Dear Anonymous Letter Writer
Yesterday, I received an envelope from Harlequin. Inside was a letter addressed to me. It had been opened and read by the reader service, which is what they do there. This is what the letter said (the grammar, punctuation, spelling errors are original to the work):
Julie Elizabeth Leto–
This being a Harlequin Book thought it would be a good Book boy was I surprised “a dirty Book”–thank God I have no young people in the house who got this dirty book. I know people do the things you discribe in your writing How do you know about this kind of doings? Do you do this? You should have printed on the Book Cover “Dirty Book”–I suppose you think Hollywood will make a movie of your work. For what is coming out of Hollywood you may get a Contract or Porno Movie. You may act in it since you seem to know so much of the Action
It wasn’t signed.
Dear Letter Writer,
:biteme:
Signed,
Julie Elizabeth Leto
That feels better. I’d rather say it to her directly, but the coward didn’t sign her name or leave a return address. All it had was this handwritten note…oh, and the cover of my book, torn in two.
What would I have really written had the woman been brave enough to leave her name…let me try again.
Dear Uptight Bitch,
Thank you so much for your letter! Although the book, DOUBLE THE PLEASURE, is over three years old, I wanted you to know that your purchase pushed me over the top in sales and I received a huge bonus as a result. THANK YOU! I’m so glad you enjoyed it well enough to take the time to write, because I can’t imagine that someone would carve out a portion of their day just to be self-righteous and cruel to someone they don’t even know. I mean, readers who see the BIG WHITE BLAZE on the BRIGHT RED COVER obviously realize this book is going to be sexually explicit. Especially when it says, “Red Hot Reads” on the back cover.
As for your suggestion that I re-title the book “Dirty Book,” isn’t it great how great minds think alike? I have two books on the shelves right now called DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS and DIRTY LITTLE LIES. Clearly, they are right up your alley!
Thanks again for taking the time to write and I hope that all of the positive thoughts you put out toward others come back to you ten times. You deserve it!
That “dirty” writer,
Julie Elizabeth Leto
(The bonus thing is a lie…but hey, it’s fun, yes?)
I often ask myself why people feel the need to write authors and tell them all the stuff they did wrong–or worse, to rake someone they’ve never met over the coals and attack them personally (though the fact that someone thinks I should star in my own porn movie isn’t ENTIRELY insulting…but close.) I’ve written many authors to tell them how much I love their work, but never to insult or criticize. I figure if a book doesn’t work for me, it’s just a matter of personal taste.
Ah, well. I console myself with the fact that this woman likely isn’t getting any–and what she’s getting probably isn’t any good.
And she gave me a topic for my blog…which is always a good thing.
OOH good topic. I received a similar letter. Suggested I wash my mouth out with soap for having the word “shit” in my book. My books talk like real people. I thought my hero would think that at the time. Too bad they don’t just get their money back at the book store and let that be that. Instead they have to pass out bad Karma. I believe in that. Earl has a point. I like your
Julie!
Comment by Carly — October 25, 2006 @ 6:20 am
After reading her letter I have a hard time believing the woman was even capable of reading your book.
Comment by Maureen — October 25, 2006 @ 6:46 am
Good grief, some people are just plain nuts. I would hate to be living with that kind of person. Seriously. Anyone that thinks books about committed relationships and hot sex is dirty is no party, I’m sure. You ladies just keep on writing, cuz there are lots of us who love what you do, and wouldn’t have it any other way. The Plotmonkeys rock!
Comment by Stacy ~ — October 25, 2006 @ 6:52 am
I don’t know what to say, and that doesn’t happen a lot!
I agree with Maureen, I wondered about her abilities to read it. And obviously she doesn’t have great eyesight because the cover itself is pretty hot. My second thought was the same as Julie’s - she ain’t gettin’ any! The way I see it, the husbands of writers must absolutely LOVE IT when it comes time to do some research.
I now have something else to add to my “Things I’m thankful for” list - I’m not her!! From one reader that loves all the Plotmonkey’s work - thank you, thank you, thank you.
Comment by Jodie — October 25, 2006 @ 8:16 am
Comment by Rhonda — October 25, 2006 @ 8:17 am
I have only ever sent a letter once to an author that wasn’t totally positive- and that wasn’t the story line, but because there was a major snafu in it. As it was the first in a new series, she fixed the problem and that was that. No I’m upset with what she wrote- the book was, as usual, awesome. It was just a technicality, albeit an important one.
Comment by ev — October 25, 2006 @ 8:40 am
Julie, was the letter postmarked from Texas? If so, it was probably from the same woman who wrote to me after reading Relentless–you know, the book with the NAKED GUY on the cover, sitting next to a woman in a NEGLIGEE in a BED–to tell me I was filthy and disgusting and was going to burn in hell for writing such a badnastydirtysexbook.
I’m with you–karma baby, all the way.
Comment by Leslie — October 25, 2006 @ 8:42 am
I’ve never had a letter calling my books dirty, but I do consistently get letters pointing out every missing comma, period or any other little error. I’m serious. I had an editor from hell edit a portion of a descriptive paragraph one time–to make a long story short, the location I gave was slightly off because of her edit. I actually had a reader write to me and give me two pages of explicit directions (what she felt I should have put in my book). It’s crazy what people will take the time to write. Julie, I LOVED your letter. I usually send the generic “Thanks for taking the time to write. Kim appreciates hearing from all readers, yada . . .” I definitely would have sent it. What also amazes me is that the publisher will forward such letters. I’ve had wierd and totally inappropriate prison letters before, and like clockwork, my pub will send it along even if the letter is way creepy and I might end up with a stalker. Shouldn’t this be considered trash mail and dumped? Or would that violate federal law?
Comment by Kimberly Raye — October 25, 2006 @ 9:02 am
Don’t let these boobs get you down…..oh how fitting I called them a dirty filthy word. LOL!! I am positive you have more fans than critics.
Comment by Kelly F. — October 25, 2006 @ 9:04 am
I have to agree with Maureen, there is no way the person who wrote the letter was able to read and comprehend the book. If you have the guts enough to write a letter telling the author what you didn’t like about the book, you should have the guts to put your address on the envelope.
Too bad there wasn’t an return address, because I have a copy of Sasha White’s The Cop she would LOVE !!!!!!
Comment by TRICIA — October 25, 2006 @ 9:24 am
Oh, I can’t WAIT to see what I get for my first Blaze. It opens with what one contest judge called, “nothing more than a glorified masturbation scene”. An RWA contest judge!! Of course, my reaction was, “Yeah, and the problem with that IS??” LOL!
I’m with Maureen. This was definitely written by someone with no more than a 3rd grade education, so try to consider the source and thank the fact that she gave us all something fun to talk about today.
Comment by Lori Borrill — October 25, 2006 @ 9:36 am
Comment by katie — October 25, 2006 @ 9:39 am
Lori,
With that statement I went and pre ordered Private Confessions! I can’t wait to read it!!!!!!!
Comment by TRICIA — October 25, 2006 @ 9:54 am
Julie,
I live by the rule if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. (Of course behind closed doors is another matter.)
The woman that wrote the letter my have a reading comprehension problem. Of course when we (the readers ) see a Harlequin Blaze we should know that is HOT.. What is a definition of Blaze anyway, something HOT.
Good grief :wallbash: I know there have been a few times over the past 25 years that I have put a book down,but only because it didn’t grab me in the first 100 pages or 3 chapters.
My main reason for putting a book down is if there is some kind of animal or child cruelty. I can take all the SEX and romance but the world is cruel enough I don’t like to read about it in fiction.
I wish the Reader service had just thrown the letter in the trash. That is where it belongs.:doggie:
ps. I totally agree with all the others on the blog
Comment by Gigi — October 25, 2006 @ 10:22 am
Thanks Tricia! You just officially doubled my sales. LOL!
Comment by Lori Borrill — October 25, 2006 @ 10:25 am
Lol you go girl! Why would someone want to insult a person they have never met?! I have written to an author before to tell her I didn’t really like her newest book (and neither did over half of my book group but I didn’t tell her this) but I owned and adored all of her other books. Someone wrote back to me and asked me why would I take the time to tell someone I didn’t like their books as well as a few insulting things when I had praised her for being such a good writer except that this particular book was lacking what the others had. Guess where all her books that I owned went? Right into the library bookswap and I refuse to buy any of her other books ever again.
Comment by Jen W — October 25, 2006 @ 10:29 am
This bitch needs to get a life!! People like that are so miserable with their life that they have to go out of their way to mess with people.
Comment by Tina — October 25, 2006 @ 10:31 am
Julie,
You are such a talented writer, please ignore that ignorant person. Obviuosly, she has english issues–her grammer is pathetic.
Some people just like to make other people feel bad in order to feel better about themselves.
Keep up the good work–I enjoy your stories, each and every one of them. As a matter of fact, I just bought and read I’ll be home for Chritmas last night and your story was amazingly wonderful.
Comment by Debbie — October 25, 2006 @ 10:48 am
Well, not sure what this says about me but I’m now out to find “The Cop” and “Private Confessions.”
Anybody have any other really great suggestions for sending this lady further off her rocker that I need to know about and get myself?
Comment by Jodie — October 25, 2006 @ 11:43 am
so not true, don’t listen to them
Comment by kim H — October 25, 2006 @ 11:43 am
Okay… yeah…. I’m not sure WHAT to say to that except that I buy into the theory that she couldn’t have read the book anyway. What a coward….
It kills me that she tore the book cover - now she can’t even sell the thing! :wallbash:
Keep on writing - what you are doing WORKS!
Lara
Comment by Lara — October 25, 2006 @ 11:54 am
I love your reply!
Comment by Susan — October 25, 2006 @ 11:56 am
My daughter says i now have to find the book so she can read it. She found the letter hilarious.
Jen W- I wonder who wrote the letter- the author or someone on her staff? Would be interesting to know if the author even knew about it.
Comment by ev — October 25, 2006 @ 1:10 pm
Julie, your response is priceless and I wish you were able to send this idiot woman your reply.
As authors, we receive all kinds of reader mail — most of those letters are wonderful and give us that validation that we’re doing something right, but there are others that are insulting, hurtful, and downright malicious. And those mean-spirited letters can ruin a perfectly good day for an author — and make them question their ability to write (which we do often enough, anyway!).
Yes, believe it or not, most writers are Insecure Weenies!
Comment by Janelle — October 25, 2006 @ 2:14 pm
I love your response. I have never written an author to tell her I didn’t enjoy her book and can’t see myself ever doing so. It just feels wrong and cruel…no one made this person buy this book. I am not sure what makes people insult those they don’t know or what the person thought she’d gain from doing so.
Comment by Jennifer Y. — October 25, 2006 @ 2:28 pm
HI Julie,
I just discovered you at freshfiction.com and I have ordered both Dirty Little Secrets and Dirty Little Lies! I can’t wait to read them!
I think your publisher should have trashed that letter! Who needs it? I love your response though. I think the woman is blind and stupid, for goodness sakes the cover is a BLAZE!
Comment by Carol — October 25, 2006 @ 3:08 pm
You were a little more reserved than I would have been. People who write anonymous letters really tick me off!
Comment by Estella — October 25, 2006 @ 3:49 pm
Julie I loved your reply letter that you never got a chance to send to the uninformed person that wrote to you. Gee she must be the politian from Texas’ wife………..
I am not sure why people who have negative things to say must get it out there……Maybe she was jealous of all the action in the book and she was getting none……….. 
People like that really make me mad and I find their thinking :twisted:
Comment by Cryna — October 25, 2006 @ 5:00 pm
I’m with Ev, she must have read the book. If she doesn’t like HOT, SEXY books why did she buy it??!!
I read that book & it’s companion book, enjoyed them both!! Because the Internet gives access to authors I have contacted several to let them know how much I enjoyed a book, but to tell them I hated it–no way! Julie, I love your response letter even though you can’t send it to her! To bad this woman is not able to enjoy life but that won’t stop the rest of us!! 
Comment by Donna M — October 25, 2006 @ 5:53 pm
People like that have small minds and I loved your comments about your “dirty” book titles. Good one.
Comment by Pat L. — October 25, 2006 @ 6:40 pm
What a stupid, ignorant, self-righteous bitch. :evil:
Comment by Heather Harper — October 25, 2006 @ 7:07 pm
Oh gee I called the dirty little lies and dirty little secrets the “Dirty Books” in jest. Cripe! I loved them. You know, Julie, it takes all kinds to make up the world we live in. You can please all the people all of the time. You make me happy. I’m an important person. My mother said so.
to celebrate
Looks like you should get the last 
I enjoy reading a wonderful love story and feel bad for anyone who looks at anything in your books as dirty. I wonder why that person didn’t sent the book and just sent the cover. Hmmm. Let’s have a
the new sales of this book this post will generate thanks to an un-signed letter
Comment by jeannie — October 25, 2006 @ 7:12 pm
Okay the was can’t please all the people all the time. Geech!
Comment by jeannie — October 25, 2006 @ 7:19 pm
How rude! Glad to see that you don’t let small minded people get you down! Hope she never gets her hands on a Karen Marie Moning book….
Comment by Sherry — October 25, 2006 @ 7:25 pm
Yeah I was thinking she should try ellorah’s cave books. LOL
Oh, OH! Julie I got it! She is the wife of the garbage man and wanted to
report you to your boss. LOL
Comment by jeannie — October 25, 2006 @ 7:31 pm
Julie,
What goes around comes around. Maybe not in her case. It was cowardly not to sign the letter. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but put your money where your mouth is. So, she read the book, probably couldn’t put it down. Talk about hot and bothered. Keep up the good work you handled it like a pro.
Comment by Sandra — October 25, 2006 @ 8:58 pm
Not only hot and bothered, but probably no one who knows how to cool her down!!!! My bad!!
Comment by ev — October 25, 2006 @ 9:32 pm
Comment by Renee — October 25, 2006 @ 11:56 pm
Well, hey, at least you put your name on the book cover. She doesn’t even bother to sign her name to the letter. I think she is one of those people who get all hot and bothered over something but don’t read the facts. :|
Julie, and all the Plot Monkeys, keep up the great work and keep the dirty books coming!!!!:thumbsup2:
Comment by PattiF — October 26, 2006 @ 12:42 am
Julie, I enjoyed your much more than the “reader’s.”
Comment by Diana — October 26, 2006 @ 1:27 am
Yikes, I meant to write: I enjoyed your letter much more than the “reader’s.”
Comment by Diana — October 26, 2006 @ 1:28 am
Loved your reply letter.
Obviously she’s a coward 
and some day will get her comeuppance! 
Comment by catslady — October 26, 2006 @ 1:27 pm
Julie, I’m really late reading this one today so I don’t know if you will see it or not. What gets me is the woman must have read the book if she knew enough about it write you. Why would she read it in the first place.
Now as far as sending a letter without signing her name…
People who do that really make me p*ssed. I don’t understand them.
I loved your letter that you would send her, however if it was me I would have wanted to let her have it with both barrels and then some. So…if you ever find out and would like one of your readers/friends to write her…well…I’m there for you.
Can’t wait to see you at the meeting…it was not the same without at the last one.
Comment by Vicki — October 26, 2006 @ 8:39 pm
Julie,
Reminds me of the day I picked up a letter at the post office and thought, “Oh, great! A letter from a fan.” NOT. She raked me over the coals for writing filth. Told me it was even worse than a Blaze (my “dirty” book was a Temptation and far from insulted, I was actually rather flattered:twisted
and that it was PORNO. Then she went on to ask if I did everything in my book or if I just made it up?
Unfortunately, she didn’t give a return address either, because I would’ve certainly written her back.
All I can say to you is keeping writing those “dirty” books, sister!
Comment by Jen — October 27, 2006 @ 4:12 pm
Before I got sick several years ago, and lost my mind (not totAlly but enough that I could no longer handle what I call “fat” books, I used to read biographys, political ’stuff’ and mysteries - and more mysteries, and one of the advantages to a short term memory problem is that I could go through the multiple boxes of books and reread many of them. But I foulnd I liked reading the Harlequin suspense and romance and occasionally the Blaze. The first Blaze I read was very interesting and eye opening - growing up in Boston, I still turn purple when telling a slightly off color joke, so I spent several red faced evenings with this Blaze - not that I am complaining other than its not one I would have read knowing I ws going to be alone - a dedicated partner would have been fantastic.
But what I think is really funny,happened when I returned it to the library - I mentioned to a friend who works ther (does most of the requests, that some of her little old ladies might get upset - she told me this particular had been requested by one of the age 80 bracket widows - they ate them up (no pun intended) I think the reader who was so horrified, so buy the Love inspired suspense - no premrital sex etc just a cute through dull mystery. I find myself looking each month for the new Harlequin order at the library, though I usually fine the Senior citizens from the complex across the street from the library has been there first so I wait my turn Get a life - if you were ever married, I can well imagine what you sex life was like - I am in my 60’s and think Blaze books are just great!!! Only wish I had a steady partner to try all the moves out!!!!!
:biteme:
francie -ladies keep those blaze coming!!!!! if I have to go without sex at least I can read great stories about it.
Comment by Francie Bowden — October 31, 2006 @ 9:53 pm
I can’t type worth beans and should have written in word first so spellcheck was available - not dumb (I don’t think) but I apologize for the typos
so sorry!!!!!
just keep on writing - maybe she needs to read sexy lexy or flyboy - sexy but humorous and I will take sez in a book as thats it for now
Comment by Francie — October 31, 2006 @ 9:58 pm