Am I the only person in the universe who doesn’t think undeserved humiliation is funny?
So, yesterday, I’m spending a little down time catching up on my tivo’d episodes of The Starter Wife, which is a miniseries turned into a series starring Debra Messing and based on the novel by
Gigi Levangie Grazer. In one of the scenes (actually, in many of the scenes,) the main character, Molly, is subjected to humiliation after humiliation because her powerful executive husband decided to divorce her and trade her in for a younger model. She becomes persona non grata in Hollywood and is shunned even my restaurant hostesses.
I have so much trouble watching Molly be insulted and demeaned by people who consider themselves better than her simply because they are still a “Wife Of.” If Molly had been a horrible person who had treated people horribly during her time as a “preferred” Hollywood wife, then her “learning her lesson” might have been compelling to watch. Instead, it was just painful. I found myself fast forwarding through a lot of it–I got the point the first time.
(BTW, I still love the series because I love Messing and her co-stars are fantabulous, too. It’s really a great series. It just brought up an issue I thought I’d blog about!)
I realize that I do that quite a bit…skip through scenes on television or movies (or change the channel) when a character is subjected to much cruelty for no other than reason than to beat them down…usually, when they’re already on the ground to begin with.
It makes me wonder if I’m just too sensitive. Because I am. I can’t stand to watch or otherwise witness humiliating behavior. If a character is making a fool of themselves, I can’t watch. I don’t even watch the American Idol try-outs because I’m so deeply embarrassed for the people who go out there really believing they are good. (I’m not talking about the characters who do this on purpose…but there are some that you know no one had the heart to say, ‘please, honey…don’t!’)
I do not recall being humiliated excessively in my youth. I don’t think my reaction comes from some repressed memory, LOL. But it really, really bugs me.
So what about you? What emotion makes you really uncomfortable when you’re watching television, reading a book or watching a movie? I really think humiliation is the one that gets me most.
By all reports, Julie Leto was a sweet child once, somewhat shy, preferring to play quietly in her room making up stories. However, being raised with three brothers in a loud, primarily Italian household did have its influences and Julie discovered her inner tough girl. That’s probably why most of her heroines kick serious butt. Writing sassy heroines has worked out, as she’s sold over forty books to four publishers featuring strong, confident women. Julie lives in Florida with her daughter, a spoiled dachshund, a haughty lynx-point Siamese and a wide range of relatives all within driving distance.
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I tend to agree with you. I would probably watch it if it were a great show (don’t watch much t.v.) and it was done in a more amusing way so as not to come across to hurtful, but the whole idea makes me cringe.
I was one of those kids who didn’t have friends in elementary school until probably the 5th or 6th grade, so I know a little of how that feels. My life is obviously much, much different now but I remember what it was liked to be shunned just because I was the ugly kid, like when my mom would curl my really short hair and I looked like a little old lady LOL. Rather humiliating at the time, kinda funny now. Thank God we grow up and can fix our own hair *g*
The thing is, I think with the media and people’s perceptions of perfection and how easy it is to turn on someone in an instant, this behavior is way more common than I feel comfortable with. People love to watch others being humiliated. Look at some of the reality t.v. shows out there. Maybe I’m overly sensitive myself, but I just can’t watch something where people are made fun of. I’d rather laugh because something is really funny and it doesn’t hurt someone else.
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No, you’re not the only one, I’m right there with you! I don’t watch any of the Idol stuff for the same reasons. My MIL has often criticized me for being too sensitive, because like you I just don’t see the humor in laughing at someone else’s misfortune. Many times at the dinner table, they’ll be sitting around gossiping about someone in town, laughing about it and I’m left sitting there trying to figure out how they can find any humor in this situation.
It’s taken me a while, but I’ve decided I’m just fine the way I am!
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I don’t watch Idol until they get to the top 12 because I don’t want to see all those people humiliated on national television. Usually most of the top 12 can sing, so I will watch them, but I just feel sorry for all the people they put on the audition shows just to humiliate them. I really makes me even more angry for all those people that can really sing that don’t get the airtime because Fox it going for ratings.
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I agree, seeing someone humiliated when their heart is already panting on the floor brings out the mad in me. A bully going after a small, defenseless kid, a man treating his wife or girlfriend like dirt. A mother spanking her child for having an accident while the child says I’m sorry over and over. Oh God! And I won’t even get into animals.
So yes, humiliation is the worst and so unnecessary. People in general need a lesson in compassion and good old fashioned kindness.
Okay, I’ll get off my soap box now
Cher
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OK, I had to come back and post that I’m a hypocrit!
I started doing Hump Day Humor on my blog and as I was typing the setup for the video I thought, “OMG, I’m doing exactly what I said I don’t like over on Plotmonkeys.” But….But!…I’m hoping the guy agreed to have it put on YouTube, and that makes it okay to laugh at.
OK, just had to come clean…..
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I don’t watch the Idol tryouts because I think it is just mean (don’t even get me started about the time that a young man with autism was made fun of by the panel).
I am glad I didn’t record “The Starter Wife”. I enjoyed the book and then the miniseries, but I don’t think I would have enjoyed the rest. Thanks for the ‘heads up’ Julie (I think this is Julie).
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I’m with you — I don’t see any humor in someone else’s discomfort, which is why I’ve never liked practical jokes. Mean-spirited humor just doesn’t do it for me. I don’t like nasty comedians either — I’m much more appreciative of self-depricating wit. Give me a Rodney Dangerfield joke any day. Or Ellen DeGeneres, when she hosted the Oscars a few years ago and tried to peddle her script to a director in the audience (I think it was Martin Scorcese). Now THAT was funny.
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I fast forward through a lot of parts like that too and I can’t watch the American Idol tryouts either. Nope, I don’t think it’s any repressed memory on my part either. I just don’t care for it.
Besides humiliation, I really hate it when one of the heroines (in books, movies, or TV) throws themselves at a guy’s head… especially if she is rebuffed. Totally cringeworthy. Oh and I’m not too wild about tearful break-ups either.
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Humiliation comes much too close to degradation in my book. And the rampant hypocrisy (NO, I am NOT looking at you, Alanah, lol) just goes all over my last nerve. *You* (generic personhood) may not agree with Gov. Palin’s stand on various issues but the things written, posted, said, etc. about her with no outcry from women makes me want to :cursing:. That Hollywood thinks it is entertaining to skewer Messing’s character by humiliating them?
FYI, I feel the same when a male character is skewered, too. Could be why I tend not to watch so-called comedies.
Of course, I’m an old fuddyduddy and most of what passes for humor these days leaves me standing there going “HUH??!” :scratch3:
Alanah, while I think Jackass is beyond stupid, those idiots at least asked for it. I’m like you. If you are intent on humiliating yourself by putting it on YouTube, you get what you ask for. And self-stupidity can be giggle worthy.
Kudos to whichever :monkey posted this topic. My RSS feed isn’t showing an icon or signature this morning.
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Silver, it’s me, Julie! I forgot to click the little box that puts up my Monkey! I hate the new WordPress…this is now at the bottom where it used to be on the side and I miss it!
I agree that if you do something stupid on purpose just to bring attention to yourself (like posting your embarrassment on YouTube!) then you’re fair game. But remember that YouTube video of the pageant girl who did this awful routine to Star Wars or something? I found that painful to watch because I knew she was really trying hard and she was really awful and ow, ow, ow!
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:giggle: Hey, Julie! Yeah. The new WordPress edition I’m using ate my icons and I have to switch between visual and html views to get links posted correctly. Of course, I’m technically challenged.
*nods* Yup, that would be me.
And you’re right about YouTube. I always remember the poor Junior Miss contestant and her interview question about geography. That was just “OW!?!” And it was played ad nauseum on regular media, too. I felt so sorry for her. I haven’t quite figured out what defective gene there is in human DNA that makes us want to watch the “trainwrecks” in someone else’s life. Maybe it’s so we can pat ourselves on the back for not being that stupid.
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The video that I put on my blog today is The Bachelor Party Ride home. The groom-to-be is asleep and all of his buddies start yelling, like something is wrong. They slow his reaction down and the look on his face is priceless. So, he’s not really trying hard to do anything, except sleep. And it is relatively harmless, except to the sandwich he has in his hand. But it does make me laugh (really hard) every time I see it.
And like I said earlier, it’s been on YouTube for 2 years so I’m hoping he agreed to it being put on there.
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I agree. The humiliation makes me cringe.
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OMIGOD I’m exactly the same. I hate to see people humiliated–even on television shows–I love my DVR now so that I can fast forward but as a child I would change the channel. I know it isn’t real but I just hate it! I was never humiliated as a child and my mother swears that I’ve always been that way. Maybe it’s just a personality trait?
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Rachel, I don’t think I was ever humiliated as a child either and I’ve always been this way. I even knew better than to laugh at other kids in school if something happened to them. To this very day, I still remember the kid who peed his pants in fourth grade and I remember his humiliation as if it were my own. I think it is a personality trait. There’s no other explanation!
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Yeah, I’m with you. I always look at the intentional humiliation of another person as an extreme form of bullying. Someone pretty shallow needing to prove their own self worth by putting someone else down. And it is hard to stomach, even in fiction.
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I am glad to see I am not the only one. I was thinking about this the other day. I had left the room when some show was on, I can’t remember what it was, and the family paused it! I came back and said, no, really, just keep it going……I realized that sometimes when a character in a movie or show is hurting emotionally or embarrassing for themI leave because it bothers me…
It is what keeps me from watching reality television.
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I cringe during any humiliating scene. For example, Bridge Jones’ Diary was hard in parts for me.
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I like this show, too! I watched the mini-series and then missed about an hr’s worth of the season premiere. What happened to Sam?