It’s All About Me
Note - I wrote this blog last week, before Julie’s week of excerpts. Now the title seems like it should be FINALLY It’s All About Me - just kidding! I loved Julie’s story as much as the rest of you and what really thrilled me was your reaction to it! Julie has a winner on her hands!
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NOW back to me!
I’ve been going through a rough patch. I didn’t realize it for awhile. I knew I wasn’t writing at the pace I wanted. I wasn’t as “up” as I wanted to be. I couldn’t put my finger on what I was feeling or why. A friend mentioned some things she was going through and I was able to relate enough to make some personal changes in my life too. Among those changes was to try to think more about ME.
On the one hand, this seemed odd. I mean, don’t I always think about me? Well yes in between thinking about everyone else in the family. Don’t I always put my writing first? That’s the thing – I always THINK about writing. Doesn’t mean I’m always writing. And I decided that the reason I’m falling behind on the writing is because I’m thinking more about things than doing them. So I decided to put some things into action.
1. I’m eating better.
2. I joined a gym with my sixteen year old daughter and we are going to motivate each other. We will go after school or early evenings, so I will no longer feel like I have no time to exercise because I could use the time writing. I never write during these hours because I’m carpooling and then the kids are home … so now we make better use of our after school time.
3. I’m getting weekly manicures – this makes Mom happy (seriously!) and makes me feel better about ME.
4. I bought a new desk chair and I’m having someone come into the house to make my keyboard tray and mouse tray more ergonomically fit to alleviate the back and shoulder pain. (which has me in physical therapy 2 – 3 times week and takes up way too much time!) I’m hoping to have the set up in place next week.
5. I saw my doctor and tweaked some things that needed tweaking!
As a result of focusing more on me, I’m hearing the voices again! Not schizophrenic voices but a writer’s voices. The characters are starting to talk to me again, slowly but surely and that to me is key. So for anyone who feels blah or lost, I highly suggest you take some time to be selfish. Make your life more about you – you’ll be happier and more productive and everyone around you will thank you for it in the end.
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NOTE again - FRIDAY I am off to Arizona for the Desert Dreams Conference where I’ll be their luncheon speaker and where I am also doing a workshop on The Writing Process. If you live in Arizona, there is also a huge booksigning open to the public:
Saturday, April 5
5:30 - 7 p.m.
Crowne Plaza San Marcos Golf Resort & Hotel
One San Marcos Place
Chandler, Arizona
Santan Room/San Marcos Ballroom
I hope some of you are in the area and will stop by and say hi!!!!
*****
LAST BUT NOT LEAST - coming next week … HOT PROPERTY NEWS!
Ha…Julie here…Carly THINKS today is all about her…but I still have one last winner to announce.
Comment #80, Angie-La! (Yes, we had over 80 comments on a Sunday!!!) Angie-La, please email me: julie at julieleto dot com. Send your snail mail address and I’ll get your prize out right away!
Bunny, I still never got your email. Please try again. The server switch is over, so we should be okay now.
Thanks everyone for following the excerpts all week (Did you miss them? Start here) AND for showering me with reports of PHANTOM PLEASURES sightings and purchases! Keep ‘em coming!
See Carly, it was a reminder that you have to start putting yourself first, at least for awhile. It’s tough, because women tend to put everyone else - family, friends, work - before them. But there’s definitely an advantage to it. Keep up the good work. I’m glad it’s helped your writing.
Ev, good luck today!!! I’ll be thinking about you.
Comment by Stacy ~ — March 31, 2008 @ 12:14 am
Thanks Stacy!! 4 hours and counting.
I have learned to be selfish and take time for myself. I go for my manicure every 2 weeks and a pedi once a month. I take myself and a good book to lunch at least once or twice a month. I go shoe shopping. I play on line reading my blogs.
Somewhere in there, I manage to get everything else done too. Or most of it.
Comment by ev — March 31, 2008 @ 12:36 am
I have been having the same trouble. Trouble focusing , sleeping I feel stressed out all the time.
I need to try and do for myself but it is so hard.
Comment by Gigi — March 31, 2008 @ 1:27 am
Hi Carly! I’m glad you’re feeling better and hearing those wonderful voices again! I’ll be in Arizona and will definitely come say hi!
Comment by Robin — March 31, 2008 @ 2:09 am
Carly, I’m so glad to hear about you putting “you” first. It is hard for women who are wives and mothers to take time for themselves. We tend to nurture everybody but us who in my opinion need it the most because we’re so darn busy nurturing everybody else. I am definitely guilty of it and when that happens my writing suffers because I feel drained and crabby.
I’m happy to hear that your characters are speaking to you again. That is an absolute must for all of us Carlyphiles who MUST HAVE another book to read as soon as possible! So what are you doing reading this blog? Get to work! Just kidding. :-) Let me know how the new chair works out for you. I got a new one a few months ago myself and it has made a lot of difference. My keyboard and mouse pad have been ergo for a while now.
Julie, thanks for the fabulous excerpts. Amazon just informed me that Phantom Pleasures has been shipped. :-)))
We had a little snow again last night. It’s 27 here. Welcome to spring time in the Rockies. By Saturday it’s supposed to be back in the 60’s again.
Have a great day all. Love and kisses,
Cher
Comment by Cher — March 31, 2008 @ 2:11 am
I am SO sympathetic. I’ve been feeling pretty blah myself and have realized this is the exact reason why. Between three kids, my mom, hubby and writing, I’m practically non-existent. I decided that this year I wouldn’t go to ANY conferences. Only fun vacations. I’m hoping this will help. I, too, am eating better. I haven’t managed the exercise part yet because I’m still under massive deadlines, but I’m actually going to have the first massage I’ve had in six years later this week. I’m truly excited.
I’m so glad you’re starting to hear the characters again! Can you please ask them to get in touch with mine and give them a great big kick in the pants for ignoring me?
Have a great day! And loved, loved, LOVED the excerpts Julie!
Comment by Kimberly Raye — March 31, 2008 @ 2:31 am
Glad you are taking more time for yourself Carly. I’ve found that if I go the gym after work, I not only sleep better, but I make myself eat better too. I’ve started making sure I take at least one weekend a month for myself. On that weekend, I read and watch movies and only go someplace if I feel like it. I eat my favorite things and soak in the tub with a good book. It seems that every other weekend of the month I have to be somewhere or do something for someone else. I treasure my weekend every month.
Comment by Liza — March 31, 2008 @ 2:44 am
I can’t say I’m THERE yet, where I want to be, or as consistent as I want in any of the things I mentioned, but I’m trying. More importantly I’m AWARE. IT’s a start.
Robin, looking forward to seeing you in AZ!
Liza, I agree, the gym later in teh day has worked better than early. Early I always feel like I’d rather be doing something else. Or should be doing something else. Later I know it’s not work time anyway.
Kim, National and our plotting retreat are musts for me. Those are ME time b/c I see all of you. We also take family vacations and I try to use those now to really relax.
Comment by Carly — March 31, 2008 @ 3:06 am
Carly~
I am glad to hear that you are taking care of you. I know that sometimes that is hard when you have all these other people to take care of and a million and one things to do. I know that I really need to start focusing on taking better care of myself…which will most likely lead to everyone around me being happier too.
Looking forward to hearing more about Hot Property.
Comment by Lori T — March 31, 2008 @ 3:25 am
It’s great that you’re feeling better, Carly!
Me time is always a must!
Julie, I’ve resent the email. Hope you get it. Thanks!!
Comment by Bunny B — March 31, 2008 @ 4:51 am
Carly,
Congratulations! I am so proud of you. I just realized the same things about myself. So, in January I began by doing the manicure thing, now I realize even more (after some things I discovered in a 5 seminar this week) that by not taking care of me and really being me that I am shortchanging everyone who depends on me. Because they are not getting the 100% they deserve since I am not 100% me.
I hope that makes sense. To all of you who are doing this I am so PROUD of us. To the rest…..I hope you start to “treat” yourself.
Love, Debbie
Comment by Debbie — March 31, 2008 @ 4:54 am
Have fun in AZ. Cant wait to hear how it went.
Comment by Pat L. — March 31, 2008 @ 5:19 am
Carly, I have found there are times that it needs to be all about me. During this busy season (hubby is a CPA), it has been all about me. I have gone to a movie once a month, had a lot of babysitters (it was because i was too tired to figure out when I really needed them, but it just sort of happened that way), continued my yoga class (which is truly all about me), etc. I have taken care of myself, lost a couple of pounds (I don’t know how, yet). My boys have had a good time too. They have had playdates, etc. I haven’t tried to schedule around my husband (or done things when he is at work). It think it makes me a better mom, definitely a happier mom!
Comment by katie — March 31, 2008 @ 5:27 am
I’m looking forward to being able to take some ‘me’ time soon, and I’m really glad to see that it has been so helpful for others. It gives me hope that I’ll actually be able to relax by taking ‘me’ time after my exam on Saturday.
It’s great to hear that things are looking up, Carly. I hope you are having fun in AZ while I’m taking a four hour written test.
Comment by Karin — March 31, 2008 @ 5:42 am
I agree that taking care of “me” is a definite must… and am SO glad you are taking the steps to right that! I have 3 kids… one full fledged body snatched teen and 2 pre body snatched teens… *sigh*
I find that there is just no time left to do anything for “me” after they get done wtih me…
So’k though, soon as that last one hits 18, my hubby and I have made a pact, it’s all about us
Think they’ll notice if we move and don’t give them forwarding info!?
Comment by nettisue — March 31, 2008 @ 6:01 am
Carly, I’m glad you are learning to take care of you. It is to bad that so many women forget to take care of themselves, that included me at one time. After my divorce I realized I had to take care of myself because no one else was going to do it. Ladies, you can do it. If you are not happy, healthy and feeling good about yourself you cannot take care of anyone else because you are depleted. Exercise is a real key, find that half an hour everyday, you can do it & it is amazing how much it helps. Take a walk all you need is a good pair of walking shoes & comfortable clothes. I was lucky enough to get talked into an aerobics class after my husband & I separated & it was life saving! Yes, it was. It gave me a place to vent energy & it was good for me. That led to a lifelong love of “get moving”. I’ve been lax about my walking lately & it does make a difference. I’m going soon after I finish here & make a call. It doesn’t take me long to get back in the habit.
Can’t wait to hear more about Hot Property.
Julie I’ll be looking for Phantom Pleasures when I am out & about.
Have a good day everyone.
Comment by Donna M — March 31, 2008 @ 6:30 am
Thanks Carly, you’re an inspiration! It is no much easier to think about and not do it! KUDOS to you for DOING it!
Comment by Jeannine L — March 31, 2008 @ 7:36 am
Thanks Carly, you’re an inspiration! It is so much easier to think about and not do it! KUDOS to you for DOING it!
Comment by Jeannine L — March 31, 2008 @ 7:36 am
Kudos to you Carly…I have been where you were too…busy, but not in the same way…I still haven’t figured out how to take care of me yet though…I gotta figure it out soon, because I am losing the battle here..I am sure it will hit me one day…When I do exercise, I like to do it early in the morning…it helps to wake me up…I think doing physical training at “0 dark 30″ (4:30) in the am while in the military is part of the reason why too…my body is trained to do that…by the end of the day, I just want to curl up and read or sleep and just do nothing…it is good to see you on the boards again…as much as I love Jules and the week of excerpts, I missed the other monkeys too…I hope that everyone has a wonderful day…
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Comment by Paula R. — March 31, 2008 @ 8:07 am
you? hearing voices?
OH Nooooo!!
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(just kidding. three new monkey icons available)
Comment by admin — March 31, 2008 @ 8:08 am
Looks like he’s playing his Wii!
Cool, Walt, thanks!
Bunny, I did get your email. Thanks for resending.
Carly, I’m going to try and some day take a page out of your book. But alas, not today.
Comment by Julie Leto — March 31, 2008 @ 8:22 am
I’m so jealous, I wish I was going to Arizona. It’s really beautiful there. Have fun.
Congrats, Angie.
Comment by Jane — March 31, 2008 @ 5:04 pm
We should all take some time for ourselves. Most of us never do tho.
Comment by Estella — March 31, 2008 @ 5:08 pm
Looks like the server time was fixed.
And you thought it was what time?
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Comment by admin — March 31, 2008 @ 6:52 pm
Comment by katie — March 31, 2008 @ 7:35 pm
Oh Carly I could so relate. I’ve recently been feeling similar things and have also started to get my life back on track. I’ve been eating healthier, and exercising…even lost 12lbs! Although its not about losing weight as much as getting healthy. I’ve been focusing more on me and I’ll be honest in the beginning it felt a little wierd…but its been about two months now and I’ve gotten over the guilt and have been really enjoying the me time.
P.S. I’m looking forward to the Hot Property news!!
Comment by Tina Martinesi — March 31, 2008 @ 9:14 pm
Good for you, Carly! It’s tough to learn how to carve out time for yourself. I recently went through the same thing. Now I make a weekly date with myself and I never miss it! I’m now happier, more patient, and much more active. I just wish I could motivate myself to hit the gym, too!
Comment by Tammie P. — March 31, 2008 @ 10:24 pm
wtg angie
Comment by kim h — March 31, 2008 @ 11:42 pm
Once in awhile you have to stop the madness and take care of yourself, girl. I can relate.
Comment by Jaci Burton — April 1, 2008 @ 9:00 am