Three little words. So why are they so hard to say? Sometimes, it’s hard because we don’t think we’re wrong. We don’t think they need to be said. We think they’re obvious; so why say the words? I think that “I’m Sorry” is so hard because it forces us to look inside ourselves and admit a few things:
~ we’re not always right
~ we’re not always perfect
~ we’re human
~ we’re fallible
And admitting these things about ourselves hurts. But you know the great thing about I’m Sorry? The way you feel afterwards. Relieved. Unburdened. Happier.
I recently had a reason to use these three words. It came after some huge introspection and guess what? It feels good.
Does the apology have to be accepted for you to feel better? I don’t know. But it I’m guessing that if you can look in the mirror and feel good about yourself, you’ve done something right for yourself.
What’s the purpose of today’s post? I’m not sure. I guess I’m feeling good and encouraging others to do the same.
Happy Thursday! :fourturks
Carly Phillips would like to take 100% credit for all her stories but the truth is, Carly’s strength is writing family, emotion, funky elderly people and animals. She couldn’t plot her way out of a paper bag, which is why she smartly found her plotmonkey pals early on in her writing career. Thanks to their support, Carly is now a NYT Bestselling author of 23 plus novels. Because writing doesn’t keep her busy enough, Carly is also a wife, a mother of one preteen and one teenage daughter, the primary care giver of her soft coated Wheaten terrier and an expert carpool mom.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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I think they are very important words, and some of the hardest to say. We don’t say them enough, or even really mean them.
I’m sorry that I’m not more patient, that I only think of myself most of the time, and that I’m not independently wealthy (okay, only kidding on the last one…sorta). Yes, I do feel better. I’m not going to change overnight, or even by next week, but they say admitting it is the first step *g*
Okay Plotmonkeys & friends, guess what?
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morning fellow jungle members!!
It’s supposed to be :rain and :freezeman here today. I am sorry I have to go to work and can crawl back under the covers. Until spring.
Sometimes saying sorry isn’t hard at all, but when it really counts, then it does make you feel so much better. Even if the injured party doesn’t accept it.
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I’m sorry….three powerful words especially if the person giving them means it and the person on the receiving end accepts it.
I remember this movie from back in the 80′s with Leslie Ann Warren. She played a sculpture artist who wanted to include recordings of anonymous apologies with her exhibit. So she sets up this phone line with an answering machine and posts the number all over the city–I think it was NY–so people could call in and voice their apologies anonymously. Of course, it backfired on her and this psycho killer started calling in and using her to confess and announce his next crime.
I think there was another movie from 2007 called Apology that was more about a college student using sex to control those around her in order to gain security. Haven’t seen it.
Plotmonkeys, you guys are so clever I’m sure there is a BLAZE book in there for you.
Have a great day everyone,
Cher :danmonk
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I’m sorry is sometimes the hardest thing to say. I always feel better once I’ve said I’m sorry, even if the other person doesn’t accept it. It’s :rain and yucky here…I really wish I could go back to bed instead of being at work today.
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When people hear the phrase “three little words”, I think most of us immediately think “I love you.” Those three words are just as hard to say and just as “misused” as “I am sorry.” Yet…how often are those two phrases heard together in almost the same breath? What a profound effect they can have!
Wow, Cher what a great idea for an anthology. “Three Little Words”. I know there are some wonderful love stories to be written on that theme. *raises hand* I wanna write one, please!
I agree. The Plotmonkeys are full of
. I’m sorry I didn’t discover them and their books sooner and I love them all! :grouphug
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Gee Silver, I guess I feel the same way about Trashy Books. I have missed out on so much, but now we get to bounce and find sooo many different things to read. And there by not get anything done at home that I should be doing, insuring that once again I can use those 3 little words too. I’m sorry and I love you!! Good thing my family puts up with me!!
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You know, I actually have the opposite problem with these 3 little words in my house. My husband says them constantly and it’s really gotten to be a source of conflict for us. I think he feels like he’s been such a burden over the past year – especially since he’s still not driving and I have to take him everywhere – that he says it all the time. For everything.
More often than not I’ll stop, turn and look at him and say, “Why are you sorry? Stop apologizing for every little thing.” It drives me crazy. But I think it bugs me so much because he really is sorry and he has no need to be.
When I say “I’m sorry” it’s because I’ve done something that I regret and by saying “I’m sorry” I’m also saying “I won’t do it again.” But tomorrow morning he will need me to drive him to work. I will need to pick him up after work. I will need to take him back in the evening to work visitation and then go back and pick him up at 10:00, or whenever he’s finished. And the constant “I’m sorry” wears me down more than the things I do for him. He doesn’t have any other choice. I don’t mind doing them for him (that was part of the better or worse part of our vows) but his constant apologizing has really gotten to me later.
:giggler bet you never expected someone to say they disliked those 3 little words, did ya?
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alannah- i had the same problem with my hubby when he had his heart attack and the followup surgeries. For months he was home and everytime I had to take him somewhere, or go to an appt, or anything he apologized for it. Especially when we would mall walk for his exercise and he had to stop and rest, or I had to carry the O2 tank. I think with men, it’s because they are supposed to be the support and not the supported. They hate it.
I finally told him if he apologized one more time to me for doing what is essentially part of the job description of marriage, not only would I leave him wherever he was, but was taking the credit card and going shopping.
He smiled and shut up. :love:
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Hugs to you, Alannah and Ev–I agree that “I’m sorry” can be misused, but when they’re truly heartfelt and necessary, they can be very healing. Good for you, Carly!
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Thanks Ev, I’m so glad to know there’s someone else who understands and that it’s not just me. He was so ill acting when the seizures first started and he wasn’t able to drive that I told him if he got ugly with me one more time I wasn’t taking him anywhere. He quit being ugly but then the apologizing started. :doh: Maybe I’ll tell him every time he apologizes I get to buy a book!
Thanks for the hugs Fedora!
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alannah- the book thing just might work- in your favor any way you look at it!!
thanks fedora for the hugs!!
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Carly what an interesting discussion. I do think that some times “I’m sorry” is over used and not really heartfelt. When it is sincere it means a lot.
Alannah & Ev, I admire you for standing by your man through difficult times. It takes strength and commitment. My take is the men keep saying “Im sorry” because they hate having to depend on you so much. Love the idea of you buying a book for each “I’m sorry”!!
Ev, your solution that shut him up was great, love it!! 
:givethaks :gobbler: Yea, Thanksgiving is coming! :sleepturk
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I’m sorry I can’t be here right now. No computer time or reading. Retina problems. I promise I’ll be back as soon as the doctor allows. HUGS to all.
I really miss all of you!
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It really does feel good to apologize for something when you know you did wrong and you just can’t get it out of your own mind. So good for you, Carly!
And Jodie..I’d say I’m Sorry for what you’re dealing with, but I figure you’d throw a cyber brick at me. :jiveturkey:
So how about just…”hang in there!”
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Ev, I so want to go have coffee with you and Alannah some day! Alpha men are stubborn and they !HATE! having to ask for help. They can be such :gobbler: It’s like…I don’t know…like they aren’t *men* anymore. I watch little old couples, especially when the woman drives. The man always looks sad and defeated.
And don’t even get me started on more fit men deferring the driving to their wives or girlfriends. What’s up with that?
I do agree that “I’m sorry” has almost become a throwaway phrase. When said sincerely, those words are such a balm to hurt feelings and troubled souls.
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Silver- coffee sounds great!!
It’s funny you mention the driving- almost exclusively the women in our family do the driving, no matter how “fit” the guys are. One son hates to drive, one never even got his license, the other is single so he has to do his own and I always do the night driving. Our oldest daughter does the driving, unless we are involved, in which case NO ONE wants to drive with her!! LOL
My neighbor is 86 and gave his license up a few years ago. Now he likes to say that it is becuase he likes to be chaperoned around by pretty girls. He forgets he can’t see any of us though!! He’s too funny.
Hubby hates it when I insist on driving. His sight at night sucks too, so I don’t give him much choice.
and yes, Alpha guys are :jiveturkey:!!
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:happy2: Leslie, thanks! Someone asked me the other day how I was doing and I told him I really am doing fine. I haven’t minded any of the things I’ve had to do and at times I’ve been so in awe of his strength and courage that I’ve felt it was a true honor to care for him.
And the driving thing is a pain, but it can’t be changed right now…not until the doctor’s give him clearance to drive again. Just last week I ended up waiting outside his office for almost 2 hours for lunch (it was 3:45 before he finished with a family and was able to go). I was cranky (and hungry), he was definitely cranky and hungry. But it wasn’t his fault, it’s just the way it was. Fortunately, he was cranky enough that he didn’t feel like saying I’m sorry. :giggler
And, Silver, you’re so right about them hating to ask for help. A couple of times I’ve said to him, “If something happened to me, would you mind helping take care of me?” Of course his answer was no, but it didn’t seem to make him feel any better about me helping him.
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I understand about the overused I’m sorry. I really do!
I guess what was on my mind was the much needed I’m sorry!
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The much needed I’m sorry is definitely something that can make you feel better, but often gets overlooked. That phrase is one of the most powerful in the English language. Thanks for bringing it up at this time of year as I think it goes along nicely with the idea of giving thanks.
Two more weeks until :yumturk
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I’d do the group hug thing, but that emoticon was broken earlier. In my family, the men are all chest-thumpy about driving. I’m usually white-knuckled by the time we get where we’re going.
Mine is 70% disability-rated through VA. Should probably be 100%, though he can still work. His brain is fine, it’s the body that’s broken. He should be on a cane but he’s too stubborn. He falls a lot. I pack ice on the bruises and bite my tongue.
Carly, that much needed “I’m sorry” is all important. It’s the jewel amidst the spam of everyday life. Good for you!
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Silver- he can get 100% VA disability and still work. Mine does. I’d have to hurt him if he were underfoot all day, every day.
I do the white knuckle, suicide bar thing when he drives too.
to get off the poor men- kids over use I’m sorry to the point where you can’t ever believe them when they do say it.
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And poor Carly is probably sorry she started this whole thing.
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Ev, I was thinking the same thing. Carly, I definitely agree that it’s very healing to say when I’ve done something I feel bad about. It’s cathartic and a much needed phrase. I didn’t mean to get it twisted around.
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Carly, I could never hold back how sorry I am for anything cuz I too know how hard it is to not resolve something. Hardest is if they don’t accept our apologies, thats tough one for me. Hugs too!