Saturday Chit-Chat (December 16)
Jeannie asked this a few weeks ago in the comments section…and it’s a GREAT question! Thanks!
How does a female author really know how a male thinks and feels? Do you ever ask a male if in this situation or that he would think it like you write it?
CP: GREAT question. First, I went to a workshop years ago by Elda Minger and I will never forget some of the advice. Real men don’t apologize or ask questions/permission. OK I don’t always stick to this but it helps as a guide. There are also words I think of as girly that I just would never let my men use or at least I try to catch it. I have asked my husband on occasion too. But I think there is a huge difference between male and female POV, thought, dialogue and it’s important to try to be aware of it when writing.
LK: Great question! As a reader, it always really drove me crazy when I read books and a hero would think, say, or do something a guy SO wouldn’t think/say/do! So I am very conscious of that as I write. My hubby and I joke all the time that I was the guy in our last life–I’m a linear thinker, a little aggressive, not terribly sentimental, and a total remote hog.
JEL: I listen to guys a lot. I grew up with three brothers and each of them had at least three friends at the house all the time, all the way through, well…now. I still see most of them and I listen a lot. I watch men on television and in movies. I still slip up, I’m sure, but when I do my final read through on a book, I’m very conscious of point of view and try to really take out anything that doesn’t fit. I hope I do a good job! None of the men who read my books (my older brother, my father and my husband’s two best friends) ever complain!
JD: I also grew up with two older brothers, but unfortunately I never paid much attention to their “male talk”, LOL! We all know that men do think differently than women, and I try to keep that in mind as I write. However, when I do slip up, Carly, who reads my stuff, is quick to point it out and has no problem telling me when my hero sounds like a sissy!
I think you girls have the gist of what a man ought to say and do.
At least you do share them with us.
Carly I like the part “I just would never let my men use ” I like that you think of them as your men.
I also think real men ‘do say I’m sorry’. It might take a bit of doing but they do say it.:doggie:
Julie, it looks like you had so many years of the ‘male’ experience. It is good that you found a place to use all your knowlege.
And Leslie I wish I was more like you ,but I don’t hog the remote I usually toss it to my DH or one of the kids. I know I’m sad, but that is when I grab a book and start reading.:doggie::doggie:
Comment by Gigi — December 16, 2006 @ 9:55 am
That is a great question. I’m reading a book now that has a lot of things in it that I just don’t think a guy would say or think - like when he told her something was “lovely” (yak). It’s made it difficult to get through the whole book but I’m persevering. As someone who hopes to someday write, I’m looking at it as a learning experience and this question was at a great time to reinforce what I’m seeing in that book.
Thanks! Have a great weekend.
Comment by Jodie — December 16, 2006 @ 10:29 am
Jodie- My hubby says lovely (or things like it) very sarcastically. Cracks me up when he does. Of course, he is from a very different generation (more like 2) than I am, so we sometimes butt heads. :thumbsup2:
I also agree with Jodie- reading a book where the pov is off kilter just makes it a horrible read. But they make great missles going into the “drop it off at the library” box!!
Have a great weekend everyone and Carly- Happy Hanakkuah!! We are heading to the big city tomorrow for a Hanakkuah party at the kid’s place. Should be fun- as usual, we are the only gentiles there!! But I love seeing the new friends we have made over the years. Any excuse for a party and get together I say!!
Comment by ev — December 16, 2006 @ 11:16 am
Thanks so much these were great answers. I so respect all of you and your ability to entertain my reading obsession with with such realistic
stories. I just knew your answers would be interesting. I had always wondered.
Carly, I sure have one of these:
“Real men don’t apologize or ask questions/permission.”
Leslie, these sure make sense to me:
Heroes don’t whine. They don’t jabber. They don’t talk about their feelings until forced to, they think about sex a lot, and they speak differently to other men than they do the heroine.
Julie,” I hope I do a good job.”
I’ve never been disappointed.
Janelle, “However, when I do slip up, Carly, who reads my stuff, is quick to point it out and has no problem telling me when my hero sounds like a sissy! ”
I can’t even imagine you slipping up. However if that happens you have a the right person for the heads up.
Thank-you all for answering my question.
I hope you all have wonderful Holidays.
Happy Hanukkah Carly.
Comment by jeannie — December 16, 2006 @ 1:27 pm
I so respect all of you and your ability to entertain my reading obsession with with such realistic stories.
:love2:Carly, I sure have one of these:
“Real men don’t apologize or ask questions/permission.”
Heroes don’t whine. They don’t jabber. They don’t talk about their feelings until forced to, they think about sex a lot, and they speak differently to other men than they do the heroine.
I’ve never been disappointed.
I can’t even imagine you slipping up. However if that happens you have a the right person, Carly, for the friendly heads up.
:love2:Thank-you all for answering my question. :love2:
I hope you all have wonderful Holidays. 
Thank you for bringing such wonderful romantic visions and stories into my life.
:lightbulb:Happy Hanukkah:lightbulb: Carly.:love2:
Hugs and prayers,
jeannie
Comment by jeannie — December 16, 2006 @ 1:37 pm
Thank you for such great answers. I just realized that the book that I was reading last week - which was an anthology with four authors in it - had one story that really dragged for me. I couldn’t put a reason to it and thought it was my mood, but now when I think back it was the hero who just didn’t come across for me………..must be tired for not to have picked up on it before.
You are all such great writers, and you each have heroes to die for……..LOL………thanks for everything.
Comment by Cryna — December 16, 2006 @ 2:28 pm
Love these Saturday blogs!
Comment by Estella — December 16, 2006 @ 5:54 pm
Great question & answers. I grew up with two younger brothers so have been around males! Also, my mom had 3 brothers & my dad had 3 brothers! Males were around!! My uncles were all big teasers so I give back as good as I get!!
It is self-defense!! 
Carly, Happy Hanukkah. :love2:
Comment by Donna M — December 16, 2006 @ 6:42 pm