Plot Monkeys

I’m baaaaaack! Not full time, but enough to post my contest and update you all on my recovery.

Two weeks ago today, I had a hysterectomy. Not something I wanted to do, but I’ve suffered from uterine fibroids for quite some time. For a while, they were fairly asymptomatic, but in the last two years, that changed. I had to do something I was utterly terrified of doing–go under anesthetic. I’d never done that before! I was even awake for my daughter’s c-section. But I’d put this off long enough and I am on the mend. Still very sore and very tired and spending more time sitting than I did even when on a tight deadline! A little stir crazy, but that goes with the territory. I really appreciate all the good wishes I’ve received both here on the blog and via private email. You guys make me feel so loved and so special. THANK YOU!

Last Sunday was my birthday and I was Queen for a Day. I want to share that title with one of you, through these adorable Queen for a Day chocolates from my favorite gift site, Red Envelope. You know what to do!

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From Carly: Visit me today at: Running with Quills where I have a playdate at another blog! Oh … there’s a giveaway!

How many of you have been suffering without your SoapBox Queen fix this week with their server down? I know I have! So I asked Queen Vicki, who has a book out this month, to come over and guest blog on a topic I just adore! Thanks, Vicki, for joining us in the jungle today!

BREAKING UP WITH YOUR STYLIST IS HARD TO DO

Hey, Plot Monkeys and jungle dwellers! It’s great to be back, and thanks for inviting me!

I love writing fiction because I get to make stuff up. In my past lives I’ve been a high school English teacher and a journalist. Trust me, neither my principal nor my editor wanted me making stuff up.

Fast forward to today, where I’m not only making stuff up, I’m pretending there are witches, wizards, dragons, and a lake monster, all living in an Indiana town called Big Knob, a town I created OUT OF THIN AIR. I’m coaxing people to come visit a place that doesn’t exist except in my mind and the pages of the hex series. Miracle of miracles, they’re going along with it! Plug: WILD & HEXY is out now.

When I built Big Knob, I had to decide what a small town, Pop. 949, would have in it. The Bob and Weave Hair Salon went up immediately. Duh. Gotta have it. It’s a lot like the salon I left when I realized I’d never get a different hairstyle if I stayed with that stylist, and Lord knows you can’t switch stylists in a salon. It just isn’t done, or at least not by me, the super-sensitive one.

Leaving that stylist was traumatic. I couldn’t face her in person or even on the phone, but I couldn’t just drop her like I didn’t care. I mean, I knew all about her kid, her two marriages, her mother, her dog, for God’s sake. So I wrote her a letter. Who knows what she thought of that.

I created a new stylist relationship and got a new hairstyle, and for now, I like it. I’ve been with this stylist for eight years, and I was with the other one for fourteen. Breaking up with a stylist can be worse than breaking up with a boyfriend.

Recently my new-ish stylist gave me a scare. The salon called and said “Jill doesn’t work here anymore.” Just like that. Gone. Fortunately I have a mole in the salon who slipped me Jill’s new location, and next week I’ll be beating feet to that salon. I’m not ready to break up yet.

What are your hair issues? Do you have a long relationship with a stylist, or do you take whoever’s available to cut (and maybe color – yikes) your hair? Can you switch stylists in a salon and not feel guilty?

I do remember the first time I met Jessica Andersen. It was many moons ago and I was flying into Boston to attend the RWA chapter’s conference in Natick. I was flying in at the same time as my editor, Brenda Chin, so she arranged for us to meet up and the nice person from the conference who was going to pick her up would take me along for the ride. That very nice person was Jessica Andersen! She was so funny and accommodating and SMART, I just knew she’d sell very soon. I wasn’t wrong. She soon sold to Harlequin Intrigue and her books ROCK. She’s now launching a brand new paranormal series and she’s here today, thanks to Carly, to tell us about how she built that world. I, for one, am fascinating. Over time, I’ve found that worldbuilding is not something only done by fantasy and paranormal writers. Every writer can benefit from the techniques, particularly when they are creating a series. Thanks, Jessica, for sharing your knowledge and your Saturday with us!

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From Atlantis to the Mayan Pyramids: Piecing Together a World

Hey Plotmonkeys! Welcome to my world… or rather a discussion of how I went from an idea to the universe that became Nightkeepers.

The ancient Mayan Long Count calendar ends on December 21, 2012. On that day, the sun, moon and earth will align at the galactic center, in a conjunction that scientists predict could trigger cataclysmic upheavals (sun spots, magnetic reversals, etc.). My new series, the Novels of the Final Prophecy, tell of the ancient Mayan myths that come to life in the last four years before 12/21/2012, and their opposition by the Nightkeepers, who are the modern-day descendants of an ancient magic-wielding race sworn to protect mankind from the apocalypse.

In the first book, Nightkeepers, the last king of the magi is forced to team up with a sexy Miami-Dade narcotics detective in order to reunite his scattered warriors and fight the gods of the Mayan underworld. Wielding ancestral magic based on bloodletting and sex, the king will have to choose between his duty and his love for the human woman who is the gods’ destined sacrifice.

Okay, so that’s the blurb. Seems simple, right? Wrong! It took me nearly eighteen months of research, writing and rewriting before I could hammer out a workable proposal, partly because it was a big-a$$ed idea, and partly because it wasn’t a mythology that’s really been done in-depth before within the genre (to my knowledge, anyway), so there weren’t any shortcuts. I mean, you say ‘vampire’ or ‘werewolf’ and you’ve got a common starting point for reader expectation, right? Not so much in this case. I built this sucker from scratch.

In the process of constructing the Nightkeepers’ world, I eventually realized I was using five major questions that are actually applicable to most story types, not just paranormals. They have to do with the way a reader is introduced to the world. . . and I think it’s important to remember that every story involves worldbuilding. Regardless of whether you’re writing an historical, a contemporary, an urban fantasy, or whatever, your reader needs to be grounded in the sights, sounds and smells that the characters experience. And that means building a world around them. So let’s look at the questions I leaned on when writing Nightkeepers:

Question 1: What major facts underpin the world?

Do dragons exist in your world? Is it set far into the future? Is it placed at a beach house on Cape Cod? What are some rock-solid facts about the world that shape everything within it? In my case, I had two major facts that informed my world:

Fact #1: On December 21, 2012, the sun, earth and moon will align in the precise center of the Milky Way galaxy, and scientists think this conjunction could precipitate some potentially catastrophic global events.

Fact #2: The five-thousand-year-long cycle of the ancient Mayan Long Count Calendar ends on that day, and some people speculate that this could signal the end of life as we know it.

Now, I’m a huge disaster movie fan, and I love it when a larger-than-life, super-sexy hero steps in to save the day. So I asked myself, if the end date does, indeed, signify the coming of doomsday, who is going to save the world?

Enter the Nightkeepers, a group of magi sworn to avert the 2012 apocalypse.

Question 2: What are some minor facts that inform the world?

Next, I sat down to really research the ancient Mayans and the rules of their world. I identified a number of details I wanted to include in the stories, including the characteristics of the Mayan underworld, Xibalba, and their gods and myths. In particular, I was fascinated with how they worshipped their dead ancestors as being next to the gods, and how there were two main ways for the ancient Mayans to talk to the gods: a near-death experience. . . or an orgasm. Hello paranormal romance!

Now the world was starting to take shape: the Nightkeepers are magi who draw their powers in a manner similar to the rites of the ancient Mayans, and for whom lovemaking is a way to access additional strength. However, they’re modern men and women, too, which means the needs of the rituals (blood sacrifice, sex) often conflict with their modern-day ethics and expectations.

Question 3: Are there any cool controversies?

Once I had the nature of my magi established, I looked to add interesting layers to their world. To do this, I searched for debates or controversies surrounding the ancient Mayans and the 2012 end date. I found several that added the potential for cool conflicts and backstory.

Debate # 1: Is the end date a transition to more global consciousness or Armageddon?
There is a great deal of debate over what the ancient Mayans actually thought might happen on 12/21/2012 (if anything). This has spilled over into modern day, with a large number of spiritualists believing that the end date actually signals a shift to an age of enlightenment rather than a planet-wide catastrophe.

Debate # 2: Could the Mayan shaman-priests tell the future? Numerous small horoscope-like prophecies exist within the three interrelated calendars of the ancient Mayans, many of which can be interpreted as having come true. The idea of a life shaped by culture and myth interested me, as did thinking about how my modern-day magi would deal with having their lives ruled by thousand year-old prophecies.

Debate # 3: Were the ancient Mayans somehow influenced by other, distant cultures? Back in college, I took a course on pseudoscience, which is basically the use of scientific methods to argue in favor of things like Bigfoot and Atlantis. The class included studying von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods?, which argues in part that the ancient Egyptians and Mayans were influenced by alien cultures, based on (among other things) hieroglyphs that appear to show humans sitting inside space capsules. And while there isn’t much evidence in favor of the alien thing (yet, anyway), there are certainly parallels between the ancient Egyptians and Mayans, and among other cultures worldwide throughout history, which I think is wicked cool. Which leads me to the next question…

Question #4: Where will the world deviate from the historical record?

My amazing editor, Kara Cesare, made the point that romance readers, especially those who are likely to be drawn to a book like Nightkeepers, are some of the smartest, most discriminating fans out there. As such, she warned, I’d better keep my facts straight and either get them right, or have a good reason for getting them wrong.

For the most part I stuck pretty close to the historical record, but there was one critical point where I did not, namely the physical appearance of the Nightkeepers. The magi have fiercely territorial natures and a protective streak a mile wide. . . and they look like modern Anglo-type humans, only bigger and more charismatic. In addition, some of the spell words and rituals they use are, by necessity, a mix of ancient and modern Mayan languages, with a hint of Egyptian and Hopi mythology thrown into the mix. So how does that compute?

Question #5: How can I rationally explain the deviations?

The answer lies in the answers to the questions above.

The first fact is the astral conjunction that will occur in 2012. The last time this conjunction occurred was in 24,000 B.C., and geological record suggests that there were some serious global upheavals around that time. Some pseudoscientists even point to the conjunction having triggered the sinking of. . . you guessed it. Atlantis.

Logically, then, I could craft a world in which the conjunction looses demons on the earth and sinks the advanced civilization of Atlantis. A few of the Atlantean magi survive, however, and drive the demons back behind the energy barrier that powers their magic. Then they vow to sustain their culture and magic until the next such conjunction, twenty six thousand years later, on 12/21/2012.

Over those millennia, they live with the ancient Egyptians, teaching them writing and science. When Akhenaten turns the kingdom of Egypt monotheistic and slaughters the priests of the old religion, the surviving magi cross the ocean and wind up in Central America, where they begin living with the Olmec and repeat the process, boostrapping the indigenous peoples into what becomes the Mayan Empire. When the Conquistadors and their missionaries once again drive the Nightkeepers from their homes, they take refuge with the Hopi, and eventually become assimilated into the developing US of A.

Thus emerged the picture of a group of magi who have been driven from their homes several times throughout their history, and who have been persecuted because of their polytheistic belief system. This persecution eventually drives them underground, until the Nightkeeper children are raised in secret, their powers known only to their blood-bound protectors, the winikin. And now, in 2008, the calls are going out, and the Nightkeepers are being reassembled as the barrier between the earth and underworld weakens in the years leading up to 2012.

In conclusion

Bringing this back to the more general sense, hoping to help you look at your own story in a bit of a new light, I think at least the first three questions could apply to worldbuilding in any genre. In addition, I’d argue that the fourth and fifth do, as well, if we replace the word ‘history’ with ‘expected’… and that in deviating from the expected, a writer will make her story far more interesting.

An historical writer might choose to use revisionist history, or think up an interesting explanation for why an anachronism works. A contemporary writer might change a fact or perception of our ‘real’ world. This is perhaps less concrete for a science fiction/fantasy/paranormal writer, who is generally making up his/her own world, yet there needs to be internal consistency.

Overall the upshot (for me, at least), and the biggest thing I learned while reading Nightkeepers is that romance readers are very smart, and they hate illogic. At the same time, they hate predictability. So the take home for writers as I see it? DO SOMETHING UNEXPECTED… BUT ONLY IF IT MAKES SENSE!

And, as always, have fun with it. I know I do!
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Julie here again…do go check out Jessica’s website. It’s about the coolest website I’ve seen in a very long time!

I know a lot of you don’t watch television. I am addicted to Charmed and I’m now re-visiting my love of Star Trek: Voyager, which is now in reruns on Spike. Project Runway will be starting soon and I have been known to Tivo both Gordon Ramsay’s KITCHEN NIGHTMARES and Anthony Bourdain’s NO RESERVATIONS, because I’m a foodie and I find both of these men compelling. (Which is a fancy word for hot, but since neither of these guys are traditional hotties, we won’t go there. Although, what exactly is HOTTER than a man who can cook and funny, too?)

Since I do Tivo quite a bit, I don’t watch a lot of commercials. But this Domino’s ad has thoroughly perplexed me since the first time I saw it. What, exactly, is the point? The girl is cute, but emotionless…and they just blew up her car. Is this supposed to be funny? If so…how? I mean, violence against delivery people is all over the news. How is this at all funny? Or am I just taking it too seriously?

Humor is so subjective. Here’s a commercial I really find funny…

Where do you get your humor? When you need a good laugh, what do you do?

If I want it in book form, I’m going to pick up a Stephanie Bond book. She always totally cracks me up. (Leslie cracks me up, too, of course, but I’ve read all her books!) If I want to watch television, I scour the channels for a rerun of Will & Grace. Funniest. Show. Ever. If can’t find W&G, then I’ll watch Friends or Seinfeld. If it’s a movie, my standby is Arthur. (I just watched the movie trailer while looking for links…I still die laughing.)

I know humor is in the eye of the beholder, but let’s talk about funny things.

So…tell me…what’s the funniest book you’ve read recently?
The funniest television show?
The funniest movie?
The funniest commercial?
The funniest joke?

Feel free to share!

QUICK NOTE: Janelle will be blogging at Riding With the Top Down today, (and giving away a copy of WILD FOR HIM), so if you get the chance, stop by and say hello!

Edited to add…KarenB reminded me of MY FAVORITE COMMERCIAL. Not necessarily for laughter, though it is funny!

Yes, she’s so fabulous, we had to have her TWICE. Her topic today, networking, is one we’ve discussed a bit before, so I’m so happy to have her here again. Thanks, Brenda, for blogging with the Plotmonkeys again!
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Does networking really benefit a writer’s career? Or is it (and its sister—promotion) not worth the hassle for either the published or unpublished? Should we just sit back and write the best books we can write and let the publisher take it from there?

This has been a heavily debated topic since I started my writing career ten years ago. At the beginning, there were more people saying you couldn’t impact sales, but that opinion seems to be changing. In this competitive of a market place, where so many are turning out quality fiction, it’s very difficult to set yourself apart, to get noticed. But it’s still possible, and one of the most effective methods is networking. Why? It’s a mathematical certainty that the whole is always greater than its individual parts. I can’t know everyone or everything, but when I link up with others, who link up with others, etc., we create something bigger than ourselves. Take this blog, for instance. Look at the wealth of information shared here. Participating here and getting to know the authors is networking.

In this industry, we rely very heavily on word-of-mouth. Our careers depend on people. Editors buy our books. Sometimes other authors endorse them. The marketing force sells them. Booksellers buy them and try to present them to the public in a pleasing way. Readers buy them and recommend them if they’re good. The common denominator in every step is people—not just the actual work. So you have to be more than a good writer. You have to have business acumen—or at least an eye for opportunity and what I call “credibility.”

Consider how you choose the movies you watch and the other products you buy. There are certain indicators we all use to insure we get good value for our money, isn’t there? For instance, an editor wants the best possible chance at finding a manuscript worthy of being published–and she wants to find that gem with the least amount of time and effort. To do that, she would use the same indicators as the rest of us:

-> Who created it?
-> Are they experienced? Reputable?
-> Does it sound intriguing?
-> Do I have reason to believe this person will be able to finish the book and/or write another one?
-> What are others saying about this work or this writer?

Editors are human and would react very similarly to the way you’d react in the same situation. So market your product in such a way that those answers work in your favor, that all indicators are telling her, “Give this a chance—it’s great!”

A lot of people talk about schmoozing, but for me that term has a very negative connotation, a selfish one. “What’s in it for me?” Networking isn’t about one-way relationships. It’s not about shaking hands and passing out bookmarks. It’s about symbiotic relationships. It’s about giving something to others, who in turn give something to you. If that’s between an author and reader—the author gives a great story, a good read, and the reader compensates by paying for that story and recommending it to her friends. Both people win. That’s really the only way networking is successful, because networking functions on basic psychology principles. People act out of self-interest far more often than they act out of public virtue. Which means, in order to be a good networker, you need to realize that you’re not the only one who deserves to succeed. There are other people in the world who have the same right to fulfill their goals and desires.

Networking is about helping them do that–and having them, in turn, help you. I think Deepak Chopra said it simplest: “Positive energy going out comes back.”
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To enjoy a summer of suspense from award-winning, best-selling, Brenda Novak, click here!

Let me just say up front that I don’t know what we would do without cell phones. Or at least, I don’t know what I would do without my cell phone, other than go crazy. During the weekdays, I have my cell on me pretty much 24/7. Literally, it is with me when I sleep because I use the alarm function to wake me up in the morning. When I wake up at around 4am (I always wake up around then) I actually take the cell off the bedstand and shove it under my pillow so alarm will wake me up, but won’t cause my husband to have to peel me off the ceiling. I grab it on my way to wake up my daughter and shove it in my purse, so it’s pretty much on me where ever I go.

On the weekends, however, I’m not so vigilant. I often leave it on the bedstand because I sleep in and my daughter usually wakes up before I do. My cell phone is mainly with me so that no matter where I go, my child can get in touch with me. On the weekends, she’s pretty much with me all the time, so the phone gets forgotten.

I’m going to try and change that after Memorial Day!

So, my husband was mowing the lawn and I was getting ready to start the grill when I realized that we were out of propane. He went into the garage and grabbed the empty tank (which we will not have soon…June 1 means the start of hurricane season, which means two propane tanks at full for the duration) and put it in my car and gave me directions to the Circle K where he buys the gas.

In a hurry, I went inside, turned off the oil I had heating to saute the mushrooms and shot out the door to get the gas so we could eat before 9pm (it was already 8pm, later than usual.)

I had the tank exchanged for a full one…no problem. But as I’m driving home, my attention is drawn to the side of the road where a white Camaro (or some such car) is parked in a lot of a day care and a man and woman (I so want to say boy and girl, but they were older…just not nearly as old as me!) Late teens, early 20’s. They’re fighting. He has his hands on her.

Alarm bells go off in my head.

So what do I do? Double back, of course.

I cruised by and they are shouting and angry, but he’s not touching her anymore. I notice there is a third person with them, but he (judging by the hairy leg) is in the backseat of the car and not getting involved. I think, maybe, this is just a little lover’s spat, but damn, cars are slowing down all around me.

I notice another blue SUV doing the same loop as I am. I decide to grab my phone in case I need to call 911…only it’s not in my purse.

Ugh.

I circle around one more time…she’s calmly walking away. Shew! She’s okay. She has her purse and she’s heading toward a convenience store. I’m thinking, surely, she’ll pull out her cell phone and call someone else for a ride, right? But she never does…and as I’m turning around and thinking I can go home soon, I see the guy take off after her and grab her arm.

Jerk.

I’m too far away now to do much, but the other SUV pulls up beside me and the guy in the passenger seat asks if I’d seen what he’d seen. I said yes, then told him and the female driver that I’d left my cell phone…could they call 911? They didn’t have a chance to answer before the light we were at changed, so I decided that if this were my daughter and she was in a fight on the side of the road with a guy who was manhandling her, I’d want some kind stranger to make sure I was okay.

But I was alone, with no phone and the guy was way bigger than me and probably drunk.

Luckily, my cousin lived a few blocks away. I drove to her house and called 911 and then her husband and I went back to see what was going on. The blue SUV was still circling around (this was a very busy street and not easy to do) when two patrol cars showed up. My cousin’s husband and I drove around one more time and watched the deputy start giving the guy what looked like a sobriety test. I’m not sure, but I knew, at the very least, the girl was safe.

I dropped my cousin’s husband off at his house and then started home when I remembered something…I’d left a pot on the stove.

Yes, I’d turned off the oil, but I’d left a pot of water on for steaming the beans. And you know that when you steam, you don’t put a lot of water in the pot. My daughter was in the house alone, enraptured by her Wii…would she notice if the pot started to smoke? Would she go outside and get her father or try to do something herself and end up hurting herself?

AND I HAD NO CELL PHONE!!!

I’ll admit right here that I drove like a maniac to get home and I broke several laws (though luckily, the deputies in the area were busy with something else) to get home in two minutes. Luckily, my husband had finished the lawn and had come in and noticed the pot. It had less than an eighth of an inch of water left. He then realized I should have been home by then and called my cell phone…and wasn’t happy when he heard it ring in the bedroom.

So…lessons learned. Keep cell phone. Don’t leave the house in a rush (nothing ever good comes from this…both car “accidents” I’ve had…both of which happened in my driveway, happened when I was racing out of the house.) Check stove. But also, get involved.

I don’t know that the girl was in any danger, but it took ten-fifteen minutes out of my night to make sure that if she was, she had a way out.

What would you have done? Do you keep your cell phone with you at all times? Have you ever used it to report an emergency or call 9-1-1?

I’m so excited to have debut author, Marley Gibson, aka Kate Harmon, here today with us in the jungle. I’ve known Marley for a long time and she is one of the friendliest, bubbliest, smartest and entertaining people I know. She’s very generous…and helped me quite a bit when I was writing DIRTY LITTLE LIES, which was set in Boston, where Marley lives. I am so thrilled that her books are finally about to hit the stands and the Plotmonkeys are all very grateful for her fabulous craft topic today! Welcome, Marley!

Finding…No, Making the Time to Write
by Marley Gibson

Many, many thanks to the wonderful Plotmonkeys for inviting me to blog here with them. I appreciate the invitation to pay forward some of my writing knowledge and experience.

Ever since my books, SORORITY 101: ZETA OR OMEGA? and SORORITY 101: THE NEW SISTERS, written under the name Kate Harmon, hit shelves at the beginning of this month, there has been one question that everyone seems to like to ask me:

“Does this mean you’re going to quit your day job?”

My answer is a simple, “Umm…no.”

Eyebrows scrunch. Mouths fall open. “But why? You have books out now.”

Yes. And I’ll have more out next year. My own series under my name.

I’ve been writing seriously for publication since 2001 and have never once considered quitting my day job. Through the past seven years, I have written consistently and found the time to hone my craft, attend conferences, read online workshops, participate in writing groups…and still commute into Boston to do my 8:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. job.

You see…I don’t find time for my writing, I make time for my writing.

Remember that old saying, “You make time for the things you want to do.” Well, it’s true. And writing is no different. If you’ve always wanted to sit down and write a book, but can’t seem to find the time, ask yourself what is keeping you from writing:

1. Do you fear failing?
2. Is it writer’s block/not knowing what to write?
3. Do you procrastinate?
4. Do you not have a special place to write?
5. Can you not stick to a schedule?
6. Are there too many distractions?

Now, before anyone starts arguing about the lists of myriad things one has to do during the day, I want to just give a snapshot of my daily routine:

5:50 a.m. Hubby wakes me up
5:51 a.m. I go back to sleep
6:00 a.m. Set the alarm clock to wake me up at 6:13 a.m.
6:13 a.m. Finally rouse myself and get going
6:13 – 7:10 a.m. Getting showered, dried, makeup’d, and dressed for the work day

(Let me not here that while I’m getting ready, my hubby, who works full-time as a network systems administrator for Uncle Sam, works on websites for clients that he does on the time. Ahh ha…see, he’s making time to work on websites!)

7:10 – 8:00 a.m. Commute eight (8) miles in Boston traffic, trying not to yell at, flip off, or maim any fellow commuters
8:00 a.m. – 12:00 noon Work pretty darn hard at my job at a multi billion dollar asset manager

(Please note: I do not sell said assets, rather, I’m an executive assistant/meeting planner supporting two executive vice presidents, three vice presidents, three managers, and over fifty (50) sales people doing meetings, events, schedules, travel, expenses, payment requests, office supplies and other general “mother hen” duties for some wonderful, yet needy, people.)

12:00 noon – 1:00 p.m. Lunch with my friends or if I’m in the blood fever of writing a book, I put my headphones on (very loud Dance, House, or Trance music) and write for forty five minutes to an hour)
1:00 – 5:00 p.m. Back to work
5:00 – 6:00 p.m. Commute said eight (8) miles home with hubby, reviewing day’s activities
6:00 – 8:00 p.m. When writing a book, this is when I edit/review what was written at lunch time and I’ll work on adding more.
8:00 – until Cook dinner (I love to cook!), watch TV, take/make phone calls, IM with writing friends, catch up with hubby, bedtime

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

See, I’m your average schmuck, living in the big city, commuting, working, and trying to make ends meet just like everyone else. The day job is great, with fun people who are easy to work with and I’m appreciated in my role. It’s good money that helps pay the mortgage, and, let’s face it, Boston isn’t a cheap city to live in. A job is a necessary thing. So, just like my hubby has to make time to work on his clients’ websites (http://www.constantimage.com), I make time to make my writing dream a reality.

Now, if you’re serious about being a writer, but you’re convinced that life is just too much in the way for you to actually sit down at the computer and get going, well, here are some things to that can help you find the time to make that story idea a reality:

(more…

You Are Fruit Loops

You’re very fun loving and easily bored. You need everything in your life to be over the top. You are definitely attracted to shiny and colorful objects. If kids love something, you tend to love it as well. You a very short attention span and are easily distracted. You are likely to eat something very random for breakfast… or forget to eat it at all.

I love these silly quizzes, especially when I’m close to finishing the copy edits I’ve been working on for three solid days, LOLOL!

Honestly, though…you guys know me pretty well now. You know I love cartoons and coloring with crayons and going to see movies by Pixar. My favorite place in the universe is Disney World and I’m just as likely to know all the characters on Spongebob Squarepants as my daughter is. I love toys and video games and sweet, sugary things that are bad for me.

I’m a kid in adult clothing.

Not all the time. I can be very sophisticated. I love fine food and theater and classic literature.

But sometimes, a girl just wants to have fun!

So honestly, this quiz is right up my alley. I love cereal. Love, love. My daughter eats healthier cereals than I do, though I will admit I love granola, especially toasted with a bit of honey, vanilla yogurt and fresh berries, a combination I got hooked on when the Plotmonkeys stayed at the Bellagio in Las Vegas a few years ago and I had it for breakfast several times. Yum!

But most of the time, I’m just a Fruit Loop. I love Fruit Loops, so I don’t mind. I also adore Honey Combs and Corn Pops. Apple Jacks are okay by me. I love Rice Krispies and Frosted Flakes, though I’ll admit I don’t like those quite as much as I did as a kid. (I do, however, like Corn Flakes with lots of sugar on them.)

If I have to be healthy, I go for a cereal with raisins or dried fruits…not Raisin Bran. I’m not head over heels in love with that cereal, but I’ll eat it in a pinch. I like Honey Bunches of Oats and the occasional Grape Nut, though I prefer that with yogurt rather than milk.

And about milk…I need my milk to be ice cold. Ice, ice cold. I have to eat my cereal fast because there is nothing worse than warmed milk or soggy cereal. I’m picky about my kiddie cereals, LOL!

So…what cereal are you? Does it match up to the cereals you love to eat? What’s a typical breakfast for you?

Congratulations to winner, commenter #61, Christina! Please email me at julie at julieleto dot com with your snail mail address and I’ll get out your prize this week!

Special kudos, btw, to Paula R. She made me realize that it wasn’t Brazen & Burning that had the lemon scene…it was What’s Your Pleasure? So Christina wins both. Thanks, Paula for the catch!

Now for the joke, courtesy of my cousin, who sends me the funniest jokes…
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Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddy bikers who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Dallas, TX. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Bud says, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!”

Jim says, “Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?”

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and got completely smashed.

The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing. Then the phone rings. It’s Jim.

Jim says, “Hey, how do you feel this morning?”

Bud says, “I feel great. How about you?”

Jim says, “I feel great, too. You don ‘t have a hangover?”

Bud says, “No that jet fuel is great stuff — no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often.”

Jim says, “Yeah, well there’s just one thing”

Bud asks, “What’s that?”

Jim asks, “Have you farted yet?”

Bud says, “No.”

Jim says, “Well, DON’T, ’cause I’m in Denver .”

I’ve decided I want a new scent. A “theme” scent. A scent that represents my new outlook on life…sunny & positive. It’s nearly summer here in Florida. Okay, summer’s officially five weeks away, but it’s already feeling like summer and I’m turning over a new leaf.

My new theme scent? Lemon, baby.

It’s fresh and crisp and citrusy. It’s got the whole, “lemons into lemonade” thing going on. Florida just screams lemons and you all know how much I adore the lemon tree in my backyard (which doesn’t bear fruit until winter time…weird.) I’ve been buying lots of lemon scented lotions and candles and body washes and I’m in lemon love.

So I want to share my new obsession and sunny disposition by offering up a travel collection of LemonMade products from Bath & Bodyworks!

Here’s the description from B&BW: Davies Gate LemonMade Lemon Wedge Travel Set:
Take your favorite LemonMade products on the go. This practical, reusable tote is filled with deluxe travel sizes of Bath & Shower Gel, Warming Sweet Cream Body Scrub, Body Lotion, Hand Salve and a Lip Balm SPF 15.

Just post a comment to enter, US residents only…and I’ll throw in a copy of one of my old Temptations, BRAZEN & BURNING, which has this really hot scene with lemons that I’d forgotten about until just this minute. Coooooool.