In Saturday’s post, I asked blog readers to start thinking about what they wanted to accomplish in 2010…either as writers or as readers. I noticed a few things about the posted goals that I thought required a little more discussion.
Setting goals for the New Year is often an invitation to failure, IMO, because of how we phrase our stated goals. We often want things we can’t have–or at the very least, can’t control whether or not we have it.
For instance, a few writers posted that their goal was a publishing contract. Well, that’s not really up to them, is it? It’s up to the editor, the publisher, the vagaries of the marketplace and the elusive Lady Luck. Whether or not they achieve that goal has nothing to do with them–except for the fact that they have written a book and submitted it. That’s all they control…so that’s all that should be in their goal. I will write a novel. I will submit my novel for publication. I will start on a new project and submit this project to ten agents. See? All things that can be controlled by the person who is making that new year’s resolution.
EDITED TO ADD: If you don’t believe me, read this post by the brilliant J.A.Konrath. Maybe you’ll believe him. :-)
I learned this piece of advice years ago, before I was published, and it helped me deal with rejection because if I failed to get a contract, it was no longer my failure to achieve my goal. My goal to write and submit had been achieved. Score! I can’t deny that being published wasn’t my ultimate dream, but I realized a long time ago that I couldn’t control that part of the business and tying my hopes and aspirations to it completely would mean nothing but disappointment if it didn’t happen. I would still be disappointed, but I was prepared for the possibility. My goals and aspirations would not be destroyed by a rejection–just a little damaged.
The same goes, let’s say, for weight loss. It’s easy to say, “I’m going to lose 20 pounds.” But what if your body isn’t ready to give up those 20 pounds just yet? What if you have problems with medications or metabolism that keep those 20 pounds on you no matter what you do? Well, then you fail. So what if instead you say, “I’m going to work out for an hour five times a week?” or “I’m going to stop buying processed foods” or “I’m going to stop eating fast food more than once a week.” See? These are all things you can control and therefore, if you lose weight as a result, that’s fabulous, but if you don’t, you’ve still made steps toward a healthier lifestyle.
For many years, I eschewed new year’s resolutions, and in a way, I still do. I think goals should be set whenever you need to and not at just one time of year. I stop and reassess my personal goals about every six months…usually on a semester schedule, probably because of my many years as a teacher. Oftentimes, my goals are set by the book I’m writing. Sometimes by the month. I have learned to be flexible and give myself many chances to succeed. I don’t like failure. I like success a whole lot better!
So here are my goals for the coming year, which will be re-evaluated in a few months to see if they are working:
1) To write 1000 words a day, every weekday
2) To exercise one hour a day, every weekday
3) To go on one “field trip” with my daughter every month
4) To read a book every three weeks
5) To redecorate my daughter’s room by March
6) To change the air filters on my air conditioner every month (I’ve already missed December…which is why this is a goal.)
Some things are big, some are little…and I’m sure I’ll come up with new ones as the year progresses. What about you? What can YOU control…what goals can you ACHIEVE?
Remember…set yourself up for success!!!
By all reports, Julie Leto was a sweet child once, somewhat shy, preferring to play quietly in her room making up stories. However, being raised with three brothers in a loud, primarily Italian household did have its influences and Julie discovered her inner tough girl. That’s probably why most of her heroines kick serious butt. Writing sassy heroines has worked out, as she’s sold over forty books to four publishers featuring strong, confident women. Julie lives in Florida with her daughter, a spoiled dachshund, a haughty lynx-point Siamese and a wide range of relatives all within driving distance.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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I’m not big on resolutions, but one thing I remember talking to with another blogger is about thanking authors more for books we really loved. You always hear when someone doesn’t like a book (and look at what a disaster that can be!) but I want to let authors know that their books have inspired me, thrilled me, kept me entertained. So I guess overall, I one of my “goals” is to be more appreciative in the new year.
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Stacy~, I like that idea. I just wrote an email to an author whose work I admire greatly (Tessa Dare, in case anyone is interested…I just finished A LADY OF PERSUASION and it ROCKED) and I know she appreciated because I do. Best of all, we were able to discuss the book, which was fantastic.
I got a letter today from a wonderful woman who’d just read DIRTY LITTLE LIES. She broke the book down and discussed it from an emotional perspective and I really appreciated her insight. It was a great letter and it meant a lot to me!
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So more people are discovering our Marisela…My fingers are still crossed Jules. I love writing authors and telling them what I think about their books. One of the best treats as a reader is actually having the opportunity to express how I feel to an author and discuss the book with him or her.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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Great points, Julie! I’ve fallen down on way too many important things lately and I am spread way too thin! So here are mine, things I want to do in the New Year:
1. (AFTER) I finish THIS book: write 1,250 words a day at least 5 days a week which equals (25 pages a week)
2. (BEFORE) I finish THIS book: write 1,750 words a day every day which equals about 50 pages a week
3. Cook dinner for my family at least 3 days a week (Sunday being one)
4. Spend individual time with BOTH my girls at least one day a week
5. Read one book a month (thank you Julie!)
6. Knit a few minutes each day for me! (I started with the girls this past week and love it!)
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Knit? KNIT??? This I have to see!
Reading great books always fires me up! Now let’s see if we can actually end up reading the same one at least once! (FYI, Carly and I always try to read the same book at the same time, but something always gets in the way!)
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I found this interesting Blog via Twitter – and it’s a cool take on how to accomplish things without setting “Goals” but instead picking words and following a path to get there: Chris Brogan’s Blog
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Carly, thanks for sharing this link. I think that Brogan’s “formula” can work for all manner of goalsetting. Have a wonderful day!
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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I did the fast food thing last year. I don’t stop more than once a week (coffee from Dunkin Donuts not included). I actually have gotten it down to once or twice a month which is great!
this year my goal is to exercise more, not setting up a schedule I know I won’t keep, but to do exercise. Then I can adjust the schedule.
I am not big on resolutions, just goals. And I don’t have to start them on Jan 1 either.
The only resoulution I ever kept was the one I made on Jan 1 1984- I quit smoking. And it’s still hard 25 years later.
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ev, that’s amazing! 25 years smoke-free. Good on ya!!!
You know, stopping the fast food was actually one of the easiest part of changing my lifestyle and I thought it would be harder. But once you break the habit (it took me months to get out of the mindset that “going out” meant “getting food”) it’s great!
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I set goals every year and post them in my kitchen. I did an ok job this year, but fell down in a few areas. Here are some of my goals for the new year.
1. To reach my goal weight by Dec. 31, 2010
2. To exercise at least 4 days a week
3. To read at least 1 book a week
4. Update my blog more often
I will have a longer list when I print everything out at home, but these are ones I know I can control.
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Excellent, Liza!!! I know you can do it!
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I recently started blogging. My goal is to write and post at least 4 times a week. Also, I am doing a major cleaning/organizing project at the moment and my goal is to keep it up. Finally, to cook at least 3 times a week for my family.
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Cooking at home is such a gift to the family. I hope they’ll appreciate it. I know I love cooking, but if only I had someone to clean up after me!
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1.To read more (yes, I need lots of Katie time to get through my TBR pile)
2.To blog more (yes, my boys say/do the funniest things and I need to write it down and share)
3.To not feel guilty when I do take major Katie time (lots of guilt from this mom)
4.Continue my weight loss program (watching foods….exercising, etc…I feel better and have more energy)
5.To stay organized…this one may be a challenge because my boys put stuff in my piles….
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I do realize my goals are not measureable (and to the point).
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After you do it awhile, you’ll be able to find a way to measure, I think!
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Hey everybody, it is good to see Carly and Jules about.
Jules, I don’t really do New Year’s Resolutions, either, but I do like the idea of setting goals….Love the idea of changing them every couple of months… I don’t have a major list, but I can start with a few things…
a) write a little bit each day…can’t put a number on it because then I get all crazy
b) exercise more…playing more basketball is definitely going to be added, but I also want to get back into martial arts…
c) read more…can’t not do that.
d) go out more
e) laugh more
Thanks for sharing your list…
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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Paula, those are great! Basketball seems like a great way to exercise for those with the ability! I always loved shooting hoops with my brothers…never actually played the sport (um, I’m vertically challenged!) but did shoot a lot of baskets!
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2010 I have decided to do the following:
1. Take better care on myself.
2. Less stress.
3. To stop and smell the roses, more than once.
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Ah, to stop and smell the roses. THat’s a good one!
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Julie, you have a point, in my opinion. So, I am going to put it to practice.
I have taken the easy way out of too many things this past year. I took time out a couple of days ago and just meditated on what I REALLY need and want with my writing and even my home life. What I came up with was really simple – it is not going to be handed to me on a silver platter no matter how much I want it to.
Although we are going through major crisis here financially, I CAN still make and keep my goals with my writing. I do not NEED to pawn off my laziness to the problems surrounding me. I Do have to work towards my goals even when it is hard to continue at times.
The goals I have this year are simple.
1) I already have my plot ready for my current WIP, so I give myself until March to write the book.
2) Submit above project accordingly and start my new project.
3) Always have a project on my desk, there is no room for laziness if I want success.
4) Excersise three times a week and work my way up to five times a week by June.
5) Read more craft books on writing
6) Once a week take an hour for me to do anything I enjoy
7) Here I am going to adopt Julies goal – once a month take my girls for a day out
I will reevaluate my goals and add to them when I feel the need throughout the year. I feel better just thinking about what I have in store for myself in the coming year.
Happy New Year
~Talina :newyear:
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Talina, it’s FABULOUS that you’ve put into writing your very specific goals. I know you can do it!!!
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Okay, you’re absolutely right about getting a contract can’t be a goal. Because I truly can’t control whether any of my books get sold or not.
So here’s a revised list of Cher’s goals:
1. Write at least 3 pages every day
2. Submit my single title about the wedding planner and mortician to Tracy Farrell who has requested it.
3. Stop sweating the small stuff and be more joyful
4. Practice more yoga
5. In accordance with the theme of the New Year ball drop in Times Square: Let there be courage
J.A. Konrath’s blog was awesome!
Cher :newyear:
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Excellent goals, Cher. Set yourself up for success, I always say!
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Good idea continuing on a discussion about “resolutions”. Goals instead of resolutions seems to make a lot of sense. If what your goals/resolutions are stress you then it seems you are trying to stretch to far, be realistic in what you want to accomplish.
As a retired person I don’t have a lot of goals! When you become a retiree you need to enjoy the fact that you have earned the right to kick back, enjoy life. All that said, I don’t think much has changed from what I stated the other day. 2010 is going to bring me several milestones in my life, you’ll be hearing about them when I post here.
I wish everyone good luck with their goals.
:newyear:
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Donna, you’ve earned your right to kick back. Can’t wait to hear about the milestones!
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I found another interesting site in regard to goals from Cindi Myers newsletter. Here’s the URL in case anyone is interested. There are templates that you can download.
http://www.liftinternational.com
Cher
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I love Cindi’s newsletter! Heck, I love Cindi. She’s awesome.
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Heh, I managed to miss last Saturday’s blog. Oops. In the meantime, my goals for at least the first half of the year are:
1. Completing the third book in my FAERIE trilogy and getting it off to Ms. Editor. I’m currently about 10K words into it.
2. Revise my paranormal MS so it’s ready to query with agents.
3. Market the heck out of FAERIE FATE when it comes out in April.
4. Realize that this is all mostly subject to change if a) Real Life(tm) intervenes or b) TOR takes the MS they currently have on submission and I’m busy revising it for publication.
Happy New Year, everyone! :newyear:
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Silver, you have a lot ahead of you…especially the marketing. Oy!
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I haven’t finished my current goal-setting review, which I started a few days ago, so I don’t have much to add in the way of what my current goals/resolutions are.
I try to use the SMART principles when setting my goals, however one or two of my goals are difficult to put a timeframe on – so my solution is to set the goal and then set out the steps that I need to take to get to where I want to be. Often I can put a start time on step 1, but step 1 needs to be being done consistently in order for step 2 to come into the mix and so on. This helps me to avoid feeling like I’ve failed if the main goal takes longer than I would like it to (although it doesn’t take away the frustration that the extra time causes).
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That sounds like a great solution!
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Goal setting is very important specially if you want to plan long term.,`.