The winner of the signed copy of SECRET FANTASY is:
:freezin # 52 ALICE! :freezin
CONGRATULATIONS, ALICE!
Email me at Carly phillips @ mac . com (no spaces) with your mailing address so I can send your prize!
And now for the Sunday funny …
Questions that haunt me…
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or
shoplifting?
_____
Can you cry under water?
_____
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
_____
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for
your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
_____
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?
_____
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
_____
What disease did cured ham actually have?
_____
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
_____
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like
every two hours?
_____
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
_____
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
_____
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
_____
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They’re going to see you naked anyway.
_____
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
_____
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
_____
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
_____
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
_____
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs!
_____
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he
just buy dinner?
_____
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
_____
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
_____
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
_____
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
_____
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
_____
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
_____
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
*******
HAPPY SUNDAY!
And remember to watch EXTRA TV tomorrow night!
Carly Phillips would like to take 100% credit for all her stories but the truth is, Carly’s strength is writing family, emotion, funky elderly people and animals. She couldn’t plot her way out of a paper bag, which is why she smartly found her plotmonkey pals early on in her writing career. Thanks to their support, Carly is now a NYT Bestselling author of 23 plus novels. Because writing doesn’t keep her busy enough, Carly is also a wife, a mother of one preteen and one teenage daughter, the primary care giver of her soft coated Wheaten terrier and an expert carpool mom.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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http://www.plotmonkeys.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/yahoo-rotfl.gif
You sound like a Gallagher fan! I remember when I first heard him a long time ago (20 years or something to that effect), he cracked me up with similar questions such as:
1. Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
2. If yogurt is cultured sour cream, how do you know when yogurt’s gone bad?
I know there were others, but those are the ones that stick in my head the most. There was one about calling gelatin Jell-o but pudding is still pudding, but I can’t remember exactly how it went.
Here are some answers to the above questions that make sense and some that…well…you be the judge.
For the record, pizza comes in a square box because a square box is easier to assemble and cheaper to make. Not only that, I believe that pizzas used to be square but circles were easier to divide – don’t quote me on that, but it sounded good, didn’t it?
We put a man in space to beat the Russians to it. Not only that, I think wheels were on luggage pretty early, it’s just that flight attendants and pilots got the good stuff first! What did we get out of the deal? Tang!
You put your two cents in so that they have the penny to give back to you at a later date.
As far as I know, a hearse cannot drive in the carpool lane unless the dead guy is sitting in the seat next to him. Of course, doesn’t a family member usually ride with the driver anyway, to make sure the dead guy gets where’s he’s supposed to go?
To clarify, stupidity comes from morons and morality comes from Moris the Meow Mix Cat (moris being french for manner)
For Wyle E. Coyote, it was never really about eating, just killing that annoying and irritating road runner (oh I wished for Wyle’s success at the beginning of every episode only to be insanely disappointed). There’s an even better question:
They killed off Daffy Duck at least once an episode, but the coyote was never allowed to kill the road runner? How cheap and unsatisfying was that?
We dislike dogs’ breath and they dislike ours. Generally they like sticking their heads out the windows because it’s the only time they can’t smell their own fur!
As for Jimmy cracking corn, I think this guy had it right in that Jimmy might have been a cow (or maybe even a pig) and the point of the song was that a slave master was bitten by a blue-tail fly and is now dead
See here for that:
http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/20/messages/1007.html
But it’s possible the name of the pony was Jimmy….
Oh, this was a fun blog… Happy Sunday!
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Okay, that was really weird. The little rofl guy was supposed to be at the beginning of my post about Carly’s questions, but somehow two turned up after my dog comment :wallbash:
But I guess it’s kind of funny in its own right :pomgirl:
Alright, I hope I figured this icon thing out now.
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Okay, I give up with the icons, they just don’t work right with my browser….
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I’VE NEVER FIGURED OUT HOW TO USE AN ICON EXCEPT THE ONE
OF MY EMAIL PAGE.
CAN’T BELIEVE I WON THE FRIDAY BOOK GIVEWAY, LOOKING
FORWARD TO GETTING AND READING THE BOOK.
ALICE IN TEXAS
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Yey, Alice!
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Congrats Alice! Enjoy the book!
Great funnies Carly!
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Congrats, Alice!
Enjoy and let us know how you liked it!
Carly? I’m forty pages from finishing this edit. I am now sitting here comparing Twinkle, Twinkle and ABC. By singing them!
I could have gone my whole life without pondering the weighty matters above. Now I can’t stop. :scratch3:
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Congratulations, Alice!
Carly, now I can’t get that tune out of my head! :doh:
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Good for you Alice!
I never thought about a,b,c and twinkle twinkle before.
Who knew
Hugs to everyone.
LESLIE that new book sure is tiny print. If you weren’t a plotmonkey
I’d have missed a good story. Geech don’t they know about the aging population.
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Having two little ones, I knew the Twinkle Twinkle/ABC question without having to play them in my head. It’s also the melody for “Baa, baa, black sheep”
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I can’t believe I was sitting there humming Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and the ABC song.
Congratulations, Alice! Enjoy!
Have a wonderful Sunday everyone,
Cher :danmonk
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Congrats Alice!
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“If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or
shoplifting?”
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t find this funny…
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Everyone enjoy your Sunday. I am going to give in to start watching Super Bowl madness soon even though the game won’t start for about 2 more hours! Yea, John Madden is announcing, love to listen to him. He is so knowledgeable about the game and the players he adds an extra element to any game he is announcing.
Just because I love the icons: :monkey :monkey :monkey :monkey
:danmonk
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I am sorry but I agree with Alexandra but maybe that is because I was almost raped and that isn’t my kind of humor.
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I want to invite you to add your books to a new site a friend and I started that caters to book reviews. It’s open to authors and readers. It gives the readers a chance to meet and get to know the authors. Both can write reviews about their books or books they have and are reading. I think you will like it. We are selling books through this site too. http://reviewabook.ning.com
Martha
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Congratulations, Alice!
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Yay for Alice!
So instead of working on my homework that’s due in a couple hours, I found myself exploring this wonderful site…and I just had to put in my “two cents” …
“Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for
your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?”
First of all, it cost more to voluntarily say your thoughts, because the people hearing them are taking a risk that they might be bad thoughts. Where as, when people want your opinion they only charge you half price.
That extra penny is returned to you eventually (it’s kept as collateral) – usually dirty and grimy from being on the street. See when you find your penny heads up that means you had some good thoughts so you deserve a little luck. But when you find your penny heads down that’s pretty much saying your thoughts weren’t that great (maybe keep them to yourself next time) so you’re being punished with a little bad luck.
I hope as I walk to class later, I find a penny heads up
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Totally enjoyed the questiona. By the time we find all the answers, we will have solved the mysteries of the world, I reckon. Thanks so much for some genuine belly laughs and Happy Valentine’s Day, Carly!