Caught Red Handed
Thanks again to Jill Monroe and Gena Showalter for exposing my crimes to the public at large. I am, admittedly, guilty of writing a crime-riddled book…lies, cheating, stealing…sexual positions that are likely outlawed in parts of the south…dogs and cats, sleeping together…mass hysteria.
S’rsly, these ladies are tre funny. I love them. In fact, I squee’d like a schoolgirl when I got my email stating that Gena’s newest book, THE DARKEST NIGHT, is winging its way to me as we speak. Hot men, Pandora’s Box (I love me some Greek mythology, people)…what’s not to love?
Speaking of crimes, yesterday, I was driving home from picking up my daughter at school when I turned out onto the main thoroughfare that leads to my subdivision. Although I don’t live directly on this main road, I consider this road my neighborhood. I also know that there are very often police officers stationed in front of the private school on this street, ticketing speeders. I’m very careful not to speed there for two reasons. One, it’s my neighborhood and there are kids around and two, I don’t want a ticket. Both good reasons, I think. Well, I pulled out with plenty of space, but lo and behold, ten seconds later, a little white car driven by a blond woman who might have been but a few years younger than me speeds up behind me.
I’m quite a good driver. Very aware of my surroundings (most of the time) and I saw her in my rearview. Not crazy about tailgaters, I took my foot off the gas. I didn’t brake…that would be dangerous, but I slowed down just a little bit, enough to get her to back off. Then I watched and proceeded to drive the block that it takes to get to my subdivision entrance.
She made a gesture that asked, “What are you doing?”
I kept driving. When I passed the speed limit sign, I very politely pointed (with my pointer finger, btw) at the sign. 35 miles per hour.
That’s what I’m doing, moron.
As I turned on my signal and made my turn, I ignored her. I’d made my point.
Then my daughter informed me that the teenage boy in the passenger seat had just put up his middle finger at me.
Nice parenting, lady.
Because of this idiot who doesn’t care about the school she was speeding past or the bus stops she wanted to tear by, I had to explain to my daughter what “no class” means. Not a bad lesson for her to learn of course.
A few weeks ago, there was a woman in an SUV (not dissing SUV’s here…I drive one, too) who was very impatient to get to school. She was coming from the same direction as me and not only did she ride over a curb in order to get into the turn lane, she made a left turn against a red arrow at another intersection. She was speeding, weaving in and out of rush hour traffic…all with her child in the car. A fifth grader, I know, because this child goes to my daughter’s school, though I don’t know the parent.
And guess what? Without breaking a single law, I beat her into the car line. Why?
I didn’t stop for coffee at the 7-11. She, however, did.
And we all sit here and wonder what’s wrong with kids today.
Don’t wonder, people. Just look in a mirror.
Want to vent about bad parenting? Bad driving? Here’s the place!
I have to admit… I speed. There’s this one main road, where the speed limit is 25, but everyone goes 40. [No, really.] There are 2 lanes per side - yesterday, for no discernible reason… this guy [probably early 20s] cut me off. If I hadn’t stomped on my brakes, he would have driven into my car. There were no cars behind me, and I was zipping along fine. So, I used my horn. Which had him going, then stopping dead, in hopes that I’d hit him. Well, I know what a safe following distance is, and didn’t. But, I was really steamed.
Comment by limecello — April 23, 2008 @ 7:44 am
I tend to speed on the highway, but mostly that is more keeping up with traffic than not.
This with a kid in the car seat. In the middle of a snow storm. When the roads were crappy. 
I live in the city and do the posted speed limits, including the school zone ones. I can’t believe how many drivers- bus drivers included- who don’t or get upset when they get behind me.
I hate tailgaters. I do let my foot off the gas when this happens. I had someone tailing me in the middle of a snowstorm one morning. The guy ahead of my braked to turn, I slowed down (plenty of room) and she hit me. Why? She was trying to read my license plate!
I have had 3 accidents since I started driving over 30 years ago (knock on wood) and all three were someone rear ending me.
When Heather started driving one of the first things she learned that even though here Stop signs and stop lights seem to be optional, they weren’t for her.
And don’t get me going on how people interpert the right on red law.
Comment by ev — April 23, 2008 @ 8:29 am
or Left on red either.
Comment by ev — April 23, 2008 @ 8:29 am
Those guys are too funny
Bad parenting is more of an epidemic, I think than bad drivers and road rage. Although I can understand road rage because there is an abundance of idiots out there driving–(I don’t mean people pulling out a gun and shooting someone or running people off the road kind of rage) Just the general “You cut me off, you ****! But I see bad parents nearly everywhere I go.
For instance, on a frigid day a mother will take her newborn, a baby who is barely a week old to a shopping mall–during flu season–without so much as a hat on the child’s head. Now that is incredibly stupid!
Or a mother will take her newborn out on a very hot day, put the baby in the stroller then cover the baby from head to toe with a blanket to keep the sun off the baby. HELLO!!
A mother drags her toddler around to one store after the other until they’re crying and whiny and so tired they just want to go home for a nap and some down time but the mother keeps pushing them way beyond their limit. Then scolds them for crying because they’re tired!
Or one of the saddest of all, a woman who works in the emergency room of a hospital, goes to work on a hot summer day with her baby in the car, goes inside to work and FORGETS her baby is in the car. The baby is found dead later with a 108 degree body temp…horrible!! Can you believe she actually FORGOT HER BABY!! (shuddering)
Here’s a instance that broke my heart. My husband, my daughter and I were at the museum a few years ago. Lilly and I went to the lady’s room. In the stall next to me was a mother with her little girl who had had an accident and wet her pants. I hear the mother give her a hard slap followed by a severe scolding while this little girl is saying, “i’m sorry, Mommy, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” I have to tell you that I wish now that I had tried to find out her name and reported her to Family and Children Services.
Another heartbreaker, a woman with a special needs child, puts the child in a tub of scalding water. The child sustains 3rd degree burns over most of her body. She puts the child back in her bed then waits until she dies. Takes the body and buries her in a shallow grave up in the foothills.
Oh. My. God. This one really tears me up because I have a special needs daughter.
It’s amazing to me that people need a license to drive a car, a license to get married, a hunting license, a fishing license, a passport for travel out of the country…but any shmuck can have a child.
Don’t even get me started on animals!
Children and animals are so incredibly vulnerable. We have to protect them.
Okay, is everybody good and depressed now? Sorry, didn’t mean to be so maudlin this morning but Julie, you opened the door.
I’ll get off my soapbox now and offer up a funny to put a smile back on your face.
This guy goes into a bar. He sits down at the bar, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a 10 inch man. He puts the little man on the bar. The little man runs down to the end of the bar where there is a piano. He starts playing the piano like a concert pianist.
A man sitting next to the guy at the bar asks him where he got the 10 inch man. He tells him “I got him from my genie.” They man says, “Where is your genie?” He says, “He’s out in the car.” The man says, “Do you think it would be okay if I went out there and asked him for something?” The man says, “Sure, go ahead.”
So, a while later the man comes back into the bar and he is followed by hundreds and hundreds of little ducks. The man says, “Where did you get all those ducks?” The guy says, “Well, I asked the genie for a million bucks and this is what I got.” The man says, “Well, hey, you don’t think I asked him for a 10 inch pianist do you?”
Have a good day all,
Cher
Comment by Cher — April 23, 2008 @ 8:54 am
Julie, you’ve touched on one of my hot buttons. I admit, I speed on the highways, but in residential/school areas, I tend to be much more cautious - you just never know if a kid or a car is going to pull in front of you.
I shouldn’t comment on what’s wrong with kids today as I don’t have any (whispering “I agree with you!” LOL)
Comment by Stacy ~ — April 23, 2008 @ 9:33 am
It drive me crazy when people have their children in the car and drive like they are in the Indy 500. I take extra care when my nieces are in my car to watch my language and really drive carefully. I admit I do drive pretty fast on a normal day, but when my girls are in the car, I’m much more careful about changing lanes and my speed.
It also makes me crazy to see the cars that speed through a school zone. There are small children all around the school zone and they don’t always look for cars. I’ve even had people honk at me because I’m driving the right speed in a school zone. Plus they drive right on your bumper so when the crossing guard stops you for children to cross, you almost get hit.
Comment by Liza — April 23, 2008 @ 9:37 am
The video was a riot, wasn’t it?
And the people in my town are completely unable to talk on their cell phones and drive simultaneously. It’s just. not. possible. Ugh!
Comment by Jaci Burton — April 23, 2008 @ 10:05 am
My husband drives for a living, so he’s on the road at least 6 hours a day and constantly complains to me about the mothers who drive like idiots with their children in the car, and he especially loves when when of the little angels in the back seat gives the friendly finger gesture…I’ve come to the conclusion that we live in a society where no-one shows respect anymore…it really is sad.
Comment by Tina Martinesi — April 23, 2008 @ 10:39 am
Oh, don’t even get me started on bad parenting and bad driving.
Newsflash people, speeding IS breaking the law (those signs aren’t suggestions), and you’re not so important (except in your own mind) that you have to be anywhere that fast. Ego, much?
Grrr….
Comment by Amy Addison — April 23, 2008 @ 11:01 am
Great joke, Cher! Leslie (who isn’t online again yet) wanted me to share that!
You know, in my criminal youth (LOL!) I was a terrible speeder. My nickname in college was Andretti, for obvious reasons. If my sorority had a road rally or scavenger hunt, I was always the one to drive. In fact, when my best friend was late for her own wedding (the limo didn’t show up) I got her there in about 10 minutes when it should have taken…well, a lot longer. But that was before I had children and in my misspent youth.
(Okay, I wasn’t THAT young when she got married, but still…
But now that I have a child, I’m very conscious of how my actions not only affect her safety, but her future driving habits. It should be known that my mother is NOT a good driver. So take from that what you will.
(Thankfully, mom doesn’t read this blog.)
Comment by Julie Leto — April 23, 2008 @ 11:08 am
Jaci, I laughed so hard at your book not using turn signals. Gena and Jill are just too funny for words.
Comment by Julie Leto — April 23, 2008 @ 11:16 am
Julie — I can SO seeing you pointing to that speed limit sign. I love it. Obviously, the driver behind you wasn’t amused, but you made your point in such an eloquent way!
Impatient, rude drivers are why my seventeen year old daughter HATES to drive.
Cher — I’m with you on people who should NOT be parents. It’s not an easy job by any stretch, and it hurts my heart that it’s the children who suffer as a result of some parents’ stupidity and lack of patience.
However, your funny made me laugh out loud! Loved it.
Comment by Janelle — April 23, 2008 @ 11:53 am
Julie,
You hit on the topic for the day.
I live in the country on a rural road.
Just last Friday around 11 am a guy speeding ran off the road just before my driveway going between 85-95 miles per hour. (that is what the deputy estimated)
He hit my driveway ,sewer pipe,(deep ditch) flipped in the air two times coming to rest 100 feet down from my driveway upside down in my pine trees.
Had I been leaving my house he could have killed me and my daughter.
I live off the road and I can’t see the road until I pull out to the end of the driveway.
Now the entire end of the driveway has to be ripped up . New sewer pipe installed and the top resurfaced.
SPEED KILLS. It doesn’t really save you that much more time .
Plus, going faster using more gas.
I try to leave a bit earlier so I won’t be late.
I always set my cruise control.
I always signal.
Be safe and slow down.
Comment by Gigi — April 23, 2008 @ 12:06 pm
Gigi, that’s terrifying!!! I’m so glad you and your daughter didn’t get hurt.
I long ago saw the error of my speeding ways, believe me.
Janelle, I don’t want to even think about my child driving. And if she’s too scared to do it, that’s fine by me! (I say that now…I’ll probably change my mind when I’m carting here, there and everywhere!)
Comment by Julie Leto — April 23, 2008 @ 12:16 pm
In order to keep one’s driving license, drivers should have to take a renewal class every 5 - 10 years.
It would keep drivers updated and reminded about regulations and include a driving test and renewal
of one’s license OR NOT!
Pat Cochran
Comment by Patricia Cochran — April 23, 2008 @ 12:24 pm
I have a funny story to tell. If my oldest has a great day of school (and after homework), I give him a teeny amount of ice cream (I know, bad parenting, I only give him about a teaspoon ful) with chocolate sauce. Lately, my youngest has been wanting ice cream, too (that’s fine). So, I gave my oldest his ice cream after everything and I gave a little to my youngest. I had to go upstairs to do something. Well, they colluded….my youngest didn’t like how little I gave him, I guess, so he asked my oldest (remember he has autism) for some ice cream. My oldest got out the ice cream from the garage freezer, scooped out some for him and his brother and poured chocolate sauce on both of them. When I got downstairs, my youngest was licking his spoon like a chesire cat and proudly told me that “my brother got me ice cream!”. Stinkers
Comment by katie — April 23, 2008 @ 12:58 pm
sorry I can’t spell cheshire today
Comment by katie — April 23, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
Kids and ice cream are like peanut butter and jelly… they just belong together. Especially with summer approaching!
Comment by Julie Leto — April 23, 2008 @ 1:16 pm
It wouldn’t have been so bad, but they were just acting guilty.
Comment by katie — April 23, 2008 @ 2:29 pm
Great subject matter today! The way many people drive today in my area is a pet peeve, so I’m going to vent!! I do a lot of walking and appreciate all the people that motion me to go ahead but why do they start driving toward me once I step into the cross walk? I don’t get it, it might take me 10 seconds, yes seconds to get across the street since I don’t dwaddle!! Tell me why can’t they wait until I step up on the curb on the other side?
Rudeness in general bugs me but especially when people are driving cars. Devastating accidents can happen in the blink of an eye, when you are driving that is what you should be doing, not talking on the cell, not jotting down items on a list, etc., etc., no reading the book or newspaper or putting on your make-up! If you are running late that is not my fault, get yourself out of bed and leave the house 10 minutes earlier. When you are driving safety should be the first thing on your mind, yours & mine. 
Thanks for letting us get that out of our systems. Parenting is much different now than when I was raising my children. Children seem to not get much chance to just be kids, they have to excel in school, they have lots of extra activities, they have play dates, what happened to just going to Joe/Jill’s after school for an hour or so?!! Kids are over indulged and feel like they are entitled, boy are they in for a shock when they become adults! 
Manners, most don’t seem to have them, they don’t respect other people or possesions. Wow, I’m really carrying on! 
Cher, great funny! It made me laugh! It is interesting that we have to have a license to drive, fish, hunt, etc. but anyone can bring a child into this world. I’ll not go any further.
I’m going to go watch the video now! Thanks Julie for making each of us stop to think how we go about our daily life.
Comment by Donna M — April 23, 2008 @ 2:41 pm
I’m a faily good driver, but get a case of the “road rage” at the bad drivers around me that results in some vicious swearing. (As an aside Bryce (my BF) and I were playing a board game with my family, and we totally won beause he knew what my reaction to bad drivers would be-vicious swearing-and everyone else guessed I’d let it slide…most of the time I let things slide…just not driving, it pushes my buttons)
But there is one incident that takes the cake beyond any other…my subdivision is accessed from a “main road” that is posted 25. It’s posted 25 b/c it’s an OLD 2-lane road, there are no sidewalks, people walk on it to get to the trail that runs through town, there are children, and there is a children’s convalescent home! All those reasons independently influence my decision to follow the speed limit…but put them all together, and COME ON…slow down! One evening, while driving home from work, a STUPID, STUPID, STUPID (road rage simmering just typing this) boy in a sporty, red car PASSED me b/c I was going to speed limit. AUGH!!! To make matters worse, they sped up and passed me where the road intersects with the bike trail (on occasion, bikers have failed to stop at the intersection) AND right in front of the convalescent home! To make matters even WORSE, the road ended only 30 feet later.
Comment by Cas — April 23, 2008 @ 3:27 pm
The newest fad in my suburban neighborhood is to type text messages into your cell phone while driving. No joke, 2 different cars within a couple of blocks of each other, wandering all over the road. Both drivers, one a teen, one a 35-ish guy who dang well should have known better. Was it mean of me to hope they hit each other?
About 10 years back, I had an idiot playing the chicken game (trying to get me to rearend him). He was driving a brand new Pontiac Fiero (made from the finest compressed plastic). I was driving my old beat up mini-van. He hit the brakes three times before his wife started slapping him repeatedly. We could see her lips moving, “New car, stupid! New car!”
Comment by Jackie L. — April 23, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
great topic. I try to keep my speed in check. I do a good job unless I am traveling a long distance. Then I tend to go faster the longer I am on the road.
Comment by kelly h — April 23, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
Well, speaking of speeding, I almost had to do that on my lawnmower again this afternoon.
Seriously. I did it again. Locked myself out. 15 minutes to get to my daughter’s school to pick her up.
I now live a good 10 miles from her school, however, via highway, not 1.5 via neighborhood roads. So a lawnmower was out of the question.
Fortunately, my new neighbor is a doll and lent me her car. It wasn’t until i got behind the wheel that I realized it was a fricking Mercedes.
Did I drive the speed limit? Oooooohhhhh yeah. Not just because of the make of car, but also because I didn’t have one bit of ID on me since I locked myself out sans wallet!
Baaaaaaaad day….
Comment by Leslie — April 23, 2008 @ 5:09 pm
Leslie, I have two words for you: dead bolt.
Is that one word?
My front door has a dead bolt lock, so you can’t lock yourself out. My garage door…different story. I’m forever locking myself out. My neighbors, however, have a key!
Hugs!!!
Comment by Julie Leto — April 23, 2008 @ 6:04 pm
Gigi: and it’s not just on country roads. We had a woman wind up with a speeder in her living room….
Comment by Amy Addison — April 23, 2008 @ 6:23 pm
I am just here to post how hilarious that video was.
Comment by Kirsten — April 23, 2008 @ 6:39 pm
Great topic
Here In CT they are trying to toughen the driving age laws because so many teenagers(7) have died this year 2008.
I try to be classy when I am driving with my son who is 14 when someone makes me mad for doing something stupid while they are driving.
I was dropping him off at Chatechism one night and a car pulled out in front of me and I started to
when I realized I was in the Church parking lot and he finished my sentence with a nice polite word which I can’t remember now.
Comment by Cherylann — April 23, 2008 @ 7:34 pm
Hi guys, I finally get a chance to sit down and relax in the jungle…
Jules, I don’t have much to add on the bad parenting bit, but I am guilty of driving fast too…I usually wait until I am on an open road though, or if I am out really late at night, 11:00 p.m. onward…I hate to weave in and out of traffic…I understand your angst when it comes to speeding near school and ohter highly congested areas…
Gena and Jill are hilarious…I watch their Author Talk vids all the time…thanks for pointing me in their direction btw…
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Comment by Paula R. — April 23, 2008 @ 7:37 pm
My pet peeve is people who go like the devil to get around me and then slow down to under the speed limit.
Comment by Estella — April 23, 2008 @ 7:42 pm
Leslie, if you have a garage door, you can get a coded opener for outside the door, that way if you leave the door inside open, you can always get back in your house. My sister does it at her house, because her middle lost her house key like 5 times. She types in the code and the garage door opens(there’s is 4 or 5 numbers). I think they sell them at Home Depot and Lowes.
Comment by Liza — April 23, 2008 @ 8:01 pm
Estella, I absolutely hate that too…especially if I am in the fast lane, and they cut me off from the slower middle lane and then slow down in front of me…that really ticks me off…I often talk about, okay curse, these people when they do that…
Comment by Paula R. — April 23, 2008 @ 8:20 pm
wtg on winning best blaze of 2007 from RT WHOOO. i love it. cant wait for more blazes
Comment by kim h — April 23, 2008 @ 10:16 pm
would u be coming to writersapce chat to chat about your new book? writerspace.com
Comment by kim h — April 23, 2008 @ 10:18 pm
Kim, I’m going on a field trip with my daughter’s class that is from 5:30am (yes, AM!) to 9:30pm, but I’m going to try and show up at the end. Thanks for asking!
Comment by JulieLeto — April 24, 2008 @ 4:45 am
cool thanks 6pm to 7 pm
Comment by kim h — April 24, 2008 @ 11:24 am
I follow the rule of drive with traffic in most situations. Of course, where I live it’s standard policy to drive 10 miles above speed limit. (Not in all situations, but most.)
My one ticket was for speeding in a school zone. I was leaving the high school after a pep rally, so only other senior band kids were leaving. Absolutely no one to run over. (It’s very embarrassing to be in defensive driving and say you got a ticket for going 31 mph. Everyone gives you this WTF look.)
Comment by Liviania — April 24, 2008 @ 9:14 pm
I tend to stay between 3 and 7 over the posted limit. Though, that doesn’t seem to appease some people who are bound and determined to go 40 in the 25 zones between where I work and where I live, which is only a short 4 mile drive. The worst thing I do, is call other drivers who don’t use blinkers or who tailgate or cut me off ’stupid’ or ‘moron’. I’m trying to break myself of that, though, as my niece has started to copy me. Having her, or any of my five other nieces and nephews, definitely reminds me that there are little ears and eyes everywhere just ready co copy your example. So, I try to make it a good one.
Comment by Karin — April 25, 2008 @ 3:10 pm