Holiday Diet Rules
Dieting during the holidays is the worst! There are so many wonderful food items out there (and candy!) that you can only find or buy this time of the year. So, it’s hard not to indulge. Also, there are holiday parties to attend, family gatherings, and co-workers who bring in home-made cookies, candies, and other treats for everyone to enjoy. It’s so hard to resist!
I thought it was important to let everyone know that there are special rules for dieting during the holidays, and I decided to post them here so no one feels guilty about eating and enjoying themselves.
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar or other “sweet treat”, the calories in the candy is cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as chocolate, brandy, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!).
So, there you go – go forth and enjoy yourselves!
Now these are some rules I can live with!
Comment by Stacy ~ — December 14, 2006 @ 7:15 am
Thanks Janelle,
Finally rules i can live with!!!
Comment by TRICIA — December 14, 2006 @ 9:25 am
I guess I messed up the rules! I mean I’m looking at some serious pounds here and I was so sure I was following the rules. I should be skinny!!
Comment by Theresa N. — December 14, 2006 @ 9:28 am
Theresa- the one thing they forget to put in the darn rules is that an elf on a rampage can zap them and all the calories pop back into the food. That same elf has been after me for years. So far, I have managed to avoid him this season (yes, it always is a him.)
Comment by ev — December 14, 2006 @ 9:56 am
Too cute!!! My all-time favorite holiday food is egg nog (we’re talking MAJOR calories), but I never consider it fattening because, of course, anything you can drink can’t be THAT fattening, right? My head says no, but my hips . . . They’ve got a different story entirely.
Comment by Kimberly Raye — December 14, 2006 @ 10:04 am
LOL Janelle. I needed that this morning.
Comment by katie — December 14, 2006 @ 10:31 am
Loved the rules, I can adhere to those quite easily……..thanks for the smiles……..
Comment by Cryna — December 14, 2006 @ 10:39 am
And I was starting to feel guilty! Thanks for getting me back on track.
Comment by Patricia W — December 14, 2006 @ 10:48 am
Kim — I love egg nog, too. I haven’t had any this season — yet. Maybe I’ll have one glass, and I’ll drink it while standing.
Comment by Janelle — December 14, 2006 @ 10:49 am
I love these rules! They are now my motto for life!
Comment by Shannon Upright — December 14, 2006 @ 11:29 am
FINALLY–diet rules that actually make some sense! Thanks Janelle for clearing that up!! :thumbsup2:
Comment by Leslie — December 14, 2006 @ 11:36 am
I love those rules! Wish I knew about them sooner.
Comment by Susan — December 14, 2006 @ 11:38 am
sounds so darn good
Comment by kim H — December 14, 2006 @ 12:51 pm
Comment by Donna M — December 14, 2006 @ 1:05 pm
Love the rules!!! Now I can have boiled custard with real whip cream…as long as I stand while drinking.
Comment by Liza — December 14, 2006 @ 1:54 pm
Thanks! I needed to smile today. I lost beloved family mnember this morning and have had a very emotional day:cry:
Also, I needed to know that my tear-influenced eating today would not be under scrutiny.
Have a good day!
Comment by Debbie — December 14, 2006 @ 1:57 pm
Debbie so sorry
Those are very good rules Janelle:thumbsup2:
Comment by Cherylann — December 14, 2006 @ 2:33 pm
Comment by Jennifer K. — December 14, 2006 @ 3:06 pm
My kinda rules!
Comment by Estella — December 14, 2006 @ 4:02 pm
(We ALL know how calories like to cling!).
Oh yeah Janelle we all konw especially me. LOL
My hubby both my grand some boxes of chocolate covered cherries.
Yes I did. I am eating them.
I am a terrible Grammy.
Have them in my desk drawer. After all I am on a diet I couldn’t actually buy them for myself.
I did run to the store and replace the box that is now safely wrapped.
Well let’s hope it’s safe. :mrgreen:
Comment by jeannie — December 14, 2006 @ 4:02 pm
I find myself agreeing with each and every one of these rules! And majority rules, right?
Comment by Julie S — December 14, 2006 @ 5:58 pm
These rules should be in force all year long!
Comment by Carly — December 14, 2006 @ 6:49 pm
LOL
Rose
Comment by Rose — December 14, 2006 @ 7:27 pm
Love the ‘dieting for holiday rules’. I can definitely get through the holiday season with those. I think I need to post them on my refrigerator door so I feel better when I open it to get some little tidbit out for myself or even when making meals at home…ha,ha. Yes, I have a whole new outlook on eating for the holidays now. Next we just have to stretch the holidays from January 1st all the way thru December 31st and we are good to go.
Comment by Shari C — December 14, 2006 @ 8:12 pm
definitely rules to live by. Great list.
Comment by cathy — December 14, 2006 @ 9:06 pm
Debbie, I’m so sorry for your loss.
These rules…do our bodies know about them? I mean, is there a way to post them so the fat cells know they must obey?
Comment by Julie Leto — December 14, 2006 @ 10:43 pm