As I mentioned last week, Bruce and I had a really horrible experience during our flight home from Las Vegas. I think I can get by without a bunch of four-letter words now that I’ve had two weeks to calm down.
Here Goes:
I. Can’t. Stand. Discourteous. People.
I don’t know whether it’s just the age we live in, the go-go-go, high-speed world or what, but common courtesy just seems to be disappearing more and more every day.
I really can’t stand the cell phone age. Yes, they’re convenient, but oh, people just seem to have no concept of keeping a private conversation private. I hear one-sided conversations everywhere, every day, and I am so tempted to just tell people, “I don’t care! Nobody around you cares!” I have been in line at the grocery store when somebody gets on their cell phone, yacks away, completely ignores the cashier who’s just trying to do her job, holds up everyone else and breezes out of the store like she owns it. Some people have incredibly personal conversations on the phone in closed-in places like airplanes, as if nobody else around them has anything better to do but listen to their drama.
I always thought a one-sided conversation on a cell phone was bad. But I learned better. Oh, on this trip did I learn better!
A two-sided conversation is SO MUCH WORSE!
Okay…the flight home from Vegas. After a very long day in the city, we took a redeye home. A redeye can be a great way to fly if you’re the type who can sleep on a plane (Janelle…lol!) But if you’re a light sleeper, it’s a really risky proposition. Especially if you have the great misfortune to sit directly in front of two women named Kim and Linda, and a third whose name I can’t remember.
It started before we ever took off, at the gate.
Apparently, Linda’s boyfriend was flying first class home to Detroit. Linda, who is 57 and has never been married and never had kids, but adores her little nephew, who comes and stays with her 1 weekend a month because her sister got a divorce from a really abusive jerk (said sister being much younger, as Linda is the oldest, with 12 years between her and her siblings, all of whom were raised in a much different atmosphere, very spoiled by their parents, unlike Linda, who never got a dime to go to college, never got her own car, didn’t get to go to sporting events at school because she had to work…that Linda…) Anyway, she couldn’t get into first class. Boyfriend refused to give up his 1st class seat and sit with the rabble in the back of the plane. So Linda got annoyed—you know, I don’t blame her, I would have, too. Problem is (as I am sure you’ve already started to grasp) Linda started to talk about it.
So, at the gate in Vegas, she meets up with Kim. Kim is 27. She has a voice like a 13 year old cheerleader high on pixie sticks with a megaphone in each hand .
They weren’t supposed to sit together, but a really nice person agreed to switch seats so Linda could sit with Kim (oh freaking joy for all of us.)
Now, on the plane, even before we take off, we hear from Kim.
She is dating the best man in the world even though he’s a little heavy and not great looking and a lot older. But he’s really cool because he used to be a roady for these bands after he dropped out of high school, but then he realized he needed an education so he went back to school, got a doctorate and is now a professor, and now he’s treating her like a QUEEN. Do you understand? A total QUEEN. And he adores her 3 year old daughter—want to see a picture of her? How about another one? Oh you HAVE to see this one. My ex, who is my daughter’s father, is a real jerk. I was with him for 7 years, I built his business from nothing to a MULTI million dollar a year business and what do I have to show for it? Nothing. Did he appreciate me? No. Was he abusive? Yes. Did he understand that I have been through hell, had to become an adult by the age of 9, was on my own by 17, was raped, and abused, and I’m the most mature 27 year old in the world because I listen to classical music on my MP3 and don’t you want to listen to it? And oh, Kim was meeting with clients who took her to the Blue Man Group show which was fabulous, best show ever, and her clients just loved her and paid for everything And Kim’s a waitress…hmm.clients? And Kim’s going to Paris next month (at which point Bruce leans over and whispers, “It could be worse, we could be on her flight to Paris!)
By now, the very nice gentleman next to me has asked me to please ask the flight attendant if she has any poison on her cart because he really just wants to die. (Not joking.)
The couple in front of me have turned around at least 20 times to offer us commiserating looks and glare at the completely clueless twits behind us who have talked nonstop, every minute, since they sat down. Everyone—I mean, every person on our side of the aisle and the opposite one, beside us, in front of us—they’ve all turned around to glare, stare, gape and snicker. But Bruce and I are seated directly in front of Kim and Linda, so we have definitely got the worst of it.
Okay, back to our friends. The flight attendant comes and they decide to (of course) have a few drinks! Because that’ll really help the situation! The girl next to Linda gets dragged into the conversation and they each order 2 bottles of Jack each and quickly down them and ask for more. The speech gets louder, more personal, more slurred. I didn’t know it was possible for people to talk so much without their vocal cords spasming and shutting down completely.
Finally, though, Kim crashes hard. Snoring commences. Linda and seatmate continue to drunkenly kvetch, with seatmate telling Linda she probably shouldn’t go up to first class to tell off the jerk boyfriend. Linda doesn’t listen. She gets up, goes forward and confronts the guy not once, not twice, but THREE times in the last half-hour of the flight. Every time putting her hand on the back of my seat and pulling my chair, then doing the same to Bruce who is on the aisle. Then she staggers up, vents, comes back sobbing and staggering. Lather, rinse repeat.
Finally, there’s silence. The guy next to me is trying to read a book at 4 in the morning. He whispers, “I think I managed to read this whole page. I had given up because I just kept reading the same paragraph over and over!”
We turn around and peek. All 3 of them are completely passed out. And (I kid you not) probably 50 seconds go by before they announce that we’re coming in to Detroit and to prepare for landing.
As we land, Linda thanks Kim so much for paying for their drinks, at which point Kim says, “I’m just a nice person. It was a kindness. I was doing a random act of kindness for a stranger, so just pass it forward and be kind to strangers.” At which point Bruce and I start laughing hysterically because it’s that or cry, both of us thinking it would have been a random act of kindness for her to have duct taped her mouth shut three hours earlier.
Now, why did I need to share all this crap about two utter strangers? Well, I didn’t. The whole point was to illustrate how horrible these two selfish, obnoxious women were to everyone around them on this very long, very uncomfortable Northwest Airlines flight on Thursday, March 19 from Vegas to Detroit. (Yes, Linda and Kim, if you’re out there, I AM talking about you.) I learned far more about them than I ever wanted to know about any two strangers and they shared it in voices loud enough to keep a group of at least 20 people from getting a minute’s rest on an overnight flight.
Rude. Inconsiderate. DISCOURTEOUS.
Okay. I’m done. And not one four-letter word. Can you believe it?
Looking back—paying the eighty bucks to upgrade to first class on the way out was SO worth it!
Anybody else have some similar stories to get off your chest?
Leslie Kelly used to say she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up, but then she discovered Nancy Drew books. Being a flashlight-under-the-covers-nose-in-book reader throughout her childhood, she couldn’t think of anything else she’d rather do as an adult than continue to lose herself in fictional stories. Her real life marriage of 20 years to the man of her dreams is a constant reinforcement that happily-ever-afters really can happen…and that they’re worth writing about. Living in Maryland, Leslie spends her non-writing time laughing a lot with the above-mentioned romance hero and their three daughters. Though an author of more than thirty sexy, contemporary comedies, she has recently branched out to write dark romantic suspense under the pseudonym Leslie Parrish.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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Wow. I am thanking God right now that I’ve never had a rude experience like that, especially on a plane. I don’t know about you, but I think at that time of night, I eventually would have lost it and said something, smart or not. (I can imagine being arrested once the plane landed because that confrontation would not go well).
And for the record, people who have to tell you how wonderful, unselfish, nurturing, caring they are, uh no, they really aren’t. Actions speak louder than words, and a truly great person has no need to say a word. In fact a truly caring person doesn’t even think that way. That’s just who they are. Just sayin’.
I totally, totally agree with you about discourtesy. I was going through the self-checkout at the grocery story and the lady checking out her items was on her cellphone, so she only had one hand free to scan her items, and she’d pause during the conversation to listen, or whatever. If I had been right behind her, I think I would have been compelled to grab the phone and toss it out the door. I work in a credit union, and have to bite my tongue when someone comes in on their cellphone. And most times you have to ask them a question and can’t get their attention. Very frustrating. Behavior becomes “all about me”. The sad thing is, I think most of us do things like that and don’t even realize it. (Note to self: be more courteous today).
I do believe in paying it forward, but not in that way. And thanx for the laugh, even though you & Bruce had to suffer through that. I think I would have been asking for that poison myself *g*
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OMG! I am so sorry you had to go through that, but great rant, Leslie! I on the other hand tend to be able to filter out unwanted noises. Like there was this one time when my husband and I were on a train from Scotland to London (that’s about 6 hours, if I remember correctly!), and there was this couple opposite us who apparently just met and were getting to know each other. I was sitting by the aisle, but turned deaf when they talked the whole journey through. Hubby on the other hand asked me how I could not have heard that loud conversation. LOL
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Personally I’d have liked to read the 4 letter version!
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Not this early in the morning though Carly. I was eating and laughing and choking all at the same time.
When I was still at the bookstore, I had no problem asking someone who came up to the register while talking on their cellphone to please step aside until they were done so I could take care of someone else. They usually hung up red faced. I had someone come into the testing center while talking on their phone and were not happy when I asked them twice to hang up and the third time that their test would be cancelled and they would have to reschedule.
I deplore the rudeness that cell phones have brought into the public awareness.
I think, even more than cell phones, I hate the ones that do the two-way calls similar to a walkie talkie. I was in a bank line on morning and this guys phone chirrped and he made the mistake of answering it. This female (wife, girlfriend) did nothing but use those 4-letter words while the poor guy stood their red-faced. She didn’t care when he told her he was standing in a bank line. With lots of people. OMG! I felt sorry for him. I really did.
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I remember hearing someone on TV complain that someone broke a date with them by text messaging and how rude that was. But stop and think about it- a text is quiet and no one else needs to listen to it.
I do lots of texting. But not while driving.
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Hello Leslie,
I needed this post this morning. I couldn’t help but laugh
through the majority of your post. Sorry. I feel for you. I’m with Carly I’d like to hear the four letter word version. Hope your next flight is uneventful but you have to admit, it made a great post. Maybe you could use the experience in one of your books. Just a thought.
Have a great day.
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Leslie, I’m so sorry you and Bruce had to deal with such rude people. I’ve been pretty lucky on flights so far, the worst being a child kicking me in the back for almost an hour. Sad thing is, the parents were sitting with the child and didn’t tell him to stop kicking the chair in front of him. BTW, I also would have loved the story with the 4 letter words.
I don’t understand why anyone thinks it is ok to be on a cell phone while checking out at the grocery store, bank or anywhere else. I’ll talk while I’m in a store(nothing personal) but when I get up to the checkout, I always get off the phone. I just call the person back when I get in my car.
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Sorry you had to go through that. In the day would have been bad enough. But through the night, preventing anyone from getting sleep is horrible. I get like a cranky 2 year old without sleep.
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Folks, be careful what you wish for. I’ve heard the four letter word version. It’s not pretty.
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I would also like to hear the four-letter word version! I bet it’s priceless!
It must be redeye flights where you get rude people like that. Last year we flew to Boca to see my M-I-L and there were three people sitting in front of us–a girl on the aisle, her boyfriend in the middle and this stranger in the window seat. This girl completely ignored her boyfriend and talked to the stranger NON STOP from Denver to the airport in Ft. Lauderdale!! Honestly, I don’t remember what they talked about, I just remember them talking continuously until about 5 minutes before we landed.
We decided then and there we would NEVER take another redeye.
Cher
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Oh, Bruce! I’d just stopped snorting coffee out my nose and then I got to your comment and started all over again!
I don’t have anything nearly that entertaining, but my last flight home from Tampa, I thought the baseball player across the aisle and I was going to have to help the flight attendant subdue a gal who refused to hang up or turn off her cell phone during take off. She made a big show of turning it off but as soon as the attendant turned her back, the phone was out and on.
“Phone’s off during take-off,” says me, retired assistant chief of an airport rescue-fire department
“It doesn’t matter if my phone is on during take off. That’s just a big lie!” says she. And then she pulled the race card.
“All that matters is that it is an FAA rule. Turn it off or I will,” says I after the attendant returns and threatens to get the pilot involved. Before she could play a second card, Baseball Boy leaned over and advised her not to. The attendant confiscated the phone with BB and I as backup.
When the flight deplaned in Houston, she said loudly, “I’m never flying Southwest Airlines again and you’ll be hearing from my attorney!” The plane applauded. “Good, because we don’t want to fly with you!” many said. “I’m an attorney,” one passenger said. “I’ll defend Southwest pro bono!” Yeah. She had the good graces to look embarrassed finally.
There’s a reason the DH and I call it Fun, Travel, and Adventure!
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I can’t believe I didn’t use any 4-letter for OR emoticons!
Obviously not enough 
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Oh Leslie, you poor gal. I worked at the airport in Vegas for a few years. I had to deal with Linda and Kim many many times at the counter.
Gosh I am so glad I work in education now!
The kids and parents seem horrible some days. But this post reminds me how much I love my new job!
Thanks for the reminder.
Have a Terrific Tuesday!
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Leslie, I’m SO sorry–you and Bruce and the rest of you horribly oppressed passengers deserve an award AND a lovely quiet spa day. Linda and Kim and friend need some lessons from Miss Manners and if those don’t take, some duct tape and a REAL friend who’s not afraid to use it!
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Omg Leslie the poison comment did me in. I feel pity for all of you. Ticking off yet another reason why I hate to fly–no escape from some of the horrible people you have to sit by
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BTW, I got a call from my fur baby’s vet yesterday–It’s benign!!
YAY!!!
The pathologist thinks it was a swollen salivary gland. I’m soooo relieved.
Have a great day all,
Cher
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Oh Leslie I am so sorry about the trip home!
People should realize, especially at that un Godly hour to just shut up!
The only flying that I have really done was when I was taking my daughter home from Dallas to Lubbock after she had been released from Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children after one her many back surgeries. There was one flight where we were two hours late taking off and my daughter, being in a wheelchair and unable to stand with out my assistance, was forced to sit all that time when she should have been lying down because of the pain from the surgery and all. Well we are sitting at the front of the plane because of obvious reasons. My daughter mind you has not said one word nor has she complained, she just wants to sit down on the plane and lay back with her pain pill and sleep the hour flight home.
We get on the plane (Preboard) and there is a man sitting in the aisle seat. Okay in a southwest plane the front row on the right side as you are facing forward has a row of seats facing forward and another facing the rear of the plane. Any way, The man on the front aisle seat looks at my daughter and myself like we had just sprouted a fresh head from our necks as I approach to lift my, then 8 year old daughter, who BTW is in a full body cast out of her wheelchair and into the seat next to the window. I did not ask for his help, I didn’t need it I have been doing this for a while. But I did need him to stand so that it would give me the room I needed to manuver her from the chair into the seat without hurting my back or God forbid dropping her on the floor. He refused to stand aside for what would only take five minutes tops. He glared at me and my daughter for asking. I mean it wasn’t like I was going to kick him out of his seat perminatly. I just needed a little room to operate is all.
When we finally landed in Lubbock and everyone else was off the plaine and they had brought her chair up to us, the pilot came back and gave my daughter a set of wings and a certificate for her first flight and then he appoligized for the VERY RUDE man and sent my daughter home with a large bag filled with those tiny packages of airline peanuts and a gift certificate for a Happy Meal.
No, it didn’t make up for the mans inconsiderate attude but to my daughter it made everything just fine.
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Patsy, that’s HORRIBLE! I’m so sorry you had to endure that and hugs to your daughter. But the pilot should have come back when it was all happening! Or a flight attendant at the very least.
I had a similar situation when my daughter was a baby and still traveling in a car seat on the plane, where a guy would not get up to allow me to put her car seat in. I thought my husband was going to punch him. I had to maneuver around him as best I could in this little plane that was going to the Keys. What a jerk. If I hadn’t just wanted to GET THERE I would have made a bigger stink.
Les, I’m sorry you went through that trip. I hope Kim and Linda receive all the gifts that KARMA sees fit to reward them with!
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Leslie, what a crazy story, but, IA with Roberta–maybe a funny scene in a book one day.
In connection with cell phones, while at Celebrate Romance in Portland, I was sitting alone at a table in the lounge, eating dinner. Next to me was a “business dinner” meeting that was just getting started, with a total of 10. While the “leader” was discussing business issues, at least 3 of the participants were swiftly clicking through their cells, checking messages, etc., completely & rudely ignoring the leader’s discussion. Now, not that I give age any quarter for being rude, these were 30-40ish people. How do these people stay employed at this co.? If I were the leader, I’d stop talking, & start glaring at them, until they stopped, but, evidently, it’s OK w/him to discuss business, while several of his department completely ignores what he’s saying. I HATE that cells/PDAs, texting, twittering, etc. have replaced personal interacting with others. Ugh!
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Whew, Cher, on the fur baby.
And Patsy? 
to the jerk on the plane. I abhor people like that and tend to get in their faces. Or travel with the DH who is large and scary looking. Especially when he starts slinging legalese around! 
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Thanks Julie!
Kids are resilient, Thank God!
My daughter is now 19 almost 20 and even after all this time she still remembers the pilot and how nice he was to her.
Yeah the pilot and flight attendants were NO help at the time but I like to think that as you said “Karma” Came back to bite him! LOL
Enjoy the rest of your day ladies!
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Oh, Leslie, what a horrible experience. Luckily, the worst experience I’ve had is someone next to me trying to strike up a conversation while I was trying to read on an afternoon flight to DC. I was able to politely point out that I was reading and not really wanting to have a conversation.
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Glad you are home safe and sound, if more tired than you should be, and I really admire your restraint. I totally agree with you about the selfish, self centered, clueless, egotistical, just plain rude people we all run across in our daily life.
Let’s just say one of my best memories was of just such a person and redemption.
It happened on a cross country flight with my four month old daughter. The man sitting next to us in the bulk head row was obviously a frequent business traveler. He was rude and obnoxious from the moment he realized he would be sitting next to someone with a baby. He, of course, had never been a baby himself and was was highly indignant to be subjected to being seated next to one. Highly unusual, but true, my daughter was an angel…never cried, never fussed. Even her diaper change was accompanied by smiles and happy gurgles. She slept most of the flight, in fact. As luck would have it, there were flight delays because of weather and it was a toss up whether we would make our connecting flight. Redemption came when, as we landed, the man apologized for his rather bad attitude, directed us to the gate for our connecting flight and then he stood, staunchly blocking the aisle from all other passengers so we could get off first. We made our connection only because of the time his actions saved us.
And in a weird correlation, ever notice how people that act out like Linda, Kim and friend are also likely tailgaters when they drive (especiallly when talking on their cell phones)?
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I am so sorry for you horrible flight. I have had one similar.
I was on my way home after being away with the military for nine months. I was extremely anxious to see my husband and children and somehow ended up in the row with the emergency exits. This is where 3 seats face 3 other seats.
I was sitting by a nice lady who was content to read a book, as this was my plan I was happy and the other side a gentleman with a newspaper.
Across from us were three people that became fast friends and were loud and obnoxious then entire 5 hour flight. The one conversation they had that has stuck with me was about obituaries. They wanted to know why they didn’t list the cause of death, they felt this was really important and went on about it for quite some time.
I was horrified by these folks and completely embarrassed for them. My seat mates were in the same boat, shaking their heads and merely hiding behind their chosen reading material.
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Hey guys, I hope that everyone is doing well…
Les, you are not ticked off or anything are you? Lol…sorry you had to endure what you did with Linda and Kim. I hope that if they happen to check this blog out, they will understand what you are trying to say…
I must say that I am with Alannah and Carly, would absolutely love to hear the “R-rated” version of this blog…
Your mind is like a steel trap woman…hahahaa…I would not have remembered all the details…I have had experiences like this on some flights, but I just try to tune people out, but putting on my music…I remember one time, I had three kids sitting behind me and one of them kept kicking my chair…it was rather annoying, and I didn’t really say anything…it got to the point when I actually got up and told the ‘rents that their kid was kicking me…mom tried to contain the really excited boy, and he continued…I endured that for the rest of the flight…I think I fell asleep eventually, and forgot about it…sometimes it is just easier for me to react that way…
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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TerryS, your story reminds me of another one. Maybe I’ve told this one here before…I can’t remember!
When my daughter was about two, we flew up to Pennsylvania for a christening. We stayed with friends and on the way home, flew back with the grandfather of the christened baby.
He made a big deal about how he hated flying with children, how he was sitting a good ten rows away from us and that he’d be drinking and relaxing while we sat with our fussy child. I tried to tell him that our daughter, who’d been flying since she was about 4 months old and was a seasoned and well-behaved traveler, but he wouldn’t believe me.
(I’m convinced that a well-prepared mother can avert any and all plane-ride meltdowns unless the child is sick.) Anyway, he refused to believe me, continued to gloat, etc.
On the flight, he was seated directly behind a little boy who not only screamed and fought the entire flight, but threw up on his parents three times. My daughter, on the other hand, looked out of the window during takeoff, had her snack and then promptly fell asleep. She woke up when we landed.
Karma. I’m telling you.
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I’m thinking I would have liked to read the four letter version!
Some people have no clue!!
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Personally I’d have liked to read the 4 letter version
You know all of their personal business
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@Silver: We had one that did that on the way home. They finally said they would be happy to return to the gate so that the pasanger could deplane and finish their call if it was that important.
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@Silver: I am borrowing him next time around myself!
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Just checking in again…my computer is having some issues…I abso hate when that happens…I may need to get a new one…this one is on the verge of tanking…
Peace and love,
Paula R.
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Personally I think there are a lot of rude people in the world today & many of them are on cell phones. They are conveinent especially when you travel alone but I rarely use mine. It seems many people just don’t seem to realize how rude they are or that they are sharing the planet with many others.
I think the people on that flight will get a dose of their own medicine someday!!
To bad you won’t get to see it!! 
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I have no idea why it seems to always happen on late night flights!
A few years back, it happened to us on the way back from Venice.
A group of 7 or 8 boarded, several were seated a couple of rows
in front of us, 2 were seated behind us. You guessed it, the folks
from up front just couldn’t be separated from those behind us! My
wish was for quiet and sleep, they had to relive their trip hanging
over the back of our seats! Acck!
Pat Cochran
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So sorry to hear about your horrible flight. I don’t think I would have been as successful to keep my mouth shut. I would have had to drink-lots! I have been fortunate to avoid any situations that extreme on airline flights. However, one incident does come to mind. I flew from South Carolina to Memphis last summer and one of the flight attendant’s preceeded to make “really” good friends with an elderly couple. I was across the isle from them in the emergency exit seats. She stayed in their area most of the flight and talked, talked, talked, cried, huged, talked etc…. She was asked numerous times by her fellow flight attendant to help serve and check to make sure we were ready to land. She actually stayed by their seats while we were landing. I cannot really remember what was said (don’t care) but I know it was too much information for complete strangers to know. They were quite enough that it was distracting but not overly annoying (able to make it off flight w/out cuffs). Good news is that at least two people on the flight received close personal customer service.
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Oh, I’m so happy to find this site! I love all of CP’s books. But for right now, I just wanted to join in on the praises of CASTLE and Nathan Fillion! :) I hope this show catches on; so far it looks like a hit to me! Very clever. Has anyone caught the internet serial called, “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” with Nathan Fillion and Neil Patrick Harris? Check it out ~ really funny and silly. Who knew they could sing? I saw the videos at imdb.com Lots of fun! Glad to find this site.