I’m off to Florida today – meeting up with Julie for the weekend 
and b/c my dad’s in the hospital there 
but I have a great visitor for you while I’m gone. If you don’t know, author Theresa Meyers is also the publicist who helped me get on Kelly Ripa’s Bookclub with The Bachelor and who held my hand all the way through! Theresa is now a published author and I’m thrilled to introduce her to you here on Plotmonkeys! So please give her a warm jungle welcome!
Minimizing Holiday Stress
by Theresa Meyers
Thanks for letting me visit! The Plotmonkeys are some of my favorite people. Today I’d thought we’d tackle something we’re all looking at this time of year: Minimizing Holiday Stress (Or why you can’t be all things to all people).
I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. You know what I’m talking about. You love the festive feel. You hate the hauling out all the decorations, then having to take them all down again. You love the big family meals filled with tradition and foods you remember. You hate the shopping, cooking and dishes. You have school activities, social engagements, work deadlines and family matters to cope with. So why do we put ourselves through all of this every year?
Because we want the memories. We want the warm, fuzzy feelings that somehow make us feel more alive. What we don’t want, or need, is the stress.
So what can you do? I’ve got five tips for you!
1. Hire Yourself An Elf
Who says you have to be the one to do EVERYTHING? Make a list of everything you think you need to do. Mark the items it’s possible could be done by someone else. Hire one of the neighborhood teens to string up lights for you outside, shovel snow, wrap packages in your living room, hand address envelopes with holiday cards or hire your own teens to make that run to the grocery store with the last-minute list. They’ll be thrilled with the income, since they’d like to shop for the holidays, and you’ll have a few more hours to get what you need to done.
2. Set Aside Silent Nights
During the holidays it can often seem like we’re simply running from one event to the next. After all, there are only a few weekends in the month and it seems like work, school, our writing groups, our friends, our social groups and family all try to set up their parties on the same days. The result is we get way overscheduled. Do yourself and your family a favor. Set aside at least three days during the month (better if it’s one day a week), where you don’t make social calls or take them. A silent night, where you can all just snuggle in, play games together or watch movies. A time just to be your little family and enjoy one another.
3. Change Up Tradition
Just because you’ve ALWAYS done it that way, doesn’t mean you have to continue doing it that way. Take a realistic look at the activities you have as tradition in your family. Do you really need to be up until 3 am making bonbons by hand just because people know you do every year? Do you absolutely have to send out holiday cards? Pick whatever thing stresses you out most about the holiday traditions and see what you can do to either modify it or drop it completely. Often by changing up that one thing, you’ll relieve a lot of your stress load.
4. Shift Your Focus
Nothing changes your stress level like a new perspective. Instead of a mountain of gifts for the kidlets, consider giving them only a few and then having them pick out things for a giving tree for others, or spending one night at a food bank, children’s hospital or women’s shelter with them helping out. You’ll be making more of an impression on them as a life-lesson than you’ll ever know about how the season is about giving, as well as giving them a new perspective of how much they already have. Remember showing is way more effective than telling!
5. Make Work a Party
For some reason we often think we have to do it all. We don’t. For big tasks, like wrapping all the presents or making cookies or treats for the holiday festivities, why not do with friends? Everyone can bring their own wrapping and you can share, or bring one of the main ingredients, or make so many sets of cookies for a cookie exchange so you all can enjoy lots of different cookies. Set aside one day or evening when you can all get together and share the load. By working as a group you’ll get way more done, have more fun and find it finishes faster. Besides, really, having a fun evening with your friends is just plain fun.
Holiday stress is often a result of feeling we have too much to do, or have contact with people who truly push our buttons. We forget that we truly can’t be all things to all people. Trust me, I understand. I’ve got two books out right now, writing on three more before April, with kids in dance team and band, with concerts, fundraisers and more to take care of all during the holidays. It can be overwhelming but these tips help.
So pick out what truly matters. Focus on that. Simplify the rest. And for goodness sake, don’t forget to give yourself a gift! Give yourself one day where you can do whatever it is you wish. Let everyone know in advance that is your day off for the month. Indulge yourself in a hot bubble bath, a pedicure or a good book. Let them eat mac n’ cheese or takeout pizza. The world won’t collapse without you for a day. I promise.
Bonus! Shadowlander is up right now on sale for only 99 cents for both Kindle and Nook.
Here’s a little bit about SHADOWLANDER:
Four sisters, three rules to live by, one big problem.
O’Connell Family Rule #1: Don’t let the Fae know you see them.
O’Connell Family Rule #2: Don’t talk to the Fae.
O’Connell Family Rule #3: Never, ever follow them.
Most people only believe what they can see. Gifted with the ability to see the deep, dark fae of Shadowland, Catherine Rowan Mary O’Connell would prefer not to. When the fae abduct her friend Maya, Cate breaks the sacred O’Connell Family Rules and sets a trap for the handsome fae who haunts her every step.
Rook, High Court Advisor to the Shadow King, has been following Cate since she was sixteen. When Cate reveals herself as one of the fabled “Seers”, Rook is stunned—she is one of the few that can permanently open the gates between their worlds. If he turns her over to the Shadow King, his court will rule the human realm.
Cate knows she has precious little time to find Maya. By midnight, the glamour of Mid-Summer’s Eve will fade, leaving her trapped forever in the Shadowland, but Maya’s abductor won’t give up the woman he’s mesmerized easily.
The midnight hour is almost at hand. Cate must choose: her freedom or her destiny.
BUY LINKS:
Excerpt
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Website: www.theresameyers.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Theresa_Meyers
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheresaMeyersAuthor
Two lucky commenters will win a book…one copy of THE HUNTER and one copy of SHADOWLANDER are up for grabs!
Carly Phillips would like to take 100% credit for all her stories but the truth is, Carly’s strength is writing family, emotion, funky elderly people and animals. She couldn’t plot her way out of a paper bag, which is why she smartly found her plotmonkey pals early on in her writing career. Thanks to their support, Carly is now a NYT Bestselling author of 23 plus novels. Because writing doesn’t keep her busy enough, Carly is also a wife, a mother of one preteen and one teenage daughter, the primary care giver of her soft coated Wheaten terrier and an expert carpool mom.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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Hello Theresa, I agree with you on minimizing stress for the holidays. Thanksgiving to Christmas passes so quickly. We anticipate, and need to enjoy each day. Your books look great!
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Welcome to the jungle, Theresa!
I do all the shopping for my dad as well as mine, so I start early to help ease the stress of the holidays. In fact, other than getting a waffle iron for my sister and a shirt for my brother, all I have left to do is wrap all the gifts. Both of those gifts will be bought and wrapped this weekend.
Your books sound great! Off to do a little shopping for my kindle.
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Great advice… also — just simplify your gifting… Everyone doesn’t need 20 gifts from you..
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Cate – see this is so true! What people really want is to be thought of (ok unless you are a seven year old who really is more concerned about the presents). We’ve been kind of conditioned to think that it’s about giving gifts, rather than focusing on the things that matter, the people that matter, in our lives.
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I came up with this list after consistently feeling like this, two weeks before the holidays:
Stress takes the fun out of what should be a really joyous time for so many people. Thanks for stopping by today!
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Liza – sounds like you’ve got it all ready to go!
Speaking of waffle irons….have you guys ever seen this commercial about gift giving. The phrase “dual bag” has become a part of the dictionary at our house. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twivg7GkYts
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No worries. I’ll have to watch the video once I get home tonight. Speakers on work computer are iffy. My sister does actually want a waffle iron…I just hope I pick up the right one.
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Welcome to the jungle, Theresa!
I try to get all of the shopping done asap! Preferably, before Halloween, but I am okay if it is Thanksgiving…my in laws get annoyed because I am asking for lists in October…they don’t get that I have two large families to buy for! I love Christmas too much to waste it at the mall!
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I think that’s brilliant. Then you are all done shopping by Black Friday, I bet!
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Carly, I hope your Dad gets well soon. Have a safe trip!
Theresa, nice to meet you and I will have to check out your books!
Have a great week!
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Thanks for stopping by and the warm welcome to the jungle!
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Hi, Theresa! I grabbed SHADOWLANDER for my Kindle Fire. I can’t resist a good fae tale! I love the premise of THE HUNTER, too. I’m getting up my nerve to get back into reading steampunk and I like the idea of the old west for setting.
Carly, I’m sorry about your dad! I hope he gets well soon and that you have a great time with Julie!
I agree with every one of your suggestions, Theresa! There’s some great advice there. I’ve managed to get everything simplified but the shopping. If I could figure out how to avoid it, I’d be in great shape!
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Hi Silver,
I would love to know how you like you Kindle Fire. I’m seriously considering buying one sometime next year. The price is good for me. It wouldn’t be until sometime next year. I need something to travel along with me on trips & my pet sitting stints.
Donna M
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Hi, Donna. I loved my Kindle2 and with the announcement of the new models, was thinking to upgrade to the Kindle Touch. I was gifted the Fire as an early Christmas present. Honestly? For me, the Touch would probably have been the better choice. I love the e-ink screens for reading and that’s basically what I use it for. I’m not a video game player and I do my web surfing either from my desktop or my Mac Air. I don’t use my iPhone to full capacity, LOL, so why folks would think I would use the Fire to capacity is a bit of a giggle. For someone who wants to stay connected while reading, who wants a “tablet”, the Fire is amazing! But for someone like me, where technology is more often a struggle, I would have been just as happy with the Touch. That said, the color screen on the Fire is amazing! And, if needed, I can use it to get on line. The bad thing about the Fire is the way it eats battery charge! I’m used to being able to read for several days without recharging the Kindle2. I have to charge the Fire every night.
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Can you turn off the wi-fi to save the battery?
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Thanks Silver. I appreciate your input.
Have a great weekend.
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Thanks for sharing your list with us… Your books sound like ones I would enjoy… Happy Holidays!
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Great post. I read 2 of your vampire novels eariler this year and loved them. Looking forward to reading these soon too.
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Thanks, Donna! I appreciate you reading my work!
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Your list if full of good suggestions. Since I am now retired with a limited budget I don’t get to crazy over the holidays. My biggest joy is spending time with family & friends. Before my girls were adults with their own families I enjoyed all the craziness of that short time between Thanksgiving & Christmas. That was all some time ago. It seems to me that people tend to take on too much now, all year not just at Christmas. Christmas is not really about how extravagant you can be or how excessive your decorating is, it is about the quality of time you spend with people that really mean something to you. There is so much commercialism now, so much emphasis on Black Friday. Too many people fall for the advertising we are fed instead of taking a step back to decide what is important to them & their family.
Everyone enjoy the day. Happy December 1.
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Anybody else notice that this year they didn’t even get Halloween stuff moved off the floor of the stores before the holidays stuff came rolling out? I agree, the commercializing of the holidays has kind of overtaken so much else that’s wonderful about this season.
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Carly,
I hope your father will be okay. I’m sorry to hear he is in the hospital.
Have fun with Julie.
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I’ve been waiting for payday on both of your books. I especially love the cover of The Hunter.
We’ve already made a few changes to destress the holidays a bit. We will most likely see my family the weekend after the new year– if we do it before it will be very hard to squeeze in and for various reasons it’s always stressful anyways–it would be a bad combo to be rushed AND stressed. LOL
I think it’s easy to plan too much, and end up not having fun at all, which is not a good thing.
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Thanks so much, Barbara! I think you’re right. Too much + high stress =
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Happy December…..
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Thanks for visiting today. I appreciated the tips and learning more about your books.
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Thanks for the timely post. As I get older, I find it is easier to cut back on some of the stress causing aspects of the holidays. I pick 2 or 3 traditions that are most important to me, and make sure those are accomplished. Anything else I get done is icing on the cake. If I don’t get anything else accomplished, I don’t feel guilty.
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I’m usually done my shopping quite early on before the crowds start; even the wrapping is done. This year however I’m having trouble with it and a little extra help even from an elf would be welcome.
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Not much stress over the holidays at our house. We don’t exchange gifts.
These books sound great!
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I really appreciate how welcoming you’ve all been to the jungle today! Thanks!
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I’ve had The Hunter on my wish list and the more I hear about Shadowlander, the more interested I am in reading it too. I’ll have to check out that Kindle edition, sounds like a great price.
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Thanks!
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Hello Theresa!
Great suggestions. I’ve made some adjustments to my holiday planning since I’ve retired. My shopping was done before Thanksgiving, I finished my Christmas cards last weekend and I have my packages ready to go to the military. Still working on the baking, though, but enjoying it. I eliminated most of the decorating this year because no one was available to help – and I didn’t want the stress of trying to do it myself.
You are a new to me author – your books sound interesting!
Carly, I’ll keep your father in my thoughts and prayers.
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I try not to stress during this time of year. I go out with the knowledge that stores are going to be crowded, lines will be long and some people will probably be grumpy. I can go with the flow and arrive back at home still in a good mood.
Sending good thoughts for Carlys dad too !
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My theme this year is minimize! Santa is bringing one gift for the whole family and I am only giving a couple of things to each kid. I am so much more relaxed this year.
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Shadowlander sounds really good. I can’t wait to read it.
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Appreciate it!
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Hi Theresa Meyers, it is a pleasure to meet you. I love to hear about new authors and new books and yours sound fabulous. I hope we will be hearing more from you in the future.
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Everyone in the jungle has been so fantastic today! Thanks for your comment!
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I loved your list. Thanks for the tips. Congratulations on the new release.
Question for you, what’s been easier for you, being a publicist or an author and why?
Sorry for the thought provoking question but I’m just being nosy so forgive me.
Marika
maw1725@gmail.com
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I really don’t know that either is “easier”. They are just different and both a lot of work. There’s a lot of promotion know-how that goes into being an author and there’s a lot of writing know-how that goes into being a publicist. In many ways each is tied to the other, especially for me, since I’ve really been doing both since college.
The big difference now that we didn’t have to deal with ten years ago is social media and ebooks. That’s radically changed how publicists and authors interact with the public. The hardest part about being a publicist is that you always have to be on call. There is no down time. You’ve got to be ready to deal with an opportunity or a crisis the moment it hits. As a writer, I use those same skills when I’m in the middle of writing one book and edits come in for not one, but two other books and I’m working on promotion for a different two books that have released the same month. It’s all a juggling act!
I’m really having fun writing as a career shift now, but I started writing my first novel at 17, so it’s been a long haul to get here!
I know, long answer to a short question…but that’s what you get for being nosy! LOL.
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I would love to have an elf for help. Where do I pick one up? LOL Can’t wait to read The Hunter, it sounds amazing!!!
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I kind of consider anyone shorter than me and under the age of 15 an elf this time of year….
(I can say that only because I’m not even 5′ 3″)
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Great to “meet” you, Theresa! Congrats on your releases–you’re a new-to-me author, so thanks for adding to my TBR!
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Thanks for letting me play in your TBR pile! :fallleaf:
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Hi Theresa! Your books sound great! Hope to read them soon! Great advice for the holidays.
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Shadowlander sounds like a good read…
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Carly, I hope your dad will be okay. Theresa, Shadowlander sounds like a great read. It’s going to the top of my TBR.