My Funny Valentine
Unfortunately, my Valentine is up in Oregon, all by himself - - and I’m here in California. 
Don and I don’t usually do anything big for Valentine’s day, because I honestly don’t need flowers, candy, an expensive dinner, or even a card, to know that he loves me. But I do have to say that this year will be hard because while I don’t need anything materialistic to celebrate Valentines Day, I do miss the fact that Don isn’t here with me physically (so does the dog, who has been moping horribly since he left last week! 
). He’s only been gone a week, and I’m already counting down the days until he’ll come home to visit. 
Normally we reserve jokes and “funnies” for our Sunday posts, but I thought it would be fun to share some cute and inspiring Valentine stories today. Something to hopefully make you laugh and smile.
Pastoral Passion
The lingerie store where my aunt works was crowded with shoppers selecting Valentine’s Day gifts for their wives. A young businessman came to the register with a lacy black negligee. My aunt noticed that the next customer, an elderly farmer, was holding a long flannel nightgown and kept glancing at the younger man’s sexier choice. When it was his turn, the farmer placed the nightgown on the counter. “Would you have anything in black flannel?” He asked. 
Mower Than a Greeting Card
My friend Mark and I work in a lawn-mower-parts warehouse. Somehow Mark got the idea that his wife did not want a card on Valentine’s Day, but when he spoke to her on the phone he discovered she was expecting one. Not having time to buy a card on his way home, Mark was in a quandary. Then he looked at the lawn-mower trade magazines scattered around the office — and got an idea. Using scissors and glue, he created a card with pictures of mowers, next to which he wrote: “I lawn for you mower and mower each day.” Mark’s wife loved it. The card immediately graced their refrigerator door. 
Irresistable Irony
About a year had passed since my amicable divorce, and I decided it was time to start dating again. Unsure how to begin, I thought I’d scan the personals column of my local newspaper. I came across three men who seemed like they’d be promising candidates. A couple of days later, I was checking my answering machine and discovered a message from my ex-husband. “I was over visiting the kids yesterday,” he said. “While I was there I happened to notice you had circled some ads in the paper. Don’t bother calling the guy in the second column. I can tell you right now it won’t work out. That guy is me.” 
Making the Grade
My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: “BE MINE.” The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: “Thank you, but it’s still BE MINE-US.” :giggle:
Read All About It
Every Valentine’s Day our campus newspaper has a section for student messages. Last year my roommate surprised his girlfriend with roses and dinner at a fancy restaurant. When they returned from their date, she leafed through the paper to see if he had written a note to her. Near the bottom of one page she found: “Bonnie — What are you looking here for? Aren’t dinner and flowers enough? Love, Scott.” 
Of course, Valentine’s Day just wouldn’t be the same without a hunk! 
So, what are your plans for today? And does anybody have any funny or cute stories to add to the ones above?
Just another day in the life of me, no different than yesterday, only it’s that much closer to the weekend. At work we’re doing a lot of collecting and different activities to start collecting for the Y-Me Foundation, so the love will be shown in various ways today
Loved the funnies - very cute.
Comment by Stacy ~ — February 14, 2008 @ 7:06 am
I love Valentine’s Day- it’s the lead up to my birthday. And hubby knows that you can’t combine the two days into one.
Funny story- Last year at this time, I was driving through one of the worst blizzards we have had driving hubby to the ER at the VA. They ended up admitting him and he had to stay until my birthday 3 days later. I finally got my present on mother’s day. The man will do anything not to go shopping. He did say at his b’day party that it was time to make his reservations for this year at the hospital. NOT!!!
Comment by ev — February 14, 2008 @ 8:30 am
Good morning Plotmonkeys and Jungle Hoppers,
I received my Valentine’s from my husband last evening–Two dozen roses!
I must be doing something right. :-)
He gave our daughter flowers as well. We have such a good daddy. :-))
Thanks for the funnies. Hope everyone has a terrific day,
Cher
Comment by Cher — February 14, 2008 @ 8:50 am
Cher - that is so sweet!! The only time my dad ever gave me flowers was on Easter Sunday, but I always had the biggest, most beautiful orchid corsage to wear. I still miss having that!
The lawn mower card really cracked me up because that is exactly something that my hubby would do. He always makes me laugh with his goofy antics - but that’s one of the reasons why I love him, his sense of humor. We’ll be spending our Valentine’s evening watching the Gatorade Duels (Nascar Qualifying races for Daytona) that I’ll record this afternoon.
I’m sorry Don’s gone - maybe you need to keep that hunk handy just so you won’t be lonely!!
Thanks for sharing him with us briefly, though!
Comment by Jodie — February 14, 2008 @ 9:23 am
Thanks for the Valentine hunk! He just made my day much better…can you send him to my house? I’m single, so it is just another day for me. I did stop and get chocolate for everyone at work this morning. Love the funnies.
Comment by Liza — February 14, 2008 @ 9:40 am
I don’t have any special Valentines funnies or stories to share.
My Valentine left me a ’sweet’ card and some even sweeter dark chocolate for me this morning before he headed off to work.
Comment by Gigi — February 14, 2008 @ 9:43 am
Aw Janelle;
Valentine’s Day just isn’t the same without a significant other to share it. Though I did love the hunk you posted. Hope everyone has a great day.
Comment by Barbara-Jo — February 14, 2008 @ 9:46 am
Janelle, hugs on Don being gone. I know you miss him terribly and the same for him. :unlove:
My father delivered the cards for me and my daughter at 6:30 this morning. He always makes sure to deliver them–even when I lived in Atlanta, my cards were hand delivered by someone, never just sent in the mail. It’s a nice touch that I really appreciate.
I usually hope for tulips this time of year, but as the house is still filled with dust and workmen, I just want my kitchen finished. I’m willing to give a pass. My daughter made me about three cards and has given them to me over the last week. I bought her a Webkin, but won’t give it to her until tonight. If my appliances are hooked up by tonight, I’ll be very happy (though I’m not cooking!)
Comment by Julie Leto — February 14, 2008 @ 10:28 am
Are you ready?
Well … he’s PAID for many pieces of jewelry but he’s never walked into a store and picked something (anything jewelry or not) out for me since we were dating. We’ve gotten into this habit over the years for any occasion of buying what we want at any particular time and saying “this is for X” fill in whatever holiday/bday is coming up. And we’re both happy.l He usually sends me roses for Valentine’s DAy (I’ve trained him well) but since we started going to Aruba, thedate usually conflicts with leaving and who can see spending money on a dozen roses when we’re leaving and they’ll die?
I’ve been married 19 years and my husband has never bought me a piece of jewelry.
This year has been amazing. Last week I got 1 dozen PINK roses (we’re leaving Sat. so he thought ahead!). Then a friend of ours owns a jewelry store in town. He’s been in business a few years and for whatever reason, we’ve never bought there. This store did an INGENIOUS marketing scheme - a few weeks ago Phil got an invitation to a whiskey and cigar night at the store. I immediately saw the genius in this invitation because the date of the event was Feb 13, the night before Valentine’s Day. And my husband said he’d probably buy something b/c we really should buy something there. You didn’t hear me arguing. Oh did I mention it was men only?
So yesterday, another friend of mine had a boutique event at her house. Five different women who sell various things (jewelry, hand painted sweatshirts, workout gear etc.) were selling their wares all day. So I stopped by and for the same reason - this friend sells jewelry and I hadn’t bought any - I purchased some nice things for myself and my girls for Valentine’s Day. I called hubby after and told him no pressure to purchase at his event because I’d just bought and spent.
Last night, on his way to dinner with friends after the party, he called to tell me what a smart marketer this friend is. Over 75 men. Most bought. Including him. He said to me, “you did well.”
And I did.
Hubby gets many kudos this year!
Comment by Carly — February 14, 2008 @ 10:35 am
Janelle, BIG HUGS to you and Don and the girls. And especially to poor Sandie!
I hope the time passes quickly for you all. Did Don take my plant for company?
Julie, that is one awesome father you have!
And Les, you haven’t posted yet but when you do? I’m sure I DON’T want to know about your Valentine’s Day b/c we all know no one competes with Bruce in the romantic department, you lucky girl!
(Bruce are you lurking and blushing at the compliment?)
Comment by Carly — February 14, 2008 @ 10:37 am
Happy VD
Thanks for the great funny posts!
Comment by wendy roberts — February 14, 2008 @ 11:10 am
Southern California weather — Monday and Tuesday, it was in the 80’s. Yesterday, it was in the 70’s. This morning, I woke up to hail and SNOW FLURRIES!
It’s good to hear that everyone is having a nice Valentine’s Day so far. Carly, big HUGE kudos to Phil!!! Roses AND jewelry? WOW!
And I bet the piece of jewelry HE picked out and bought for you is even more special because he’s never done it before! 
Comment by Janelle — February 14, 2008 @ 11:46 am
Aw shucks Carly, thanks for the compliment. I hate to shock everyone but honestly I don’t have any super fantastic plans up my sleeve. Leslie and I are like Janelle and Don when it comes to Valentine’s Day, we don’t usually do anything big or spend a lot of money. We usually mark the occasion just by spending time together. I did offer to make dinner but I haven’t gotten any requests yet (hint hint).
Janelle as you know, Les and I understand completely what you and Don are going through. It isn’t easy but you guys will get through it just like we did. The only advice I can give you from Don’s perspective is to stay in touch and communicate frequently. Getting to the office and finding an email that says “I’m thinking of you” goes a long way in getting you through the day.
Hey, you know, when I lay back in that position and close my eyes, I look just like the guy in that picture. Of course it’s because I fell asleep and I’m dreaming…then the damn alarm goes off.
Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!
Comment by Bruce — February 14, 2008 @ 12:35 pm
It’s my half birthday! I love Valentine’s day…my five year old is totally into it this year. I forgot to buy hubby a card (and I have sick 3 year old, so I can’t go out, I got my boys cards…nothing says, “I love you” like the Transformers..seriously…
. I asked my five year old to help me make a card for hubby and he will!
Hubby got me a DOZEN chocolate covered strawberries last week. My five year old and I have been enjoying them. OF course, hubby goes “I got them at Costco and free shipping”. Yesterday, I got 18 roses (again from Costco and hubby has to somehow go, “I got free shipping’
. Frankly, he just needs to say, ‘You’re welcome”. I think there is more presents (I am still hoping for my DS Lite, but I doubt it…now, I am thinking we should get a Wii!!). Because this week has been so crazy, I have to get my boys’ presents together (hubby’s are already wrapped….mostly dvds that he can enjoy with the boys, but he doesn’t mind).
Hugs to you, Janelle…We did the distance thing for awhile before we moved. Not fun at all….
Comment by katie — February 14, 2008 @ 12:39 pm
Awww Carly what a sweet story!!
Janelle, sorry your missing Don
And thanks for the eye candy, I’m on a diet so he’s the only candy I will be enjoying today
Comment by Tina Martinesi — February 14, 2008 @ 3:51 pm
Just another day at my house.
Comment by Estella — February 14, 2008 @ 6:02 pm
Hello jungle friends….Happy
’s Day to everyone…
Janelle, sorry you have to experience this one alone…I am a pro at that, so if you need any pointers just ask…lol….
I love the choice of hunk for today…he is quite…hmmm…delectable…yeah that’s it…DELECTABLE!!!…Yummmy…I hope that everyone had a wonderful day so far…I am still working…have to do some grading so I don’t get behind again…felt like I was on the never ending ride of grading student work…
Of course, I make time to read too…
Gotta go…talk to you all later…
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Comment by Paula R. — February 14, 2008 @ 6:53 pm
Janelle- the first year Jim and I were married, I lived in Syracuse and he was here in Troy. We did many weekends back and forth. Remind me to tell you about the one weekend when I drove here and he immediately left for a Federal disaster. And while I was here, alone, the tornado that tore thru the are. Fun. haha.
Even though he doesn’t travel much any more, I still send thinking of you emails to work. He leaves before I get up, and there are times I don’t remember my goodbye kiss and I love you. So I email him. He secretly loves it!!
As for jewerlly- his nephew is the manager of a very nice jewerlly store. He just goes in and tells him how much he wants to spend. Thankfully, his nephew knows my taste. And we get it at HIS discount. Nice.
Comment by ev — February 14, 2008 @ 7:02 pm
Honey and I will be spending the evening together at home. It will be a quiet time, save for the
occasional coughing from each of us. We are currently recovering from a bout with the flu!
#1 son, whose birthday is today, will have to wait until the weekend for any kind of celebration!
Happy Valentine’s Day to All!
Pat Cochran
Comment by Patricia Cochran — February 14, 2008 @ 8:19 pm