STUFF? WHAT STUFF?
First, let me say that I’ll be away from Thursday through Sunday at an RWA (WRW) Retreat in West Virginia and I hear there’s no internet access, so if you don’t here from me until Sunday or Monday, that’s why!
Now on to today’s post:
STUFF? WHAT STUFF?
I recently saw a TV news clip about how Americans collect STUFF. Actually it was about American’s need to buy stuff. How many of you buy things and are so excited at the moment and then when it’s too late to return, wonder what the heck you were thinking? Maybe this is why Weird Al Yankovic’s Ebay song was such a hit (Shattner’s old toupee, a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, a Farrah Fawcett poster). But seriously, we’ve hit on my secret addiction. SHOPPING. It doesn’t taste as good as Janelle’s Starbucks addiction but damn it feels good in the moment! And internet shopping has only made the obsession and ability to buy things easier and hence worse. If I want to procrastinate writing, click around and hit buy. Credit cared store, Paypal, all designed to destroy us!
Good Morning America, the show I think did this special report, discussed people who decided to give up buying nonessentials for ONE YEAR. I’m shaking in my shoes (don’t ask me which pair. I have too many to count.) They saved so much money. I thought about it, I really did. I promised myself I would stop ordering things I don’t need. I returned two boxes of stuff sitting in my office because I was disappointed in the contents. Good job, right? I pat myself on the back. I ignored the shipping costs of returning the stuff, which cost nearly as much as some of the items to begin with. But I’d sent it back. Good job, I thought. No more nonessentials. 
Yesterday, I went shopping with my mother. My mom is like my best friend. We have a fantastic relationship, can tell each other off, yell and be laughing two seconds later. So shopping we went. I needed things, I tell you. Throat cream for the wrinkles on my neck. I’ll be forty one in a few months. I need prevention! Soapless soap to wash my delicate face. “Did you see our new spring/summer line?” The makeup lady behind the counter who knows my weakness brings out two gorgeous book with blush, lipstick, eyeshadow and bronzer. Two different color packets. And no they don’t come together but if you buy them separately, you’ll have the darker colors for the summer. They’ll look great on you! Of course. And of course I own them now. So much for not purchasing nonessentials. This is why I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, folks! I justify by telling myself they gave me enough free travel size samples to keep me smiling. Never mind that if I’d stayed home, I could be pages and pages beyond where I am now. Time out with my mother is worth everything, so what if I can’t control my buying impulses?
There are the small purchases that are easy to justify in the moment but add up over time and the big purchases that seem so necessary but set you back big bucks and send you scrambling to hide the items in my closet and hope when I wear them, hubby won’t even notice. Yeah right. Try doing THAT with two hawk-like teenage girls watching my every move. “Mommy is that necklace new?” “Don’t you already have that bag Mom?” When they’re older, they’ll understand there’ a purpose to the same black and beige and pink bag!
I recently sold some items on eBay through a store that took a percentage to do all the work. The amount of unused barely used things made me cringe. The money they sold for added up to a nice tidy sum. Unfortunately not nearly close to what I’d originally paid but the glass is full person that I am when it comes to shopping said, “MORE MONEY TO SPEND ON NONESSENTIAL ITEMS!” Okay that wasn’t what I said, but something close. My husband merely shook his head and warned me not to spend more than what was in that check.
I didn’t spend more. But I have two shiny new pieces of jewelry to call new. Right now I wear them daily. Next year, they’ll be in the closet and I’ll barely remember them. OR maybe they’ll be the sentimental item I love and can’t seem to take off now matter how many other little things I buy in between.
Here’s my philosophy: I’m not putting us in debt. I’m spending less than my hubby’s golf and car “habit”. And really, I’m not spending as much as I led you to believe in this blog but you get the gist. And I’m HAPPY.
Necklace: $$$$
Makeup: None of your business.
Returns $$
HAPPINESS and time with Mom: PRICELESS
(Thank you, Mastercard!)
Seriously though, I don’t see myself giving up nonessentials for a year. I do, however, hope to THINK first and hit purchase NEVER. And when I’m out spending time with people I care about, I vow to remember it’s the quality of that time that counts, not the number of shopping bags I come home with. I’ll be more careful. Until the next time that clever sales girl waves the newest “it” item of makeup in front of me.
First of all, I must say - how nice your mom is your best friend.
2ndly, no computer for a few days, I would die and no shopping of non-essentials for a year. Yikes.
Glad you had a fun ebay shopping trip - have a great retreat and look forward to hearing about it when you return.
Comment by Pat L. — April 26, 2006 @ 7:46 am
Oh, Karen, your comments immediately made me think of one of my favorite George Carlin routines about how people need bigger houses to hold all their “stuff.”
I’m not a big shopper. Oh, I like to spend money, but I usually have something paticular in mind when I go shopping, something I’ve had my eye on. I am not the “mull around and see if anything catches my eye” type. Maybe if I had more to spend…lolol!
Leslie
Comment by Leslie Kelly — April 26, 2006 @ 8:17 am
Shopping is what makes the world go round and I can always fiind more stuff that *have to have* when I’m out with a friend. (Not to say that I can’t do some damage on my own, but I do think that I make better choices.
)
As for eBay, I know that I have a problem there. Why leave the comfort of my home to look for the vintage art deco prints I love so much, when I can buy them from the comfort of my office chair?
Comment by Rhonda — April 26, 2006 @ 8:17 am
One of the reasons I avoid the mall like the plague is because I’m EXACTLY the kind of shopper Karen is. I love to buy stuff. Love, love, love. Makeup? Oh, Lord…Karen and I at the Estee Lauder counter could be a VERY dangerous thing. Keep in mind that I wear makeup all of twice a month…no four times, if you count church on Sunday. But I love the stuff.
I’m going today to get a dress for my daughter’s first communion. (My dress, not hers…she’s all set!) I haven’t bought a dress since my brother got married four years ago. I hate dresses. But a new dress means new shoes, new jewelry and a new purse! Ayi!
More poor credit card…
Comment by Julie Leto — April 26, 2006 @ 8:32 am
I hate to admit this to serious shoppers, but, I hate the mall. My mother , on the other hand, loves it, so I usually send her out for whatever I need. (Bookstores do not count…I love those!) Just give me a credit card or pay pay and a telephone and a catalog or the internet and I’m good to go!!
Comment by Barbara-Jo — April 26, 2006 @ 9:13 am
Great topic!!! I like to shop but not for myself. I have the hardest time clothes shopping. And I am by no means a fashion plate. LOL! My sisters and my mother on the other hand have more clothes than the mall can even hold. I think part of my problem is I always over think the spending of the money. When I worked outside of the house I had a great job and didn’t mind spending. But now that I am a stay at home mom I feel guilty spending my husbands money.
Anyway, I think you have the right train of thought Carly ( I am not sure if you prefer being called Carly or Karen here on the board??) Spending time with your mom and enjoying it is the best way to look at it. And if you are not putting yourself into debt, it makes you happy I don’t see the problem.
Besides, I am sure you write more when you are happy, right??? So keep on doing what you do so the rest of us can smile and be happy reading your books.
PS: The cartoonist whose cartoon you put in the original post lived across the street from my family gowing up. It’s so nice to see him doing so well.
Comment by Kelly — April 26, 2006 @ 9:32 am
LOL! We have switched genders in my house. My husband LOVES to shop. He LOVES the mall. And it’s all about spending the money. I swear, he still has stuff with tags on it or stuff he’s never used. The man just likes to BUY.
I shop out of necessity, not for pleasure. And if I have to shop, I prefer to avoid the malls. I need a new outfit for an upcoming business trip. ACK. Now jewelry or music or books…well, that’s another story.
Comment by Jen — April 26, 2006 @ 9:36 am
I’m like Carly. I tend to impulse buy too much! A lot of the times I’ll take stuff back because after I get home and really think about it, I don’t really need it!
Now, my husband is one of those people who has to analyze every purchase. Sometimes it will take him MONTHS to buy something (like a laptop, camera, etc) because he wants to check reviews on the product and make sure he gets the best price possible. 8)
Comment by Janelle — April 26, 2006 @ 10:00 am
i love shopping
Comment by kim H — April 26, 2006 @ 11:44 am
When I go shopping I know what I want before leaving the house. My problem is that the aisles in the stores are usually to narrow for my wheelchair to do much browsing. Extremely frustrating!
My mom is my best friend too.
Comment by Susan — April 26, 2006 @ 11:57 am
I used to love to shop. But now, not so much. Now books don’t count in this……. :d I tend to go out and get what I need and then come home or if I know a particular store is having a great sale then I go.
Carly great that your Mom and you have such a great relationship. My Mom and I do as well, but at 81 her health is not what it used to be, so getting out with her for girly things is more difficult. But as you say those days are priceless when they do happen.
Thanks for a great topic. Hear from you when you get back from your weekend.
Comment by Cryna — April 26, 2006 @ 12:03 pm
I’m glad to see there’s someone else like me - Julie. I have a serious addiction to makeup. A Sephora store came to our mall at Christmas - I was like a kid in a candy store. I LOVE makeup. Problem? I rarely wear it anymore, since I stay home with the kids. But I sure have a nice collection in my drawer and when the girl behind the makeup counter asks me if I want to see the new colors I’m right there!
Shopping DOES make the world go round. No buying non-essentials for a year? I’d never make it. The lady wrote an entire book about it! But I don’t remember what it’s called…
Comment by Karen — April 26, 2006 @ 1:23 pm
Carly,
I loved reading your thoughts on shopping and such. I saw so much of myself in what you wrote it’s not funny. I love to shop. I love pretty things. I love jewelry. My problem is I have incredible guilt after I buy stuff I know I don’t need, but at the time I wanted them so much. I believe it’s called “buyer’s remorse” and I hate it. I blame my Catholic school upbringing on all the guilt I carry around. I too enjoy spending the day with my Mom (she’s my best friend too) shopping, having lunch, and buying books.
BTW - I’ve been looking for the last 3 weeks for Janelle’s reissue “A Little Bit Naughty” and I can’t find it yet. I usually shop at Waldenbooks and I’ve checked three different stores at 3 different malls (oh the torture of having to go to all those malls - just kidding). :$
Comment by Carolyn A. — April 26, 2006 @ 3:50 pm
I love to shop!!
However since I’m single & there is only my income I’ve learned to spend only when I can–it makes a person think before spending!! Sometimes just buying little things is enough, it is just fun looking at everything that is out there. If I can’t spend any money please, please do not let me near the bookstores!!! Okay, okay! Sometimes my car just ends up at the wrong place–how did that happen??!! 
I do love a good bargain–that is the best.
Hope everyone has enjoyed the day.
Donna M
Comment by Donna M — April 26, 2006 @ 10:06 pm
Hey, Carolyn — Thanks for looking for A LITTLE BIT NAUGHTY. I know it’s out there — I’ve seen it in a few places around here. If your bookstore doesn’t have it, you can ask them to order it for you.
Comment by Janelle — April 26, 2006 @ 10:35 pm
Like most of you, I also used to love to shop. Since arthritis set into my knees, my out and about shopping is somewhat limited. I can sympathize with the person who commented on the narrowness of store aisles. When I am in these situations, I try to talk to the manager and point out the problem. I tell them that unless the situation is corrected, I won’t be back. I also let them know that I will be telling all my friends that the store is not handicapped accesible! That usually gets some response.
The internet has really saved me. I can order things that I need and either have them delivered or arrange for a friend to pick them up.
There is really only one problem with the stuff that I have accumulated over the years. (books & tapes, teddy bears and dolls, figurines & art glass, jewelry etc.) - I am now in the process of downsizing my living quarters. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to decrease the size of my living space if I have to rent storage space for my “stuff”!
Finding homes for all of the stuff can be something of a problem. I can give some to family (my nieces took care of the excess jewelry - no problems there) but there is a limit to what they can absorb. I am about to try eBay and hope I will have more luck there.
Like most of you, I can never see myself at a time that buying books will not still be part of my life. Thank goodness for the bookstores on line. Though I must admit they doesn’t compare to the sights and smells of real ones. The good news is that I have never found a bookstore with aisles to small to get through! Have a good day.
Comment by Linda Mc. — May 2, 2006 @ 2:01 am