Yesterday someone mentioned a funny email that circulated some years back, about a couple who moved to somewhere snowy and how their opinion of the white stuff changes over one December. I remember it well and remembered loving it. So I hunted it down. Since I’m crazy-busy, I thought I’d just share this little chestnut so everyone can have a good laugh.
Enjoy!
(PS: I don’t know who wrote it–wish I could give credit, but I just can’t. To the author–thanks!)
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:freezin
December 8th , 6 p.m.
It has started to snow. The first snow of this year. My wife and I took our cocktails and sat at the window for hours. Watched how the gigantic, white flakes came down from the sky. It looked like a fairytale. It was so romantic we felt like newlyweds
I love snow!!!
December 9th
When we awoke, a beautiful, lovely blanket had covered up every inch of the landscape with crystal white snow. What a fantastic sight! Could there be a more beautiful, lovely place in the world? Moving here was the best idea I ever had. I shoveled snow for the first time in years. I felt like a little boy again as I shoveled the entry and the sidewalk. This afternoon, the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalk and closed the entry. So I got out the shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12th
The sun melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor said not to worry, we will definitely have a white Christmas. No snow at Christmas would be terrible! Bob said we would have so much snow by the end of the winter that I’d never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible. Bob was very nice – I’m glad he is our neighbor.
December 14th
Snow, wonderful snow! 30 inches last night. The temperature had dropped to -20 degrees. The cold made everything glitter. The wind took my breath away but I warmed up by shoveling again. This is the life! The snow plow came back this afternoon and covered everything again. I didn’t realize I would have so much to shovel, but I will cerrtainly get back in shape. Wish I wouldn’t huff and wheeze so much.
December 15th
Forecast: 60 inches. Sold my station wagon and bought a Jeep. Bought winter tires for my wife’s car and two extra shovels. Filled up the freezer and refrigerator. My wife wants to buy a wood-burning stove, in case the electricity goes out. That’s ridiculous. After all, we aren’t in Alaska.
December 16th
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt when I went to sprinkle salt. Was aching terribly. My wife laughed for an hour. I found this rather cruel.
December 17th
Still far below zero. The roads are too icy to go anywhere. The electricity was off for 5 hours. Wrapped myself in blankets so as not to freeze to death. No television!! Did nothing but stare at my wife. Thought we should have bought a wood-burning stove, but I will never admit that to her. I hate it when she is right! I am about to freeze to death in my own living-room!
December 20th
Electricity is back, but once again 40 inches of the damned white stuff last night! Shoveled more. Snow lasted for the whole day. The lousy snow plow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but he said he didn’t have any time because he had to play hockey. I think he was lying. Wanted to buy a snow blower at the hardware store but they were completely sold out! The manager says they might have more next March. I think he was lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and send the bill to me. I think he’s lying.
December 22nd.
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 30 inches of the white stuff fell last night. It is so cold, it won’t melt till August. It took me 45 minutes to get all dressed to go out to shovel, and then I had to use the bathroom. By the time I got undressed, went to the bathroom and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob for the rest of the winter because he has a snow blower on his truck. But he says he has to work too much. I think he’s lying.
December 23rd
Only 10 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0 degrees. My wife wanted me to decorate the house. Is she crazy? I don’t have time, I have to shovel. Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she was lying.
December 24th
20 inches. The snow was packed so hard by the snow plow I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack! If I ever catch the bastard who drives the snow plow, I will drag him through the snow by his hair. I know he hides behind the corner and waits until I finish shoveling, then comes down the street at 100 miles an hour to throw tons of snow where I just shoveled! Tonight my wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols and open our presents, but I didn’t have the time. I was busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25th
Merry Christmas. 60 inches more of the…..!! Snowed in. The idea of snow shoveling made my blood boil. God I hate snow ! Then the snow plow driver stopped by and asked for a donation. I hit him over the head with my shovel. My wife said I had bad manners. I think she is an idiot.
December 26th
Still snowed in. Why in the world did we ever move here? It was HER idea. She is really getting on my nerves.
December 27th
The temperature fell to -30 degrees and the water-pipes froze.
December 28th
It warmed up to 5 degrees. Still snowed in. The wife is driving me crazy!!!
December 29th
Another 30 inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof free of snow or it will cave in. That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30th
The roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for $500,000 for the bump on his head. My wife went home to her mother. 25 inches forecast.
December 31st,
Set fire to the rest of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8th
I feel so good. I like those little pills they keep giving me.
But why am I tied to the bed ???
NOTE FROM JULIE: I’m guest blogging today over at MURDER SHE WRITES, talking about villains. Please stop by and say hi!
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Warm wishes for a Happy Birthday go out to Plotmonkey pal Melissa Paquin today! We hope you have a fabulous, fun-filled day!
Leslie Kelly used to say she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up, but then she discovered Nancy Drew books. Being a flashlight-under-the-covers-nose-in-book reader throughout her childhood, she couldn’t think of anything else she’d rather do as an adult than continue to lose herself in fictional stories. Her real life marriage of 20 years to the man of her dreams is a constant reinforcement that happily-ever-afters really can happen…and that they’re worth writing about. Living in Maryland, Leslie spends her non-writing time laughing a lot with the above-mentioned romance hero and their three daughters. Though an author of more than thirty sexy, contemporary comedies, she has recently branched out to write dark romantic suspense under the pseudonym Leslie Parrish.
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Oh yes, I remember this email. Right now, I can totally sympathize with the guy. True, we’ve not had 30 inches a day (times 10 days of it) but right now it’s 4 degrees and they’re predicting a few inches of the ghastly white stuff. In case I haven’t said it 500 times already, I want spring!
Stay warm & safe everyone.
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I hadn’t read this before…but since everyone knows my opinion on snow (just remember where I live!) I thought it was hilarious!
Happy birthday, Melissa!
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THANKS EVERYONE!!! I have to now get ready for a fun filled day of work! LOVED the e-card guys! FUNNY!!
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Happy Birthday, Melissa.
Love the joke, Leslie. :giggler
It’s minus 2 here this morning but the temp is supposed to rise into the upper 20′s today. Purely tropical compared to the last few days.
Have a good one,
Cher :jiveturkey:
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I will take the snow over hurricanes, tornadoes and raging fires any day. At least at the end of winter my house is still standing- even after the ice storm we just had. Besides, it’s a good reason to just stay inside, curl up under the blankets and read or sleep.
However they had better get the tracks between here and NYC open before we leave for FL on Friday morning. there are still signal lights out and I don’t want to take a 5am train to Penn Station. :hallvam
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LOL. I love that! I’m in stitches. lol. I can understand some of the pain though. I’m thankful we don’t get it all too terrible down this way with snow. Ice, yes, snow, not so much. :freezin
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YES!!! Leslie, that’s exactly the one!!! Thanks for hunting that down!!!
Happy Birthday, Melissa!! Hope it’s a fantastic day.
Just wanted to share some great and exciting news…today is the big day for me. My first “release day.”
I have an excerpt posted on my website if anyone has an interest in reading it.
Also, I’m guest blogging at http://www.romrevtoday.blogspot.com/. One of the interview questions was: “What authors or friends influenced you in helping you become a writer?” I’m gonna be evil and make you go over there to read the response, but I will tell you it was a Plotmonkey. :giggler
Have a fantastic day, everyone. Stay warm!!!
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I’ve seen this before, but it always makes me laugh. I live in Nashville, so we only get snow every once in a while…there is a reason I live where there is very little snow. I love to watch it fall, but no one around here knows how to drive on it.
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Happy Birthday, Melissa….
Since yesterday was a snow day (and we had a tough day around here), I’ll leave you to your imagination about my opinion on snow. I love it when there is no school (ie vacation).
Right now, it is WAY too cold….we’re supposed to have snow again tomorrow. It’s not really our ‘typical’ snow (light, fluffy, gone in a day), this is hard ice like (and because temps are in the 20s wind chill around 0, it’s like ice). We PNWerners complain about all types of weather! LOL!
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And Alannah? CONGRATULATIONS!
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Oh, that’s funny, Les. I’m sure I’ll be feeling the same way after a month of the stuff. More now is expected this week, and Kellie is off of school again today for another snow day. It’s freezing here — 18 degrees. :freezeman
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Alannah — Yes, you’re a big tease, LOL! I honestly think you’re just as special. :hug2:
By the way, I just went over to Samhain to buy your book but it’s still listed as “coming soon”. What’s up with that? I want a copy!!!
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Thanks Katie, Silver and Janelle!!! I was beginning to get a little nervous myself, but they’ve just changed the home page and Reaction Time is listed first! Click away!
And thanks for being so excited for me!!
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:freezin Its -5 today and we have a couple inches of snow here in central MN. I’ll take midwest snow over hurricanes, mudslides, wildfires or earthquakes. I guess it’s just what you’re used to.
Happy Holidays to everyone, and stay warm with a good book.
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Whoo-hoo! It’s up, Alannah! I’ve got my copy of REACTION TIME.
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:freezeman I’m shivering just thinking about all that snow…lol :freezin
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I love that!
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Uhm…may I *squeee* here? I received a preview of my cover art today.
If anyone is interested, I posted it on my blog, Penumbra.
Alannah, so much for after Christmas, huh?
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Leslie, I’d never seen that email. Thank you for sharing. It definitely made my day. I still love snow and don’t think I’ll ever stop. :grin:
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Leslie, that is a funny email about the “snow”!! We have some snow here in our area & down in the bay area on the higher peaks. It is funny because even a dusting of snow is a big deal around here!! The snow level is down to around 1000 ft. with some very cold weather tonight which will make our wet roads icy. So many people around this area have no idea how to drive on icy road. Glad I’m not out there with them!!
:freezin Temperature now is 39!! :freezeman
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What a beautiful cover, Silver! Congratulations!!!
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Janelle – LOL…glad they finally got with the program! ROTFL
Hey, Donna! Thanks!
Silver – that cover is awesome. And isn’t Rae wonderful to work with? She did my website and it was a fantastic experience working with her. Congrats!
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Thanks, ya’ll! :wub: I was hoping Rae would do my cover. I had no idea until I got the email from her. Needless to say, I was squeeing all over the place.
And thanks, Plotmonkeys, for letting us
our own horns here! 
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Silver- what an awesome cover!! I can’t wait to read it.
You too Alannah!:snoopy:
what great Xmas presents for both of you!!!
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:happy2: That was great I am with Ev I will take the snow over hurricanes, tornadoes and raging fires any day, but not where it gets to be below zero that’s way to cold for me brrrrrrreven though we have had only an inch of snow so far, but something is brewing and heading our way tonight I live in Connecticut.
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:freezin :freezin :freezin
Oh this is so funny!
It is almost midnight as i sit here trying to type quietly.
That so reminded me of my hubby and I in Maine.
I am lucky I didn’t wake him with my chuckling!
Thanks for the giggles.