Cheaters Never Win!
It’s official. I hate Izzie Stevens.
For those of you who watch Grey’s Anatomy, you know why. For those of you who don’t…well, let’s just say she’s been going downhill ever since the whole Denny storyline and she just totally went beyond redemption Thursday night when she slept with the married-to-Callie-who-I-adore George!
You know what’s funny, though? I don’t hate George…(as much!) And yet he’s the one who cheated! Isn’t that weird? I mean, I am SO mad at him, and I really want Callie to KICK HIS BUTT! But I want to see hikm suffer…like, realize he truly does love Callie and walk through fire and be just tortured as he tries to get her back. Essentially, I want to see what happens next and how he gets himself out of this mess.
But Izzie? Hate her. Loathe her. Detest her. Wish she’d leave the show and never come back.
Because she broke the code.
Maybe that’s not so unusual for a woman to feel that way about “the other woman.” Whenever I hear of someone who’s been cheated on, I blame the husband for being a dickwad, but the other woman gets the brunt of my venom. I know it’s terribly sexist–and probably not fair–but I almost hold women up to a higher standard. Not that I believe the b.s. that men are just instinctively bred to cheat…that’s an excuse and I don’t believe it for a minute. Not all men cheat, by any means, and I am quite sure many of them are faithful to their wives forever. (Like mine and all the other lucky Plotmonkeys!) But there’s just something about the sister-of-womanhood philosophy that makes me righteously indignant when one of them poaches on another one’s man.
It’s not that I think the other woman is more to blame than the man who cheats. I don’t. He’s the one who made the vow, he’s the one who broke it, therefore, he is most to blame.
BUT…the other woman is the one I despise more overall.
I think the only way I can explain it is like this: a man vows to love and cherish & be faithful to a woman on the day he marries her. He promised her. And if he is enough of a creep to break that promise, she is the one he has hurt and betrayed.
But the other woman could have poached on any other woman’s husband. Mine…or yours. So she’s an enemy to all of us.
Does that make any sense?
A very good friend of mine was cheated on. Her hubby took up with her best friend (who was also a friend of mine.) It ruined two marriages. It was just ugly. And I totally blew off the hubby as trash on whom I didn’t need to expend one moment of thought or energy. The former best friend wasn’t as easy to forget. I just stewed and honestly (in Regency terms) gave her the “cut direct” whenever I saw her. IE–I saw the husband once or twice and wasn’t exactly warm, but I didn’t glare him straight to hell, either. The woman? Oh, man, she had to feel the fire of my wrath from a hundred feet away at the third grade musical performance at the elementary school where her son was in class with my daughter!
Basically, if one of my bff’s hubbies cheated I would be the first one to buy a voodoo doll and stick pins in his nether regions with my gal pals on a you-will-survive Friday night out.
But for the woman he cheated with…I’d buy two voodoo dolls.
So what does everyone else think? Am I alone in blaming the man but loathing the woman?
PS: I do realize women cheat, too…I apologize to any male visitors for this totally-chick-post today!
I don’t know, I’ve always despised the spouse who cheats more, man or woman, because of the vows he/she took when they married. I’ve never understood why just “the other woman” was treated like the instigator and troublemaker when it takes two to cheat. I don’t buy the story about the poor, misunderstood man whose wife doesn’t understand him is vulnerable and seduced by the evil devil woman. Nah uh. I believe they are both to blame. But hey, that’s just me.
Comment by Stacy ~ — March 20, 2007 @ 6:21 am
Yeah, I’m with Stacy on this one. I can’t look at a guy who cheats. I can’t talk to him. I think that if you make a vow and you love someone, it’s your job to resist all temptation (like chocolate). Same for women. You can look, you can privately drool, (as my Mom says, you’d be dead if you didn’t look!) but if your feelings change for the person you are with or married to, walk away BEFORE you cheat. You owe them that much respect. As for George, I never liked him much to begin with. I thought he was spineless and insecure and I think it even more now. Blech. Phooey. As for Izzy, I’ve been disappointed in her with the whole George and Callie storyline. Once George married her, the deal was done. SHUT UP and just be there for your friend and don’t try to undermine his marriage. It sucks. There’s no excuse for it. I hate what the writers turned Izzy into. But I hate George more. Because those were HIS vows. (Oh and while we’re on the subject, I hate him for what he said/implied to Callie when Callie (his wife and the woman he supposedly loves) said Izzy wanted him. George said basically, while laughing, that Izzy wouldnt’ want HIM because Izzy’s a gorgeous blonde model and a woman like her wouldn’t want him. And his wife, Callie, who he supposedly loves, looked at him and says, then what does that say about me? GET THE HELL OUT. I applauded her. So as much as Les hates Izzy, I hate George.
AND I HATE THE MAN WHO CHEATS MOST.
Good topic, LOL.
Comment by Carly — March 20, 2007 @ 6:53 am
Well, let me stress, like I said in my post, I know the married person is the most to blame–because he made the vow. That wasn’t really what I was saying.
I’m not really talking about blame, more about my reaction. He’s to blame…and I hate him. But her? Well…she could have done it to *anyone* (including me) so her I loathe! See?
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 7:37 am
I agree with Stacy too. I hate my ex just as much as my ex best friend. Although, after all these years, I am damn well grateful he knocked her up and I got out. Got a much better thing now in my life that I ever would have.
As for Callie/George/Izzie- first, anyone notice that the gay guy on the show is getting more tail that the rest of them??? That was crudely put, but just think about it. I find it hilarious.
Secondly- George is about to meet Callies dad (next week), played by Hecto Elizondo, who is referred to in TV Guid as George’s worst nightmare.
Comment by ev — March 20, 2007 @ 7:42 am
Oh, Ev, I’m sorry, I obviously had no idea. So you are a first-hand witness to this.
I guess your reaction was slightly different than my friend’s. She hates & blames her husband, but she can hear his name without the top of her head blowing off. The other woman? Huh uh. That she has never–will never–get over. Because they really were best friends. Families were best friends who vacationed together. Their little boys were best friends. It was just the ugliest thing you can imagine. One woman going to her bff and telling her how unhappy she was, how something was wrong with her marriage, asking for advice–and getting it–on how to improve things with her hubby. All the while this woman’s sleeping with him. The woman is the one my friend hates more, no doubt about it. Because it was a double-betrayal, and she was absolutely humiliated by her.
I hadn’t seen that about Callie’s father–that’s great!
And I guess I should point out (as my hubby did last night!) that I hated Izzie long before last Thursday. Hated the way she made Meredith almost dying into an “I know George shouldn’t have married Callie” moment and just about everything else she’s done on the show in the past year!
But removing Izzie & George, removing my friend’s situation…removing any couple I know, and looking at it societally. I still hate men who cheat on their wives…but I hate women who steal other women’s husbands a little bit more.
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 7:59 am
It doesn’t bother me anymore, believe me. I really found the silver lining in that disaster.
I can totally understand your friends feelings- my former bff had told me she was having an affair with a married man. I was too stupid to put one and one together and come up with 3.
But I have had my revenge over the years with both of them and somewhat satisfyingly I might add. Which is probably why I don’t let it bother me any more.
The ex is on wife #3, which has lasted years. But then he married a lawyer. LOL I look at what he is now and what I may have had to put up with had we still been married. (it would be almost 30 years too. ick.)
My best revenge- he was in the Air Guard at the same base my armory was located. He was a Sgt. I was a Warrant Officer. he would, literally, go out a door to avoid me and having to salute. Even better, everyone on base knew about it and had a great laugh at his expense.
God I miss the good times!!!!:thumbsup2:
Comment by ev — March 20, 2007 @ 8:09 am
>>But I have had my revenge over the years with both of them and somewhat satisfyingly I might add. Which is probably why I don’t let it bother me any more.<<
Sounds like a good drinking-with-girlfriends story! Again, Ev, I really am sorry, but I’m glad you came out the other end of that tunnel. And I sincerely hope one day my friend will be as philosophical about it–and happy–as you are!
BTW…yikes, I just realized the word “hate” is flying all over the place here today. Sorry all!
PS: Carly–as you know, I didn’t see all of Grey’s the other night since I had to go to the airport, so I missed the part where George said that to Callie. What a pig!
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 8:15 am
Guys who cheat suck. But Karma comes around to the other woman .. back in the newly post college days, my ex ended up going on a road trip for two weeks w/ some girl ge knew via the internet and was Friends with - tons of guy friends myself, i was like no big deal
little did I know … so he dumped me for her … but karma rocks … I heard that he was on his way to visit her and met some girl on the train and dumped the girl I got dumped for - for the girl on the train. 
As far as greys’ goes. I HATE Izzy … she’s been out to ruin that relationship since day one. And she was horrible to Meredith when she slept with George/when she found out about her and McDreamy, etc. So I hope it comes back to her. Not impressed with George:thumbsdown: but I’m sure he’ll suffer this week. yes new Greys’ this week for those who thought it was a repeat.
Yes, I know I need to find a life ….
Comment by Yolanda — March 20, 2007 @ 8:23 am
I guess Ev and I have something in common. My first husband the one I wish I hadn’t married to begin with, cheated on me. You know when an ex boyfriend shows up the night before your impending wedding to whisk you up north and miss the wedding that something isn’t right. I just wish I had the nerve back then to stand up for myself and leave without worrying about all the money my parents had shelled out for said wedding. Honestly I knew I shouldn’t have gone through with it, I just didn’t know how to stop it from happening.
Fast forward 7 months later, and my family & friends spying on him while he worked second shift. Rumor had it he was bagging my COUSIN! So we split then he ends up with my ex best friend! I am with Leslie on this one…I go after the men stealing women. Even though I know my ex is to blame. Great topic Leslie.
Comment by Kelly F. — March 20, 2007 @ 8:45 am
I’m with Leslie, too. I don’t know why…do I have a lower standard for men? No, I don’t think that’s it…but I do think that women who play into the destruction of a marriage–esp. one with kids–are the lowest of the low. If you want to stray, get a damned divorce first and don’t put your spouse through the humiliation of infidelity. That is so cruel. I don’t understand it.
Men who cheat–scum. No questions asked. Women who cheat? Betrayers of their gender. Women should know better. We should have more self-respect. Maybe that’s the bottom line. Women who cheat with married men remind us of the pathetic element of our entire gender and that’s sad. That’s what gets me about Izzy…she used to be a strong female character in the beginning and now she’s a big, insecure wimp. I hate that!
Comment by Julie Leto — March 20, 2007 @ 9:06 am
Wow!
Ev - I’m so happy that you can see the bright side now. My sister-in-law went through the same thing and 8 years later she still can’t get past it and see how much better of she is now. She carries so much hatred around with her, that I really worry about her health!
My dad did the same thing to my mom. My mom told her “the most painful thing I ever went through in my life turned out to be a huge blessing.”
Leslie - what if it’s a married woman who cheats with a guy who isn’t married? Obviously, they’re both at fault. I personally feel the married person is more responsible and why would someone want to be with a cheater in the first place. But, in that case, do you loathe the woman who broke her vows, or the guy more?
Comment by Jodie — March 20, 2007 @ 9:09 am
Grey’s Anatomy would not be a show without George and Izzy. I will admit that they both have done stupid things. I still think that Izzy and Alex will hook up again, especially now that they live together. Unless the whole George thing works out. I hate it when husbands cheat on their wives, but if the marriage wasn’t working then it was meant to happen one way or another. Don’t get me wrong, I still say it is totally wrong, but it still happens for a reason. If you guys think that what George did is wrong, then why is the Chief wrong for cheating on his wife or Addison and Derek or McSteamy for that matter. It wouldn’t be a TV Show if things didn’t go wrong, it would just be a boring TV Show where everyone was happy. I love this show and hope things will work out the way they were meant too.
Comment by Mary — March 20, 2007 @ 9:10 am
Love your chick post today! I was the wife whose husband cheated on her. While I was furious with my husband I took him back - until he did it again. (I don’t make the same mistake twice). The other woman - I kept looking for every time I got behind the wheel of my car!
Comment by Barbara-Jo — March 20, 2007 @ 9:20 am
I agree that Izzy was so wrong to get with George, but he is the one that is married on the show. He was a total butthead to Callie and she is going to kick his butt when she finds out(which she will). I do have to say I saw it coming a mile away, but they are both equally jerks. I think once you take your marriage vows you are scum if you cheat. If you decide you want to be with someone else, get a divorce. It only hurts everyone else in the family(ies) if you don’t. I am speaking from first hand experience here too. My dad’s ex-wife cheated on him and busted up what was a pretty good blended family. I do hold her more responsible than the guy she cheated with because her 1st husband cheated on her. She know how if felt and still hurt my dad without worrying about the outcome. Lucky for him he got out and she is still waiting 12 years later for the guy to marry her.
Comment by Liza — March 20, 2007 @ 9:25 am
I have to agree with Leslie. I have no respect for a man that cheats. If you have the urge to cheat, divorce, simple as that. As for the woman that he cheats with, slut. I have a neighbor who cheated on his wife, after the divorce he had his new girlfriend (now wife) move in. No one talks to them. She has to feel snubbed, I would, but nobody talks to her or even acknowledges her. They are never invited to anything that we do in the neighborhood.
Comment by Patty L. — March 20, 2007 @ 10:32 am
Wow, lots of cool discussion and opinions! I guess this really was a hot button topic.
Jodie–that’s an excellent question, and my answer is going to be a long one.
If I really sit back and think about it, I have to say I’m terribly, horrribly, viciously sexist in one way: I think in *most* cases, women are able to understand the emotional implications of what they are doing more a little bit better than men. A lot of men cheat and excuse themselves by saying “it was just sex, it didn’t mean anything.” They can separate the emotion out of the act, and for them, it just doesn’t seem like as much a betrayal because it’s’ “just sex”. (I know I am making broad, sweeping generalizations here and there are tons of men who are not like this!) But women tend to associate sex with emotion…that’s why sexy *romance* novels work for women while straight porn often does not.
Totally generalizing still…
A man can have an affair just to get off while still thinking he loves his wife and can stay with her because, again, it was “just sex.”
A woman, on the other hand, who has an affair, is going to justify it to herself emotionally. She won’t think it’s just sex, her emotions will be involved and she will want *more* than just the sex. She maybe wants a relationship, love, the marriage she sees that he has with someone else.
So (getting back to my point) I think a woman who cheats–either with a married man, or cheats on her spouse herself, is the one a tiniest half-step higher on the scumbag charts–because she knows that she is emotionally cheating, not just physically.
Now, I am probably dating myself with this opinion, which does not, at all, mesh with the “don’t date, just hook up” philosophy that seems so common today. I guess teenagers & young girls don’t equate sex with emotion anymore…then again, they’re not the ones we’re talking about because they’re not usually married!
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 10:51 am
Mary–
I disagree. I felt horrible for the chief’s wife over his affair with Meredith’s mother, just as I also felt so horrible for Meredith & her father, who were so hurt by it.
I really love Addison, but what she did to Derek by sleeping with Mark was hideous and awful. What he did to her (IMO) wasn’t quite as bad since he’d made steps to end their marriage and told her it was over. So his affair with Meredith, while technically cheating, wasn’t on the same scale.
But Izzie and George? Just inexcusable. I think the show had plenty of built-in conflict with George & Callie (heck, the money they just revealed being a big one!) without throwing him into bed with Izzie. Letting him grow a spine and stop being such a pu…
might have taken a whole season. :o
To be honest, though, I really do think the show “jumped the shark” with what they’ve done with Izzie’s character since they day Denny came on it. (Sorry, Carly, I know you loved him, and I really liked him as a character, too, but his character ruined Izzie’s!)
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 10:54 am
Hi Leslie!!!
Great topic. I actually watched Grey’s Anatomy for the first time in a few weeks on Friday. Last time I watched it Meredith had “died” so I didn’t even realize George and Callie were married. I have been getting scheduled on Thursday nights and had it set to record (gotta love dvr) but someone cancelled it.
Did you see that Lifetime is going to have a new tv series from the Greys Anatomy producers called Army Wives? It looks good.
This is sort of a timely subject cause there recently was a murder here that made national headlines where a husband killed and dismembered his wife and there are rumors that he had an affair with the au pair and she has gone back to Germany where there is no extradition treaty with the US.
Barb
Comment by BadBarb — March 20, 2007 @ 10:56 am
Les - great topic! I think maybe your reaction toward the woman, in this case, is because it was your best friend that was cheated on? I mean, in that case, I’d feel the same way, because if anyone hurts one of my friends, they’ve hurt me, too!
But overall, I think I would loathe them equally. The person who made the vows, and the person who poached. First of all, the person who made the vows (may it be male or female) should just get out of their marriage if they aren’t going to be faithful. So, that’s why I’d loathe that person. And the poacher? Well, that goes without saying — they knew the person was married and had an affair with them anyway.
As for Izzy — I, too, hate who she has become. What are the writers THINKING???? And I LOVE Callie!!! That woman rocks!
Comment by Janelle — March 20, 2007 @ 10:58 am
What always gets me on this topic is the stupidity of a woman who makes it her goal to be the future wife of a cheating husband. The man’s proven his propensity to cheat on his wife, so you want to be next in line?
What’s that, you say? You bought his line about you being special? Yeah, well the current wife was special too, once. Their house is filled with lots of happy happy pictures of them doing special special things. Oh, I see. He was stupid back then and now he’s smarter. That’s why you’re going to be different. Hmm, I can only wonder how even smarter he’s going to be 10 years from now after the newness of you has worn off.
Personally, I think they deserve each other. I mean, what could be a more perfect mate for the “other woman” than a cheating husband?
I prefer to stick with a guy who has a history of making better choices. And as far as hating her more than him? For me, it’s a toss-up.
Comment by Lori Borrill — March 20, 2007 @ 11:05 am
Barb! How cool to “see” you here! Where you been, girl? And I had heard about that case, but I hadn’t heard the “au pair” part of it!! What a psycho creep!
And Janelle, I know in that case, it was definitely because of my relationship with her. But my message above (16) puts it as succinctly as I can manage. I still blame women more for the emotional aspect of affairs.
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 11:09 am
Oh, yeah, I guess I should update the story of my friend!! Forgot about that.
Her divorce was final in June a few years ago. He married the “other” in December. By the following September, they were in divorce court themselves.
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer couple…
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 11:13 am
Janelle, I think that unless the writer is Joss Whedon, television writers have no ability to keep a strong female character strong. At some point, she’s going to wimp out to her emotions and become a hysterical mess, which is what I’ve seen with Izzy and what I see happening to the Nikki/Jessica character on Heroes unless the writers wise up quick. You know what a soap opera freak I used to be, but every one of the soaps has ruined my favorite female characters–except Carly on GH. She’s the only one. Sam, Emily, Monica, Georgie, Maxie, … all of them have been ruined. Tracy is the only other one who has remained a good character–and she’s a villain. Carly is a borderline villain. Why can’t a woman be strong and still be someone we can root for?
Callie is a great character, but I bet they’ll ruin her, too. And you can’t blame male writers…women are so mean to other women! Maybe that’s the root of the problem…you think?
Comment by Julie Leto — March 20, 2007 @ 11:15 am
And on a related but different note, I do have to admit a bit of sourness toward women, for one reason. I married a particularly handsome man and we live less than a mile from a state college. Over the course of our 18-year marriage, he’s been propositioned by no less than 3 women (those are the ones he’s told me about). He gets free coffees at Starbucks with little smiley faces on the cups! He’s had girls ahead of him in drive-throughs do that “buy the guy behind me a coffee” thing. I had a waitress in a restaurant come on to him right in front of me! Right…in….front of me.
I was commiserating with a friend whose hubby is also a doll. He went back to college (the one we live by) to earn his teaching credential. There are three women at the school who have invited him to their dorms and left phone numbers on his work books. We’re talking barely 20-year-olds coming on to married men in their 40’s with wives and kids!
THAT’s the thing I don’t get at all, how colossally ballsy young women are today. The fact that a guy’s standing there with a wedding ring on his finger and a toddler in one arm makes no difference to them. They’ll pass him a phone number while ogling the kid! No fricking joke!
My husband and I have had the discussion about the difference between men and women when it comes to that. Men don’t do that sort of thing–outwardly coming on to married women they don’t even know. Like you said, Leslie, there’s a code and it appears to be stronger with men than it is with women. Maybe because men realize an angry husband might come after them with a gun. With woman, every guy–married or not–is fair game, because what’s the wife gunna do? Cry?
I don’t know. My opinion could be tainted because of where I live. The college near us has a ratio of 7 to 1 women to men. That’s a lot of horny girls with slim pickings.
Comment by Lori Borrill — March 20, 2007 @ 11:24 am
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer couple…
Comment by Lori Borrill — March 20, 2007 @ 11:32 am
Leslie, I think you’re right about the emotional aspect, although my husband would strongly disagree. We have that discussion all the time and he thinks that generalization isn’t exactly fair. I don’t know..I think there are more gusy who just think of it on a physical level than have the emotional aspect to go along with it. That’s the adults.
As for kids…teenagers…we just put our hands over our ears and hand our son the concealer for his neck wounds. We’re amazed at the number of girls who spend the night at his apartment. Not just with him but with his roommates. I think boys and girls alike, in this day and time, think it is just sex and nothing more. Very, very scary!
Lori - I agree with you on who would want the cheater? I’ve seen it work a few times, where the cheater married the person they cheated with, and it last 20 years, but not too often. And even if it does work, don’t you think they always have that doubt in the back of their mind? Wondering if he’s doing the same thing to them, as they did to his other wife?
Comment by Jodie — March 20, 2007 @ 11:44 am
Lori I so agree. If he/cheats cheats with you he/she will cheat on you. He/she has already proven that he/she has very few morals. Why not cheat on the next spouse too…
Comment by Liza — March 20, 2007 @ 11:55 am
Lori, I so agree…
Here’s my cheating story. No joke…this involves my uncle (my blood uncle), his ex and her bff. They were having trouble in their marriage and my ex-aunt was telling her bff about it. Unbeknownst to her, BFF was going to the bar where my uncle hung out and was ‘listening’ to him about his marriage, all the while hooking up with him! Needless to say, my aunt and uncle got a divorce, the kids (who were all older) sided with their mom. My uncle and BFF got married (that’s a whole other story). When the kids (my cousins) got married and such, their parents take turns on who attends what (ie. one attends the ceremony, the other the reception). My cousins haven’t seen their dad in many years.
Re Grey’s: Let me just say, that show has become too popular. Shows get so screwed up when they become popular. I love Callie, but, she did lie to George about her money AND she married him RIGHT AFTER the death of his dad. They say you should not make major changes in your life after a traumatic event (like a death) for about 6 months. She’s been on his case since they returned home. That being said, I don’t think George should have cheated on Callie. I am firm believer in the marriage vows. They should NOT have gotten married. They should have shacked up for awhile. Izzie…well, she’s been messed up since she got involved with Denny. Loved Denny as a patient, but isn’t there some ethical CODE that you don’t get involved with a patient? Where was the Chief to enforce this if Bailey didn’t? I loved Izzie when she was tough, but sweet…remember her telling Alex what’s what when he posted all of the pictures of her in lingerie? That’s the Izzie I love, not the Izzie who got all weird and pulled Denny’s cords.
I think the writers are focusing too much on franchising the show (ie. Kate Walsh’s new show) and less time on the show itself. Get real….Meridith a positive person? McDreamy so sappy? Preston healed? McSteamy celibate? The ferry boat three parter (now that was one poorly written last episode…every body seemed to become perfect after having so much trauma within hours!) I think they are trying to mess up George and Izzie to see who will leave first (the actors). I know that TR Knight has said he is leaving. Then, there was the Katherine Hegel ’salary dispute”. Who leaked that (hmm….everything I have read has implied it was not the show).
Comment by katie — March 20, 2007 @ 12:24 pm
Sorry for the long post!
Comment by katie — March 20, 2007 @ 12:24 pm
No apologies necessary Katie! I am really enjoying all this interaction!
And Lori, ITA…if he cheated on her with you…he’ll cheat on you with the next one.
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 12:51 pm
>>have that discussion all the time and he thinks that generalization isn’t exactly fair. I don’t know..I think there are more gusy who just think of it on a physical level than have the emotional aspect to go along with it. <<
Jodie, I understand that, I trust my husband implicitly and I know he totally “gets” it. There are certainly plenty of men who understand the emotional ramifications of cheating. But I still believe (like you do) that in *general* men are much more likely to self-justify cheating with the “it’s just physical” thing than women, who *want* that emotion.
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
I have been working a lot, I thought after the holidays my hours would be
I have been working as a cashier up front and in the catalog department. Plus I was working on a little project for Stella Cameron and doing some test reading for a couple of friends. 
cut at the store but they remained the same.
Being how that murder was here, in fact it was about 15 miles from where I live, it has been major news and they had followed the au pair and was camped outside her doorstep.
Comment by BadBarb — March 20, 2007 @ 1:09 pm
I have to say that I have hated George and Callie being a couple all along! First George has never loved her. From day one he has put all the other woman in his life before her. I like Callie just not with George. I actually liked her with McSteamy. As for Izzie, I must be the only one who feels sorry for her
I can’t imagine losing my soul mate. I think she is a lost soul right now.
On the topic of cheaters, I’ve watched my sister go through a heartbreaking divorce because her ex is a big CHEATING LOSER! The person he cheated with, to me was insigificant. He was the one who threw away his vows, and then couldn’t believe that my sister wouldn’t or couldn’t forgive him! He tries to play the victim!
I HATE him for what he did not only to my sister, but especially to my nephews. To me it is the CHEATER who is the lowest of low!
I hope he finds himself with a good old fashioned case of crabs so bad that his hoohoo falls off!!!
Comment by Tina Martinesi — March 20, 2007 @ 1:13 pm
Hi Leslie:
I guess I’m the only guy brave enough to leave a comment. So even tough I don’t believe in voodoo dolls my only reaction to your original post is OUCH!!!
But I do agree if someone cheats once, they’ll probably cheat again. Though that sounds like a great basis for a story or two :;
Take care……….Wayne
Comment by Wayne (aka Trybble) — March 20, 2007 @ 1:35 pm
Tina, I agree and feel sorry for Izzy! I just HATE that she badmouths Callie TO George after they married. Be a friend and suck up and then be there after. But every word out of her mouth was bad timing, too. Anyway, I agree w/you!
Comment by Carly — March 20, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
Oh Wayne, don’t let this topic drive you away for good!
Comment by Carly — March 20, 2007 @ 1:45 pm
Awww, Wayne, don’t fret…you’re not the only male here. Hubby has already called me once today. (He was disagreeing with me last night as I wrote the entry!)
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 2:02 pm
Yeah, Wayne…we need the male perspective!
I think everyone has great points…and Tina, I’m really sorry for your sister.
I guess the anger toward men may be because we know of more cheating men than women…probably because men are very proud and don’t go around announcing when their spouse has been unfaithful, whereas women will shout it to the mountaintops.
A very emotional issue…I’m glad we can discuss it here with a good dose of humor thrown in!
Comment by Julie Leto — March 20, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
Julie, I think we do know of more men than women, for the reasons you said, but those men are cheating with someone. And I’d bet a lot of them are married women (unless they’re going for the 20 something arm candy to make them feel younger).
As for the “shouting” there’s other ways to make it known. My SIL promised her ex she would never tell their son he’d been unfaithful. But then he had her agree (in their divorce papers) that she would never sue his, now wife, for alienation of affection. Hmmmm….now how could she sue for that if it there hadn’t been an affair? I guarantee you, some day those papers are going to somehow mysteriously end up in my nephews life. (she’s the one that is still very, very bitter).
I just thank God every day for my hubby who thinks the sun rises and sets on me. And I have no idea why he thinks that, or how I got so lucky, but I am extremely thankful for him!!!
Comment by Jodie — March 20, 2007 @ 2:39 pm
I think it is justified if both the cheating husband and the flingie (not the wife) both have bad karma. If you want to go sow some wild oats, do so before you are married.
Love Callie, I just thinks she should have been the better person and said to George, ‘let’s sit on this marriage thing for awhile’. I could almost 120% guarantee that they would have gotten married anyway, but he needed time to grieve. Just like Izzy…geez, that girl needs therapy in a major way and not from “perky Sydney”. Perky Sydney has her own set of issues (jealousy, eternal perkidom, etc). In this case, though, I do blame Izzy and George.
Also, when Callie announced that she was rich, duh she’s rich. She’s an attending (or something beyond an intern), lived in the basement (rent-free), so she was making lots of $$$. Even if she had paid back her student loans, she would have still had a lot of cash left over. So what if she has lived in a nice hotel for a month (their timeline) or so. Okay, now, I am getting nit picky. George should have clued in, but I love George….he’s the “young puppy” as Preston calls him.
I think I lost my train of thought. The direction the writers are going in right now is just so annoying. I saw on one of the box sets that they like to ‘keep it real’….it’s getting a little unreal. My concern is that the show is losing it’s focus….just like me!
Comment by katie — March 20, 2007 @ 3:12 pm
Jodie, maybe that’s why your SIL can’t let go…she’s stuck. She can’t get any kind of recourse…and that just sucks, IMO. She should have sued! Man, if my state had that law and I was in that situation, you can bet your bottom dollar I’d sue. But I’m vindictive that way.
I really feel for her. Infidelity can not be easy to get over.
Comment by Julie Leto — March 20, 2007 @ 3:43 pm
Hmm….Jodie, did YOU promise never to tell the son????
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 3:48 pm
Barb- i am looking forward to Army Wives. I want to see how true to life it really is. There is no bigger hotbed of gossip and cheating than a military post.
Kelly- I was standing at the altar thinking the same thing. I do believe the loan my parents took out for the wedding lasted longer than the marriage. And to top it all off, I had married into a political family in the area. Talk about screwing the pooch when we split.
> Nope, run em over with the car and claim stupidity.
More news on the Grey’s Anatomy front- the 3 parter was supposed to be only one show, but the studio decided that the cost was too much for one show and made it into 3 parts. blame them, not Shondra.
Callie wasn’t living in the basement rent free, so much as hiding there. She got tossed when the Chief found her. I like Callie, just not with George. I like Izzy too- she has to in so much pain over Denny. (he will be popping back up on Supernatural too, I understand)
gotta love TV guide and TV guide.com!!!
Comment by ev — March 20, 2007 @ 3:49 pm
Leslie - No. And he spends A LOT of time at our house. You have no idea how many times its almost slipped. In fact, hubby didn’t realize that he didn’t know (he’s almost 14 now) and he almost let it slip the other day.
I am really not good at secrets. I’m such an open book that trying to remember what to tell and what not to tell gets exhausting after a while. I’m sure that before long he’s going to start asking questions about what happened and if he hasn’t already figured it out, he will pretty quick.
Comment by Jodie — March 20, 2007 @ 3:52 pm
Ev–do you ever watch The Unit? I really like that show because of the way they show the men on the mission at the same time they’re showing what’s going on in the “real” lives of their wives and families. Pretty cool concept!
And YAY! I loved him on Supernatural! But…hmm…he’s dead, right? So are we talking a ghostly re-appearance, or are they bringing him back to life somehow??
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 3:54 pm
Jodie, I think you’re right. Kids are not stupid and they don’t forget the “whispers” that went on around them during divorces. I am sure he already suspects and one day he will confront his father himself.
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 3:56 pm
Julie, she’s definitely stuck, but she made out great financially. She got him to sign seperation papers right after she “caught him” and he was feeling really guilty and he gave her everything! The house, the boat, the cars, the stocks, everything! He left with absolutely nothing financially.
And he was such a shmuck! She should have been elated!!
Comment by Jodie — March 20, 2007 @ 4:02 pm
ev, are you sure she wasn’t living in the basement rent free? No one knew she was there. I so need a life.
I was curious what the writers think of the writing on “Grey’s”? do you think it has gone down hill? I think so. They just seem to do one thing and then, poof, off to something else or everyone is cured (for example, would Meredith really be back at work three days after her near death, would all of those injured people on the ferry, just disappear?). It’s fine if they want to focus on something else, just mention ‘oh, well, we’re overloaded because of all of the ferry injuries”. I do realize that this is TV, but that was a MAJOR disaster!
Comment by katie — March 20, 2007 @ 4:02 pm
Ev, something tells me neither of us would sit back and endure something like that again. If nothing else it taught me to speak up or at least act on ym instinct when I KNOW something isn’t right. Ya know, my parents told me after the fact that they heard from one of my sisters and a bridesmaid about the phone call the night before the wedding and told me they wished I had gone too! LMAO! And then even went as far to tell me they were all taking bets at the reception as too how long it would last.
Live and Learn I say. My dad was in the Rolls Royce on the way to the church telling me, “Why don’t we just go to the reception hall and lock the doors and get drunk.” :cocktail:
Comment by Kelly F. — March 20, 2007 @ 4:13 pm
Jodie, I would bet your nephew already has a pretty good idea what went on. Adults try so hard to protect them from the ugliness, but the truth is they hear and see alot more than you think. I’ll never forget when my sister went through her crap, my nephew who was around 6 or 7 at the time, was at my house and I overheard him talking to my son, and telling him that daddy did a really bad thing to mommy and that he wasn’t going to be living with them any more. I just cried when my son replied, “i know that must make you really sad, but you know your mom and dad both love you, so try not to worry about them, they’ll be ok”
Kids are just amazing!
Comment by Tina Martinesi — March 20, 2007 @ 4:14 pm
Wow, Tina, what a remarkable comeback from your son! I overhear my nephew say things to my son now that I know my SIL is clueless about. He recognizes that she somewhat uses him to try to hurt her ex - I don’t think she realizes she’s doing it, I think she’s just too caught up in her own stuff 8 years later that she doesn’t think about what she’s really doing to her son. But the son sees it!
Kelly F. - I had a similar experience. I knew I was making a huge mistake the first time I got married I just didn’t know how to stop it. The night before I cried and cried. My Mom even said, “You know, you don’t have to do this” but I kept telling myself it was just nerves. What an idiot I was!
I remember when I got as far as standing next to him that I was sure someone would stop it when it came time for objections. Because, like you, everyone knew it was a mistake, but noone saved me. But, I did get a wonderful son that I absolutely adore out of it.
Comment by Jodie — March 20, 2007 @ 4:32 pm
Oh God 8 years is a long time to feel that kind of pain. I have to say that Thank God my sister found someone who makes her happy, they are now married and have a beautiful daughter, and the ex is still alone, as he should be! Yeah Karma!
Comment by Tina Martinesi — March 20, 2007 @ 4:56 pm
Wow. This is one HOT topic.
My ex was a cheat. It’s really sad when you know it (on many different levels many different times), but don’t have proof, and they tell you that it’s all your imagination… Anyway, I finally dumped the loser, the only good things I ever got from him are my precious kiddo’s. Proof came when I found phone calls on my phone bill - after I had already filed for divorce. Turns out this girl KNEW he was married, WORKED with him, and then decided she didn’t want him when she found out we were getting divorced. :cry:
She moved on to her next married pray I heard. Served him right. (Oh, I don’t sound bitter do I???) Really, I’m over it now and just slap myself upside the head for being stupid for so long. Point being here is that he was looking and she was too. The fact she knew he was married made it worse for me. Absolutely no remorse what so ever about it.
However, since our divorce, 13 years ago, he has been married twice. The second wife told him she was gay, and moved in with her girlfriend (He drove her to another gender!). Less than 2 months after the divorce was final, she was no longer gay…
The third wife (the infant child 16 years younger) he “had” to marry because he doesn’t know enough to use protection - the dimwit!
Guess how long that one lasted?
To this day, he doesn’t ever think any of his relationship woes are his fault.
I see a pattern, call me crazy. 
Comment by Lynn Matherly — March 20, 2007 @ 7:20 pm
Oh Lynn, there’s definitely karma at play with that guy! And, hopefully, with the women he cheats with!
Wow, this has been such a great day of conversation! I know we usually keep things a bit lighter on here, and it wasn’t my intention to get all deep and controversial, but I’m so glad we got to talk and even got to know a little more about each other! So thanks to everyone who chatted!!!!
Comment by Leslie — March 20, 2007 @ 8:03 pm
I can’t stand Izzy this season. Just can’t stand her, and she used to be my favorite. George is being a butthead, too, though. I didn’t like Callie last season and love her this season. I HATE that Izzy slept with George. HATE it.
Comment by Mary — March 24, 2007 @ 10:15 am
I just read your blog and all the comments and I have to say that I am surprised (not in a bad way) by how candid you all are!
As a former Other Woman, I can tell you that both men and women cheat for all the reasons you mention above and then others they come up with on their own. I’ve always felt that women do hold women to a harsher standard and we have a tendency to judge each other more acutely than men. It is almost like we do, in fact, expect it from them and can’t really blame them for being men.
I don’t know if you will delete this, but I can tell you that I NEVER tried to break up a happy home. I knew from the beginning that he was married and had children. I never called his home or even knew the number. I never called his mobile unless I was returning a call and I absolutely knew he was alone. When he would try to tell me he was in an unhappy marriage, I would stop him and tell him that there was no need to lie. He never spent a single night away from his home and we never had any dramatic tipping point (i.e. discovery, ultimatums, fake or real pregnancies, etc.).
He filed for his divorce two months after we met. He and his wife were partners in a medical practice and not only did she take half of all of their community property, she also enforced a “no-compete” clause that prevented him from working in the area for three years. A year after his divorce, we were married and we have remained so for 9 years. We lived off of my income and (half of) his savings for those initial three years.
His ex-wife to this day does not know that he was unfaithful, nor do his children or anyone in his family (parents or siblings). However, I have never attempted to forge any friendship with her because I would always feel ackward confiding in her or having her confide in me.
Do I regret it? NO! I love him and our children.
Do I trust him? YES! He never lied to me, I knew from the beginning.
Do I wonder if he cheats on me? NEVER! I trust him implicitly. I always have. I would never have married him if I didn’t.
As far as GREY’s-I think George and Izzie should keep their mouths shut. Why hurt an innocent woman to wash themselves of their guilt? They are the ones that need to live with the outcome of their actions.
Anyhow-I can tell you are a close-knit group of friends. It is not my intent to offend anyone here. I read this blog and I was engrossed by the banter and the stories and wanted to share mine with you. I only wanted to point out that all stories are different and not every Other Woman wants to wreak destruction and chaos upon unsuspecting wifes and families. Sometimes, we really can’t help who we fall in love with.
Comment by Allie — April 14, 2007 @ 8:55 pm