Let’s Talk About S*E*X
That got your attention, didn’t it? At the risk of our blog being spammed, my topic today is all about sex. Well, actually, it’s all about what it takes for me to write a love scene for one of my books. So, yeah, sex is the topic for today. 
One of the most difficult parts of a book for me to write is love scenes between the hero and heroine. While I can breeze through scenes with plot or characterization, I come to a writing crawl when it’s time for my hero and heroine to do the deed. It never used to be this way – but after writing 40+ books, those love scenes have become a big, time-consuming process for me.
Why, you ask? Well, for one, I want to make sure that the love scene between these two characters isn’t the same-‘ol, same-‘ol, if you know what I mean. (And that in itself is hard, considering how many love scenes I’ve written in my career! I mean, how many different ways can my hero and heroine DO IT?) And for me, writing a love scene is more than just the physical act of sex - - it’s about my characters connecting on an intimate and emotional level. That’s something that I won’t compromise on. I write romance, not erotica, so a lot of my focus is the character growth that develops during a love scene.
So, what does that entail? A whole lot of layering. At least for me, anyways. I wish I could sit down and write a love scene from beginning to end in a few hours, or even a day, without thinking about that layering process. I wish it all flowed naturally for me, but it doesn’t. Not anymore. :cursing:
The first thing I do is figure out where the love scene is going to take place (bed, kitchen, up against the wall – you get my drift!) – and thank God I usually know this before I actually get to the scene, so that helps. Then I write the pure physical part of the sex — the position and clinical details. Once that’s done, I go back in and add in layers of sensuality, and that usually comes from describing the act with sensual, evocative words and sentences. It’s all about setting the scene by adding in sense of touch, what the characters are seeing and doing, and what they are feeling physically. It’s about the sexy dialogue and seduction. It’s about how a caress feels, a character’s reaction to a provocative stroke, and all those other sensory things that make a reader feel as if they are a part of the scene.
By now, I definitely have a very sexy love scene. 
But now comes the tough part – layering in the emotional component of the scene. Usually by the time my characters make love, they are emotionally involved, and those emotions are usually intensified by the fact that they are taking this next step in their relationship. This emotional component can come from one or both characters, but before I even write the love scene I have to decide what character is the most emotionally involved at that moment – and that’s whose point of view the scene will be written from because I want the reader to see and feel what the character is.
Here is an example from the current story I’m writing. The beginning of this love scene is written from the hero’s point of view, so you’ll be getting some insight into what he is thinking and feeling. This paragraph started with the physical action – a kiss. Then came the sensuality, and lastly, the emotion the hero was feeling in that moment:
Her mouth was soft and yielding, a heavenly temptation he couldn’t resist, so he didn’t even try. Her lips parted, and he accepted the invitation to deepen the connection, to slide his tongue inside and curl around hers, dragging her into a hunger so dark and hot he burned with the intensity of it. He kissed her with a fierce urgency borne of knowing that she was truly okay and unharmed. Kissed her with an abundance of relief and gratitude and something else far more profound that echoed in the farthest recesses of his soul — an emotional, intimate bond that rocked the foundation of the solitary man he’d always been.
Driven by pure sensation, encouraged by the uninhibited way her fingers dug into the muscles bisecting his back and the arch of her hips against his, Joel backed her up against the shower stall, pressed the length of his body along Lora’s lush curves, and ravished her mouth with an overwhelming amount of passion and heat. His craving for her blazed through him like an out of control wildfire — a reckless, insatiable need he could no longer deny.
More. He needed more of Lora. Needed to touch and taste and savor every nuance that was uniquely hers.
I wish I could say that these few paragraphs were as easy and quick to write as it probably was for you to read. But no, it took me a few hours to nail down the action, the hero’s thoughts, the sensuality, the emotional impact of the scene. And this is just a very small part of the love scene as a whole. This is probably why I end up with 10-15 page love scenes, or even longer. 
Which can be good or bad, depending on what a reader likes.
So, as a reader of romance, what do you prefer? Long, hot, sexy love scenes or short and sweet ones? Is it important to you that the love scene has an emotional element to it, or do you care if it’s just physical sex between the characters?
For me, there’s no right or wrong length (forgive the pun)
for a love scene. Throughout a book, when there are multiple love scenes, I like to see a combination of the long, sexy, emotional stuff and the short, sweet (and sometimes humorous) scenes.
I loved the paragraphs you gave you! Sounds like it was done effortlessly!
Lara
Comment by Lara — January 11, 2007 @ 8:59 am
I agree with Lara about the length of the love scene. But I also think it goes either way on the emotional element. Sometimes, when the characters give into their sexual tension just for the sake of instant gratification is neat too. Then within a few hours or days their emotions are really flowing. I guess each book I have read has had it both ways and I don’t mind it either way as long as it fits the book and the characters.
Like if you know a character wouldn’t behave a certain way or say a certain thing, then it bothers me. LOL!! Great topic though, I often wondered how long it took to come up with Love scenes and if it were easy or a little more challenging.
Comment by Kelly — January 11, 2007 @ 10:00 am
What a perfect post for today, Janelle! Guess what I’m writing! Yup, the love scene. I, too, struggle mightily with these now whereas I used to breeze through them so fast! Ha! Now, I actually skip them and go back and write them after the book is done. Isn’t that nuts? But I need all my concentration to pull it off, so that’s how I deal. I’m just about done with this novella so the love scene must be finished!
Comment by Julie Leto — January 11, 2007 @ 10:02 am
Janelle -
I think you write some of the best love scenes out there!
You put a lot of emotion into a very sexy scene, which is what romance is all about. I hate reading stuff where it’s more clinical than anything else and will put a book down and quit reading if it gets simply physical. Doesn’t matter if it’s a lengthy encounter or a quickie (both are equally good!) as long as there is an emotional element, I’m happy. As an aspiring writer, I know those are the hardest scenes to write well and you do a great job. Love your books! PS - I love reading these from the man’s perspective - hard to do and not done enough IMO
Comment by Nina — January 11, 2007 @ 10:25 am
Janelle…I like a combination of both. That didn’t answer your question
I am enjoying reading the “CHRISTMAS PARTY” book (yes, I do know Christmas is past, but the way our weather is…we just had a lot of snow…it still looks like Christmas!). 
Comment by katie — January 11, 2007 @ 10:44 am
katie- at least you got snow- we are still waiting. we haven’t hit a half inch yet. that’s total snowfall for the season. Not that we are really complaining.
And here I thought all you writers just had sex, sex, sex flowing through your brains all the time.
That’s because you guys, and most writers, make the loves scenes look effortless. I have always wondered how you do it. Knowing it isn’t easy to write them will make me appreciate them when I read them all the more. :kiss:
Comment by ev — January 11, 2007 @ 11:13 am
There definitely is a time and a place for a hot, fast, erotic love scene! I’ve done those, too — and if the emotion isn’t evident in the scene, then it definitely comes after (no pun intended!). I know the process is different for every author.
Nina — thanks for your compliment!
I do try hard on the love scenes — I truly hate to write them, but I’m usually happy with the end results!
Julie — No way could I just skip over a love scene and write it later! For me, what happens during the love scene (emotionally), sets the tone for what happens between my characters after that. I admire authors who CAN skip over the love scenes and go back and add them in. I wish I could! :P
Katie — I hope you enjoy Austin McBride in CHRISTMAS FANTASY. He’s definitely one of my personal favorite heroes! 8)
Comment by Janelle — January 11, 2007 @ 11:17 am
Janelle,
The scene you shared was fantastic!
I personally think the type of love scene should fit with the characters and the story line. If it is a quick lusty scene that fits at that place in the story–well ok then. However, I prefer the long in-depth (pun intended–ha ha) scenes like yours.
However, I will admit that having been a love story reader since like 7th or 8th greade when I would sneak the books into the house and under the covers–scenes like the have ruined S-E-X for me. Not that it hasn’t ever been *ahem* good but I totally expect it to actually work like the ones I read. Sensual not well you know as rushed–grabby, icky.!!
Comment by Debbie — January 11, 2007 @ 11:21 am
I love this topic, by the way I think that you always do a fantastic job! You are a really gifted writter.
I think that the sex scenes needs both sensuality as well as emotion. I hate to read stories that is all about the sex and no emotion involved and then at the end the just fall in love. How that happen I just don’t know.
Comment by barbara — January 11, 2007 @ 11:41 am
ev…we are such wimps in the NW. I love the stuff, even if that means that school is cancelled. It’s not today, for some odd reason.
Comment by katie — January 11, 2007 @ 12:09 pm
Great scene Janelle!
I actually still enjoy writing the love scenes, but I do struggle to ensure each is slightly different. And the pov issue is a big one, too. I like the reader to experience love scenes from both pov’s so my books almost always have one from the hero’s pov and another from the heroine’s.
The trick for me in writing the hero-pov love scene is in making it sexy and romantic while making the hero think/react like a *guy* not the way a woman wants a guy to think, you know? Fortunately, being married to a very romantic man, I know there are men out there who don’t just think about x y and z. :oops:
Comment by Leslie — January 11, 2007 @ 12:20 pm
Janelle,
Your sex scenes are the best!! When I read them it’s like WOW!! They make the book. Keep up the great work!!
Comment by Tina — January 11, 2007 @ 12:21 pm
Oh my! Janelle that was one wonderfully hot taste of a “Wilde” I presume.
I have to agree you do fabulous love scenes and yes they are a must in
books I consider keepers. I don’t know how you do it all.
What I do know is that I buy every book you write for these spectacular
feelings you manage to express in your stories. It’s so real and your
characters so involved emotionally that makes your writing and you very
special.
“10 - 15 page love scenes” super. 
Geech, now to get my mind back to my work
Sure, Ha!
Janelle what ever your doing stick with it it works! :love2:
I for one always appreciate any extra effort a terrific author puts into a
superb romance.
There really aren’t that many really good ones.
Awe come on that can’t surprise you!
Comment by jeannie — January 11, 2007 @ 12:27 pm
There are assets and drawbacks to any length love scene. What matters is how the scene fits into the whole scheme. I commend you on finding the right balance.
Comment by Missy — January 11, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
good are my fav. hot and sexy is great.
Comment by kim H — January 11, 2007 @ 12:44 pm
You all are making the angst, sweat, and hours of time I put into writing a love scene well worth it. Thank you!
Leslie — I have to admit that sometimes I have a hard time writing “guy thoughts”, but I have Carly who reads my stuff as I write it and lets me know if my hero is being too sappy
Comment by Janelle — January 11, 2007 @ 12:52 pm
Janelle you write wonderful love scenes. I think the story should determine if the scene should be short or long. The characters drive the scene and we always count on the author to determine what they need and you do a great job.
Comment by Patty L. — January 11, 2007 @ 1:04 pm
Janelle,
I tend to see that the older (I’m over 40) I get that I like the love scenes to be a bit deeper in emotion. Just like you write them.
Also, I’ve read so many romance stories it has to be in the thousands that I find myself skipping over some authors sex scenes it it seems to be the same old same old stuff.:doggie:
But I have to admit that every now and again I grab a HOT, HOT story just for the fast scene
Comment by Gigi — January 11, 2007 @ 1:12 pm
Janelle, what a great love scene! I always look forward to reading your love scenes. I never realized how hard it is for you (and other authors) to write them. They come across so smooth and sexy that you’d never guess you agonized over them for hours.
I like all kinds of love scenes as long as they fit in with the context of the story and the characters. I do favor long, hot, sexy love scenes because they are fun and the anticipation leading up to the act is half the fun. I also like emotional love scenes versus pure physical sex. I think it makes a better all-around story.
I also like getting both characters POV during sex scenes. It’s not often you read the hero’s POV. I really enjoy getting his take on things.
Comment by Carolyn A. — January 11, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
Janelle, that is a wonderful scene. Can’t wait for the book! I mostly like my love scene with feeling, emotion and the couple caring about each other. I don’t like sex just for sex although sometimes it is okay. To me sex is not a recreation or a sport!
Just keep up whatever you are doing cause you are doing a great job. :love2: With all the romance books I have read over the years there are times when I have wondered how easy or difficult it is to write those scenes in a book, now I know!!
Comment by Donna M — January 11, 2007 @ 1:24 pm
Janelle,
I just want to say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” That really made my day
I guess I never thought about how hard it must be to put all that passion on paper and stay true to the character’s at the same time…. Now that I know how much you hate it, yet how well you do it, it make’s me appretiate it even more.
Comment by Tina Martinesi — January 11, 2007 @ 1:37 pm
I’m another who really prefers the emotional aspects with it — I’m just not a fan of sex scenes for the sake of it or such.
Lois
Comment by Lois — January 11, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
Janelle, the first book of yours I ever read was a Blaze, The Ultimate Seduction, and it’s still on my shelf because I loved the story, but also, the love scenes in that book were not just scorching, they were extremely rich. As much as we all joke and pun about the sex, it’s never just about the sex — even in your scene above, it’s about the hero’s receptivity and his reaction to her responses, and the fact that he’s even aware, which is a fantasy for a lot of women, probably . But jokes aside, we were having this discussion this week on our site as well, but concerning actual names of parts, etc and I find I enjoy more emotional/aesthetic love scenes — not that there’s anything wrong with description, but if it’s too mechanical, that’s probably when I lose interest, unless the mechanics are supported with something more, as long as they have some element of beauty in them, whether it’s the emotions or the moment, or the writing.
I don’t know if I’ve come across love scenes I ever thought were too long, but OMG I’m a raving maniac when someone leads you along and then shuts the door — God, I hate that! LOL
Sam
Comment by Sam Hunter — January 11, 2007 @ 2:18 pm
Janelle - I have to agree with everyone else. The one thing about your books that stand out to me is always the love scenes. They are so different, well thought out and the emotional aspect is as much a part of it as the physical. Carly’s display quote on the cover of “Wilde Thing” says, “No one does hot and sexy better….” and I have to agree.
Thanks to all of you for the hard work you put into writing your stories.
Comment by Jodie — January 11, 2007 @ 2:42 pm
Sam — You understand the process well!
It’s funny, but I used to write sweet, traditional romances for Harlequin romance, the kind where you DID close the bedroom door before anything sexual could happen. Certainly that was much easier to write than a full blown love scene, but it always left me feeling cheated, even as a writer! I guess that’s why when I had to make a decision about my writing career and which direction I wanted to go in (sweet or sexy), that’s why I chose the sexy, full-blown love scene route. For as difficult as those love scenes are for me to write, I think it makes for a much better love story as a whole.
Comment by Janelle — January 11, 2007 @ 2:58 pm
Janelle (and the other plotmonkeys, too)…how long does it take you to write a sex scene? Do you just get started and then it sort of flows or does it take awhile (hours and hours). I can tell that all of you do lots of ‘layers’, but I’ve always wondered….does it just come naturally, or is it very cerebral? Does that make sense? Maybe that is a chit chat question.
Comment by katie — January 11, 2007 @ 3:02 pm
Katie — It’s definitely a long and very “cerebral” process for me. And those love scenes no longer come easily or naturally for me. They usually take a good WEEK for me to write, and that’s with a lot of struggling for the right words and phrasing. It’s the hardest, most difficult part of a book for me to write!
Comment by Janelle — January 11, 2007 @ 3:10 pm
I think that the love scenes that you write are great. I love the layering and where you get what he/she is feeling at the time, it makes it so much better than what some do and that is just the sake of sex for sex. Thank you for taking the time to get it down right for us the readers and making it a pleasure to read.
Comment by Cryna — January 11, 2007 @ 4:48 pm
Janelle(and the other plotmonkeys too) Thanks for all your hard work on the sex scenes. I love that even with quickies you can feel the characters are connected(althought some times just physical sake of sex can add orchange the story). Long, hot, steamy scenes have their place as well as the short and sweet. Keep up the awesome work, we all appreciate your hard work(and thanks for the insite into that hard work).
Comment by Liza — January 11, 2007 @ 4:56 pm
:love2:Janelle:love2:
“They usually take a good WEEK for me to write, and that’s with a lot of struggling for the right words and phrasing. It’s the hardest, most difficult part of a book for me to write!”
I have an :lightbulb: I’ll let you have a few of my weeks this year.
It’ll be worth it to me!
Seriously you said you chose sexy over
sweet and I for one am so glad. I am older and sweet just doesn’t
keep my attention much anymore. I know in my heart the
reason your books are so great is because you take that extra time and
struggle to make each love scene as wonderful as:love2: it can be for
your readers and fans. I’ll also share hugs and for plotmonkeys, I’ll even
share my bannanas. I have some secluded private peaceful woods in
Maine if you need a tree to hang out in
.
Comment by jeannie — January 11, 2007 @ 5:32 pm
Thanks, Janelle for answering my question……I hope all of you writers out there realize how much we appreciate your hard work and efforts!
Comment by katie — January 11, 2007 @ 6:30 pm
Wow, a week? Considering how tight I am on this next deadline, I’m going to need to write half a book in a week.
As for me, how long it takes to write a love scene is usually dependent on the story and the characters. If it takes too long, I know I’m forcing it, putting the characters on Leslie, the writer’s, schedule. If it flies out of me (which is usually does) it’s because the characters are DYING for it and they WILL NOT LET ME REST until I let them do it.
Comment by Leslie — January 11, 2007 @ 6:34 pm
Yes and Yes. I want long, hot, sexy love scenes, definitely with an emotional attachment. And don’t forget the HEA.
Comment by cathy — January 11, 2007 @ 8:31 pm
LOL, Leslie…
Comment by katie — January 11, 2007 @ 9:30 pm
I have to say, it depends on the tone of the book. If the characters don’t seem like the type to just do it, then a quick scene would seem out of place. I took a “Romance Writing” course a few years ago (still haven’t finished the novel despite a high mark in the course..it’s on my to do list and I have high admiration for anyone who has even completed one novel let alone several) and much to my surprise the romance writing course was taught by a man!
Yep! Seriously! Hetrosexual too. The first assignment was to define “romance.” There were a lot of different answers but the answer in a word was “emotion.” I have to agree with it. It’s all about feelings, so I personally think the emotion in a romance scene is essential BUT (and that’s really the hard part) it HAS to fit the characters. On the other hand…too much of that and not enough physical action makes me want to skip ahead and say “get on with it already!” I also have to agree with Leslie in the voice thing. During the romance writing course I had to do a book review from a writing perspective. I read a book that I really enjoyed but stopped cold when the hero, referring to his dead grandmother says to the heroine “she taught me how to love.” I mean honestly, what guy says that?? Voice is one of the main reason I admire your novels, Leslie, the sense of humour and dialogue fits the characters (particularly the men) so perfectly. Kudos!
Anyhow..loved the scene. I admire all of you who can write these scenes and make them unique each time.
Comment by Dayle — January 11, 2007 @ 10:57 pm
Personally, I prefer the longer sex scenes, but, only when the emotion of the relationship calls for them to be included. Though, honestly, if they are given short-shrift (not that this applies to any of your books–LOL), I would rethink another purchase. As someone whose life doesn’t allow an ongoing relationship–dam*, I love Romances because they let me revisit how it was to fall in love, & struggle to stay there. When people ask me why I read Romance, I always say (for humor, but, with honesty), “it’s great to read that when the gal falls in love with the guy, she actually gets him, not like in RL”. The stories uplift me.
Patricia A.
Comment by Patricia — January 12, 2007 @ 2:03 pm
Janelle
I like both! I have not been disappointed in any of your books. The Wild seies was a huge hit with me and my friends.
Comment by Jenny P — January 14, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
As a reader I prefer both, and you do hem very well.
Especially in all of your Wilde series. You can get the sense that the hero wants a quick coupling out of anger or some other emotion like to see if it will get the heroine out of their system.
Then you also show us a sweet side when they just want to take it slow and take it from there.
So I think it depends, definitely
Comment by Qua — January 14, 2007 @ 4:43 pm