A close friend once gave me this quote: “You’re only as happy as your most unhappy child.” If you are a parent, does this resonate with you the way it did with me? If one of my girls is unhappy, I’m unhappy. If she’s stressed, I’m stressed. If she’s happy, I’m happy. Yep. There’s a theme there. So these days, when I have a senior in high school, we are living in a constant state of stress and anxiety. Why, you ask? It’s the holidays! Vacation’s coming! What could possibly stress a child out?
COLLEGE APPLICATIONS!
Let’s agree on one thing: I am not old enough to have a child old enough for college. Don’t ask me how it happened. She just aged quickly! And now we are stalking the mailman. He doesn’t come in my area until close to 4 PM but it’s such a big neighborhood he starts here around 1 PM. So my daughter begs me to drive around the circle, stop the mailman, ask him to dig through his mail – all to see if there’s a big fat envelope with an acceptance … or the dreaded smaller envelope with an “I’m sorry.”
She has three schools she’d be happy at (she thinks). We’ve heard from one school and so far so good. She got in and received an academic scholarship. I’m so proud! She has one more school to hear from that she liked. A handful that she applied to in case she didn’t get into her three top choices. And the one main EARLY DECISION SCHOOL. For those of you who don’t know, this means the school she applied to that if she gets in, SHE MUST GO and withdraw all other applications. This is her dream school. And we are living the nightmare of waiting to hear “as of December 15th” – which loosely translates as – you could hear before the 15th (she didn’t); you could hear ON the 15th (she didn’t); they could postmark ON the 15th (which I believe they did) – which THEN translates into – check your mail on the 16th; 17th; 18th … and so on, and so on …. until that envelope (whatever size it may be) is in the mailbox.
Now I am writing this on December 16th (Wednesday). If we hear today, I will update this blog for tomorrow. If we don’t, the nightmare goes on …. I tell her “no news is good news” and she gets mad at me. I tell her “stop being unhappy, you haven’t NOT gotten in yet” and she gets mad at me. She says “You have no idea how I feel!” Ummm … yes I do! I not only applied to the same said school, I ONLY wanted to go to that school (didn’t have backups I liked), I didn’t get in Early Decision, I was DEFERRED and had to wait until April 15th to start the process of mailbox checking all over again … and eventually, yes I DID get in. But no, I can’t possibly know how she feels. 
“You’re only as happy as your most unhappy child.”
Yep. Makes sense to me!
Carly Phillips would like to take 100% credit for all her stories but the truth is, Carly’s strength is writing family, emotion, funky elderly people and animals. She couldn’t plot her way out of a paper bag, which is why she smartly found her plotmonkey pals early on in her writing career. Thanks to their support, Carly is now a NYT Bestselling author of 23 plus novels. Because writing doesn’t keep her busy enough, Carly is also a wife, a mother of one preteen and one teenage daughter, the primary care giver of her soft coated Wheaten terrier and an expert carpool mom.
ANOTHER WILD WEDDING NIGHT
Hard to Hold
Love Me If You Dare
Wild For Him
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I am so there with you Carly.
I have two daughters and like you say if they aren’t happy of if they are stressed I am in major meltdown mode.
Thank goodness my youngest finished the college application phase this year and is in a school she is happy with.
Good luck , I am sure everything will be fine:bigtree:
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My son is a senior this year and waiting until the last minute on everything. He applied to Yale – Early action and did not get accepted – we were not surprised but we wanted to give it a shot. So now we are looking at 2 in-state schools and 2 out-of-state schools. How to I get him to follow through on his side of things without threatening him – is there a way to get him to want to move forward with stuff like teacher recommendations and making that final decision of where to apply?
Needs help in Tucson!
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Not having kids, I don’t quite get that feeling, but I can certainly understand it. I think of my mom and how much she took to heart the hurts of all of us. So I see how that’s a very real thing.
Good luck with the college apps. I know everything will work out.
:santabag:
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You’re right Carly you aren’t old enough. Neither am I yet I’ve went through it twice, with sons though so the emotions weren’t as high. The happy dance was nice though when they got in the schools they wanted.
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I have 3 boys, the oldest of which is a senior also. Yet, my college process has been stress free. He already chose his college, was accepted, already has a deposit on his apartment….now I just need August to roll around and kiss him goodbye!
Let the spare room decorating begin!
Tami
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Tami- I’m right there with you on the redecorating! Except…they come back.
Carly- Yeah it’s a pain. Mine is in the college she wanted and does nothing but bitch. You can’t win. Honestly.
I hope she hears good news though!!
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I keep hearing about this “they come back” thing. I hope he doesn’t mind the pull out couch in the office.
Tami
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So true, Carly. If our daughter is happy, I’m happy. And I always want her to be happy. But she is basically always happy. She’s a great kid. If she isn’t her usual smiley, bubbly self we definitely know something is wrong.
Good luck with the college acceptance
Have a wonderful day everyone,
Cher :reindeer:
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Hope y’all find out today about her favorite school. I still remember waiting for my favorite school and it seemed like it took forever.
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Can I just say … until mail comes I AM USELESS today!
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Carly…good luck…I remember those days (yes, even though it was a LONG time ago). I never did early decision, but I did ‘rolling admission’ for my favorite school (they didn’t have early decision)….it will work out. I love it that she makes you stalk the mail man. That’s pretty cute.
It’s true, though, you are only as happy as your unhappiest child. Trust me, when one of my boys is grumpy, there ain’t no one happy in this house!
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Makes 100% perfect sense to me, too!
We’re about to start that whole go round again, but this time with grad schools. Considering oldest is applying Ivy league this time, I think the anxiety is going to be double–will she get in? And how in the name of God will we pay for it? lolol!
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Hi Leslie,
That number “thing” is annoying!!
The other day you were asking about Broadway shows playing that you might want to see. I just saw a segment from Memphis on The View. You might want to check into that. It looks pretty impressive.
:SmallSanta: :walksnowman:
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Hey Les, just think of the Ivies as a regular school. Trust me, the stress level won’t hit the roof as much as the first go round. I would like to plug Brown University, my alma mater…just saying…LOL!!! One of the worst part of applying to this group is that we sometimes make it harder on ourselves by stressing out. Your daughter will be fine, and she must be confident enough in herself to want to apply to the Ivies AND a lot of them, nowadays, give ALOT of grants as scholarship money, especially if a family can’t afford the tuition. That’s how I did it!
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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Grrrr…what the HECK is up with us not being able to use the number 1 with any other numbers anymore????
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lol you guys are scaring me with the whole college app process!!
Admittedly I went about doing mine in a … not brilliant way. Won’t say more because people would likely get annoyed :X
However, professional school apps were no fun. Got my come comeuppance then. :\
I’ve got my fingers crossed for your daughter, Carly!
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Ok, Carly I’m scared. I have four KIDS!! What do I do!!!!!
Time is FLYING and I know I can’t homeschool them forever. Not that I haven’t considered it. It’s just not acceptable to kidnap your own kids…so I’ve been told. 
I’ll keep you posted on how that turns out?!?
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your sweet girl. I just know all the ladies here are cheering for her (and mom)
Happy Holidays to everyone! :bigxmas:
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This was the most stressful time of our lives – college applications – went through it twice – now the oldest is a junior – they say it was supposed to get easier as they got older – thats a lie – it is harder.
Good luck and I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
By the way – I don’t think I am old enough to have a 20 year old – but it happens.
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Carly, you must have been very young, as was I, when you had children. A co-worker that was surprised at the age of my oldest when she first found out said “Oh, you must have been 2 when she was born”! I’ve just gone along with that ever since.
I think since my oldest went to college things have changed. She went to a college near home, did not apply to any other & went through it with a BS in Chemistry in 4 years. The college was not impacted at that time. Her first college graduation was in 1987! This June she graduated again with a Masters in Accounting! Some of you may remember me babbling on about it after my trip to her graduation.
:bigxmas: :ccane: :reindeer: :santabag:
I hope your daughter hears soon about her acceptance. Hang in there.
:treecut: :lights:
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Awww Carly, the good old days! I remember them very well. Waiting for responses can be so hard, and I had that one ED school that I had to get in. I was fortunate to hear on or around 15Dec. Question for you: Can’t your daughter check online to see if she got in? I know that a lot of my former students who are applying to college, (I am going to steal your phrase here with a little modification: I am not old enough to have students old enough for college. Don’t ask me how it happened. They just aged quickly!) were able to find out that way.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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Fingers crossed that Jackie receives more good news SOON! Like Today!
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Carly, I’ve got three and the oldest is still a few years away, but one niece is going through the same thing right now, and I’ve kept up with the admissions process via a host of nieces and nephews over the last couple of years. No less scary and stressful than it was nearly 30 years ago. Hugs to you and daughter.
Leslie, if we’re plugging Ivies, I’ll plug my alma mater, Cornell. I will say, however, ask questions about how the financial aid packages change over the life of the student. From personal experience and from friends, I can say that schools sometimes get less generous as the years pass. They use the money to attract freshmen of course, so expect a really nice package on the front end but don’t get surprised on the back.
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One word. DEFERRED. Bad afternoon. Good bounce back. Nice family dinner out.
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Here’s one for you
And here is another big one 
.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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Hello Carly!
My words for you are, “Been there, done that!” I survived getting all five of mine through that transition of life. That Oh, so familiar stage of life! You Are Waiting…Waiting..Waiting…
Yeah!!! I got in!!! or No, I wanting the other school!
Then, there goes your money; books, computer, clothes, furniture, etc…
I think we had the best decorated dorm room in all of NW Missouri. My twins had everything. Girls streamed by the room looking in with envy.
The off they go… it like they are taking their first baby steps all by themselves all over again. You are so afraid they are go to fall and you won’t be there to pick them up.
The worse part of it all is that you are so excited for them; all those new experiences they will have. Yet so blue for yourself when you leave them in that dorm room, knowing, that their life and yours has changed forever.
Carly, this is the first step of many that changes the rest of your life…Good luck and you will survive.
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Oh dear, I played this game with my daughter two years ago. She waited and waited and finally got the acceptance letters and scholarships letters…. and then, on the first of July – changed schools, to one she not submitted an application to! Oye! We scrambled, and they were very excited to have her. In June she had fallen for a boy from her high school and he was going to this latest school. Sheesh.
Good thing my younger one is only just starting high school. :)
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Too funny…
As for being done with everything for Christmas…..ha ha ha…you’re funny!!! I’m not even close….cards will probably go out on Saturday…..not done shopping…still have to put together my daughter’s teacher present…good grief, I haven’t even bought it yet…..there just isn’t enough time! LOL!!! :ccane: :walksnowman:
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OMG…Jackie is going to college??? shit…what am I talking about…Amber and Jackie are the same age …. ugh….I’m still trying to figure out where the time went too…. Ambers applying to all these I.T. Schools…MIT RIT ect ect….and I’m sitting here thinking….why not UMASS??? It’s free… (She scored really high on her MCAS tests , kids got a 4.20 gpa….not sure where the hell she gets the brains….anyway…so she gets to go to any mass state college tuition free…and after the first year…she could live at home and travel the 20 minutes each way…. I’m thinking she must want to get away from home and abandon me because she ain’t buying my logic…
)
Anyway….the point I was actually trying to make but got sidetracked on…. I could start a friggin bonfire and keep it going for a month on the college crap I get daily alone….and worse part???? Autumn graduates next year so these places are sending me duplicates!!!!! Let’s cry/talk again in the fall when they move away for college…not that’s gonna be the one that breaks this moose’s heart/back….