I have never been one to make a resolution for New Year’s. Mainly because the only one I’ve ever kept is to never make another one… 
But I actually do a lot of thinking at the start of each year. Not necessarily of things I intend to accomplish, just of the ways in which I can make my life a little better. Bruce is the same way, so it made sense that he’d send me a link to this article . It’s all about making the most of the new year, with five tips on simple ways to improve your daily life.
It’s funny how simple they are to say, but how difficult they can be to do. The first suggestion, to just “let go” of everything negative about the past–of your fears, your worries, your resentments, your failures–and embrace this new blank slate as a chance to begin again, is very appealing.
I tend to be a worrier, I tend to dwell on mistakes and wonder how I made them and what I could have done differently. But lately (not just this year) I have made myself try to let those things go. Things happen for any number of reasons. The fact that I’m not a huge success doesn’t mean I’m not a good writer. The disappointments I might have in my career mean absolutely nothing when reflected against the magnificent successes of my personal life.
I am a blessed woman in my husband and my family. I was amazed over the holiday season at how content and happy I was. Mainly because I didn’t stress. After our trip to NYC, we had a very small, quiet Christmas at home, just Bruce, me and the girls. No big parties, no company, no stress over making the perfect meal or finding the just-right gift. We laughed a lot and joked and played games (Saturday night, 5 hours of games with the 4 people I love most, was one of the happiest evenings I can recall in a very long time!) I wasn’t focused on next week or next month or next summer or the next book, I just found myself looking around at these wonderful people, thinking how marvelously happy I felt at that very moment.
Honestly, I was almost giddy with it.
There are other pieces of advice–about gaining focus, thinking about what really matters, clearing away distractions–like the Internet! That was another great thing about the holidays, making a concerted effort to keep the computers put AWAY as much as possible and just disconnect from all that distracting techno-babble.
If you have a chance, check it out. The advice is simple, but meaningful.
And I’d love to hear any more wisdom you might have to offer on how you’ve found balance in your life–what makes you happy and how you make your world better.
PS: My new Blaze PLAY WITH ME is available NOW at eHarlequin, (February everywhere else.)
This is a STEAMY one. 4.5 stars from Romantic Times: “There’s humor, adventure and lots and lots of sex. Kelly is a top writer, and this is another excellent book.”
Click below to read an excerpt, and you can click to read “inside the book” for the entire prologue and first chapter.
Play with Me
Harlequin has also released this book as part of a very special three-books-in-one “Trade” paperback with two other February Blazes by Stephanie Bond and Kate Hoffman. Check it out!
The Blaze Collection
Leslie Kelly used to say she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up, but then she discovered Nancy Drew books. Being a flashlight-under-the-covers-nose-in-book reader throughout her childhood, she couldn’t think of anything else she’d rather do as an adult than continue to lose herself in fictional stories. Her real life marriage of 20 years to the man of her dreams is a constant reinforcement that happily-ever-afters really can happen…and that they’re worth writing about. Living in Maryland, Leslie spends her non-writing time laughing a lot with the above-mentioned romance hero and their three daughters. Though an author of more than thirty sexy, contemporary comedies, she has recently branched out to write dark romantic suspense under the pseudonym Leslie Parrish.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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Definitely less time on the internet, and more reading time (especially when I just went and bought 11 more books yesterday!)
Less complaining. I know we all love to rant and talk about our frustrations, but I notice that too much of that can have a negative effect instead of a positive one. Instead of feeling like I’ve let things off my chest, I feel cranky and depressed because I’ve just spent 15 minutes griping about something when I could have just let it go and talked about something fun, joked around.
Less concern with material things. At the end of the day, the fancy stuff is not what makes me happy. I shouldn’t care to impress people with what I can buy. I don’t want the credit card bill. I want to be able to afford nice things but if I can’t, it’s not the end of the world. As long as I can afford my books (which I often times re-read) then I’m good. Going into debt is not my idea of a good time.
I might have to use this on my blog. Great ideas Leslie!
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Leslie…I am already two steps ahead of you…I ordered the book the day it became available (where is the Blaze anthology available???).
I know about all of the things that you mentioned. For me, my big goal is to let go of Mommy Guilt. I have major guilt that I am not doing enough, I should be doing more, should be spending more time with my boys, etc. I suppose I could, but I do a lot right now. I need to focus a little on me, without the guilt. I am hoping to go on a big trip this year and hoping that I don’t feel ‘too’ guilty.
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The big thing I am letting go- finally? Realizing that 2 out of my 4 step-children are just not going to get over the fact that daddy remarried after mommy died. Realize,please, that they are my age. They didn’t ask daddy if it was ok for them to marry who they did, he didn’t need to ask theirs. Get over it already.
I am so glad the holidays are over. It’s so nice to sit here at night with hubby and the zoo and just listen to the quiet. the only shopping I have done is for the kid in CA and my neighbor. Can’t even work up the desire to go shoe shopping. (OK so there might be something wrong with me here)
I am trying not to spend as much time online in the morning (today is an exception) and instead do it at night when I am watching TV. Get more done-projects, reading, cleaning (ick).
I don’t make resolutions- I set goals. the only resolution I have ever made and kept was I quit smoking in 1984. That and not making them, kinda like Lent. I gave up giving up.
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This year, I’m focusing on living more “in the moment” and trying not to anticipate what’s coming down the road, or what is behind me. Stuff in the past just clogs the creative juices so I’m trying to “let it go”. On, and not borrowing someone else’s trouble–even the DH’s. When people complain about…whatever–job, family, circumstances…I remind myself that these are not my burdens to carry. I have enough of my own to deal with.
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Great blog today, Leslie. I’m so glad you had a peaceful and joy filled Christmas. Mine was hectic and the best things about Christmas this year was when it was over. And I’m no Scrooge. I love Christmas. But not this year. We had a neighborhood Christmas party that we haven’t had in a long time. It was fun but stressful. Then my mom got sick a couple of days before Christmas so I was taking care of her and my M-I-L was here… Way too much stress, not enough Peace on Earth.
I read the article. The advice is so simple and basic. It was nice to read an article in which the reader isn’t required to make out a chart first with different colored highlighters…
Thanks again for the blog,
Cher
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Glad to hear everyone’s enjoying it. Such simple, intuitive things, but they make such sense and can be so helpful.
Katie, thanks so much for ordering Play With Me! That book is VERY sexy, but it’s also fun, and, IMO, poignant. I tapped into some of my own feelings about the loss of my Mom when writing about the hero’s reaction to his father’s tragic death. So for the sexiest, flirtiest book I’ve done in a long time, it is also, to me, pretty emotional.
As for The Blaze Collection, I know it’s available at eHarlequin and it’s on Amazon, but I don’t know which stores it’s going to show up in. The first time I was told about it, I heard it was going to be in the “big box” stores like Costco, Sam’s Club, etc., but I don’t know about anyplace else. It really is a nice collection!
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Thanks, Leslie…I’ll check it out at Eharlequin….I already have a cart full for Friday…LOL…what’s one more book?
I have realized that I have turned into my grandma….sitting home reading romance…..not a bad thing at all….one of the things I loved about her.
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I like this guy. I don’t have any set resolutions, but there are some changes I am working on making. I just hope I can stay focused enough to stay on track.
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I just checked the Barnes and Noble web site and the Borders web site and it’s available at both of those.
Cher
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Hi Leslie,
I haven’t checked out the article yet but it sounds like it gives some very solid advice.
To all that visit here, I have to encourage each of you to try the Leslie Parrish books. They are on the edge of your seat suspense, well written with good characters solving nasty crimes. I was a bit hesitant about reading them as it sounded like it would be hard reading about the horrific crimes, it wasn’t. I should have known that Leslie would do it well. I recently sent her an email saying how much I loved the books and she was kind enough to send me a response. Thanks Leslie for taking time out of your busy day.
Your Christmas sounds wonderful. Since I am much older than many here I can appreciate the simpler things in life. I no longer feel the need to impress anyone, if I ever did, but if I do something I want to do it well. My children are grown with their own families which means I only need to be concerned about me, my health and just enjoying life. There is a lot of pressure on women these days to “do it all” but how realistic is that? My own humble opinion is that you need to do what works for you and your family. Thanks again Plotmonkeys for giving us a chance to voice our opinions.
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Balance?
What’s that? If I ever find it, I’ll let you know.
Congrats on the Blazes! That’s awesome you’re in the special package, too. Glad the new year is starting off with a bang for you, Leslie!
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Already ordered you new Blaze and hope it gets her soon. Glad you had such a fun and peaceful Christmas…maybe I’ll come to your house next year, as mine was anything but peaceful.
I’m trying to take more time for me this year. Being single you would think that would be easy. However, my family(grandmother, sister and her family, etc) seem to expect me to come to their homes for ever minor event. I plan on making myself the priority this year and not feeling guilty for doing so. I would love to fly up to Chicago for a long weekend and go to some plays, the Art Institute, and just hang out(once the snow is long gone). Already have plans to take off during RWA in July too.
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I have not made any New Year resolutions for atleast four years. I stopped when I read an article about improving the self. The only thing that I remember about the article and I use everyday is a statement that said “live everyday the best you can.” I have done that since. I do not give myself a hard time anymore if the day I had was poor b/c really that was the best I could do on that particular day. My stress level is a whole lot lower and my focus is on the things that matter not things that I have no control over.
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