I have a dog and two cats, and they all keep life interesting around my house, in their own ways. They each have their own distinct quirks and personalities, but there are just some things that truly separate who and what cats are (those of you who have cats know what I’m talking about!) compared to the easy-going, I-want-to-please-you personality of most dogs. I came across this humorous run-down of how to give a cat a pill, and how to give a dog a pill. The results couldn’t be more true, and I hope you all laugh as much as I did while reading this.
How to give the cat a pill 
Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. :doh: Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail :wallbash: and get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. :cursing:
Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. 
Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. 
Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. 
How to give the dog a pill :doggie:
Wrap it in bacon. :happy2:
If you’re a dog and cat owner, what other differences stand out to you?
Janelle Denison finds it hard to believe that it’s been nearly 25 years since she first started writing romance novels. At first, it was a way to pass idle time while her husband worked swing shift, but before long it became an obsession to get published. Luckily, she kept at it (it took her over 5 years to get that first book published!) and is now a Waldenbooks, Barnes & Noble, and USA Today Bestselling author! Now, after selling over 45 plus novels, she finds that her Plotmonkey pals help to keep her stories fresh and unique, and she can’t imagine writing a story without their input. Janelle lives in Oregon with her husband, Don, along with two teenage daughters that keep life interesting.
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I’ve also had both, and found this quite amusing *g*.
One of the biggest, most obvious differences in the pets I’ve had is the whole affection thing. Cats, for the most part, will “let” you pet them until they are ready to stop being affectionate, then that’s it – they’re done, while dogs will follow you around to be petted until the end of time – at least this has been my experience. I don’t know, maybe I’ve just had very moody cats.
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My dog seems to always want to please me and be around me while my cat wants me to please her and be around when she wants only.
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:happy2:
I have 4 cats and this is a very good example of my life. The husband and I always work as a team on this, past experiences have taught me I can’t do it alone. I really have gone through almost the whole prescription trying to get one dose in the cat. The time I was trying to give the cat an insulin shot and shot it in my leg was pretty scarey. No stitches yet, but plenty of scars.
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Janelle, this was hilarious, though I’d substitute bacon for peanut butter!
I remember my Kitty so well…she was the quintessential cat–a Persian, who really do consider themselves a breed above all other cats–heck, all humans, too. I thought the superiority complex thing was just a rumor, but it is NOT. She was so funny and I miss her terribly.
Lady, also being pure-bred, is much more persnickity than my previous dog, but she’s still a dog, that’s for sure!
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For my dogs, it’s CHEESE! You can wrap anything in cheese and my three dachshunds will fight over it!
Good stuff, Janelle! Thanks for the laugh!
Lara
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Lara- Cheese is it. I give mine his thyroid pill twice a day that way. Thankfully, the doxie doesn’t need any meds, but as fat as she is, I begin to wonder.
If you so much as look out the corner of your eye at the big dog:doggie:, he is over to be petted. He comes out of hiding 15 times a day to be petted, kissed, hugged and loved. The doxie just barks when he does that. She is too lazy to get off her couch and pillows to toddle over.
The cats are another story. One could care less about the dogs and only wants to be petted when you are anywhere near the door (escape plan). He usually just bangs into your legs to try and knock you over. All 20 pounds of him. The little one doesn’t like the doxie so she slinks around and hides in the kids room.:cat: Although she is getting braver about coming out of hiding. She loves the big dog and will cuddle with him on the bed.
I do not live in a house, I run a zoo.:devil:
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:happy2:
That was too funny. If you think about it the differences in cats and dogs are like the differences in men and women…..
I have been away from the computer since the 20. Only because I am technologically challenged and have not set up my (ahem) new (since March) internet provider hardware at home.
I have loved re-reading writer and reader posts this morning. Thank you all for having this on your daily to-do.
I consider you all a friend and feel so blessed to have you.
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LOL, Janelle.
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Very funny! I have had both dogs & cats! One of our cats decided I might be okay since I was the one that usually fed her!!! :)
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Too funny! My college buddy and I were just talking about this! See, way back when we were in Comp 101 I passed with an A+…Wiz, didn’t do so hot. He barely passed. It still makes him angry to this day because one of our final papers was to pick two similar-but-different things and compare and contrast them. I picked my dog and cat, we don’t remember what Wiz chose, but it still makes him mad that I got 100% on a paper about a three-legged cat and a grossly overweight black lab! Hmmm…I’ll have to look for that paper when I get home, both pets are gone now :cry: so it would be great to have for scrapping.
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Oh that is great! My hubby and I were rolling on the floor.
Thanks Janelle!
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:happy2:
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That was so true, and so funny at the same time as long as it is not yourself trying to give the cat a pill. Dogs are so much easier to feed pills to…………although sometimes my dog used to be able to swallow everything but the pill and spit it back……….. :happy2:
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I have two cats and two dogs and the pill analogy holds true, though we use peanut butter. There isn’t much that’s more fun than giving the dog a glob of peanut butter for any reason, guaranteed hysterics (better if you can get it on the roof of their mouth or put a little on their nose). We haven’t given the cats PB yet…there’s a thought for a boring moment….
Sam
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A dog comes when you call!
A cat takes a message and gets back to you!
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Whoever thought this up is definitely right!
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I long ago gave up on cats and dogs and stuck with turtles, but this was hilarious and brought back some great memories.
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Omigod that cracked me up! I don’t have a dog, but I have two cats and trying to give them anything except Pounce is a challenge.
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Although it is quite hard to get a cat to take medicine whether it is in liquid or a pill. It must be done with two or more people. Cats are so much easier to take care of and are often quite more cuddly than a dog. I have never owned a dog, but my roomate had agreed to watch a dog for his friend, so it has been at my house for almost a week and has already dug a hole in my backyard, and gotten into everything imaginable. With a cat you don’t have to worry about leaving it home alone, plus you never have to take it outside to use the bathroom. I just love cats what can I saw. Dogs may be cute and playful, but I would rather have my cat cuddle with me and follow me around the house like she does all the time. I applaud everyone for taking care of dogs and am glad that they appreciate them. I would rather babysit a dog than have one of my own.
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I agree dogs are a lot of work almost like taking care of kids! But, dogs are so affectionate! They look at you with those big eyes, and stare at you like they adore you. My mom has a minature Dachsund named, Mickey, he is all black with a little bit of brown but is adorable and so smart! He can do all sorts of tricks. Oh boy, is it ever easy to give Mickey his medicine. Just wrap it in cheese, meat, a dog treat, and chomp, it’s gone!
Now cats are different. My friend has had a lot of cats over the years and they were always so independent. They will lay on your lap for just a little while and off they go to sit in the window! Try to tell your cat to stay, sit, get down, etc. and they look at you like, “What? Me?”. Also, Dona tried giving her cat a treat and the cat looked at her with a look that said, “I am not hungry, so I am leaving”, which it did. I can see how difficult it would be to give a cat medicine.
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Lara, I have four dachshunds…or as we call them, the dash-hounds! They will consume anything wrapped in cheese, also. But then again, doxies will pretty much eat anything..at least mine do. :doggie:
The cat is a different story altogether. It is much harder to trick her into
eating something she doesn’t want. Luckily she is pretty healthy.
What I don’t understand is how she will consume 3/4 of a field mouse (leaving the rest on the front porch as a love offering for us), but will refuse to eat a piece of cooked turkey will a pill wrapped in it.
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I have a Black Lab who doesn’t know he’s a D-O-G. He has his own La-Z-Boy recliner, LOVES bubble baths and runs at warp speed whenever he hears cellophane coming off any food product. He actually looks for a to-go container when we walk in the door. He’s a rescue dog of sorts…we “rescued” him from a gas station that some person dropped him off at in the middle of the night. Seven years later, he’s a productive member of the family…he makes sure that the La-Z-Boy doesn’t float around the living room! He takes his pills hidden in an Oscar Mayer, and it works every time.