Plot Monkeys

Writing Dialogue: Part II

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 1st, 2007 at 6:00 am and is filed under Leslie. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

27 Comments

When my son was in highschool - and whipped by the girlfriend from hell, he watched Gilmore Girls all the time with her. I’ve only seen it a few times but I always thought it was cute so I’ll go find the DVD.

You did an amazing job with converting the dialogue to book form. I’m just not sure I’ll ever be able to do that. I’m feeling very, very, very discouraged this morning so maybe I’ll try this exercise in a few days and see how I feel then.

Thanks for the taking the time to do this. You guys are so busy with your own writing and I know lots of us truly appreciate all the time you take to do these for us on Saturdays. Thank you!!

Hope everyone has a great, safe weekend! Hubby wants to go to the river - and what hubby wants, hubby gets - I’ll just take Joel and plenty to drink and somehow I’ll get through it!! (all of his family, under one roof)…Katie…do you feel my pain?

Comment by Jodie — September 1, 2007 @ 9:16 am
Eeeek Jodie, I think everyone feels your pain

Leslie that was great!! I will definitely give this exercise a try, especially since dialogue seems to be a little sticky for me, I was told I use too much narrative.

Thanks so much for all your guidance, it is really appreciated!

Comment by Tina Martinesi — September 1, 2007 @ 9:37 am
Leslie, you have a gift…I LOVE, and when I say LOVE, I mean LOVE Gilmore Girls…I started watching it at it’s inception and I recall the scene you rewrote with clarity…You did a tremendous job describing the setting and the feelings so well, that I could actually see the scene play out in my mind…I wish that I could write like that…one day…I love these lessons on writing and this weeks is no exception…I am learning alot, which I hope to use soon…I don’t see myself as a romance writer, though…I don’t think that I would be able to pull it off…You are awesome as are all the rest of the …I hope that everyone is having a wonderful Labor Day weekend…I haven’t made it to the Woodstock Fair and I don’t think that I will this year…oh well, there is always next year right?

Peace and love,

Comment by Paula R. — September 1, 2007 @ 9:45 am
Great blog. I love the way that you layered in all of the details from the basis dialogue. You brought the scene to life and that’s why I love to read.

Diaolgue is the hardest part of writing in my opinion. I am going to go back to my wip and take your tips to compare to make sure that I am following the proper procedure.

Leslie you and the othe plotmonkeys have such amazing talents. You all inspire me to be a better writer. THANK YOU for these Saturday lessons. They are helping me more than you can know.

Have a great Labor Day weekend.

Comment by Patty L. — September 1, 2007 @ 10:29 am
Tina - that’s one of my struggles - how much narrative is necessary and how much is too much. I’ve gone through a bunch of books and highlighted and underlined and tried to study and break it down and you know what? I still don’t know.

It’s all so arbitrary. It’s like being back in marketing again and trying to figure out how to break the rules but still live in them.

I had scene critiqued on RWA online site and one of the authors commented on how the hero wouldn’t have noticed if the heroine’s eyes were warm and smokey or cold and calculating. She said that guys don’t think that way.

So I pulled out Nymph King and read where the hero noticed the heroine’s “angelic face”, “luscious little lips” and “daintily sloped nose.” And how her skin was “smooth and luminous”, “ethereal”.

Comment by Jodie — September 1, 2007 @ 10:35 am
I’m really inpressed how great you converted a normal dialogue into a great book scene. I think I’m not that good at it but I’ll give it a try. I think we all can learn from you and i really do appreciate that you put time and effort into that to show us how it is done properly. Thanks from all of us not so talented writers.
By the way, just ordered “overexposed” at the book store but I am from Germany and the sales person told me that it has to be imported from the United States and it can take up to 6 weeks till I’ll get it. I’m already counting days…

Comment by vero — September 1, 2007 @ 10:59 am
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Gilmore Girls and I’m so sad that the show has come off the air. I watched the last two seasons and this summer I caught up on the first 3 or 4 or I cant remember. I still have a couple left to watch. Sigh, so good.

Comment by Emily — September 1, 2007 @ 11:15 am
Thank you Leslie! You’ve made their exchange leap off the page, which is something I aspire to. I really appreciate these Saturday posts - I’m learning so much from you guys. Dialogue comes easier to me than layering so this will be a good exercise for me to try!

Comment by Robin — September 1, 2007 @ 11:33 am
I’m so glad this is helpful! I used to be a big proponent of writing exercises…did a workshop just on different ones I used when I was first starting to write. Maybe I’ll try to find it and dust it off. Some of them were pretty fun.

Not much time for them now, but I do have to say they can be very helpful!

Comment by Leslie — September 1, 2007 @ 12:00 pm
Jodie…sorry to hear about the doubts and self-questioning. That’s very common in this business, even for those of us who have 30 books under our belt (cough cough…I seriously thought about trying to get a full time job this week and just giving up…cough cough…then Bruce snapped me out of it!)

As for your experiences with what contest judges say and what you see in books…TRUST YOURSELF!! Trust your own instincts!! I never entered contests pre-pubbed and I am very glad I didn’t. It’s easy for judges to say “these are the rules, you broke rule 3, 7, 11, 42…” But I’m telling you (and we’ve all said it) in romance writing, beyond making sure your h/H have a HEA and you don’t abuse puppies or babies, THERE ARE NO RULES!

Write a killer story with fabulous characters and the editor is just not going to give a crap if the hero thinks the heroine’s eyes are smokey. And if she does, she’ll edit it! But don’t let things like that derail you.

Honestly, as a reader, things that truly leap off the page as being something a character would or wouldn’t think/do or say (especially “guy” characters) do bother me. But never enough to stop me from reading on if I’m really into the story. And I don’t for one second believe they’d be enough to stop you from selling if you wrote a damn good story.

Lecture done.

Comment by Leslie — September 1, 2007 @ 12:05 pm
Yahoo LESLIE!

“OVEREXPOSED” available everywhere here in R.I.

I now am the proud owner of two books and ready to devour

the canolli, end to end, before the day is thru.

Comment by jeannie — September 1, 2007 @ 12:07 pm
lol Jeannie…have fun! And, probably you should wear asbestos gloves. I’m hearing from readers and reviewers who say it’s one of the hottest Blazes they’ve ever read. (Who, me? )

Comment by Leslie — September 1, 2007 @ 12:10 pm
Oh My Lord,

You can’t get a job.

You need to write.

You will survive just fine.

Thanks Bruce for “snapping her out of it”

I’ll let you know tomorrow how I like OVEREXPOSED.

jeannie &

Comment by jeannie — September 1, 2007 @ 12:14 pm
Jodie wrote:

had scene critiqued on RWA online site and one of the authors commented on how the hero wouldn’t have noticed if the heroine’s eyes were warm and smokey or cold and calculating. She said that guys don’t think that way

That’s a matter of opinion, isn’t it? I mean…if the guy is a cop, for instance, and he would most certainly be looking at a woman’s eyes and making judgments. Hell, any man might. People judge each other by our expressions, body language, looks…that’s how fiction is written.

I think that some authors do frame things in words that are too girly, but I don’t find the words “warm” “smoky” “cold” or “calculating” as girly words, so I think you’re just fine.

It’s all in the way you say it, I think. Guys do think differently than girls. Hmmm…could be another interesting blog topic.

Comment by Julie Leto — September 1, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
Leslie Got my Ove Gloves on!

Comment by jeannie — September 1, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
Meant to also give Leslie a huge SHOUT OUT for putting this blog up today!!!

Comment by Julie Leto — September 1, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
Thanks Leslie and Julie!! It’s funny because I loved Nymph King and have been disecting it to study. The first time I read it I didn’t notice him using girly descriptions so that’s why I went back and pulled it out to see how he “saw” the heroine. When I read those descriptions I was like because warm and smokey certainly didn’t sound girly compared to those - especially after she’d downed a half bottle of liquor!

Big sigh…it’s nice to know that even you guys have doubts once in a while. Maybe I’ll go down half a bottle and see if inspiration (or more courage) strikes!!

Thanks Bruce!! From one very grateful reader for snapping Leslie out of it!!!

Comment by Jodie — September 1, 2007 @ 12:59 pm
Jodie, I haven’t read Nymph King yet (it’s on my TBR…very high up!) but I’ve read Gena’s other books and she writes GREAT guys. She definitely knows her male POV. She’s a great author to study.

Comment by Julie Leto — September 1, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
Great blog. I like your book version better—-have never seen Gilmore Girls.

Comment by Estella — September 1, 2007 @ 2:50 pm
The first time I’d ever heard of Gena was when she guest blogged here. Since then I’ve read a lot of her books and have enjoyed all of them, but there was something about Nymph King that I absolutely loved.

Comment by Jodie — September 1, 2007 @ 5:11 pm
Okay Jodie you hooked me I’m buying Nymph King

Comment by jeannie and zoey — September 1, 2007 @ 5:34 pm
Hmmmm….wonder if it has anything to do with the delicious cover?

Comment by Julie Leto — September 1, 2007 @ 5:55 pm
Oh yeah, on the cover, Julie!

Our Leslie Kelly is one

of romance writing’s pros

Her September release

is titled “OVEREXPOSED”

It’s sizzling and sexy

as you’ll certainly see

There’s even a scene

That re-defines Canolli

So go buy “overexposed”

it’s a great romantic read

Let’s let our Leslie Kelly know

She writes just what we need

Comment by jeannie and zoey — September 1, 2007 @ 9:36 pm
Hilarious! I’ve seen the episode. Have all six seasons on DVD and waiting impatiently for season seven. I think you definately captured Lorelai’s thoughts. Suki’s reaction was so great.

Comment by Kerryn — September 1, 2007 @ 9:40 pm
OMG JEANNIE! LOLOLOLOL!!!

You are TOOOOOOOO funny!

Comment by Leslie — September 1, 2007 @ 11:13 pm
lol, Jeannie, I love that you are now known as Jeannie and Zoey!!!

Jodie you sold me, I’ll have to check out Nymph King…I think Gena is going to owe you for promoting her book…lol

Leslie, I finally got Overexposed and I’m sooooo excited!!! I’m in the middle of a Jude Deveraux book now but I’m anxious to finally read the canolli book….As a matter of fact, I was visiting with family today and my cousin came in with canolli’s and all I could think about was you!!!!! I didn’t even read it yet and already I associate you with canolli’s

Comment by Tina Martinesi — September 1, 2007 @ 11:43 pm
lol Tina! Let me know just how hungry you are for cannolis once you read the book.

Comment by Leslie — September 2, 2007 @ 8:41 pm