Sunday Winner and Funny
Congratulations to tricia, comment #3 and Caffey, comment #127 for winning this week’s prizes. Tricia, you win the Amazon order of 4 plotmonkey books and Caffey, you win the box of books! Please send your snail mail address to me (julie at julieleto.com.)
And now for the funny…I don’t know if you guys have read this, but I cried. Just cried. Hope you get the belly exercise I got from this woman’s brilliance!
This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph… PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’ choice for best webmail-award-winning letter….
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20
years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the
Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go
horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear
of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my
favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos
on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it
is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and
secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my
pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever
suffered from the curse? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time
of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel
hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few
minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed
into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife
skills. Isn’t the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George oreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy as written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants…Which
brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the
throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body
and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there,
printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
‘Have a Happy Period.’
Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness — actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just
picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh*t.
And that’s a promise I will keep. Always….
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
Have a super Sunday all,
Cher
Comment by Cher — April 20, 2008 @ 7:45 am
I always thought that was the stupidest commercial on TV, from the very first time I saw it. Thanks for expressing what I never got around to doing on my blog!
Comment by Bettye Griffin — April 20, 2008 @ 7:50 am
Congrats to Tricia and Caffey!
Comment by Liza — April 20, 2008 @ 7:58 am
Congrats to Tricia and Caffey!
Oh, I do crack up everytime I see this. I have never had a “happy period”, I don’t care what anyone says. It’s just something I’ve learned to live with - a bit of chocolate and caffeine do help.
Comment by Stacy ~ — April 20, 2008 @ 9:45 am
Morning jungle friends and of course the lovely,
….
Congratulations to the winners of this week’s prize…I am jealous, but I am happy for you all nonetheless…have fun….
Jules, the funny was hilarious I was ROTFLMAO
She said it all…I never took the time to read what it says on the pads, so now I will be looking to see if any changes were made after they got this letter…Wendi is brave…more power to her for speaking her mind so eloquently…hahahahahhahaa…I wonder how he felt when he read this letter…
Love the little pics you included in the post as well…
I won’t be on much today…I have a choir concert today…I am a little nervous, but I am sure that things will go well…I look forward to another wonderful week of fun and laughs…ttyl
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Comment by Paula R. — April 20, 2008 @ 10:21 am
Congrats to the winners!
Comment by Tina Martinesi — April 20, 2008 @ 10:48 am
Great letter Julie - soooo true!
Congrats to Tricia and Caffey! Enjoy your books!
Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the weekend. We have a long weekend here in Massachusetts. Monday is Patriot’s Day and the running of the Boston Marathon. I love to watch it on TV while I’m sitting on my couch reading a good book and eating chocolate.
Comment by Carolyn A. — April 20, 2008 @ 10:49 am
Congrats Tricia and Caffey! Enjoy your awesome prizes!!!
Julie — great Sunday funny. And it’s oh-so-true!!!
Comment by Janelle — April 20, 2008 @ 11:19 am
Congrats guys!
Oh, man! that’s hilarious and SO TRUE!
Comment by Wendy — April 20, 2008 @ 11:30 am
Congrats to the winners1 I am soooo Jealous.
As for the idiot at Always, he obviously was in cohoots with the Dr. who couldn’t believe that I was still in the hospital 2 days after my hysterectomy. It seems he sends HIS patients home the next day. I almost told him when he had his uterus ripped out through his belly button, we would discuss how long the hospital stay should be. On the other hand my dr., a woman, (duh) asked me if I was ready to go home. She was willing to let me stay!!
Comment by ev — April 20, 2008 @ 11:54 am
Yes mommy - we kow you had your surgery and for everyone else, want to know when it became official? The day I was taking a shower a week after her surgery and I come out to two boxes of tampons sitting on my sink. At least she still has to deal with the emotions of it. Now mommy, I say all of that with
As for Always, I still don’t understand the whole happy period thing, I’ve never had a happy period!
Comment by Heather Mairi (Ev's daughter) — April 20, 2008 @ 12:04 pm
Congrats winners!!
This is just to funny. I have got to send it to my friends. I just loved it.
Comment by Virginia H. — April 20, 2008 @ 12:06 pm
Woohoo, Tricia and Caffey!!! What terrific prizes to win
And thanks for the funny, Julie–SO true!
Comment by Fedora — April 20, 2008 @ 12:13 pm
I saw that commercial last week and just about fell off the sofa. “Have a happy WHAT?” I had surgery four years ago because fibroids were causing me to have a period that never ended. I’ll never forget the follow-up visit to the doctor several weeks later, when he asked if I felt less like a woman.
Lucky for him I felt less like a serial killer.
Comment by Karen Lingefelt — April 20, 2008 @ 12:36 pm
Congrats to the winners! I have seen this before, but always find it hilarious. Unfortunately true, but hilarious.
Comment by Kelly H — April 20, 2008 @ 12:56 pm
Congratulations Tricia and Caffey!
Julie, that is just too funny and so true!!
Comment by Susan — April 20, 2008 @ 1:30 pm
Sounds as if James is related to the doctor who used to drive me crazy during my long ago days of
working on a post-partum floor in a hospital. He would come into a patient room asking “How are
WE doing?” and plop himself down on the edge of the bed of a newly-delivered woman! First of
all, he was not the one who had just gone through hours of major pain, this was in the pre-epidural
days! Secondly, he was not the one who just endured being stitched back together after the baby’s
delivery, only to have an insensitive clod sit on her bed jostling her into needing pain medication!!
Pat Cochran
Comment by Patricia Cochran — April 20, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
I HAVEN’T SEEN THE AD. I HAD SURGERY MANY, MANY YEARS AGO WHEN
I WAS IN MY EARLY 20′S–SURGERY DONE WHEN SOME OTHER THINGS
HAD TO BE DONE. AT THAT TIME WE DIDN’T HAVE WHAT THEY DO NOW.
THE DOCTOR SAID I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN BUT
THAT I COULD STILL ENJOY SEX. I SAID–O.K. WHAT I DIDN’T TELL
HIM WAS AT THAT TIME I HADN’T ENJOYED SEX AT ALL–IT JUST WENT
WITH MARRIAGE AS MY HUSBAND WAS A RABBIT.
ALICE
Comment by ALICE — April 20, 2008 @ 2:04 pm
Donna
Comment by Donna — April 20, 2008 @ 2:51 pm
Congrats to the winners…I know, Have a happy period. What’s up with that?
Comment by katie — April 20, 2008 @ 3:40 pm
Congrats to the winners.
Comment by Jane — April 20, 2008 @ 3:43 pm
I crack up when I see that part Have a happy period. Like wtf we woman are in pain what makes you think it will be a happy one
Hugssss
LindaH
Comment by ReadingIsSoMuchFun — April 20, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
Thank heavens I don’t have to worry about periods any longer, happy or otherwise!! Luckily I’ve always had good doctors for that part of my female anatomy. The companies that hire advertising agencies or use their own Marketing dept. must have idiots working for them. Do they think that those commercials are going to make the female consumers rush out to buy that product?
I think not!! Loved the “funny”. I’ve seen some of it before but not sure I had ever seen that long version!!
Congratulations to the winners of Friday’s give-away! Enjoy!
Enjoy your Sunday.
Comment by Donna M — April 20, 2008 @ 5:39 pm
A happy period? Dude, my period started today and I’m nauseous, bloated, and the only thing I have to be happy about is my considerate roommate bought me chocolate. Strangely enough, I use Always pads and mine don’t have that written on them . . . somehow I don’t mind.
Comment by Liviania — April 20, 2008 @ 6:45 pm
Congrats to Tricia and Caffey
Comment by Cherylann — April 20, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
Congrats to the lucky winners!
Comment by bunny — April 20, 2008 @ 7:58 pm
My OB doc when I was pregnant with my second child would ask every visit: “How are we feeling?” I would reply, “We feel fat.” She would solemnly study my chart and say, “That’s because we’re fat.” (Like she’d just made a scientific discovery.)
Gained 80 lbs with that pregnancy. And no one to blame but myself. My husband thought I was eating for five. But hey, nine months of no cycles!
Comment by Jackie L. — April 20, 2008 @ 8:49 pm
OK, so here’s the deal. As I am starting, what I surely believe is menopause or some hormonal freak show . . . I have an 18-year-old daughter, two kids in the middle . . . and a toddler born after age 40. As in a tiny little guy in the throes of the terrible twos. Kahlua and Motrin would be a GOOD day at that time of the month.
THANKS for the laugh. I needed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Erica
Comment by Erica Orloff — April 20, 2008 @ 9:25 pm
Congrats Tricia. and thanks too! I’m thrilled to win here among you, it was you four that I started reading romance books and never looked back!
LOL on the article here! I have never saw this before!! This is priceless, LOL. I have to keep this one!
Comment by Caffey — April 20, 2008 @ 9:29 pm
OMG!!! My computer has been done all day!! I can’t beleive i won!!! WHOO HOO !!!!
Congrats to all the other wins this week.
Thanks again Plotmonkeys! You guys Rock.
Comment by tricia — April 20, 2008 @ 10:32 pm
wtg winners.
Comment by kim h — April 20, 2008 @ 11:29 pm
OMG….I am a tad late but that is hysterical.
Comment by Debbie — April 21, 2008 @ 11:58 am