I’m really not a troublemaker…I swear!
Trouble just sort of *finds* me. Trust me when I tell you, I’m not the type to go looking for it. I think the problem is that I see trouble where other people shut their eyes. The more reasonable sorts walk away. I don’t. I can’t. It’s not in my genetic makeup. In a previous life, I was a mercenary. A ninja. At the very least, a great thumb wrestler.
But I’m not talking about physical trouble. Oh, no. I can pretty much stay away from that with no regrets. I haven’t been in a physical fight since I was at least 10, if you take my brothers out of the mix. My trouble is normally the more verbal kind. Spoken, written, doesn’t matter. If there’s a controversy, chances are I’m in the middle somewhere.
And yesterday, I was sent to the principal’s office.
Boy, that hasn’t happened to me since I was teaching!
You see, it went like this. Our school has a new principal. She’s very nice. Of course, the first time I met her was to argue with her over the new school uniform policy, but we came to a nice compromise and all has been well. Until Friday.
As you may have guessed from previous posts, I’m an overprotective mother. I have one child and I’m pretty fierce about keeping an eye on her. It’s how I got roped into being homeroom mom. Homeroom moms hang around school. They keep an eye on things. This is good. One of the things I also do is walk my daughter to class in the morning and then pick her up at her door in the afternoon.
After watching the news this week alone, I’m very confident that this isn’t a bad thing. Our school has a somewhat “open” campus, like many Florida schools. Little by little, new security fences have gone up. New procedures for ensuring our kids were safe, first, from the bevy of construction workers around the place while the renovations were done, then from people who simply don’t belong on campus. We now have everyone sign in on a computer in the office. We had a lock-down on the first day of school (gunman in the area–and this is a safe part of town) and things went like clockwork. There are safety measures, but in my estimation, not quite enough to satisfy the “what-if” brain I possess (which you have all read about before!)
So, I meet my child at her classroom every day.
And on Friday, the principal declared–literally–that we had to go. Parents were being barred from the courtyards. In one sweeping declaration, we were sent away, told to report to the car line of all places. Those of you who have been anywhere near an elementary school car line know this is not a happy or peaceful place. I avoid it like the plague.
Now there were nearly 30 of us there when the announcement was made. I was NOT the only person to strongly object to this change in policy. But I didn’t get to present a good, logical argument with six hundred kids suddenly pouring out of classrooms. I had to go get my daughter before she thought I’d forgotten to show up.
(By the way, I’m painfully aware that my childhood of being “forgotten” at school at least one hundred times by my working mother is behind this obsession I have with being at school early every day. I’m well aware of my various neuroses, thankyouverymuch.)
I wasn’t the only parent to object, but I was the only one to go home and write out an email outlining my points in painfully honest assessment. I waited an hour before I hit send. I figured, hey, she’ll have a few days to mull it over. We never run into each other.
So who is the first person I see yesterday morning after delivering my darling to her class? Yep, you guessed it. The principal. She gave me a wicked smile, pointed her finger at me and said, “I want to talk to you.”
Oooooh….flashback.
“Can you wait in my office?”
Sure, I say. Only I didn’t. I’m not a fool. I was a student and a teacher (and in both instances, found myself called on the carpet one too many times) long enough to know you never give them the advantage of waiting on their home turf. I waited in the lobby and joined her when she came in.
She wasn’t angry. Oh, no! She thought I made valid points. It was refreshing! We had a nice long talk and came to a very nice compromise. The parents are going to be allowed on campus, but not in a place where they block the hallways at dismissal time and where we can be kept in a central location so that any strangers will stand out more. My friends and I had staked out a picnic bench under a tree for our waiting previously. But the mommy’s with strollers sort of block everything and it was causing a bottleneck. And the poor principal had been under the belief that a letter had gone home explaining the new policy the day before she came out to make her pronouncement. When she realized none of us had a clue what she was talking about, she understood why we were all reacting so strongly.
So once again, we compromised. Gave us a chance to chit-chat, for me to brag on my daughter’s teacher who I happen to think walks on water. I promised to unleash my honed pen on the school board, who is dragging their collective feet on a few things the school needs. All in all, it wasn’t a bad confrontation. She’s a reasonable woman who is strong enough in her convictions to hear opposing views. I think we’re going to get along just fine. We understand each other. She understands that when I speak up about something, I’m not being mean or unreasonable or even bitchy. I’m just opinionated. Sue me.
This weekend, on the way home from dinner, my husband and I got into some “discussion” about something and this man I’ve been married to for fifteen years, who I dated for five before that, said to me, “You should have been on the debate team.”
I merely arched a brow. “I was captain.”
He wasn’t surprised.
Next week, I’ll tell you about me vs. the garbage men. “I’m ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!!!”
There’s one in every crowd LOL. Seriously though, I can see your point - no warning. And you thought it through before sending out your response. Not everyone would be so calm. And compromise is good.
Comment by Stacy ~ — October 4, 2006 @ 6:45 am
Too funny! I can *so* see you doing this. :-)
At my kids’ school, the front doors stay locked all the time and you have to be buzzed in…but if the secretary is buzzing everyone in, then that’s not effective protection is it? I emailed a letter about that yesterday.
Comment by Rhonda — October 4, 2006 @ 7:54 am
I’m impressed, thinking before sending.
Now if you could only clone your debate skills to help the rest of us who aren’t good at it! 
Comment by Yolanda — October 4, 2006 @ 8:25 am
Julie, you have every right to be protective of your daughter. Unfortunately the world we live in now is a lot different from when we all grew up. I used to be able to walk to school alone when I was in 4th grade. When I was in 5th grade I was a crossing Guard for the younger kids in my school. You can bet not many kids walk to school alone at that age now. It’s just too dangerous.
You sound a lot like me. My husband is a cop, and once there was an editorial in our local paper bashing cops. Well of course I wrote a nice little article my self telling this person that it is nice to know my husband is one of the people she will be calling when she needs help. And that what people forget is cops don’t have holidays. So I spend Thanksgiving and Christmas without him usually. It is nice to know that people APPRECIATE the sacrifcies they and their families make to help people in need. Let’s just say after that article ran she never bashed them again.
So I say BRAVO Julie, keep sticking up for what you believe in. I know I won’t stop either.
Comment by Kelly — October 4, 2006 @ 8:36 am
And this is just one of the reasons why we buy your books! Your passion about what you believe in comes right through the pages.
Thank you.
Comment by Barbara-Jo — October 4, 2006 @ 9:09 am
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sticking up for what you believe in. Good for you, and you too Kelly.
I heard about a 5 year old being kicked out of school for…”sexual harassement.” He tripped over something and in the process of falling grabbed the little girl’s butt in front of him. She said it was an accident, he said it was an accident and the teachers backed it all up. The little boy was still kicked out. The worst part to me: his mother didn’t go to school and viciously defend this poor child.
When you’re a presence in your kids (or your spouse’s) life, they know how much you love them and the lengths that you will go to for them and to protect them. And you also showed great constraint in thinking it through and compromising - what a great example you are!!
Comment by Jodie — October 4, 2006 @ 9:26 am
Good for you, Julie. Er, Ms. Captain.
I am in the process of writing letters too. My daughter has a severe articulation disorder and she began Kindergarten this year. Since she was previously in private therapy they have to go through miles of red tape to get her in school sessions since she wasn’t being seen by school therapists. Thank the government for their “new regulations”. They say she probably will not start therapy until MAY.
So she will have wasted most of her year because her teacher can barely understand her.
I hope I can stop to think before I say something that lands me in trouble.
Comment by Heather Harper — October 4, 2006 @ 10:37 am
I saw myself in your post. I believe staff are reasonable and willing to listen. I have a great respect for our school and their staff and know that they are reasonable people.
Comment by katie — October 4, 2006 @ 10:39 am
WTG for being an overprotective and involved mom! Your daughter will be much better off for it. I don’t have kids, but I volunteer as a mentor at a city school where there’s hardly any parental involvement, and I know that frustrates the teachers.
:thumbsup2:
And yeah, these campus style schools in Florida perplex me. I grew up in the northeast and my school was an actual building, not easily accessible to outsiders. Only in Florida…
Comment by Julie S — October 4, 2006 @ 10:44 am
Way to go!! I applaud you for standing up for your rights. I did that when my daughter was in public school and always seemed to be on the wrong side of the principal. (Who refused to re-new my zone variance even though I was PTA president)
I must admit even though I work in public education, at a middle school in the dean’s office, I have never had the type of issues I had in previous years since I sent my kids to private school. It is a shame that I have to pay twice for an education. (Taxes and tuition)
You go Julie and appreciate the fact that you have such a good relationship wiht your principal.
Comment by Debbie — October 4, 2006 @ 11:20 am
Julie, good for you for standing up for your beliefs. I am so glad that I’m no longer raising children, it is scary out there! One reason I love small towns is we usually don’t have the problems there are in bigger cities. Yes, I am not crazy enough to believe there are no problems, of course there are but in a small town it is a little less crazy!
Thanks for letting me voice my opinion. 
When I was growing up I started walking to school with a friend in the 1st grade & it was several blocks. My girls had to ride the school bus as we lived out of town about 3 or 4 miles not far but the school bus came to our corner. Yea!
I have to get on my soap box & say being protective of your children is a good thing but they do have to learn how to function in this world & know how to keep themselves safe. As they get older they are not going to want mom or dad hovering all the time & you can’t keep them from venturing out into the big world even though it doesn’t seem safe & it is scary to let them out of the safety of the nest!
Comment by Donna M — October 4, 2006 @ 2:42 pm
Good going, Julie!
Comment by Estella — October 4, 2006 @ 3:17 pm
:thumbsup2: Good for you Julie. Kelly also :thumbsup2: my dad was a cop so I so understand.
I would have done the same thing. Kelly is so right the world we live in so different from when we grew up and I to walked to school and wouldn’t think of my son doing it. He is an only child also.
His school had a bomb threat last week and I didn’t know until he called me when he got home from school because the night before he was a little mouthy with me and hubby took the cell phone away well I called hubby and told him to gve him his phone back when he got home from work because there was a bomb threat at school.
Comment by Cherylann Natale — October 4, 2006 @ 4:34 pm
Way to go Julie, I am so glad that things worked out for the benefit of all the parents. It is great that you stand up for what you believe in. I have done that in the past as well…….But kudos to waiting before you sent your email and giving yourself a chance to cool down……….:thumbsup2:
Comment by Cryna — October 4, 2006 @ 5:24 pm
WTG!!! Keep standing up for yourself(and your daughter). The school systems are so scary now, parents have to keep watch just to keep their kids safe now. Keep up the great work!
Comment by Liza — October 4, 2006 @ 5:45 pm
YOU ARE THE BEST MOM EVER!!!! You should run for President of the Mom club! I’d vote for you. I love love love that you fight for what you think is right and the safety of the children.
Comment by Suezette — October 4, 2006 @ 5:52 pm
Comment by ~^^~Elsie~^^~ — October 4, 2006 @ 9:51 pm
LOL!! I read this blog to my husband over the phone and told him I wasn’t the only bulldog mom out there. Honestly, if we dont fight for our kids, then who will? Not only that, but what does the passive attitude teach them? To lie down and take it however it gets dished?! I think not!
My girls(all 4 of them) know to be reliant upon no man, take pride in your work, and always remember your self worth.:thumbsup2:
Comment by Sheryl M — October 4, 2006 @ 9:53 pm
I was considered an overprotective mom, and a single one to boot, but she graduated HS, didn’t get pregnant, doesn’t smoke, do drugs (she’s old enough to drink now) and goes to college and works. I am a big believer in parents “interfering” in their kids school lives. I wish more of them would do it.
Comment by ev — October 4, 2006 @ 9:56 pm
Julie, you poor thing.
I know what you are feeling. I was also one of the mothers that parked her car walked both girls to class until they were lots older. I went early to sign them out at 2:30 and pick them up before the pick up line started.
like you I was the forgotten daughter of a working mother. Nothing scarier than being left at school after most have the kids have been picked up and the grown ups outside go away.
I also know how anrgy the changes of policy can be when no one lets you know ahead of time.
I want to say some ugly things about the school administration. Let’s just say I have my reasons.
:doggie::doggie::doggie::doggie::doggie::doggie::doggie::doggie::doggie:
Comment by Gigi — October 5, 2006 @ 9:30 am
I can’t wait to read Julie vs. the garbage men!
Comment by Susan — October 5, 2006 @ 10:55 am
Trouble seems to find me too, but it seems you handle yours much more gracefully and graciously than I do, lol.
Comment by Jill — October 6, 2006 @ 11:43 am
Sadly, MOST times, the principal at my daughter’s school isn’t so understanding or cooperative.
And it’s something I rant about quite often on my blog. LOL
From one over-protective mom to another….good for you!!
Comment by Cindy — October 8, 2006 @ 7:53 pm