As a former Other Woman, I can tell you that both men and women cheat for all the reasons you mention above and then others they come up with on their own. I’ve always felt that women do hold women to a harsher standard and we have a tendency to judge each other more acutely than men. It is almost like we do, in fact, expect it from them and can’t really blame them for being men.

I don’t know if you will delete this, but I can tell you that I NEVER tried to break up a happy home. I knew from the beginning that he was married and had children. I never called his home or even knew the number. I never called his mobile unless I was returning a call and I absolutely knew he was alone. When he would try to tell me he was in an unhappy marriage, I would stop him and tell him that there was no need to lie. He never spent a single night away from his home and we never had any dramatic tipping point (i.e. discovery, ultimatums, fake or real pregnancies, etc.).

He filed for his divorce two months after we met. He and his wife were partners in a medical practice and not only did she take half of all of their community property, she also enforced a “no-compete” clause that prevented him from working in the area for three years. A year after his divorce, we were married and we have remained so for 9 years. We lived off of my income and (half of) his savings for those initial three years.

His ex-wife to this day does not know that he was unfaithful, nor do his children or anyone in his family (parents or siblings). However, I have never attempted to forge any friendship with her because I would always feel ackward confiding in her or having her confide in me.

Do I regret it? NO! I love him and our children.
Do I trust him? YES! He never lied to me, I knew from the beginning.
Do I wonder if he cheats on me? NEVER! I trust him implicitly. I always have. I would never have married him if I didn’t.

As far as GREY’s-I think George and Izzie should keep their mouths shut. Why hurt an innocent woman to wash themselves of their guilt? They are the ones that need to live with the outcome of their actions.

Anyhow-I can tell you are a close-knit group of friends. It is not my intent to offend anyone here. I read this blog and I was engrossed by the banter and the stories and wanted to share mine with you. I only wanted to point out that all stories are different and not every Other Woman wants to wreak destruction and chaos upon unsuspecting wifes and families. Sometimes, we really can’t help who we fall in love with.

Wow, this has been such a great day of conversation! I know we usually keep things a bit lighter on here, and it wasn’t my intention to get all deep and controversial, but I’m so glad we got to talk and even got to know a little more about each other! So thanks to everyone who chatted!!!!

My ex was a cheat. It’s really sad when you know it (on many different levels many different times), but don’t have proof, and they tell you that it’s all your imagination… Anyway, I finally dumped the loser, the only good things I ever got from him are my precious kiddo’s. Proof came when I found phone calls on my phone bill - after I had already filed for divorce. Turns out this girl KNEW he was married, WORKED with him, and then decided she didn’t want him when she found out we were getting divorced. :cry: She moved on to her next married pray I heard. Served him right. (Oh, I don’t sound bitter do I???) Really, I’m over it now and just slap myself upside the head for being stupid for so long. Point being here is that he was looking and she was too. The fact she knew he was married made it worse for me. Absolutely no remorse what so ever about it.

However, since our divorce, 13 years ago, he has been married twice. The second wife told him she was gay, and moved in with her girlfriend (He drove her to another gender!). Less than 2 months after the divorce was final, she was no longer gay…

The third wife (the infant child 16 years younger) he “had” to marry because he doesn’t know enough to use protection - the dimwit! Guess how long that one lasted?

To this day, he doesn’t ever think any of his relationship woes are his fault. I see a pattern, call me crazy.

Kelly F. - I had a similar experience. I knew I was making a huge mistake the first time I got married I just didn’t know how to stop it. The night before I cried and cried. My Mom even said, “You know, you don’t have to do this” but I kept telling myself it was just nerves. What an idiot I was!

I remember when I got as far as standing next to him that I was sure someone would stop it when it came time for objections. Because, like you, everyone knew it was a mistake, but noone saved me. But, I did get a wonderful son that I absolutely adore out of it.

And he was such a shmuck! She should have been elated!!

I was curious what the writers think of the writing on “Grey’s”? do you think it has gone down hill? I think so. They just seem to do one thing and then, poof, off to something else or everyone is cured (for example, would Meredith really be back at work three days after her near death, would all of those injured people on the ferry, just disappear?). It’s fine if they want to focus on something else, just mention ‘oh, well, we’re overloaded because of all of the ferry injuries”. I do realize that this is TV, but that was a MAJOR disaster!