Plot Monkeys

I’m still in Florida, so I thought I’d leave you guys with an exclusive, Plotmonkeys-only excerpt of my new book SLOW HANDS.

The reviews have been great so far:

4 1/2 stars from Romantic Times
“Filled with humor and heart, Slow Hands (4.5), by Leslie Kelly, is a complete delight…. The cross-purpose conversations and situations that result are laugh-out-loud funny. The romantic entanglements are highly emotional, and the large cast is expertly handled.”

5 Stars and a “Recommended Read” from Missy at Fallen Angels Reviews
“Leslie Kelly…is a masterful storyteller and this book is one of her very best….. It’s so good to see Ms. Kelly writing Blazes again because this book is one of her hottest books to date. Jake is as sexy as sin and one that I wouldn’t mind running into one day soon, but also the most gentlemanly man I’ve read about in a while. I’m very anxious to see what this author can do with the next book in this series because the hero will have to be a very special guy to outshine Jake.”

I think you’ll like this one. Sure hope so!

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A bit of background…
Rich girl Madeline Turner has purchased a guy she thinks is a gigolo, to prevent her stepmother from cheating on her father. Determined to resist him, she’s soon worn down by his charm.

Paramedic Jake Wallace has no idea this sexy woman who bought him thinks he’s selling more than a single date. And by the time he figures it out…it’s far too late to get Maddy out of his heart. And his bed.

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Her place was unbelievably elegant. Dripping with expensive furnishings. Beautiful. Rich-looking.

And about as cold a room as he’d ever seen.

It was entirely suitable for the ice princess of the financial district. But not for the woman who’d grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him up against the wall of that pub to kiss the lips right off his face.

Maddy was watching him, having stepped inside ahead of him to punch a few buttons on a security alarm panel. There was a glimmer of hesitation in her expression, as if she really cared what he thought about her home. Why she’d care about the opinion of a blue-collar rescue worker, whose single piece of art in his apartment was a an eight-by-ten framed picture of a Dalmatian on a fire truck, he had no idea.

“Well?”

“Wow.”

She wrapped her arms around her waist and stared around the room, obviously noting his unenthusiastic response. “My sister decorated it for me,” she whispered. “I just don’t have the knack for that sort of thing. Or the vision.”

That figured. From what he’d heard so far, he had absolutely no interest in ever meeting the sister. Especially not if she envisioned this when she looked at Maddy, who she obviously did not really know at all.

“Great view,” he mumbled, meaning that. She did have an amazing view of the magnificently lit Chicago skyline. One entire wall of windows ran the width of the living room, laying out the city below as if he was looking at a galaxy of stars from above.

She perked up, smiling broadly. “Isn’t it? That’s why I bought it. Well, that and the bathroom.”

Bought it. She owned this icy masterpiece. Not her father, not her family. She didn’t just rent it. The woman he’d taken out for wings and beer had enough money to actually purchase a place like this.

He’d known that. Logically, he’d known. Still, the meaning of it had at last completely sunk in.

His feet suddenly felt leaden. For the first time since the moment they’d met, Jake felt the slightest bit intimidated. Uneasy at the stark, irrefutable evidence of how different they were.

There was no way he could keep up with this. Nor would he ever even want to try.

“What’s wrong?”

He threw off the momentary unease. Tomorrow maybe he’d think about how unsuited they were for one another. Tonight, well, they were perfectly suited in the only way that really mattered. He’d could definitely keep up with her in other ways.

Starting in her bedroom.

“Nothing.” He gave her a wolfish smile. “So where is this three-man bathtub?”

“Hey, none of that kinky stuff,” she reminded him with a saucy wink. Then she turned and sashayed down the hall, kicking her cute, strappy sandals off her feet mid-stride, as if not wanting to waste time once they reached the bed.

He followed, not in any hurry, because they had all night. But still unable to stop himself from lifting his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor with her shoes.

She led him into a darkened room, flipped on the light, and spun around to gauge his reaction. But when she saw him standing there in just his soft, low-slung jeans, she froze as if she’d never seen a man’s body before.

“Oh, my God.”

The sexy woman actually licked her lips while her gaze greedily roamed over his bare chest and shoulders. She looked even hungrier than she had when their waitress had deposited a pile of nachos in front of her tonight.

“I never imagined,” she whispered, lifting her hand toward him. She didn’t step closer, merely scraping the tip of one finger down his throat, until reaching the hollow of his throat. There it remained, connected by the tiniest strand of static-charged air to his raging pulse. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful man.”

Jake half-groaned and half-laughed.

“I mean it. You’re beautiful. You should be on display somewhere, dipped in bronze. You’re so hard, so strong.” She ran her hand down his chest, letting her pink-tinged nails rake lightly across his abs. She didn’t pause, caressing him until she reached the waistband of his jeans, which hung low on his hips. Visibly swallowing, she added, “Yet so lean too.”

“You’re killing me. You know this, right?”

She ignored him. “I’d pictured…when I went to the auction, I’d figured you’d be skinny. Elegant. Not…not like this.”

He barked a harsh laugh. Skinny he was not. And elegant he’d never even tried to be. “I work out sometimes. Not out of vanity, out of necessity.” There was no way Jake would put somebody’s life at risk by letting himself get too out of shape to do his job. He lifted gurneys–usually with heavy bodies on them–every single day. He squeezed into small spaces in collapsed buildings, he often hauled around some back-breakingly heavy equipment. Those things mattered–possibly mattered enough to be the difference between life and death to an injured person. Staying in top physical condition was an absolute requirement for his own safety and for his patients.

“Is it a necessity that your shoulders are as broad as my legs are long?”

He chuckled, glancing down at those delicate, sexy legs, in such perfect proportion to the rest of her, despite her claim that they were too short. “I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration.” Then he reached for her hips, cupped them and drew her close. “But I’m willing to examine them, up close and personal, just to make sure.”

“I’d hate to ask such a sacrifice of you.”

“What can I say? I’m a nice guy.”

Maddy, who’d been inching closer as they engaged in the light, verbal foreplay, tilted her head back and watch him intently. “You are, aren’t you.”

“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

She shook her head. “You’re a contradiction, that’s all. I don’t know that I understand you.”

“Understand this.” He said nothing more, bending down to cover her mouth with his. Slipping his hands into her hair to cup her head, he licked her lips, demanding access.

Maddy opened for him, her tongue meeting with his in a warm, slow exploration. Different from the crazy-hot kiss outside the pub. Different…but just as good.

Their bodies melted together in fluid grace, rather than heated, crazed grinding. Her softness cradled every hard place on him, molding to his chest, his groin, his thighs. Every delicate curve offered warmth and welcome and pure feminine invitation.

“Jake…” she whispered against his mouth, though he knew she had nothing to say. Nothing that really needed to be said.

They’d talked a lot since they’d met. Now it was time for their bodies to do all the communicating.

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This book won’t be in stores or at online retailers like Amazon until later this month, but if you just can’t wait and want it NOW you can get it right this minute from eHarlequin–at a discount! (And, like Amazon, they offer free shipping of orders over $25.)

And if you click the link below, it will take you to the eHq page where you can read an additional excerpt and “glance inside the book” a very cool new eHq feature.

Slow Hands Harlequin Blaze

The winner of Leslie’s Disney Jungle Madness Friday is…

TAMMY! Message # 27!

Congratulations!!! Please drop me a note at author@lesliekelly.com and give me your snail mail addy and let me know which book you’d like so I can get your prizes out to you.

And now, since the theme of this week’s contest is Disney, here are a few naughty Disney treats.

First, a link: WARNING: This is not kid safe. Not work safe. But oh, man, is Aladdin HOT or what?!? (And I love Prince Erik’s tattoo!)

When you’re finished drooling, feel free to come back for a completely irreverent list of what happened AFTER the happily ever after… (I’d love to credit this, but don’t know who wrote it!)

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THOSE DISNEY CHARACTERS?

We have all grown up knowing and loving the characters produced by Walt Disney and his successors at the Disney company. From Mickey Mouse to Aladdin, Disney has always given us something to laugh at, someone to cry for, something to hope for and a star to wish upon.

Now, however, is has been revealed that the stars of these memorable cartoons may not have been the paragons of hope and happiness we always thought they were. Here, for the first time ever, are the fates to have befallen many of your favorite Disney characters.

MICKEY MOUSE - died of venereal disease after visiting multiple prostitutes because Minnie said “No” for 50 years.

DONALD DUCK - served as a main course at Epcot’s China Pavilion.

PLUTO - caught by dogcatchers, put to sleep after he was never claimed.

GOOFY - assassinated during first term as President of the United States.

SCROOGE MCDUCK - died in extreme poverty after being audited by the IRS.

HUEY, DEWEY & LOUIE - involved in an underground child pornography ring.

SNOW WHITE - fell for the “apple trick” again.

DOPEY - ’nuff said.

SNEEZY - died of pneumonia with Jim Henson.

GRUMPY - executed after gunning down 15 people in a local McDonalds.

HAPPY - killed by insane gunman at a local McDonalds.

DOC - was sued for malpractice, lived the rest of his life living under bridges and eating out of used cat food cans.

SLEEPY - never woke up.

BASHFUL - now a stripper with the Chippendales.

MARY POPPINS - shot down over Iraqi airspace.

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN - male prostitute, died of a heroin overdose.

WINNIE THE POOH - had a heart attack caused by a cholesterol level of 570.

PIGLET - gunned down in a Mafia hit.

RABBIT - died of an aneurysm while watching over his garden.

EEYORE - committed suicide.

ROO - smothered to death by Kanga.

KANGA - put to death by the state.

TIGGER - accidentally bounced off the edge of a cliff.

ALICE (OF WONDERLAND) - institutionalized for life.

THE MAD HATTER - died of mercury poisoning.

DORMOUSE - drowned in a teapot.

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS - guillotined during the revolution.

TWEEDLEDEE & TWEEDLEDUM - died of excessive weight loss at a fat farm.

SLEEPING BEAUTY - slept until 1986, contracted AIDS from “Prince Charming.”

CINDERELLA - killed by stepsisters and stepmother in a jealous rage.

PINOCCHIO - is now a very comfortable Ottoman.

JIMINY CRICKET - died after impacting a windshield at high Speeds.

FIGARO - strung tightly on a Les Paul guitar.

DUMBO - sucked into the engine of a 747.

PETER PAN - Christopher Robin’s lover, committed suicide in despair.

TINKERBELL - caught by some kid who forgot to punch holes in the lid.

BAMBI - shot by NRA member with an AK-47. His body was never found.

BALOO - is now decorating the floor in front of a fireplace.

LADY & THE TRAMP - sold to a Cantonese restaurant.

101 DALMATIANS - sold to the Ringling Bros. Circus, were eaten by lions.

THE RESCUERS - involved in cancer research.

TRON - someone pulled the plug out by accident.

CAPTAIN EO - had a leak in his spacesuit.

JESSICA RABBIT - backup singer for Guns ‘N Roses.

THE LITTLE MERMAID - caught by Mrs. Paul’s Inc.

ALADDIN - was caught stealing one too many times, is now being traded nightly at Leavenworth for a pack of menthols.

I’m in Florida right now and at some point during this next week, I’ve promised the girls that we’ll do a Disney day. (Probably MGM because it’s their favorite.)

Anyway, I thought I’d do a little gift-by-request. Just leave a comment with your name and the name of your favorite Disney character–hero, heroine, princess, prince, villain, whatever. I’ll do my VERY best to pick up a little something with that character on it, and send it off to you, along with a book of your choice from my backlist.

Sound good?

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Okay, if you were around here this time last year, you probably heard all about how all of my girls are just like me…complete Broadway babies who love to perform.

Middle daughter’s play was this past weekend, and, of course, I have to let her shine in the spotlight again.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The girl can SING.

And what a very cute show! It was called Beehive and is all music from girl-groups and solists from the 60’s. From Leslie Gore (that’s who she’s playing) to the Supremes, the Chirelles, Patti Labelle & the Bluebells, Arethra Franklin, Cher, Tina Turner, etc. It was just such a fun time, I only wish there was more support for the arts in this area. The audiences were pretty good–probably the best I’ve seen in the shows that she’s done up here. But this was one show that I bet a lot of people who had no kids in that school would still have loved just because the music was so great, the costumes were so adorable, and it was so energetic. There were literally people dancing in the aisles–the cute little dancers went out into the audience and grabbed people to get up and join them in the Mashed Potato and the Twist. What a ball!

I find it really sad that, as I’ve watched my kids go through the public school system, the arts have gotten shoved further and further down the list of important things. I am an absolute believer that experiencing art through literature, music, dance, theater, is a mind broadening experience. It’s not a “useless” activity that takes up time that could be better spent learning one more algebraic equation. The arts sharpen the mind, enhance creativity, expand mental horizons, broaden world perspective, teach new ways of communication and encourage self-expression. To hear this week that once again my daughter’s school is taking a major hit (the cutting of the only high school music teacher to just half the year next year!) really breaks my heart.

I cannot help but hope that somebody will figure out a way to keep all kids advancing– which was the reasoning behind No Child Left Behind–that does NOT completely devalue and undermine every artistic element of public education.

Off my soapbox…

Anyway, here’s to you Beehive gang… Mrs. S., Mr. C., Scooter, Nora, Karen, Shayna, Sara, Jenna, Elaine, and everyone else. You were absolutely wonderful and I’ve loved getting to know all of you over the past two years. Thanks for a thoroughly entertaining weekend.

It’s mid-April and three things are on my mind.

First, foremost: the book. I know, I know, with writers there’s always a book. But I’m so tense about this one (my first dark romantic suspense from NAL) that I’m questioning myself the way I haven’t in a very long time. I have to turn it in next month, which is one reason you don’t see me a lot on here during the day. Being the complete internet-addict that I am, I simply cannot have the temptation during the work day. So it cuts out from 9-4, Monday through Friday. Amazing how much more productive my days are! I honestly would love to do a full week of cold turkey, no internet, no email, but I haven’t quite worked myself up to that.

The second thing on my mind: I’m on a diet. Again. Diet and I go way back. We’ve been friendly enemies since I hit puberty. I’ve blogged about this before, so I won’t go into it again. Suffice it to say, when I went to the dr last month, stood on the scale and saw a number I hadn’t seen since I was 9 months pregnant with my last child, I decided enough was enough.

One thing I have discovered: weight that used to fall off when I was in my twenties, is a whooooole lot more stubborn now that I’m in my forties. Seriously, I could go on Slim-Fast to lose a quick 5 pounds for an important event, and have it gone in a few days.
I’ve been on Weight Watchers for 3 weeks and have lost exactly 9 pounds.

I know, I know, slow and steady is the key, and that’s a really good start. But 7 of it came in week 1. The next two were ONE pound a week! With such a long way to go, I would have really liked to see things moving quicker. Fortunately, the whole family knows how hard I’m trying, and Bruce is actually trying to drop a few pounds himself so he’s cheering me on. Roxanne St. Claire gave me some great dieting advice, starting with watching The Biggest Loser, which I have found incredibly inspiring.

One way I’m making sure I lose weight is by moving more. And this past week, that involved moving in the garden (which I also blogged about.) So far, the experiment has been mixed. First, we tried to cultivate seeds in those little indoor greenhouse things.

They sprouted, they grew…they died. Everything except the green peppers. Seriously…EVERYTHING else died. And I have no idea why.

So, dead plants, empty garden, what to do? Well, Bruce and I went out and bought seedlings a couple of weeks ago, which we’ve been tenderly caring for until we were sure the weather would be okay. We have been busy preparing the ground for a couple of months, and finally this past Saturday, when it was in the 80’s, we put everything in. Considering we live in Mr. Slate’s quarry, and dug out cart after cart of rocks, that wasn’t as easy as it sounds. But eventually, we got it all done, put up fencing, carefully marked the rows, treated the seedlings like little babies, and smiled at the end of a long, weary day.

Then Sunday, the flood came and Noah forgot to swing by with the Ark. Good grief, talk about a deluge! It rained for hours…and hours…and hours. Our front yard had about a 3” deep lake. And our pretty garden, which we had fully intended to mulch the very next day, was a mudpile. Our seedlings were bent over in sheer exhaustion from the battering of rain, and big channels were washed down between them. I have no idea if the few seeds we did plant stayed in my own yard…if my neighbor suddenly starts seeing sunflowers popping up in his grass, I guess we’ll have our answer.

ARGH.

I didn’t cry, though, and I certainly didn’t give up. It’s finally cleared up, I’m getting ready to go out and give the plants some TLC then protect the whole bed with lots of mulch. I keep telling myself it’ll be worth it when I have lovely fresh veggies all summer and won’t have to pay absolutely ridiculous prices for shriveled up stuff at the grocery store.

Of course, we’re leaving for Florida next Wednesday and will be gone for a week. I somehow suspect not a single drop of rain will fall and we’ll come home to a barren desert. But I could just be a little pessimistic.

Oh, wait, there’s another thing on my mind. Dulcie. She’s 6 months old now and has suddenly decided not to sleep through the night anymore. She’s been wonderful about being in her crate since probably the 2nd night we had her, now all of a sudden she’s going nuts, waking up at all hours, yapping and just being a major PITA. Anybody have any advice on that?

So that’s four. What about you? What 4 things are you dealing with?

Wow, I can’t believe it’s our second anniversary! Plotmonkeys has become just such an integral part of my day that I feel like we’ve all been hanging out here a whole lot longer than that.

I really am proud of the community we’ve developed here. I feel like I know so many of you personally (and hope to one day meet you in person…San Francisco, anyone?) I also hope that people who stumble in feel comfortable enough to make a comment, say hello and stick around for a while!

My career has obviously changed a whole lot in the past two years. On the day Plotmonkeys launched, I was starry eyed and full of ambitions about my single-title contemporary romantic comedy career with HQN.

We all know how that turned out.

Now, I’m doing something I’d long fantasized about but had never imagined I’d get to do. I’m’ writing dark romantic thrillers, for a new publisher, ready to try to fly out of the nest and soar into new possibilities under a whole new name.

And all of you here in the Jungle helped me with that.

I’m not just talking about Julie, Janelle and Carly. Oh, they have been absolutely wonderful with helping me plot and hammer out these books (despite the fact that not one of them really likes to get bloody and gross…lol!) But you here in the jungle have been so supportive and helpful as well. You all gave me lots of commiseration and lots of suggestions when I hit that crossroads and had to decide where to go. And aside from all the “go you!” comments here, so many of you wrote to me privately–encouraging notes full of humor and warmth. Your enthusiasm and support lifted my spirits on some dark days, and I thank you for that, most sincerely.

I hope that coming here and seeing some familiar names and chatting the way we do about this and that has lifted yours on some dark days, too. And will continue to do so.

Happy Anniversary to all us Monkeys and Jungle Swingers!

Now for a special 2 year anniversary excerpt & prize:

My next two Blazes are coming out in June & July. They’re part of a collection called The Wrong Bed…Again And Again! and are about a mixup at a charity bachelor auction, where a blue-collar paramedic is mistaken for a sexy European gigolo. And vice versa. The books are lots of fun. The first one SLOW HANDS just got a lovely review, and 4 ½ stars, from Romantic Times. Check out the exclusive excerpt below!

So, I’m giving away TWO sets of BOTH books.

As soon as I receive my author copies of SLOW HANDS (probably the end of this month) I’ll send that, plus a printed-out advance reader copy of HEATED RUSH. So you’ll have one “real” book and one printed ARC.

Okay?

You know what to do…just leave a comment. Maybe tell me some of your favorite moments in the past two years, or one way swinging through the jungle has helped you on some down days.

Thanks. We really appreciate you being here.

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And Now: An Exclusive, Plotmonkeys-only excerpt from SLOW HANDS. Enjoy!

“Oh, hell,” she whispered, knowing who was standing right outside her door. Only one man she’d met recently was capable of sucking every brain cell from a woman’s head within two minutes of meeting her.

Considering she’d dreamt about him for the past two nights–hot, Grey’s Anatomy inspired dreams of her being the filling in a triple decker McSteamy, McDreamy and McGigolo sandwich–she should be feeling Mcpanicked and Mccornered. He’d almost surely be able to read her guilty embarrassment on her face the moment he spotted her.

Somehow, though, she could only muster anticipatory and excited. And knew that all he’d see on her face was interest and admiration that he’d tracked her down–and sought her out–so quickly.

“Show him in,” she murmured, knowing she had about thirty seconds, the time it would take Ella to walk out and Number Nineteen to walk in. Just enough time to touch her hair, smooth her blouse and cross her legs.

(more…

I need to do some research. In my fantasies, that research looks something like this…

Don’t I wish.

Seriously, I do have to write a novella set in a “foreign, tropical location” for a super sizzling summer (say that three times fast) novella collection for Harlequin. Should be fun, only, I haven’t been to too many foreign, tropical locations.

I’ve been to exactly three Caribbean islands…not one of them more recently than ten years ago. And I’ve been to several U.S. states, but not Hawaii. Canada and Ireland aren’t exactly tropical and they’re the only foreign countries I’ve been in.

So I have to use my imagination.

I’d rather go on a research trip. Here’s where I’m thinking:

This island is called Petite St. Vincent. It’s a tiny little place off the coast of Barbados and to get to it, you have to fly to Barbados, then take a puddle-jumper to Union Island, then take a boat to Petite St. Vincent. The entire island is filled with one resort. One super exclusive, $810 a night resort, with approximately 30 individual cottages circling the island.

Every one has a private beach. There are no TV’s, no radios, no computers, no phones. If you want room services, you run up a flag. If you want utter privacy, you run up a flag. If you like to sleep with the breeze blowing over you, you leave your walls open like this…

Now, doesn’t that sound like utter heaven? Just the idea of a week away from phones and TV’s and the internet sounds like vacation enough. But put it on a tropical island with the bluest water I’ve ever seen, absolute luxury pampering by the staff who outnumber the customers 2-to-1, gourmet meals. Sounds like heaven on earth, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately, to spend a week there would cost more than I’m going to make on this entire novella. So I guess I’m going to have to keep dreaming and use my imagination.

As for the setting of my story? I’m thinking St. Lucia. What a wonderful time Bruce and I had there so many years ago…

We didn’t exactly have a private beach or an entire island almost to ourselves, but it was still lovely. Lovely enough to set a story there, I’m thinking. About a female bartender from the states who’s dropped out of the world…a sexy tourist who’s not what he seems…hmm, I’m getting the picture here!

So what about you? Any alternative suggestions? What’s the most fabulous tropical vacation you’ve ever taken…or what’s your dream one?

The winner of Leslie’s Jungle Madness Friday is…

CAROLYN A. Message # 5

Congrats Carolyn! Drop me a line at author@lesliekelly.com with your addy so I can get your prizes right out to you.

And now, a funny joke my s-i-l sent me.

Enjoy!

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Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!” and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”

I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you. But the kids… They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, “Good Morning Boss. And, by the way, Happy Birthday!” I felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday. What do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.”

I said, “Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch, but we didn’t go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each, and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?”

I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?”

She said, “Let’s drop by my apartment. It’s just around the corner.”

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok,” I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake… followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday.”

And I just sat there… On the couch… Naked.

Carly’s having a fabulous time in Phoenix, so we switched contest weeks this month.

I’ve been putting together some Advance Reader Copies of my next book, SLOW HANDS, coming from Blaze in June.

Thought I’d offer one more here.

And since this book features a wonderfully warm, funny and sexy all-American rescue worker hero, thought somebody might enjoy this too:

You know what to do! Just leave a comment and you’re entered for the ARC and the FDNY 2008 Calendar!

First of all…HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY! Hope nobody “gets” you too badly today.

Now, has this ever happened to you? You’re reading along in a great book, about a strong-willed, red-haired, green-eyed heroine and a powerfully built black-haired Lord. It’s the middle of a love scene, he’s kissing her sweet-scented skin, scraping his lips across the tender nape of her neck, and burying his face in her…blond curls?

Oops.

Mistakes. They happen. And believe me, I’ve had my share. It’s enough to make you just want to sink into the floor when you realize that despite your very best efforts and all your hard work, you let your work leave your hands without noticing some minor little thing that will seem MAJOR when you get the book and glance over it a few months later.

I mention this because I just realized I did something stupid in my July book, HEATED RUSH. There’s a scene where the hero rents a convertible to drive the heroine out to her folks’ house, and throughout the drive, the crated cat is lying on the back seat. Then, a few chapters later, when the heroine’s brother wants to ride with them, he can’t because…the car has no back seat! ARGH! I can’t believe I did it. Despite having a great editor and great copy & line editors, sometimes these things get through and the buck stops with me–I was at fault.

Sometimes this type of thing can be changed in time–this particular thing couldn’t. But something else pretty important about that book could.

I wrote this book several months after I’d done the “art fact sheet” for Harlequin. The art department uses that information to create the cover art. Well, obviously, between the time when I filled out that sheet and when I actually wrote the book, I had a very serious change in character description. Because while I originally wrote this:

But he doubted it. Judging by her soft yellow dress, the simple hairstyle–long and silky-straight, pulled back in a glittery clip–and her minimal jewelry, he suspected she was much more natural than that.

About a month ago, I got the cover art, and it looked like this (I left it huge so you can see what I’m talking about):

Uh…you see the problem? (Other than the chick’s flesh-belly colored upper thigh…ugh) Her hair isn’t exactly long and straight! Fortunately, I got this cover about one day before my final “galleys” were due. Meaning I had one day to race through them, find every mention of the heroine’s hair and change it to, oh, say, something like this;

But he doubted it. Judging by her soft, silky yellow dress, the simple hairstyle–short, straight, pulled back in a glittery headband–and her minimal jewelry, he suspected she was much more natural than that.

Whew! Bullet dodged. I mean, that one would be hard to overlook. Even harder than the hero’s short brownish hair when, in that same book, here’s what he looks like:

His lips were slightly pursed in a sexy, come-hither smile that no real man could pull off and still look so damned masculine. The sleekness of his thick, nearly jet black hair–long, silky and tied back in a ponytail–and the violet glint in those fathomless blue eyes simply had to be the product of a photographer with the latest Photoshop software.

Okay, this one I did NOT mess up in the art fact sheet. Sean Murphy’s had long, silky, jet-black hair since I first wrote about him in ONE WILD WEDDING NIGHT. (He was the gigolo in the middle story, Three-Way.)

But some things just don’t happen on covers. You’ll rarely see a red-haired hero, even if he has red hair in the book. Ditto the long hair like Sean’s. Or a beard. I guess publishers know what sells and what doesn’t, so even if you describe your characters that way, you’re not likely to see them on your cover.

I think readers are used to that, however, and are perhaps a little more forgiving about the hero’s hair. But the long-haired heroine having a bob? Good grief! I am SO glad I noticed and was able to fix it before I got a bunch of emails telling me about my big mistake. You think I wouldn’t have? Oh boy. Believe me, when we authors mess something up, we hear about it. As if we didn’t feel bad enough already, we get reminded of our mistake again and again.

It’s amazing how easy it is to do. With me, the mistakes always happen on revisions. When I go and change something and think I’ve got it fixed throughout the book, but invariably missed something. Like the car. I’d written everything, then realized the heroine couldn’t very well leave her cat at home unattended, so they’d have to take him. Only, I didn’t fix the backseat reference! In my book KILLING TIME–I originally had a character drop a gun she’d been holding. Later in the book, I changed it so the person took it…but forgot at one tiny little place to remove the mention of the hero hearing the gun drop to the desk! And in that same book, I had the hero taking the heroine’s shirt off twice during a love scene. I console myself by saying she was layering.

I’ve also made a deliberate boo-boo here and there. Those of you who’ve read my Santoris of Chicago books probably never even noticed that in BEHIND THE RED DOORS, the twins, Mark and Nick, are switched. Mark is the Marine, Nick is the cop. The thing is, DON’T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS came immediately after SHE’S GOT THE LOOK–with the hero named Nick! I didn’t want to write to Nicks in a row, it would seriously have messed with my head. And I didn’t want readers to read two Nicks in a row. So I fudged a teeny bit. And you know, that’s one thing I’ve never gotten letters on!

It happens to everyone–even the “biggies.” I once read a Susan Elizabeth Phillips book where a character’s sandwich changes from grilled chicken to tuna a few times in one scene. And even in movies & on TV. I was watching one of my fave shows, Reaper, the other night, and there was a scene where the young hero is standing outside someone’s door with his jacket flung over his shoulder. Then it’s down over his arm. Then it’s over his shoulder. Then it’s over his arm…rinse, repeat. It was just bad editing. And it happens to the best of us.

So what about you? Ever realized too late that you missed something and wish you could fix it? Or ever noticed a boo boo in a book you’ve been reading? Do tell! But only here…because believe me, I’m sure the author already knows about it!