her original post that lists the winner of her contest) and we’re HAVING A PARTY instead!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JANELLE!

We have something very special planned in your honor, but first we thought we’d talk a little about what you mean to us (us the Plotmonkeys and us the people lucky enough to call you our friend). In writing this, I found myself (Carly speaking here) going back to the very first Plotmonkey blog back in April. Leslie posted first, and here’s what she said about you (though not by name):

Another is the sensible one. Despite being wonderfully creative and imaginative in her writing, she can always cut through the nonsense and get right to the core of an issue, and, usually, come up with a solution. She’s a problem solver. She never gives up. She’s a voice of calm and reason but she never backs down from what she believes is right. I think of her as the mother of the group (even though she’s the youngest…)

Leslie’s right. (Julie here–see, Janelle, YOU’RE the momma! Okay, back to Carly… You’re sensible – to a fault. When I want to jump in with both feet, you hold me back. I hate you for it at the moment, but since I’m not writing three new books a year and I’m not doing paranormal romances in addition to sexy fun ones, I think I can look back and thank you for being the most rational plotmonkey around.

You’re not emotional – which makes you the perfect mother of the group. You know how to keep us in check when we all are having one emotional breakdown or another of some kind – and say exactly the right things at the right moment to pull us back from the edge.

You think things through first and act later. Again there are times I want to scream at you to REACT or to agree with me when I’m in one of my turmoil modes, but you hold the reins and make sure I think things through. Slowly. Take my time. And only then do you let me act. So if you tell me to act immediately, I always know I’m at an urgent moment, because YOU ARE THE THINKER and keep us on track. We love you for that!

Day or night, three hour time difference be damned, we all know you are here for us, 100% unconditionally. We love you for that!

So in honor of your birthday, we’re giving you hot, famous guys. OK some are clothed – Julie and I couldn’t figure out how to hunt down the naked ones without finding porn on the net. (However, Leslie did find the ultimate cake topper at the very end of the post!) So here are our hotties, from us to you, to do with what you will, all day long on your very special day!

We love you!

From Julie:

We each thought we’d gift you with our favorite hunky stars. From me, I give you Antonio Banderas, to take you dancing. And of course, if things get dangerous, I hope he’ll protect you and show you the same kind of ecstasy he’s experiencing with these big guns.

Next, I give you Eduardo Verastegui. In this picture, I think he’s camping. You all know that my equivalent of camping is a 2-star hotel with no room service, but I think for him, I might give roughing it a try. I hope you feel the same.

For some fun in the water, I gift you with Keanu Reeves and Matthew Maconaughey.

Or maybe you’d prefer a bike ride? Either guy will do!

From Carly:

We’re picking from our own personal preferences, lending you our dream guys for the day. So here’s a little Michael Vartan to stare at you with those dreamy baby blues.

And how could you resist lounging by the water with a view like this?

Maybe you can take another trip, virtual this time, to Vegas and hand out with hottie Josh Duhamel? Or lounging by the pool with Eddie

Oh! I’d love to send you many more…but I have a feeling this is going to be one busy birthday!

From Leslie:

Well, you know well who I am going to send you. He’s a versatile guy, good in the water or simply to stare at you dreamily, perhaps as you read him a hot passage from your latest book. He did, after all, play a romance writer in an early film!

Or how about a little Sawyer action? He can take me out on a kayak, raft or surfboard any day of the week. Oh, for Wednesday nights to start again!

And last, but not least, when your day is over and you have used up all these celebrities until they are nothing more than puddles at your feet, it’s time for a long, hot shower and then bed. How’s this for incentive?

Have a great day, Janelle!
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The winner of Friday’s Jungle Madness Contest is:

KATIE (Comment #37)

Congratulations, Katie! Be sure to email me with your full name and mailing address at: janelle@janelledenison.com so I can mail you your prize.

And now, for our Sunday funny . . .

Jennifer Yates asked: If you could describe yourself in three words, what would they be?

CP: Honest, loyal, emotional (in other words, part Golden Retriever/part Female) :doggie:

JEL: Wow, what am I then? Part pitbull? Nah, part chow. I love chows. I’d say determined, fiesty (I don’t know WHEN that descriptor got a bad rap) and loyal. Loyal is probably one all of us have in common.

LK: Strong. Impassioned. Loving.

JD: Sorry, Julie, but you’re definitely part Pitbull. Then again, you can also be as lovable as a Cocker Spaniel! Carly is definitely a Golden Retriever — she loves to roll over and have her belly rubbed , and Leslie is the “mother” of the group. As for me, I’d say I’m independent, laid-back, and yes, loyal, too. I think that’s why we’re all such good friends who can trust one another — loyalty is a necessity to any friendship. Oh, and I think I’m more cat than dog, LOL.

JEL: Janelle, exactly WHO was checking our plates in Atlanta to make sure we were eating our vegetables? It wasn’t Leslie. (She made sure we were having our wine!) She’s not the momma!

So, what three words would you use to describe yourself? And do you think your personality is suited more to a dog, or cat?

Yep, today is one of our (and yours!) favorite day of the week in the jungle.

This week, Janelle is giving away to one lucky winner a $25.00 gift card to Barnes & Noble. This gift card can be used online, or in the actual store. If you weren’t able to pick up the plotmonkey’s summer releases, here’s your chance to do it on me. If you’ve already read our fabulous stories, you might want to use the gift card to pick up Julie’s September release, DIRTY LITTLE LIES, as well as other romances you might have on your “to buy” list.

The winner will also receive a leopard print bookcover and a fun “book thong”. All you have to do to enter is post on today’s blog. Winner will be announced on Sunday, so be sure to stop by over the weekend to check and see if you’re the winner!

Along with soft rock, I’ve always enjoyed listening to country music. Some of my favorite artists to date are Toby Keith, Kenny Chesney, LeeAnne Rimes, and the timeless, ageless Reba McEntire. Then there is Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. Another duo that is a favorite of mine. Especially Tim McGraw, and his first big hit “Don’t Take The Girl”. When I saw that they were doing another “Soul 2 Soul” tour together this year, I considered buying tickets to see them in concert. By the time I started searching for those tickets, most of the really good seats were sold and the ones that weren’t cost a small fortune. So, I decided that maybe next time I’d try and get tickets earlier and put the whole thing out of my mind.

Until last week, when I received a call from my sister-in-law, Debbie (my husband’s only sister/sibling). Her husband, Kirk, has a friend who KNOWS Tim McGraw and is working with him on some movie deals. This friend, Mike (who I also know through Debbie and Kirk) was given four VIP tickets and passes for the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill concert at the Staples Center for this past Saturday. The three of them were going, and Debbie called to invite me as the fourth person. I was ECSTATIC.

I wasn’t certain what the VIP passes entailed, but soon found out. When we arrived, we were escorted backstage (very cool) and into a private area where the VIP party and pre-show was set up. American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson was there, too – and was very sweet and gracious to everyone who approached her. There was a huge buffet of food and an open bar, and after everyone had a chance to eat something, we were treated to a private acoustic performance by Tim and Faith. Wow. We were in the same room with them, only feet away as we watched them sing and banter with the small audience.

When that was over, it was time to take our seats – and we had absolutely no idea where our seats were! We walked into the sold-out stadium, which was filled to capacity with nearly 60,000 fans! It was incredible. Our seats, we soon discovered, were absolutely amazing. They were the second row back, which also put us next to one of the stage’s walking platforms that Tim and Faith used while singing, so they could approach the audience from different directions. A woman who was sitting next to me struck up a conversation before the show started and wanted to know how we came across the VIP passes. Once we told her, she admitted that she paid $550.00 for her one seat, without any VIP treatment. ::gulp:: I felt like we struck gold!

The concert started with Tim and Faith singing a duet together, which was fabulous – and the screams from the fans were deafening. And talk about two very beautiful people! Well, Faith is the beautiful one, and Tim McGraw is just downright sexy! Anyway, after that opening song, Faith Hill took the stage for well over an hour. She started out with “Mississippi Girl”, and went on to sing most of her #1 hits, such as “This Kiss”, “The Way You Love Me”, “Breathe”, and “The Lucky One”. She took time to banter with the crowd and even tossed out a scarf she was holding to a lucky fan who grabbed it. Faith was phenomenal, engaging, and larger than life.

While Faith got the crowd up and moving with her pop-songs and stellar vocals, the second half of the show, mainly Tim McGraw, literally brought the house down with his tight jeans, sex appeal, and his many country hits. He opened his act with “Real Good Man”, and I have to say that those lyrics (I might be a real bad boy, but baby I’m a real good man) is what epitomizes most of my heros. It’s a great song, and one of many that had the fans screaming and jumping up and down for more. He sang one of my all time favorites, “Don’t Take The Girl”, and by far the biggest cheers of the night came for one of his most loved songs, “Live Like You Were Dying”. We were also treated to a sneek peek of a movie he’ll be starring in this fall, “Flicka”, along with a song he wrote and recorded just for the movie, a sweet ballad called “My Little Girl”. A very fitting song, considering he has three daughters of his own.

In between his songs, he talked and joked with the crowd - - and during many of the songs he did sing he took the time to shake hands of the fans standing around the stage. My brother-in-law, Kirk, shook his hand, and Debbie grabbed his pant leg at one point. The two of us laughed that she could have just pulled him down onto her lap! As for me, I was too busy taking pictures, gawking, and trying to process the fact that Tim Mcgraw was only feet away from where I was standing.

The entire concert was three hours of non-stop songs, action, and interaction. Most of the time we were standing up on our feet, or dancing in front of our chairs. The evening ended when Faith and Tim returned to the stage for the last finale, “I Need You”, in which they sat in chairs facing each other, and sang to each other, then ended the night with a passionate kiss that reminded everyone that these two people were first and foremost husband and wife who truly loved one another. After a final wave and a thank you to the fans, they were escorted off the stage, leaving 60,000 attendees to slowly filter out of the stadium.

It was definitely a night to remember.

So, have you every had one of those “Once In A Lifetime” moments? If so, tell us about it!

Okay, first, I have to admit that I’m not big on gross-out stuff. I mean, yeah, I grew up with three brothers and seven cousins of the male persuasion…and each of my brothers always had at least two friends EACH at our house. I grew up entirely surrounded by testosterone–and yet, I hate bugs, snakes, spiders, farts, boogers, puke and all the other things that seem to drive boys crazy with glee. I was blessed with a female child, so I thought I was safe.

Ha!

Just last week, my agent sent me a box of books. Have I mentioned how I love my agent? One of those books was a children’s tome that she represented: THE MONSTROUS MEMOIRS OF A MIGHTY MCFEARLESS by Ahmet Zappa. First, isn’t that a great title? I love alliteration. And trust me, an alliterative title makes perfect sense for this book. It reflects the poetic quality of Ahmet Zappa’s writing. Assonance, too. He uses a lot of assonance. (For those of you who weren’t listening in your Freshman English classes…or don’t remember…assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds within words.)

Frankly, Zappa reminded me of Poe, just with a sense of humor. (I was going to say a “better sense of humor” but for as much as I love good old Edgar Allan, the boy didn’t know how to make a funny.)

Anyway, the book features a female protagonist, Minerva McFearless. She’s 11 years old and not only snarkily sarcastic, but incredibly brave. She and her 9 year old brother Max discover that they are the youngest in a long line of monsterterminators. When their father is monsternapped by the Big Bad, they team up with a monstrous talking book and a mysterious coyote to rescue their father and save the world from being overrun by monsterkind.

It’s a quick-paced monster of a tale…but it’s also gross. So gross, I laughed.

And that never happens.

I do not find this stuff funny. I’m a real snob when it comes to comedy. I can watch ANIMAL HOUSE with a completely straight face (most of the time.) AMERICAN PIE? Never have seen it. SOMETHING ABOUT MARY? Wouldn’t waste my time. But there’s something about disgusting kid humor that just totally cracks me up.

And as a mom, I appreciated that the book’s disgusting humor kept my very easily-scared child from getting scared.

Score, Zappa!

This weekend, we’re going to see HOW TO EAT FRIED WORMS. Normally, you would not catch me anywhere near a movie like that…I was totally grossed out by the trailer. However, my brother’s very good friend’s son, Austin Rogers, has a major role in the film.

Austin’s family bought out a theatre for a little home town premiere and we’re going. I would have been very wary about my nightmare-prone (yes, it’s inherited) daughter seeing this flick, but after reading Zappa, I think I’m comfortable that humor will cancel out the disgustingness. (And isn’t Austin a cutie?)

Anyway, that’s my hope. Humor + grossness = enjoyable experience for my child. Fingers crossed, people.

So, how do you feel about gross-out humor? Which movies and books stand out to you as worth the test of your gag reflex? Which movies make you laugh in spite of yourself?

I’ll report back next week on our experience…here’s hoping no worms were harmed in the making of the film, as they claim in the trailer.

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Oh! There’s a special treat up at my Marisela blog today. Do go and visit…or you can go directly to the SOURCE OF FUN right here.

I was lucky enough to meet Michelle Buonfiglio online when she invited me to participate in her blog, Romance Buy the Book a weekly, nationally-syndicated literary review of romance fiction. But that’s just the text book version of what Michelle does. The reason I’ve kept up with Michelle since then is because she is such a genuinely sweet, nice person who loves and promotes romance on a national scale. She feels like I do about the happy ending and thank goodness she does. I also discovered she likes to chat like I do and she spent years living in Holliston, MA where my husband grew up and near where my mother in law still lives. So we have a lot in common, including the enjoyment of looking at hot guys. I apologize to anyone who finds this superficial, but there you have it. And if you’re here at Plotmonkeys, you like it too. So let’s all welcome Michelle and thank her for supporting the genre we all love!

I’ve been so lucky to meet very cool people through what I do, and Carly Phillips -– who invited me to join you today — is one of them. She’s a fave of mine on and off the page, which is saying something because I read a lot of romance and e-meet a lot of people, especially authors and readers.

Since the column I write about the romance genre, Romance: B(u)y the Book, is syndicated over a network of 75 Internet TV news websites, my readers are really called “viewers.”

And my viewers are my friends.

I know it sounds pathetic, kind of a reverse Fangrl thing, but I really think of the women I interact with daily on Romance: By the Blog, and through email, as my girlfriends.

I’ll be making toast for my children and wonder, “Did Stacy find any new Nathan Kamp covers today?” Or be brushing my teeth in the morning and find myself laughing about some funny or vulnerable or touching thing someone wrote the night before.

Writing for the Internet has opened circles of e-friends to me. I like offering them a really safe, nurturing place to talk about romance, family, sexuality, and snaxy guys. And I appreciate how they overlook my quirks, like my current obsession with Italian World Cup soccer team captian, Fabio Cannavaro.

The best thing about e-girlfriends is that we’re close enough to make each other feel great every day, but there’s never a chance we’ll drop by each other’s homes unannounced and looking to borrow favorite jewelry or clothes.

What do your e-friends mean to you? How do you feel about being able to talk romance in safe places like Plot Monkeys and other romance blogs?
Click here to check out Michele’s amazing home on the web!