Okay, nice is probably the wrong word. Amusing, however, applies. Due to technical difficulties last night, I couldn’t post a blog the night before as we do here in the jungle. Yesterday (as some of you know…sorry!) I blogged over at the Blazeauthors site and this is what I shared…hope you all enjoy this the second time around.
Okay, so I’m in my Jazzercise class Monday and my instructor, who has been out for a week since her trip to visit her 103 year old grandmother, singles me out toward the end of class to “thank me” for contributing to an interesting experience she had in the airport on her way home. Now, as I’m not a stranger to causing people “interesting” experiences, I wonder what I could have possibly done from Florida while she was in Indiana to cause her grief, but she was laughing, so I hoped it was something good.
We’re in between sets and she proceeds to take from her bag some of the produce she’d brought home from her grandmother’s farm. Inside her bag is the largest zucchini I’ve ever seen. I’m serious. This this was HUMONGOUS. It weighted about six pounds. She had two of them.
I still didn’t know what part I played in all this, but as a Blaze author, my mind instantly went to the dirtiest place possible. (For those of you with much cleaner thought processes than mind, think vegetable=sex toy.) I chuckled, but still didn’t know how I could have contributed to anything that happened thousands of miles away from me.
Until she took out the third thing she’d had in her bag–one of my romance novels. One with a very bright red cover. One that would easily attract attention from a long distance and that had the word KISS in the title, just in case anyone wondered what those two amorous looking people on the cover were going to do.
Apparently, she was standing in the line to board her plane, completely unaware that the contents of her bag had shifted so that one of the Black Dagger Brotherhood zucchinis and my novel were both clearly visible to passers-by. She said people were staring at her, but as she’s one of those people who normally attracts attention (she says it’s because she’s bubbly and animated, but in truth, it’s because she’s frickin’ gorgeous) she paid no mind. It wasn’t until she reached her seat that she realized that the pairing of a very large, quite elongated vegetable coupled with a steamy romance novel had caused her to be the subject of some speculation.
Now, I found this so hilarious, I could hardly work on my abs during our next routine. I’m sure half the people in class had no idea why I thought this so funny (most of them are quite prudish, or at least, they pretend to be) but I make no bones about the fact that sex, to me, is infinitely hilarious. I warned my instructor that I would blog about her experience…and that it might, someday very soon, end up in a book. It’s just too good of a story not to share!
So tell me…have you ever had an embarrassing situation with a romance novel? One you might be able to laugh off now, but wasn’t so funny then? Or did you think it was funny then, too.
Edited to Add: I am now in possession of the gargantuan zucchini. I’m grilling some of it tonight, and just found a recipe for zucchini linguine, but if anyone has a zucchini bread recipe worth sharing, I’d love to have it!
By all reports, Julie Leto was a sweet child once, somewhat shy, preferring to play quietly in her room making up stories. However, being raised with three brothers in a loud, primarily Italian household did have its influences and Julie discovered her inner tough girl. That’s probably why most of her heroines kick serious butt. Writing sassy heroines has worked out, as she’s sold over forty books to four publishers featuring strong, confident women. Julie lives in Florida with her daughter, a spoiled dachshund, a haughty lynx-point Siamese and a wide range of relatives all within driving distance.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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No real embarassing situation…my husband just likes to critique the covers and titles. For some reason, on his amazon.com page, romance books pop up as “recommended’ for him….he likes to tell me I must be using his amazon.com page (I don’t!). He just jokes about the titles.
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That story is too funny!! You MUST use it in a novel.
I’ve never had an embarrassing situation with a romance novel. My husband does like to joke or he used to that the reason I ever have any problems with my computer is because of all the romance writers I hang out with on line.
Have a wonderful day,
Cher
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I can’t recall any embarrassing moment with a romance novel. I’ve gotten ridiculed about my purchases by friends and family. The only time I felt slightly embarrassed about the topic was when I went to dinner with my grandparents and all their friends. I think there was about 15 of us total and I was the only one under 75. I wont lie, there was quite a bit of drinking involved on their part to the point where my grandma informed everyone that I like to read those “sexy novels.” Then proceeded to advise me to start writing those “sexy novels” because of course those authors make a lot of money cause everybody likes to read about sex. Let me tell you…listening to an elderly conversation about sex for the rest of the night was not my idea of a pleasant visit with family…
Happy Hump Day!
<3 J
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After that story, you ended it with “Hump”?
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That was too funny. Off the bat, I can’t think of any funny stories, but I do know for one b-day my sis-i-l, got me a cover for paperbacks….hmm…
Thanks for sharing the story.
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Lots of embarrassing incidents in a 70+ year life span, but none that
include a romance novel. That’s another item for my “bucket”!! It will
be great fun!
Pat Cochran
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Sorry Julie, I can’t think of a single embarrasing moment involving a romance novel. I can think of lots of enjoyable hours spent reading romance novels thanks to you & the other Plotmonkey authors.
I don’t have a good Zucchini Bread recipe. When zucchini’s get that big they aren’t much good in my humble opinion. Let us know how the the grilled zucchini turn out.
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Julie, Paula Deen has a really good zucchini bread recipe on the food network site. It looks really similar to one my grandmother has always used, and it says it is easy.
I saw this post over on the Blaze site yesterday and still love it.
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Forgot to say, my grandmother and my mom were the ones that got me reading romances. I try to take my grandmother new romances when I go back home for visits. The last time she told me she loved the books I was bringing, but she was skipping over the “sexy stuff” now since she is 90. Totally cracked me up, since she is one of the people that first introduced me to romances.
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Ahh Julie, don’t feel alone. Seeing things like that always put my mind in the gutter!
My embarassing story with a romance novel goes like this… I used to manage a small community swimming pool in the neighborhood we used to live in. One of my jobs was to watch the entry. Many teenage girls came there to get their tan on. In turn, where there are teenage girls partially clad, there will be teenage boys to follow. 
Of course, my teenage daughters would come with me, the avid sunseekers they were. It seems like the average teenage boy, when fond of a special girl, will do anything to gain her attention; even to the point to bother that girl’s mother(me) to gain information. I had my book on the table beside me when the phone rang in the poolhouse causing me to leave my post. I returned to find two pranksters acting out a section of the book for all to see and hear! Their ad-libs were comical and my face was beet red! 
Some adults were amused while others appalled. Every other person over the age of 10 thought it to be hysterical. 
They did receive a standing ovation! 
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What a funny story! I would’ve been laughing too hard to work on anything at that point. I can’t remember any really embarrassing story about romance novels, though I did have a good discussion about them with two of the people in my volleyball league, one of which was a guy. I don’t have the zucchini bread recipe with me now, but my mom makes some fantastic zucchini bread with whole wheat flour. It’s a good thing, too, since we get a lot of huge zucchinis from our garden. I’ll try and get the recipe for you if you’re still looking for one.
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My story doesn’t involve a romance novel, but it does concern fresh produce. I’d run into the 24 hour grocery to grab some things and two single guys were in produce trying to figure out how to tell if things were ripe. There they stood each holding two round melons in their hands. Their conversation cracked me up…
“Do you thump them?”
“I thought you smelled them.”
A little old lady walked by and stopped, wagging her finger at them. “Don’t you young men know anything? You squeeze them.” She walked off, pushing her basket, without a backward glance.
Their faces were as red as the tomatoes. I, on the other hand, couldn’t breathe from trying to hold back the laughter.
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Hey Jules, I saw this over there yesterday. I still ROFLMA when I think about it.
I hope that you are having a wonderful day.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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My sister still has a huge zucchini her grocer gave her, and she takes photos of it dressed for different occasions. Nuts, I know. What can I say.
I have a small zucchini I have to cook, will probably shred it and saute with garlic in olive oil.
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Julie, that was so funny I would have peed my pants if I had been there and heard that story, just think what those people were thinking about her. The only time I have been embarassed I was at work and I was reading a romance novel at lunch and one of the guys came in and said on my goodness you read that stuff no wonder why you are in such a good mood in the afternoons. After that I got a cover to cover my paperback books. Where I work now I would not read one of those books unless I had a cover..
I have a recipe for you it is really good I made 8 loaves and took to hubby’s work they all loved it. It has a little glaze on that is light and very good making me hungry right now. LOL
Zucchini Orange Bread
This recipe makes 2 loaves
Bread: 4 eggs
1 1/2 cups sugar
3/4 cup Oil
2/3 Cup Orange Juice
2 cups shredded unpeeled Zucchini
3 1/4 Cups all purpose Flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoons cloves
2 teaspoons grated orange peel ( I don’t always use this)
1/2 cup chopped nuts, if desired
Glaze: 1 cup powdered sugar
2 to 3 teaspoons orange juice
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour bottoms only of two 8×4 or two 9×5-inch loaf pans. In large bowl, beat eggs until thick and lemon colored: gradually beat in sugar. Stir in oil, 2/3 cups orange juice and zucchini. Stir in remaining bread ingredients; mix well. Pour batter into greased and floured pans.
Bake at 350F for 45 to 55 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans. Cool slightly.
In small bowl, blend glaze ingredients, adding enough orange juice for desired spreading consistency. Spread over warm loaves. Cool completely. Wrap tightly and store in refrigerator.
It is so yummy even if you are not a big orange flavor person it is just a hint and very good. Now I am going to have to go make some.
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Hello.
My computer worked slowly, many mistakes and buggs. Please, help me to fix errors on my computer.
I used Windows XP.
Thx,
emonyaceddy
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