Twenty Years…
I have a major wedding anniversary coming up in about six weeks–my twentieth. I find it pretty wonderful that I’ve now been married to a man I still adore for almost half my life. But I do find it hard to fathom sometimes…twenty years? How can I have been married twenty years when I’m only…when I’m so… Oh, hell, I really am forty-one.
It doesn’t seem like twenty years have gone by. When I look in the mirror, my mind plays tricks on me and I still see that twenty-one year old. The aches and pains in my back or my legs remind me of those years, but my mind still seems the same. My DH and I still laugh at the same stupid jokes, we still enjoy doing the same things. (Some have definitely improved with age.
I think it’s when I look at my kids that the passage of time really slams me in the face. They grew up when I blinked. Julie, Carly and I talked about that on this blog last week and it’s very true, children definitely provide an instant yardstick of the passing of time.
Since we already covered that, I figured I’d share some of the other ways I’ve measured the passage of those years. I’ve been thinking a lot about them since last week when Carly sent a funny chain email around, talking about growing up in the seventies. It came with lots of pictures of stuff I’d forgotten existed, all of which brought an instant sense of warmth and laughter and happy memories. (Who didn’t have Donnie & Marie dolls, or bikes with banana seats, huh? Fess up!)
Slightly off topic–anyone besides me remember Dawn dolls?
I absolutely adored them and have often told my kids about them, remembering them as miniaturized Barbies. Well, I was in Kay Bee last week and lo and behold, there were new Dawn dolls! Part of me was overjoyed. Part of me wondered why nobody can think up an original idea.
Okay, back on topic. Carly’s email reminded me of how things had changed from the first twenty years of my life til now, so I just started to think about what has changed in the second twenty. A few things came immediately to my mind and I thought I’d throw them out there so we can all remind ourselves just how very different things are from a brief twenty years ago.
Note: There are, of course, a ton of political/entertainment/pop culture/history changes, but I’m going to focus strictly on the everyday things that affect(ed) me personally.
1. When Bruce and I were dating, I wore jumpsuits. A lot. And sometimes those thick cloth headbands around my forehead a’ la Flashdance. My hubby wore Members Only jackets and OP corduroy shorts. 
(He actually did look a little like Tom Selleck, which was totally hot. My girls saw a video recently of him wearing some and they almost fell off the couch laughing.) We often rode around in my hubby’s Jeep–with the top off. It was one of the old Wranglers, before they made them “safe” and I quickly learned that one should never attempt to eat an ice cream cone in a topless Jeep while riding on the interstate.
2. We got our first ATM cards around that time, only there was no “Presto” network. They worked only at the machines at the branches of my local, small-town bank.
3. Shortly before we got married, I bought a brand spanking new Honda Civic CRX. An absolutely adorable car that got 60 miles to the gallon. 
Ahem. Yes, you read that right. 60 miles to the gallon. Twenty years later, WHY has no one produced another car that gets 60 miles to the gallon?
4. That car had no air conditioning and no radio. They were options–pricey ones. Do they even sell cars without A.C.’s and stereos now?
5. One of our wedding gifts was a microwave oven that took up half my countertop and was probably big enough to cook an entire side of beef. And the only thing we used it for was to make popcorn, and never stood in front of it while it was running because of those cancer worries.
6. Going to the video store was always an adventure. Not because you had to decide between VHS tapes and DVD’s, but because you had to choose between VHS and Betamax. We had VHS. My parents had a Beta. Very annoying when we wanted to get together to watch rented movies.
7. We got our first desktop computer in 1989. It had an amber monochrome monitor and was about the size of my Honda, and I remember thinking we were hot stuff because it actually came with a HARD drive. (And because it had Wheel of Fortune built right in! Wahoo!) 
Before that, most models came with dual floppy drives (remember those 5 ¼ inch ones that really were floppy?) We couldn’t afford a printer or internet access (not that I really understood the internet anyway.) Hmm, why is it that now, twenty years later, I cannot exist without it? I really did just fine then…actually knew how to use a telephone book or an encyclopedia. Would shop out of real catalogs or in real stores rather than from my living room computer and knew how to pick up a phone and sit patiently while listening to the list of movie times at the local theater. (Was there life before Fandango?)
8. I was terrified during the first Gulf War and I remember sitting in the evenings and watching the TV coverage of the bombs lighting the night sky. The “televised” war was a relatively new thing. I’m not sure to this day whether it was a good one or a bad one.
9. We bought a boat-sized, silver Volvo right around the time minivans started becoming popular. Bought a minivan right around the time SUV’s were revving up. Always just behind the curve, ya know?
10. 1992…umh, the Russians are our friends now?
11. Cell phones. Didn’t have one. Didn’t know anyone who did. Our first was in the early nineties and it was one of these big giant jobs that came with its own carrying suitcase. 
Back then, it didn’t seem to matter so much because there was this thing called an answering machine and when you got home, if the red light was blinking, you’d push a button and find out who had been trying to reach you. And if your kids needed to come home for dinner, you stuck your head outside and yelled for them, you didn’t push a speed dial button on your cell, which instantly connected you to theirs.
12. We had a CD player and cd’s but it wasn’t until probably the mid nineties that they became my exclusive way of listening to music. (And even then, probably only because I couldn’t find a replacement needle for my turntable.) I honestly don’t think my 10 year old has ever actually seen a 33 lp. Who would ever have imagined such a thing as an mp3 player that could put hundreds of downloaded songs in the palm of your hand…weren’t we excited enough by the Sony Walkman that we could take with us to play one whole CD when we went out for a walk?
13. We used to be able to wait at the airport gate when someone was flying in for a visit. How weird does that seem now?
14. Got our second “real” computer in the mid 90’s and we subscribed to AOL. Thus began my love affair with the internet. By 1997, I’d discovered this neat thing called a “message board” and started hanging out there among other people who had the same crazy hobby I did…writing romance novels. One of those people was named Carly Phillips.
15. In 1997, we probably took the kids to 198 birthday parties at Discovery Zone. 
And invariably one of them would scream after landing on a squishy dirty diaper in the ball pit, or would refuse to get out when it was time to leave, requiring me to climb after them through a brightly-colored, padded torture chamber. Every other parent would give a smile of commiseration, since every one of them had had to dive into the ball pit or ride the bumpy slide after a recalcitrant child of their own.
Hmm…out of all of the above, which would I most like to re-live right now? You know, actually that’s easy. What I wouldn’t give for one more afternoon in my hubby’s Jeep–wearing my jumpsuit, sitting beside him in his OP shorts–trying to keep my hair out of my Mint Chocolate Chip as we cruise for hours under a bright blue sky, on an endless road that seemed completely full of possibilities.
Funny…I guess it was.
So what about you? Care to share? You might be surprised by just how different things are today from where they were yesterday…when we were young.
It was like memory lane listening to your post Leslie, it differed slightly. My boyfriend had a 64 chevy malibu SS, he was blond with gorgeous sea green eyes, and we would cruise around cranking REO Speedwagon and Journey. Those were the days,it brings back so many memories some sad but mostly fun and carefree. My daughter is seventeen and and the same age I was when life was so uncomplicated. I think sometimes what it would be like to go back and change things and I realize that it wouldn’t be much.
Comment by Dena — May 29, 2006 @ 8:24 am
Also have a happy anniversary,even though it’s early. I hope you have something planned for that big occasion of twenty years. (d) (f) (l)
Comment by Dena — May 29, 2006 @ 8:26 am
Congrats on 20 years. What lovely memories you mentioned.
I was a product of the 80’s & 90’s - big hair, neon colors, leg warmers, cassette walkmans, VCR’s, bangle bracelets, and a bunch of other stuff that escapes me now. MTV that actually played videos. No TiVo, voicemail, instant messaging. It’s amazing to look back and see what we did without.
Comment by Stacy ~ — May 29, 2006 @ 8:50 am
Although I know for a fact I wouldn’t go back, I do remember everything so well, LOL. I had the first IBM PC computer with a blue background on the screen. Our first internet experience was in 1994 or so … and yes it began with AOL! I remember dot matrix printers and ripping the things off the sides, VERY big hair and leggings, large shirts that we thought were SO cool. SONY walkman … what WERE we thinking that that was the best thing created? Boom Boxes! The first Sony playstation type game where one ball bounced back and forth between two little lines … tennis on a gray screen. Cable or some box that the movie sounds came out of and if you wanted to tape it, my father set up a microphone and nobody was allowed to talk during the movie or your voice would be recorded! OK I still use an answering machine and rely on the voicemail for back up. I can’t believe I ever lived without email.
Comment by Carly — May 29, 2006 @ 10:03 am
Comment by katie — May 29, 2006 @ 10:04 am
Congratulations on 20 years………and thanks for the memories…….
I remember having one of those first big chunky mobile phones, god when you put that baby in your purse you could use it for great self defense (that is if you could swing it). To think how compact they are now. I loved the trip down memory lane………
Comment by Cryna — May 29, 2006 @ 10:12 am
Thanks for the memories, they made me smile and wish for just a moment I could go back and do some of them all over again.
I remember when it was cool to go to Clearwater beach at night with a big group of kids and sit there while someone played guitar. No one thought this was a bad group of kids or some gang to be afraid of.
As a younger kid, we ran around the neighborhood until dinner (always at six) our parents didn’t have to always know exactly where we were just that we were in the neighborhood. The term the hood had not begun yet.
And bottled water!!! No one would have believed that we would actually buy water to drink. It was free why would you ever buy it. Now I couldn’t go a day without my bottled water.
So this is dating me some (I was however very young during this time) but I remember phones that you had to dial it each number around and around the circular pad. It would take forever. And then there was the party line. You could pick up your phone and hear someone else having a conversation. Of course if you were on the phone with one of your friends then one of the adults would always tell you to hang up they needed it.
Slumber parties were popular even in high school. Never be the first to fall asleep…bra in the freezer and sutff
Curfew that was inforced. You couldn’t be out late without your parents ever.
Dating…that did not happen until you turned 16 and then it was subject to double dates.
Make up…oh my, I wasn’t allowed to really wear it until I was a junior in high school (freshman where still in junior high school). If it was on to heavy mom would make me take it off and start again. How many times did I put it on in the bathroom at school and take it off before I came home…countless.
Dated a great guy who was handsome, sweet, and very much a gentleman…decided I needed to date others and he married the girl who sat next to me in choir…Still married as far as I know with something like 6 or 7 kids. Now, I think that’s great if you want to have that many kids but for me…2 was wonderful and I’m glad he married Cheryl.
My first computer was hugh, no internet, scared me to death because I thought I would lose everything all the time. Had to choose between dos and word. But when you went into dos there was this really great game of pinball.
Atria with ping pong was the coolest thing ever.
So there are so many more but alas enough time spent on the past, must get back to the future. More contest packets to judge when I really just want to go to the beach. Why do I wait until the last week to judge????
Hope you have a wonderful anniversary and Happy Memorial Day everyone.
Comment by Vicki — May 29, 2006 @ 10:35 am
First off Congratulations on the upcoming anniversary, Leslie. I’m just a wee bit older than you at 42 and was married at 20. My oldest daughter will be 20 in August and it makes me sick to think she is just about the the same age I was when I married. I think I have an old soul :d
Like you I remember the first (huge) microwave mom and dad bought. It was from Sears and was a Kenmore.
So many of your memories sound just like a page out of my life. I had a Ford Fiesta (Tin can)when I was in college. It went forever on a gallon of gas.
Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a car that got that kind of mpg and an entire family could fit in.
Comment by Gigi — May 29, 2006 @ 10:59 am
Happy Aniversary.
I had a Dawn doll also to go along with my Ken and Barbie dolls.
When I was younger and played outside with my friends my dad would whislte for me and my 2 brothers and everyone in the neighborhood laughed and knew ot was time to go home.
I yell out the door for my son lol.
I still have an answering machine also lol
I used to have the big hair and wore the leggings with the long shirts also lol.
If only we cld back to those days for our children
Comment by Cheryl — May 29, 2006 @ 2:33 pm
I had a banana seat on my bike; and later a three speed. My mother would call me by yelling. My neighbor would call her daughters at the same time every day. I can still hear the names “Deborah, Donna” in my sleep! I had Barbies but I don’t remember Dawn.
My daughter found my old scrapbooks this weekend. I made one that had pics of Robert Scorpio from General Hospital … and guess who’s back on GH after 15 years? And guess who’s kids were ribbing him for being an old man trying to recapture his youth, LOL! I’m loving it.
Comment by Carly — May 29, 2006 @ 2:39 pm
WHAT STAYED THE SAME?
Leslie’s post prompted me to do some COMPARISONS of what in my children’s lives are similar to mine? A little companion to yesterday’s what changed?
1. Their rooms are pig sties.
2. They love to shut their doors and talk to their friends. AlL Night. OK so what if we had the phones w/dial up and they have land lines, cell phones, IM, and text messaging, LOL. They can still disappear for hours on end.
3. They have bikes (without banana seats) but it isn’t really safe for them to go riding.
4. They call me when they need me and expect me to come running – except 99% of the time, their call is via IM from INSIDE our house!
5. Girls are catty and mean and I feel like I’m reliving my youth when I have to help them deal with their problems! (which is why you couldn’t pay me to relive those olden days!!!)
6. Stuffed animals, piles and piles of them (so they have Build a Bear and TY and we had … I don’t remember) but mine were named Waldorf and one of my kids’ was Teddy and Mr. Chimpy.
7. Baseball cards – both of my kids have had their spurts collecting them. I did too. But I also remember the Wacky Packs as being HUGE and though I see them in stores now, nobody I know of cares.
8. We collected Stationery. We had a stationery store. I used to pray for good stationery to trade with friends. That and matching stickers. My kids actually don’t do this. Maybe it belongs on Les’ list.
Comment by Carly — May 29, 2006 @ 2:55 pm
yes bad perms and baggy pants lol :d
Comment by kim h — May 29, 2006 @ 5:05 pm
Try looking back on 60+ years. Oh my God, the things you had the I didn’t.
No microwaves,tv, we didn’t even have a phome until I was a teenager. The phone company didn’t put up lines out in the country. Manual typewriters, fountain pens for penmanship class, etc.
Comment by Estella Kissell — May 29, 2006 @ 5:56 pm
Congrats on your upcoming anniversary. 20 years is amazing.
Comment by Kelley — May 29, 2006 @ 6:11 pm
Wow, Leslie, you take me back! Great post. I remember the Dawn dolls. But Barbies were better.. 8)
Happy Anniversary! Celebrate and enjoy yourself!
Comment by PattiF — May 29, 2006 @ 7:09 pm
like I told my kids, LOL i had it made! no cell phone ,when i was late , moma couldnt call and tell me, you are out past 10/11 oclock
no pagers
i actually listen to a 8 track player and got laughed at , cause i didnt listen to cassestte player
I some times wonder if my hair going grey is as result of all the damage I done to it in the 80’s (i mean im more grey than my mother)
leg warmer (never understood, legs wasnt really cold :s )
trying to pull on a pair of blue jeans that was so straight legged ,had to holler for help to get over feet
the constant tugging at the the off the shoulder shirts
blue AND white eyeshadow
i was 20 before i even played a nintendo game , duck hunt (the jackass made fun of me and didnt know it, about how good i was)
:s
didnt even have a mirco wave till i was 24
Comment by blackroze37 — May 29, 2006 @ 7:30 pm
I am 43. I LOVED Dawn dolls. I have one left from my childhood. I keep her in our china cabinet. I also had the Dawn modeling ramp-that never worked! I a had the Dawn doll mirror, as well. I carried that around until I was 15! Best wishes for a very happy anniversery. My husband Joe and I will be celebrating our 20th in about 2 weeks as well.
Sue Mont
Comment by Sue Mont — May 29, 2006 @ 9:02 pm
Blue and white eyeshadow! That’s a blast from the past! I remember that well.
I didn’t have a Dawn doll. Don’t remember them. I did have a Malibu Barbie and her sister, Skipper.
Remember Candies shoes?
My first car was a Toyota Corolla. I have no idea of the gas mileage, but I’m pretty sure it was good. My second car was a Celica. It wasn’t until my third car–a Chevy Blazer–that I realized what bad mileage was!
I had leather pants. And a leather jacket. And a leather skirt. I will be writing about those this week…in one of those great minds think alike moments! My leather was very “Thriller.”
Anyone else remember how pantyhose matched whatever you were wearing? I had it in all colors. I remember this one mustard color that went with this one outfit. And pumps in every color under the rainbow. (Remember, I wore a uniform to school…we dressed UP on the weekends.) Miniskirts with pumps. What streetwalkers we must have looked like, LOL!
I still have my leg warmers, btw. My neighbor borrowed them a few months ago for an 80s party. I loved those!!
Comment by Julie — May 29, 2006 @ 9:13 pm
Thanks for the memories. A very Happy 20th Anniversary. (f)
Most of you are all very young–I have a daughter that is 42! I lived in a valley & did not have TV at home until I was 13 when my town got its own station–1 station you watched whatever was on & thought it was wonderful or you didn’t watch it! I could go on & on!
I hope everyone took a moment to remember our veterans. The Memorial Park in a town near me puts out 1,000 flags on Memorial Day. Today my youngest daughter, her son & I went to see the flags. It was an awesome sight to see all those flags in the breeze. I spoke to a “retarded Navy vet”, his words, that served in WWII, Korea & Vietnam. That is a record to be proud of. He was a nice man with a great sense of humor & spoke very fondly of his wife of over 60 years. Awesome!
Leslie I hope you get another 40 years together, just think of the memories.
Comment by Donna M — May 30, 2006 @ 2:17 am
I loved reading everyone’s comments–funny how many of us remember the same things! Can’t believe I didn’t mention the perms and the shoulder pads.
And yeah, I guess some things do always stay the same. For instance, my two youngest girls and I sat at the kitchen table and played monopoly all afternoon yesterday. Too funny.
Leslie
Comment by Leslie Kelly — May 30, 2006 @ 9:41 am
Ah, man, you brought me back. My kids still marvel that I can’t seem to operate anything digital and that I didn’t have a cell phone, laptop or DVD player growing up … Hell, I didn’t even have a push button phone, lol!
Comment by Jill — May 30, 2006 @ 10:33 am
Man on man that was quite a trip down memory lane!
I’m 40 now and my younger sister and I had a whole collection of Dawn dolls. We loved them!
Congrats on your 20th anniversary! (f) My hubby and I are celebrating our 18th this year! Time does fly - my son just turned 17 and he’s driving alone (and with his friends) now. That sure does make a gal feel old.
Comment by Carolyn A. — May 30, 2006 @ 12:37 pm
Leslie I was wondering if you read these posts because I have to tell you I read “That’s Amore” over the weekend and loved it.
I am currently reading “She Drives Me Crazy” and lovin it
Comment by Cherylann — May 30, 2006 @ 1:35 pm
Whoops! My daughter will be 42–she would never forgive me for that if she saw it!!!!
Her birthday is not until late December after Christmas, then she will be 42. I was tired folks–okay!
Comment by Donna M — May 30, 2006 @ 2:47 pm
Hey Cherylann, you bet I read these posts. Thanks SO much! I’m so glad you liked That’s Amore & are enjoying SDMC.
If you’re interested in more of the Santori family, my December Blaze, DON’T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS, was about Lucas’s brother, Mark. And my upcoming October one is about the sister, Lottie.
Thanks again!
Leslie
Comment by Leslie Kelly — May 30, 2006 @ 2:50 pm
Hi Leslie,
Thanks so much I will check those out
Cherylamm
Comment by Cherylann — May 31, 2006 @ 1:47 pm
Leslie,
Congrats in advance on your 20th anniversary! I loved the story you told on Mother’s Day about how sensitively your husband defended you when his mother questioned if you two would ever have a son (hard to imagine). As someone whose first child was a Down’s Syndrome daughter (& what a blessing she turned out to be), I know how problematic it is to have a healthy child, whatever the sex. Bruce’s words couldn’t have been more sensitive, sweet & caring. You are truly blessed to have that love for almost 20 years.
Patricia
Comment by Patricia — May 31, 2006 @ 5:45 pm
Weren’t the Dawn dolls the ones you could make their hair longer, then shorter? I remember them being bigger than Barbies.
I wanted Candies SO BAD!
And I remember the AOL message boards - I remember when Carly made her first sale to Precious Gems!
Comment by Mary — June 7, 2006 @ 11:41 pm
I used to think I was the only one who remembered Dawn Dolls! I also remember Velvet and Cinnamon–the dolls that grew hair when you pushed in their belly button! I had a Cher doll too!
Comment by Sharon — October 25, 2006 @ 5:18 pm
Urgh. I just had to comment about the dirty diaper in the ball pit. I’ve done just that after chasing my beloved. And it must have been at the further point, with the nastiest trip back to the exit. It just made me relive it - yeurgh. You don’t have a smiley for *that* emotion.
Comment by Ellie — November 24, 2006 @ 11:31 pm