As I said last week, I’m doing a bit of a lifestyle change. This post, however, is NOT about diet or exercise. I’m still doing both, but today’s post is about FUN!!!
One of the things about my life that I have regretted is that writing isn’t a job I can turn on or off. It starts when I get up in the morning and it lasts until I go to bed at night. I can press a pause button while I take care of my family (immediate and extended) but otherwise, I don’t make time for me.
Now I do. Part of that is exercising and eating right, but another part is spending time with my friends, just being ME. I realized a few months ago that I’d let my non-writing friends “get away.” So we’ve started meeting for dinner once a month. It’s not a lot, but damn, we have a great time!
This is the three of us back in high school…freshman year, I think. We were all trying out for the dance squad and courtesy of my newly discovered photos, it’s the only one I have with all three of us together. It’s wonderful to have writer friends because they share the same life I do. And with family, we share a lot of the same experiences, too. But what I love about hanging out with Charlene and Christina is that our lives are so different. Not HUGELY different. We all grew up in similar family structures, we all have only one child and they’re all about the same age. We had the same high school experiences and college, too, and we’ve been in each other’s lives for over 25 years. And yes, we still all look alike. (I’m the one on the right.) But day-to-day, our lives are diverse. Our jobs are different. Our children’s schools are different. So for a few hours once a month, I can listen and learn to new things.
But we do have one thing in common–we all love to eat. We love good food and wine and we love dessert! I was good last night (one glass of wine, two bites only of my pasta–I ordered chicken without realizing it came with fettucine alfredo, the WORST pasta in the world for someone who is counting calories, and one bite each of their desserts!) but it’s still awesome to be able to catch up in person once a month.
I guess this blog is just in appreciation of the friends you can hang out with. Do you have some? Not email friends or phone friends or long distance friends (which you guys know I cherish more than life itself) but also the in person friends that you sometimes let drift away because of husbands, kids, busy schedules and work. We, as women, let that get in the way sometimes…we love our girlfriends, but we forget to make time for them. Not anymore!
What about you? Do you have friends to hang out with or some you can reconnect with? And when you do, what do you do for fun?
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Warm wishes for a Happy Birthday go out to Plotmonkey pal Barbara-Jo Belliveau today! We hope you have a fabulous, fun-filled day!
By all reports, Julie Leto was a sweet child once, somewhat shy, preferring to play quietly in her room making up stories. However, being raised with three brothers in a loud, primarily Italian household did have its influences and Julie discovered her inner tough girl. That’s probably why most of her heroines kick serious butt. Writing sassy heroines has worked out, as she’s sold over forty books to four publishers featuring strong, confident women. Julie lives in Florida with her daughter, a spoiled dachshund, a haughty lynx-point Siamese and a wide range of relatives all within driving distance.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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My best friend is 2 1/2 hours away. We talk on line and on the phone but with family life here and other things we don’t get together as much as either of us would like.
I have a few friends here, but again, everyone is always busy. I have been going out with my step-son for dinner with some of his friends (that I have heard about for years but finally got to meet) and we had a great time. I hope to do that soon again. We also go to the movies every now and then. We are only a few years apart in age but I was the first to know that he was gay. Or at least the first one who wasn’t afraid to acknowledge it. I think his mom knew but when she died he had no where to turn. Me? I don’t care and he knows that.
I have another friend from college here but we haven’t been able to get together for awhile. I actually spend most of my time socializing with my 87 year old neighbor next door who I take to the drs, store etc and we do lunch once a week. He is a riot and we always have a great time out!
Have fun today everyone and try and keep warm! :freezin
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Yes, I have friends like this. We live close by, and we don’t work together but try to get together a few times throughout the year, but life tends to get in the way. When we do get together, dinner and laughing is always involved. Sometimes we go out for a movie but mostly it’s just us sitting and talking, catching up. I’m usually the one nagging everyone too, because we don’t spend a lot of time with each other, and I drag them away from their families to have some “me” time with their friends. We deserve it!
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Julie! I didn’t know about this. It’s GREAT that you’re reconnecting and doing things for YOU! I see my girl friends for lunch. It’s a great writing break and forces me out of the house. We are very different with different things in common, mostly our kids! I don’t have old college or HS friends who live nearby.
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Happy Birthday, Barbara-Jo
Most of my friends are other writers but I do have friends who play the harp as well so we connect on that level. Then I have friends here in our neighborhood. We mostly chat out by the mail box to catch up. My husband and I have mutual friends through his business and those we know through Special Olympics. I don’t have a group I go to dinner with on any regular basis. But my husband does. He calls it his Men’s Group. They meet once a month at a different restaurant and someone chooses a topic for discussion.
Have a wonderful day all,
Cher
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Barbara-Jo! Happy Birthday!
Sorry that the post with comments wishing you a happy birthday was deleted. I was attempting to swallow it in to my blog post today (which I should have done last night) and I messed it up!
Also thanks, everyone, for patience this morning as Plotmonkeys moved to a new server!
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I read this blog daily but only seldom respond. However, I just had to respond today. I have a group of friends from high school (5 of us) who takes a “Mommies Gone Wild” trip every summer. We have shirts made and wear them to and from the airport and it’s even gotten us free drinks & appetizers while sitting on the beach. We are far from wild, that’s for sure. We sit in the pool reading books, sit on the beach talking about old times, catching up, etc all day and night. We just relax and enjoy each other. We all miss our family while we’re gone but I think it makes me a better mother/wife because I have been able to have a little ME time. We usually go to Florida in July because it’s not real busy but last year we went to Vegas because we were all turning 40. Had a great time and I suggest everyone have a little ME time.
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Wow, this post struck a cord within me. I have friends who aren’t writers and yet I hardly spend any time with them anymore. My best friend was my friend before she started writing and we’re cp’s today so that one is a double blessing.
But I have a couple of other really good friends who we email (mostly forwards) once in a while, but hardly talk anymore. I’m going to work on that this week. Thanks for the reminder. :)
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I am taking 2 weeks of ME time next month and driving my daughter’s car out to her in CA from NY. :wave: Hi Silver!!
There will only be ME- no hubby, no kid, no dogs (pooh on that actually) and no cats! Just me, my ipod, my ereader and my laptop and all her crap I can fit in the back of her car! 2 weeks of doing what I want, seeing who and what I want and NO BACKSEAT DRIVERS!! Wait, that’s me.
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Hey Julie,
Most of the friends I do have are male. I’ve tried to get along with their wives/girlfriends, but it just never seems to work. I don’t have kids or pets because we just don’t want to and in my experience I have learned not to judge a book by its cover. Call me cynical, I guess it would be right. These things remove a lot of areas for commonalities.
I am still trying to find friends that I can share a “common bond” with. Those people I do find are nowhere near where I live. I am not in anyway a mainstream person. I have always been on the fringes, I guess I was just born there. Out here, real friends are harder to find.
Carrie
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I have several different groups that I ‘move around’ in and I do a MNO (moms night out) with my moms club and now I have started doing a Ladies Night out with my church. It’s always good to get out of the house for the night and just be moi. I also try to take just ‘me’ time everyday. My daily walk is really good for that!
Happy Birthday, Barbara Jo!
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Stay warm, out there. We’re supposed to have snow tonight (what’s up with that? This is the PNW!!!!).
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I do have a couple friends from college that I try and get together with about once a month. Of course, that only started at the end of last year when I got back from my second vacation. Before that, we’d seen each other only twice last year and about the same the year before because of our jobs.
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Friends are so important. Me time is very important for any woman especially wives & Mom’s that are always putting everyone else first. I learned a long time ago to make “me” time. After my divorce I found out if I didn’t take care of me no one else was going to do it! Not easy for any of us that tend to give, give, give. My children are grown & gone with their own families so I get to do whatever I want whenever I want, it helps that I am also now retired! Back to friends. One of my best friends is over two hundred miles away but we talk on the phone at least once a month or more often. Even if we don’t talk often it is as if we saw each other or spoke just the day before. As she explains to her “man” she gets me! She is in a rural area where she has lived for probably about 30 years. We have known each other well for over 40 years. We have been friends through weddings, divorce, children, grandchildren, her husbands death we have a huge history. We can laugh & we can cry & like she says we get each other. It doesn’t matter that we are far apart we are there. I would wish friendship like that for everyone.
:love:
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Ev, I tried to send you a post on your blog about I would be glad to get together with you if you come through Vegas. Somehow, I was not able to, so if you would like the offer is open.
On to the subject…I have only a couple of friends in town and we get together for dinner every few months. Me and one at a time, because the other two do not really mesh.
The girls though, we get together once a year (there are four of us and we live far apart). Two years ago we got matching heart tattoss with our birthstones inside. This past weekend was our weekend. Unfortunately, I hurt so bad, I missed two of the three activities, so I “momma-d” them with sprite and top ramen for the um…hangovers that they were sporting.
Also, please keep me in your thoughts, my pain is really bad today. I am looking into finding someone for acupuncture. :)
Have a terrific day and thanks everyone for sharing about our special friendships. They are terribly important. I think I’ll go make a call to someone today.
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My group of writing friends have become sisters to me in the past few years. Not having gone to a traditional high school and working my way through college eliminated the chance for some long term friendships, but I have 1 non-writing friend I’m really close to. She’s a bit older than me, and was my youth pastor’s wife when I was in youth group. As I became an adult, our friendship changed and I consider her family. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding, was there with me through several miscarriages and the births of my 2 children, and several deaths in her family. Though we both lead busy lives, we try to get ogether for lunch twice each year When we do, it feels like we’ve never been apart. We laugh and catch up like we saw each other yesterday. I’m so grateful to have that type of friendship in my life. :hug2:
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I worked on our high school reunion committee for some thirty
years and chaired the 50th anniversary gathering. Through
this activity, I was able to keep in touch with committee and
with most of the class members. This year is the 55th
anniversary of our graduation from Jefferson Davis HS in
Houston, TX!
Happy Birthday, Barbara-Jo!
Pat Cochran
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Happy Birthday Barbara-Jo! I hope you have a great day!
This is the one thing that I miss so much since moving to Oregon — time with my girlfriends, (shopping, movies, lunches, etc!) who are now all in California.
But the first week in April one of those girlfriends is coming to Oregon to spend the weekend with ME! It will be a full weekend of eating, shopping, a movie or two, pedicures, and other girly-fun stuff!I’m so excited I can hardly wait!!! :angelbanana
Katie — I can’t believe we’re supposed to get snow tonight! It’s been so beautiful here the past few weeks, and not even that cold! It’s only supposed to last a day, so I’m going to enjoy it! :freezin
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I go out to dinner every month with a good friend Lisa. We’ve done this for about 14 to 15 years. Yes there were a few months that we missed but for the most part we make it! It’s a tension reliever for both of us. I’m still in contact with my very first best friend from when we were 5 she lives in MT and I in MD but email is a beautiful thing. My best friend from High School is an Aunt to my children and I for her children. We spend weekends together about every 8 weeks.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY–HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY.
MY MOTHER USE TO THINK SHE HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS, BUT SOME
OF THEM WERE REALLY JUST ACQUAINTANCES. A FRIEND IS A PERSON
THAT IS THERE THRU THICK OR THIN AND ONE THAT WOULD HELP YOU
OUT OR CALL YOU AT ANY TIME DAY OR NIGHT. I ALWAYS SAY THAT
YOU CAN USUALLY COUNT YOUR FRIENDS ON ONE HAND AND SUBTRACT
SOME OF THE FINGERS. LOOKS A LOT OF THOSE THAT HAVE POSTED
ARE THE SAME. THINK IT IS GOOD THAT MOST OF YOU HAVE AT LEAST
A FEW “ME” DAYS==OR AT LEAST AN HOUR OF “ME” TIME A DAY.
HERE AT TEMPLE, TX, IT WAS UP TO OVER 80 THIS AFTERNOON. UGH.
ALICE—WHO LOVES PLOT MONKEYS
WILL BE GLAD WHEN CARLY GETS BACK SO SHE CAN SEND ME THE
BOOK THAT I WON ON PLOTMONKEYS A FEW WEEKS AGO.
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Wow Julie I do have a friend like this lol, but I do get together with my friends more in the summer than the winter to cold to go out lol.
I went out Sunday to a friend’s house and we had a great time catching up.
I agree with Alice 100% because that’s what I would do for my friends and they would do the same
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My best friends and I get together at least once a month for dinner and drinks. There are several of us that are also doing a “getting healthy” club and we meet every week to go over food and exercise. We’ve been friends since the day we first met our freshman year in college(I can’t believe it’s been 20 years). We are doing dinner this Saturday night and I can’t wait to spend time with my friends.
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Julie, I am so proud of you! For those of you who don’t know who I am….. I was Julies choir (also taught band) teacher back in the late 70′s. I still am teaching music in the midwest and now feel so fortunate to have made the connection back to this gifted and talented person who enriched my life as well as countless others along her journey to greatness. She is sincere, honest and above reproach. I never was much of a reader. (My mom used to give me $1 – when that was a lot of money to read each book and I never did read much). But now, close to my retirement I am ordering her books one at a time. They are so cool, I hope my students all over the place wake up and discover her. We are all really blessed to have her in our lives. She is simply…………the best!