Special Guest blogger: Jaci Burton!
The Plotmonkeys are VERY excited to have Jaci Burton, a frequent Plotmonkey visitor herself, come by to do a Saturday workshop on…well, love scenes! I mean…if someone is more qualified to tackle this subject, I don’t know who it is! Jaci is a fabulous writer of the sexy stuff…and a wonderfully warm woman. We’re so pleased to have her here!
———————————————
Anatomy of a Sex Scene
By Jaci Burton
Have you ever read one of THOSE love scenes? You know the kind I’m talking about. Groping and gasping and body parts and genitalia flinging everywhere. And then they did this and he did that to her and she did this to him and insert Peg A into Slot B and oooh and ahhh and boom they’re done.
If you’re reading a book and the author has been teasing you with nonstop sexual tension and this is the love scene you’ve waited 300 pages for, are you going to be pissed or what? I would be.
Why? Because it doesn’t convey anything about the characters. There’s no depth to it. You have no idea what’s going on in the character’s heads, what’s going on around them in the scene. You can’t FEEL that kind of love scene.
So when you are plotting your love scenes, how can you avoid the standard sex scene clichés? Boring narrative anatomy lessons that drone on and on and on with nothing but tangled body parts and purple prose? Total snore fest that won’t get your book noticed.
Sex scenes are very difficult to write. Not just because for some they’re uncomfortable to think about writing, about conveying the most intimate act to the written word, but because you’re trying to impart everything emotional and sexual about your characters to the page. I’ve written hundreds of them. And I still angst every time I approach the love scene. To me, they’re the most difficult part of the book. Frankly, I’d rather blow things up than write sex. Love scenes are damned difficult to put together. Why? Because they lay open the characters, physically and emotionally and it takes a long time to write the scene. It’s like an autopsy. This is where your characters are at their most vulnerable, where they give their hearts as well as their bodies to the one person who can hurt them the most. This is the scene the reader is counting on. Fail at this, let them down, and they’ll never forgive you. Pressure? Yeah, a little. It’s a huge undertaking for a writer and they just aren’t easy.
Ever skim over a love scene when you’re reading? Or worse, yawn your way through it or roll your eyes? Chances are, when you have, the author didn’t see love scenes as an integral part of the book, but a “necessary evil”. Or even worse, they put one in for shock value. Love scenes can be as sexy, emotional, funny or angst-ridden as you want. With a little thought, planning, a deep breath and determination, you can write great love scenes–and have fun!
In my opinion, love scenes are an extension of the hero/heroine relationship. Just as the reader wants the details of their arguments and the resolution, so too do they want the details of their lovemaking. This is one of the most intimate, honest exchanges the reader will see between them. Keep that in mind when you’re wishing you could cut it short or fade to black or aren’t sure what to say other than, “And then they made love.” You can certainly do that, but if you want to write sex, then there’s a right way and a wrong way.
What you don’t want to do is write a sex scene that’s dull, flat and filled with clichés and purple prose and euphemisms. My best advice – read what publishers are buying. Figure out what your target market is, and read those books. If you want to write a single title paranormal with sex in it, then buy what’s releasing right now. Check out the publishers you want to target, or the clients of the agent you want to represent you. Find out how hot (or not) the sex scenes are in those books.
If your target is category romance, buy the current lines and check out the sex. Same with romantic comedy or romantic suspense. It’s a great way to find out what level of sensuality is being published.
Then use what you read and tailor your sex scene to fit those guidelines.
If it’s hot, then write hot. If it’s mild, write mild. But always write within your own personal comfort zone. Step outside that zone and it’ll show. I think all writers should try to push their creative muscles, but not with sex. It’s too personal. And if you’re not comfortable writing hot sex, it’ll show in your book. You don’t want awkward sex scenes. You want sex scenes with rhythm, flow, and passion. Even mild sex scenes can have emotion and passion if written well. You don’t need to write erotic to have a great sex scene. You just need to tap into your characters’ emotions and have the sex scene fit the story. Always be true to yourself and your own capabilities, including your own limitations. That’s why reading is so important. Some great authors write rockin’ sex scenes that show very little, yet convey so very much. Do your research!
That being said, I also believe that too often writers confuse sex scenes with graphic erotic scenes. It doesn’t have to be that way at all. You can write a smoking hot sex scene without ever using THOSE words or getting down and dirty, so to speak.
Just like in real life – sex can be fun, it can be awkward as hell. It can be wild and crazy, it can be emotional and poignant. Your heroine may cry, both your characters might laugh. Let your characters and their personalities dictate the scene. Always be true to them.
There is no hard and fast ‘rule’ about love scenes. There are no magic formulas. This is your book. Your characters and the love scenes should be yours to write in any way that feels ‘true’ to you and your voice.
Remember that sex isn’t just physical, nor should your sex scene be. It’s about the emotion, about bringing all the senses into the scene. Sex scenes are an integral part of romance and when you plot your book they should be planned accordingly. They’re important. Drag out the emotion as well as the physical and bring your reader along for the ride. Nothing is more gratifying than a love scene that really pays off, emotionally as well as physically.
Welcome, Jaci! Thanks for sharing your knowledge on our blog. And thanks for visiting all the time. We love having you!~
Comment by Carly — December 15, 2007 @ 8:58 am
Well hello Ms. Jaci Burton, welcome to the jungle…you article was very good…I remember asking Jules to invite a blogger to talk about writing sex scenes and as usual she delivered…I am one of those people who finds it difficult to put ink to paper when it comes to writing them…I get so nervous because I want it to be realistic, but I don’t believe that I can write one on an emotional or any level…I can’t even fathom how to write one with even mild sexual tension…talk about being outside of your comfort zone…that’s one of the big reasons why I don’t feel adept enough to right a romance novel…so I leave it to the experts…I just don’t know how you guys do it…thanks again for joining us…
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Comment by Paula R. — December 15, 2007 @ 9:05 am
I’ve always struggled with sex scenes, not because of my internal editor, but because of my mother!
I grew up thinking it was something really dirty and romance novels were “trashy” so I struggled with it for a long time.
But as soon as I started using a pen name and writing the really steamy stuff, I’ve found I really enjoy writing them. It’s like my alter ego has been cut loose and can have a great time. Of course, I’m not published so I don’t have the pressure that you talk about and I’m sure that makes a difference.
By the way, after you were here the last time I joined Passionate Ink that weekend (under my pen name) and I absolutely love it there!! Shewww, talk about free reign.
Thanks again for being here and sharing your knowledge!! Thanks
for doing this for us!!!
Comment by Jodie — December 15, 2007 @ 9:25 am
There’s nothing I hate more than the gratitutous sex scene.
I just want to brain an author that does that! I’ve read a lot of romance books where sex wasn’t a major factor and may that were smokin’ hot. I go mostly for the storyline and see if it fits in. I think it’s a very fine line to write erotic romance from what could be pornography. I think it’s all in the storyline. Keep up the good work, Jaci, I have the two Demon series books and they are in my TBR pile!
Comment by Laura K — December 15, 2007 @ 9:27 am
Welcome Ms. Burton. Thank you for the great article on writing a sex scene. They are difficult and I think one of the hardest–pardon the pun–to write.
I hope everyone is having a great Saturday so far. It’s all of “6″ degrees here in Denver. Brrr.
Janelle, the more I look at the cover of your new book the more I like it. It’s growing on me. Hmm, maybe publishers do know a thing or two about marketing.
It will definitely catch readers’s eyes when they are in the book store. They will buy it, read it and when they finish it they will look back at the cover, nod their head and say, “Man, that was a great read. I need to get back to the bookstore and buy her back list.”
Hope everyone is having a great Saturday so far. It’s all of “6″ degrees here in Denver. Brrr.
Take care all,
Cher
:cold:
Comment by Cher — December 15, 2007 @ 10:13 am
Sorry, didn’t mean to repeat myself…it’s too early and I haven’t had all my tea yet….
Cher
Comment by Cher — December 15, 2007 @ 10:14 am
[...] guest blogging over at the Plotmonkeys today, talking about writing sex [...]
Pingback by Jaci Burton’s Muse » Blog Archive » I’m Guestblogging Today — December 15, 2007 @ 10:28 am
Good morning from frigid Oklahoma! I’m thrilled to have my power back on so I could join you today. Been cold and icy and just ugly here all week, so I’m glad to be sharing a little ‘heat’ with y’all today.
Paula - sex scenes are just darn hard to write, especially when you’re first starting out. It’s difficult to make them sound realistic, but the more you do them, the easier they become. Practice does make perfect!
Jodie - gotta love those alter egos, huh?
Cher - brrr. 6 degrees? We’re supposed to hit 19 tonight, and I think that’s damn cold. :cold:
Laura - and you can spot the gratuitous ones a mile away! Thank you for buying my Demon Hunter books! I really hope you enjoy them.
Comment by Jaci Burton — December 15, 2007 @ 10:37 am
Awesome advice, Jaci! And I’m glad I’m not the only one angsting over how to carry them off, no matter how many of them I write. A sex scene has to do a lot of heavy lifting. It’s often a set piece scene that’s had a lot of build-up, and you have to deliver on that. Sex scenes are probably the point where I worry most about failing my characters and my story.
Comment by Charlene Teglia — December 15, 2007 @ 10:40 am
Oh man, for all of you out there under 50 I send you my sympathy! My dad is supposed to be getting heavy rain today, ice tonight, snow tomorrow. Temps in the 20’s with 30-40 mph wind. I don’t miss it a bit!!!! Stay safe and warm everyone!
Comment by Jodie — December 15, 2007 @ 11:04 am
Comment by Tina Martinesi — December 15, 2007 @ 12:01 pm
Hi Jaci–welcome to the jungle… we so appreciate you being here!!
I totally agree with what you said–except for love scenes being hard. For me, if I am in the right frame of mind and know my characters inside and out, the love scenes can be a lot of fun to write.
That said, I did have to decide, very early in my career, how hot I wanted to go. And I’ve pushed that (most certainly with my January Blaze…whew!) but I’ve never crossed a certain line in my mind.
Julie and I did a workshop many years ago with Desire author Kathy Garbera, called “Writing To Your Comfort Level” that addresses exactly this thing. You can’t write beyond what you’re comfortable with just to try to score a sale or because it’s what’s “hot.” Readers won’t like it, editors won’t believe it. It just never works.
Comment by Leslie — December 15, 2007 @ 12:02 pm
One of the best film sex scenes that I ever saw was from the Tall Man with Jeff Goldbaum and Emma Thompson. It was hilarious with the couple careening all around the room. In fact almost anywhere but the bed and the squashed fruit bowl was a hoot. (sorry about the spelling. No spell check here!!!) Janet
Comment by Janet Seager — December 15, 2007 @ 12:04 pm
Jaci, thanks for the nudge to go write the sex scene I’ve been waffling over for several days. Right now all it says on the page is “The birds flew over the heather.”
Comment by Darlene — December 15, 2007 @ 12:06 pm
Jaci — as always, we love having you in our jungle!
I have to admit that the love scenes are the absolutely hardest part of a story for me to write. Not because I don’t like writing them — but because they are such pivotal scenes for my characters. While I can write a regular ‘ol scene in a day or two, it can take me up to a WEEK to write a love scene just to nail it perfectly right!
For me, the love scene is a layering process. First, I write all the physical stuff between the characters, then I go back and layer in the sensuality and hot stuff, then comes the emotional layering — and that’s where I show the characters feelings, their vulnerabilities, and what is really going on in their minds other than just the SEX. And by the time I’m done writing the scene, I’m as exhausted and drained as my characters are!
Comment by Janelle — December 15, 2007 @ 12:08 pm
Hi Jaci! Thanks so much for being here. It’s good to hear how hard writing sex scenes is for everyone. I thought I might be the only one. I labor over them, not because I don’t enjoy writing them, but because I want them to have a lot of impact. Thank you for your great advice and thanks everyone who posted for sharing their thoughts. Janelle, I especially like your method - thanks for telling us!
Comment by Robin — December 15, 2007 @ 12:37 pm
Charli - you nailed it….sex scenes are so important, both from a story arc pov to a character arc pov. They progress both the relationship and the plot forward. And the last thing we want to do is fail the characters (or the reader) at this most important point in the story.
Tina - sometimes we can surprise ourselves with our sex scenes, especially if we let ourselves go and let our characters take over. After all, it’s their sex, not ours.
Leslie - exactly right. You have to know your own personal limits (andI’m SO excited to read your January Blaze, especially after reading the tantalizing excerpt you posted….
. )
Janet - sex is supposed to be fun. I’ve seen, and read, some hilarious sex scenes. I admire authors who can write funny sex scenes. I try to inject humor in there occasionally, but I’m definitely not a comedy writer. I think authors who manage do it are fabulous and I love reading those scenes.
Darlene - Good luck and have fun with the sex! (uhh, the writing, that is
)
Janelle - you and me both, honey. Plot I breeze right through. Sex scenes I gnash my teeth and it takes me days and days to get through the scene. But I think that’s a good thing. It means we take them seriously and we aren’t just doing that insert peg A into slot B thing. And omg you are so right about feeling spent. After I’m done I need a cigarette as much as my characters do.
Comment by Jaci Burton — December 15, 2007 @ 12:45 pm
Ms. Burton, both you and Janelle are too funny…being spent…
After reading some of the
books, I never would have guessed that Janelle would have angst over writing her sex scenes…and they flow so naturally with the plot…well it goes to show huh, even the great ones struggle…
Cher sorry you have to endure 6 degree whether…I am hoping that we never hit that low in NE CT…it is pretty cold, but after all the snowfall the place looks picture postcard perfect…
Take care everyone…ttys
Peace and love,
Paula R.
Comment by Paula R. — December 15, 2007 @ 12:52 pm
Dear Jaci,
do the work because you’re much better than I am. 
First of all, thanks for joining us. I love a visitor of this blog doing a Saturday workshop because I think this way you’ve got a little bit more inside knowledge about the blog. Reading todays blog really was interesting for me (even if I’m not a writer myself. I let the pros like you or
For some writers, this scenes seem to be an easy part of the book (like Leslie) while for others (like Janelle) it isn’t easy at all. Janelle, there’s one thing I want to tell you: I wouldn’t have guessed it by reading your books because it always seems to come so natural. So you don’t have to worry about that. And by the way, I love it when feelings and some kind of vulnerability are added because then it seems to be something special.
Paula, if you’re talking about degree Celcius you’re still better off than I am. Here, it is freezing (minus 3 degrees). Today, we actually had some snow. That way I know Christmas is approaching faster than I would have believed. Because for me Christmas and snow belong together like …well good books and the plotmonkeys for example. But I’ve heard there are still some disgusting snow stormes to come in some areas in the US. So take care all who live there.
Back to you Jacie, I really think that the emotions are an important part and I love that you feel the same way. Honestly, I haven’t picked up a copy of one of your books but after that blog I definitely will.
Thanks for being here Jacie
Take care all, enjoy but stay safe
See you
Vero
We’re getting closer and closer to
mastree: And that reminds me of my still missing 
. I’m still waiting for that brillant idea to come 
Comment by Vero — December 15, 2007 @ 1:31 pm
Hi Jaci! I love your books! Thank you for this blog on sex scenes. I have trouble writing them. I think if I layer the scenes like Janelle was talking about it would take care of some of my difficulty. I want the scenes to be true to the characters and to my writing style. It makes me feel better to know that it can takes days to come up with a good sex scene.
Comment by Stephanie S. — December 15, 2007 @ 2:23 pm
:santahat:
Hi Jaci, Thanks for visiting us here in the jungle. I have no desire to write but love to read. Reading about writing the sex scenes is interesting as some of the books I read it seems so natural and just flows into the story. Others it seems it about the sex which doesn’t make it a favorite read for me. Thanks for the insight. Wild, Wicked & Wanton looks like an interesting book. I’ll have to check into that! :stocking:
mastree:
Cher, I’m so cold & last I checked it was 40 degrees here! My house takes forever to heat up and it is cold inside!! One of my daughters lived in Colorado for over 8 years and she would give me a bad time when I complained about the cold here!! She is in Oregon now so it is a bit warmer there in the winter! :snowmanhead:
I have to go check to see if Leslie has an installment on her online read today. Loving it! :candycane:
Enjoy your Saturday!
Comment by Donna M — December 15, 2007 @ 2:51 pm
Hi, Jaci! I’m with DonnaM–not a writer but read lots, and I really enjoyed your post today. It’s so true that a good sex scene builds from the previous scenes, and isn’t just about the sex! Just like in real life, the best sex scenes are the ones that express how the characters feel about one another
Comment by Fedora — December 15, 2007 @ 3:08 pm
Jaci, Welcome. While I’m not a writer, really enjoyed your discussion of writing what is usually my fave part of Romances–LOL.
In books, one of my fave sex scenes was Leslie’s NATURALLY NAUGHTY, where, after lots of hot, funny, sexy dialogue, the hero beds(?) the heroine on an old movie theater stage by page 66, & the rest of the book is about her trying to avoid him & not fall in love. I loved how he was written as gung-ho, but, she wasn’t (an unusual twist), & that the initial tryst was a springboard for their having a real relationship & falling in love.
In movies, my two faves were the “creating pottery” scene in GHOST (smokin’….), & in COMING HOME, because of his disability, the hero can’t make love, but, he sure makes certain the heroine is satisfied. Showed real love.
Patricia A.
Comment by Patricia — December 15, 2007 @ 4:16 pm
:cold: snow is falling off and on here. Enjoyed your comments about sex scenes. You are right love is more than sex and the sex scenes. I have visited your webiste from moth to month.
singing your praise as your comments were so right on and enjoyed.
Merry Christmas.
Comment by Jane Squires — December 15, 2007 @ 6:48 pm
I have read a few books with ho hum sex scenes.
Comment by Estella — December 15, 2007 @ 6:49 pm
Vero - thank you! Glad you liked the blog, and if you do buy one of my books I certainly hope you enjoy it! :wreath:
Comment by Jaci Burton — December 15, 2007 @ 7:49 pm
Stephanie S - I think every writer who does write sex does it in the way it makes sense for them, and is the most comfortable for them. I tend to write the sex scene viscerally first, imagining it in my head, making it as graphic as possible from start to finish–no holds barred. Then I go back and smooth out the rough edges, layer in the emotion, really think and feel like the characters would. It usually takes two to three passes over a sex scene until it passes for me, and even after the book is finished, I may go over them again. They’re so important!
Donna - thanks for being here today, and for your nice comments. Wild Wicked & Wanton was one of my favorite books to write because it’s all about characters. And there’s a LOT of sex in that book because it’s integral to the plot. Hope you enjoy it!
Fedora - thanks for coming today. I agree. And for me, it’s all about the characters.
Patricia - some of the greatest sex ’scenes’ are when there’s no sex, huh?
Jane - thank you so much! And Merry Christmas to you too!
mastree:
Estella - me too. Nothing worse than a buildup followed by disappointment.
Comment by Jaci Burton — December 15, 2007 @ 8:20 pm
goo d to see u here your books look hot.
Comment by kim h — December 16, 2007 @ 12:54 am
Thanks so much to the Plotmonkeys for having me here!
And thank you all for stopping by to visit me, and for your wonderful, insightful comments.
I wish you all a safe and Happy Holiday season!
mastree:
Comment by Jaci Burton — December 16, 2007 @ 10:19 am