The Simple Life
I don’t blog too much about this, but my daughter is in a highly challenging academic program at school. We spend more time than I think is necessary for an elementary school student, worrying, studying, doing projects, researching…etc. Every day, we both stress out over how much homework she has, when to do it, how to do it, etc. Tests and quizzes must all be signed. Notebooks organized. Certain rules followed each and every time.
You see…I’m not one of those mothers who insists homework be done the minute the kid gets home. Only minutes before I pick my daughter up, she has her most challenging class of the day–math. I hardly think it’s reasonable to ask a child her age to get to work immediately after just finishing a long day where she, a kid who’d rather be outside and climbing something or drawing until her heart’s content, has been sitting still and keeping out of trouble (mostly) for hours on end.
So when she gets home, she usually gets a snack, plays her video game or unwinds until around 4-ish, when I settle her down for homework. She’s usually done by 5 (despite the fact that her age group in our state is only supposed to have 30 minutes of homework…but DON’T get me started) and she goes off to play with the neighborhood kids. In this next quiet hour or two, I get in another hour of writing and then start cooking dinner. Yes, I cook nearly every night. It’s a sickness. It really is.
Yesterday, however, we strayed.
I’m afraid my daughter learned the word hooky from me.
Life is too short for iron-clad routines.
We’re a busy family, just like everyone else. For mother’s day, I really wanted to curl into the day bed we keep in her playroom and watch RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK with her, a movie she’s never seen. It’s a little creepy in places…too creepy for her to watch alone. But we had so much to do, we never got around to movie viewing. So today, when she announced her homework was fairly light (we did some research for a project she has due on Friday) I decided today was the day to relax…if only for an hour.
So I baked cookies. Don’t get excited…they were the ones from the refrigerator section that only need to be broken and baked. We poured two tall glasses of milk into pre-frozen mugs, snuggled under the comforter and watched the movie until a neighbor kid came knocking, wondering where my kid was!
It was only an hour or so (we’d been watching bits and pieces of the movie during the weekend) but it was fabulous. This is the stuff kids remember…and this is the stuff I live for. Little moments with no worries…not even about the calories. Just good clean fun…and Harrison Ford, too.
Of course, now I have to go do some research to try and explain to my very inquisitive child exactly why the ark killed people who looked at it and not the ones who didn’t. Explaining the myth of Medusa wasn’t quite enough. ::sigh:: (UPDATE: God told Moses that he would die if it saw Him in all his Glory. Same principle.)
So…if you had an hour to do ANYTHING you wanted to relax…completely ignoring all your responsibilities…what would you do? (Man, is that a loaded question or what?)
An hour to anything I want…hmmmm. My first thought was I’d curl up and read. Then, I decided it would be a massage, yep, that’s what I’d do with the hour.
Your post reminded me of somthing Missy and I did when she was younger. A lady (I can’t remember who) told us at a ladies meeting at our church about M&M’s and Coke. She said, everyday when her daughter came home from school, they’d share a small (tiny) bag of M&M’s and coke. During that time, they talked about their day or really anything. She told us this was such a great way to keep connected as your kids grow and she was right. So much so, if something happened that we could do the 15 -20 minutes, my kids and I missed it greatly.
Comment by Vicki — May 14, 2008 @ 6:25 am
Sleep! I wake up as tired as when I went to bed and an afternoon is wonderful except I always feel guilty for laying down, even if it’s for 30 minutes, because I have so much to do. A nap, with no guilt, would be heaven!!!
By the way, I cracked the cover on Phanton Pleasures Friday. Big mistake…huge….I couldn’t put it down until I finished it so now I’m even further behind in all the stuff I have to get done!
But it was a great book!!!
Comment by Jodie — May 14, 2008 @ 8:47 am
I would say read, but I make time to read each day. I would probably sleep too. I seem to be tired even after sleeping all night. A nap in the afternoon always makes me feel better.
Leslie, I finished Slow Hands last night and loved it!!! Very hot and sexy read.
Comment by Liza — May 14, 2008 @ 9:08 am
I am the queen of playing hookey. And I have taught my daughter well. We were supposed to mow yesterday but went to the movies instead. I would love to take an hour to do some scrap booking. I keep buying stuff, I just don’t find the time to do it. And now I have all these wonderful pictures from DC to do. At least it is easier to keep photos on cd’s these days.
Jodie- I know how you feel. I did the same thing when I got the book. oops. there went the house work. Again.
Comment by ev — May 14, 2008 @ 9:22 am
I would get a massage…..with my oldest (he has autism, so routines are so important!), from his first day of preschool (he had 20 hours of preschool per week, not including therapies!), IF he had a good day (ie. no teacher told me that he had bad behavior), he would get a small, tablespoon size of ice cream. Now, he gets it, if he has had a good day AND finished with his homework, without fussing. That’s when I used to ask him questions about his day (his teachers write to me what happened that day), but now that usually occurs during homework time. He has more homework than the other ‘typical’ kids or even the special needs kids. I don’t get resentful of that, I believe in pushing him (and I know when to stop!) to help him along…just part of the drill. I do give him Fridays off. He is so exhausted by Friday (me, too), I don’t expect him to be productive. Wednesdays he has early releases (everyone does), so he does a little extra homework. It all balances out in the end.
As far as the other two…I ‘connect’ with them right after school. With my kindergartener, I connect during homework time or on the walk home from the bus stop. With my preschooler, I ask him questions on the way home….
Comment by katie — May 14, 2008 @ 9:24 am
My answer, of course, is read. Unlike a lot of you, I’m sure, I do not get enough time to devote to reading. Sometimes it’s not until I get into bed at night and then if I’m lucky I get in a few pages. So no doubt that’s my answer.
Comment by Michelle J. in NJ — May 14, 2008 @ 9:36 am
Enjoy these times, Julie. Mine just graduated from college cumma sum laude the first of this month and is now embarking on her professional degrees. Her ultimate goal is to be a museum curator.
If I had an uninterrupted hour? I’d write. Madly. Most of my writing is done in fits and starts around other duties and responsibilities in my day. To have a whole hour to simply write, or edit….? Heaven!
Comment by Silver J. — May 14, 2008 @ 10:01 am
Grab those days with both hands and don’t let go. Lilly is 17 now and just yesterday she was a baby. We blinked and the time flew away.
If I had an hour to myself what would I do…that’s a tough question because if I’m not writing ie working I usually do something not for myself but for my family. If I start doing something just for myself I start feeling guilty. On Mother’s Day I couldn’t even sit around and watch a movie because my husband was working in the yard. So I put a new coat of paint on the little garden windmill we have in the front.
I guess the answer to that question is I do something that benefits the entire family and not just me. Otherwise the guilt starts…
Cher
Comment by Cher — May 14, 2008 @ 10:20 am
I’d curl up with my daughter and watch a movie, like you did, Julie, or play the new Mario Kart Wii racing game with my son. Actually I do both of those things pretty often — which is probably why we end up finishing the homework at midnight pretty often as well, lol. Not unusual for my kids to have 2-3 hours of homework at night, including studying, unfortunately.
Comment by Phyllis Towzey — May 14, 2008 @ 11:30 am
For my hour, I would just sit outside and relax.
Comment by Ardie — May 14, 2008 @ 11:53 am
Ooh… an hour? Most likely read, or possibly a pedicure (sandal weather and all)… Glad you and your daughter got to enjoy some fun time together!
Comment by Fedora — May 14, 2008 @ 12:20 pm
Oh I’m sure I could find lots to do! Sleep, read, watch a favorite movie, eat bad (for you) food, you name it. Definitely something to pamper myself.
Comment by Stacy ~ — May 14, 2008 @ 12:42 pm
http://www.plotmonkeys.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/signs-hot.gif
Have some fun with my DH.
Comment by Fiona — May 14, 2008 @ 12:58 pm
Boy Julie your blog fits with my mood this week. My brother in-laws 47 year old brother died unexpectedly and it has really thrown me into a funk. It has me thinking and rethinking about just how precious life is, and what really is important. Just like Leslie blogged the other day its the small gestures that are the most meaningful. So an hour to spend cuddling with my kids, or just goofing around is priceless. Keep in mind my kids are 20 & 15 so we don’t do much cuddling anymore, but life is just too short so I’m planning on spending more time just goofing around and appreciating the little things.
Comment by Tina Martinesi — May 14, 2008 @ 1:04 pm
This is such a foreign concept, I must admit I’m a tad stumped. There are so many things I’d like to do, I’d probably spend the hour deciding among them!
Comment by Amy Addison — May 14, 2008 @ 1:19 pm
If I had an hour to do anything I wanted I would most likely curl up in my reading nook with a comforter and some Dove Ice Cream and read. That sounds lovely.
Comment by Kelly H — May 14, 2008 @ 2:36 pm
Cher…I know those days go by so fast! My oldest is 8 on Saturday and I still don’t know where time went!
Comment by katie — May 14, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
Jules, nice blog…
the answer is easy for me…
Curl up with a good book…
btw…playing a little hooky every now and then is not bad is it?
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Comment by Paula R. — May 14, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
Hi to all,
My computer crashed on Friday & I have been missing my Plotmonkey fix each day! I am at a friends house using her computer to check my email/Internet life to see what I’ve been missing.
Love this subject. If I had an hour to do whatever I wanted I would have coffee or lunch with a friend I rarely see or maybe see my grandchildren in Oregon (big fantasy! I can’t reach them in an hour) or spend it at the ocean because I don’t get there often enough these days.
Cher, you should never feel guilty about taking time for yourself. If you don’t replenish then you can’t take care of those you love.
I need to go check to see who one the Friday prize.
Have a great day. I’ll check in again when my computer is up & running or I come to see my friend again.
Comment by Donna McClure — May 14, 2008 @ 4:03 pm
I would curl up with a good book. That is what I would do with my hour.
Comment by Virginia H. — May 14, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
I would read
. Or just waste it :X.
As for this blog post… oh man - gifted programs - the horror. It’s where I not only learned to procrastinate, but made it so I can’t do/finish anything without major stress and a deadline!
Comment by limecello — May 14, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
I would curl up with a good book and read!
Comment by Estella — May 14, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
Lots of good suggestions! It’s a toss-up between reading and taking a nap!
Though a massage sounds good, too! Although, I wouldn’t say no to a
manicure and pedicure! As I said, lots of good suggestions - I cannot make
up my mind!
Pat Cochran
Comment by Pat Cochran — May 14, 2008 @ 5:58 pm
I would read a book and like some of the ladies posted a manicure and pedicure sounds good too.
Julie I am one of those mother’s also that thinks homework shld be done the minute my son walks in the door. He goes to my parents afterschool since my dad is there and makes sure the homeowork is done. My hubby and I are at work and don’t want him to come home to an empty house and have the neighborhood kids knocking on the door asking him to go out. This way he can do what he wants after dinner because the homework is done except for those nights he says he has no homework and then comes to me and says can you help me like last night I am looking up info on the computer for Dwight Eisenhower
Comment by Cherylann — May 14, 2008 @ 7:21 pm
I am a retired teacher and live alone so my quiet lasts most of the day and what I do with it is read.
Comment by Ellen — May 14, 2008 @ 7:40 pm
Well, I’m going to say it, even though no one else has…if I had a free hour and could do anything I wanted, I’d want an hour of hot, sexy lovin’!
Comment by Cas — May 14, 2008 @ 8:26 pm
I would either:
1.) read, or
2.) spend an hour with actor Powers Boothe in a very compromising position.
Comment by Debra Kelley — May 14, 2008 @ 10:23 pm
As for me…I’d spend that hour doing just about anything with Bruce and the girls.
And Liza–thanks so much! I’m so glad you liked Slow Hands!!!
Comment by Leslie — May 15, 2008 @ 6:35 am