I blogged over at my Marisela blog this week that when I go to a party and people find out I am a writer, I can get many responses. Most people–the vast majority–think it’s cool and ask me innocent questions like, “where do you get your ideas” and “is your husband your inspiration.” A sense of humor comes in handy for these. 
Sometimes, people look down their nose at me and declare, “I don’t read THOSE books” or proceed to try and get me to write their life story, because it’s so much more interesting than anything I can make up. But honestly, those experiences are few and far between.
What I’ve realized, however, after having this discussion with several intelligent, thoughtful, insightful women and men who happen to not be writers is that writers are a rare breed. We think differently. We witness events in a completely odd way–odd to the non-writer world, anyway.
And it’s not always a good thing.
Sunday night, we went to a party for a friend’s son. He’d has his Bar Mitzvah on Saturday, which I couldn’t attend because of my booksigning.
Here’s a picture of Diana Peterfreund and me at the signing. Don’t we look cute?
The party was great and the hostess went above and beyond to make sure all the children in attendance were in the room with the adults (ie, supervised) but had their own games to play. She had video games, electronic basketball, air hockey, etc, all of which my daughter loved. But what really fascinated her was the balloon guy.
You know the type–takes the skinny balloons and crafts them into all sorts of characters. Well, this guy was amazing, I must say.
Look at this Spongebob. Who makes a balloon square? I was very impressed.
And instantly worried. Because, you know, I’m a writer and worse case scenarios are my bread and butter.
“Man, Alyssa is glued to the balloon guy,” my husband observes innocently from across the room.
I had my back to her (big mistake) so I turn. I watch for five minutes. My daughter is riveted. She’s surrounded by other children, but riveted nonetheless.
“Did you remind her not to leave the ballroom? With anyone? Like the balloon guy?” I ask my husband.
He looks at me funny. He does this a lot, because after 15 years, he knows where this is going.
“Go check on her,” he advises.
As if I needed his permission.
Because, you see, I realize that my riveted child would be very likely to leave the room if this unknown balloon guy said something along the lines of, “Do you want me to show you how I do this?”
I’m not saying anything against the guy. He looked perfectly harmless, but all child molesters do, right? I mean, I don’t know him. He’s not anyone I’ve met before or who has been vetted by the very nosy Leto side of the family (who, by the way, knows about everyone in this town. I may not know you, but someone related to me does. Trust me.)
So instead of eating my salad with the adults, I go hang out with the balloon guy. We talk. Well, I interview. He responds. Oh, it all looks like harmless chit-chat, but I’m a suspicious, overprotective mom and quite frankly, this guy seemed sharp enough to pop one of his balloons. He probably knew I was totally checking him out and recording all of his physical attributes to give a very good description to the police. If necessary.
Shortly thereafter, I decide he’s okay…but I remind my daughter that even if someone offers to make her a balloon Thomas the Tankengine (she reverts every so often), she is NOT to leave the ballroom or go anywhere with anyone under any circumstances. Even if someone says I’m dying in the other room. She only leaves with Daddy or me. End. Of. Story.
What does this have to do with writing?
Worst Case Scenarios.
My life is one after the other. My non-writing friends have come to accept this about me. When they share an innocent story about how the gate to the school was left open, I fill it in with the tale of a serial rapist who slips inside and takes a class hostage. When they mention that there was a weird car blocking the roundabout in front of the school, I paint the picture of a divorced father who lost custody staking out the place to swipe his child. I get the license plate number.
It’s a curse.
It makes me very cautious. It makes my non-writer friends VERY glad not to be writers with overly active, vivid imaginations. It drives my husband insane. Another conversation we had this weekend.
“I don’t understand how knowing precisely where I’m riding is important,” he says.
He rides a Harley. This is NOT the best pasttime for a man married to a consummate worrier, but we all have our crosses to bear.
“Well, if you say you’re coming home at six and it’s ten and you’re not home, I’ll know where to tell the police where to start looking.”
“If I crashed, they’ll just check my wallet.”
“No, the passersby who slowed down long enough to steal your credits cards and cash will have relieved you of that. Your Blackberry, too, so no reverse 911.”
“They’ll check the VIN number on my bike.”
That one stumped me. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll figure out why that isn’t good enough.”
He just laughed…and told me his riding itinerary for the next day.
So, the point of this rambling…I’m sure not all writers are worry warts, but I think if you did a nationwide comparison or regular female folk to writer female folk, the percentages would be skewed. We make our living throwing characters into worse case scenarios and imagining some of the most horrific stuff for our character’s backstories…it only stands to reason that there is some spillover to real life.
So, are you are worrier? Do you think of all the horrible things that can happen every time you are in a new situation?
Or is it just me?
It’s probably just me.
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By all reports, Julie Leto was a sweet child once, somewhat shy, preferring to play quietly in her room making up stories. However, being raised with three brothers in a loud, primarily Italian household did have its influences and Julie discovered her inner tough girl. That’s probably why most of her heroines kick serious butt. Writing sassy heroines has worked out, as she’s sold over forty books to four publishers featuring strong, confident women. Julie lives in Florida with her daughter, a spoiled dachshund, a haughty lynx-point Siamese and a wide range of relatives all within driving distance.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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I love you. You’re crazy.
Actually my old critique partner was the exact same way. Hubby late? He’s lying in a ditch. Things like that.
I’m not sane. But I’m don’t end up laying what if – unless I’m stuck on writing!
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I’m not a writer, and I’m not plagued by “worst case scenario-itis” either, thank God. My mom was like that and it was a bit frustrating, to say the least. It’s like “I love you dearly mother, but let go!” LOL.
Yours I think is based on your creative nature, and you have an outlet for that. Besides, I think knowing all the info about where your kids & dh are is promoting good karma – kinda like having the umbrella and it doesn’t end up raining after all :)
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Julie, I am absolutely right there with you, sister! I do this ALL the time and I know it drives my family nuts. But they are so used to it, I guess they have learned to deal with it. Hubby is actually very considerate right up front because he knows what I’ll do to myself if he’s very late or hasn’t called when he says he’s going to.
Having lost my mom in a car accident, I have just developed the attitude that awful things DO happen and in my case, they have, and there’s absolutely nothing that says they won’t happen again.
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My husband is the worrier. I think it comes from the same stream as your’s Julie, he’s a funeral director, he knows what freak things can happen and so he worries about everything! I mean everything!! :wallbash:
I have a few of those tendencies, but if I acted on them, our children would never leave a padded room. So, for their sakes, I try to ignore my fears and just let hubby worry for all of us. And he’s great at it!!!
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Julie,
It’s just not you! My non-writer friends call my overactive imagination the glass half-empty view on things.:wallbash: The balloon is awesome but you can never be too careful!
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So, I’m a worrier too! But, I tend to keep alot of issues to myself. My friends were starting to look at me funny!! So now I try to take control of the situation before it takes control of me. Oh, I’m not a writer, just a reader.
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Forgot to tell you…I’m loving The Domino Effect!!!:thumbsup2:
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I’m the same way, Julie. My life is filled with worrying and an overactive imagination. Which might be great for writing but sucks when it comes to life in general–it’s not fun to be worried all the time. This week the overactive imagination has me concerned that the new neighbors two doors down are vampires :bat: (they’re probably selling drugs). I’m sure just having read Nora’s new book MORRIGAN’S CROSS has in no way contributed to my belief that these folks are vamps.
Yeah, right. In any event, ::something:: is going on down there; there have been 5 to 6 cars there everyday for 3 weeks (almost all out of state license plates), I see no one and the cars only rarely leave, and the lights are on all night but interestingly all go off right around dawn. Lest think I’m a nosy neighbor, I have a puppy 
and she needs to go out A LOT, and there’s not a lot to do when you’re waiting for the dog except look around. I am seriously considering putting my cross necklace on before I walk the dog in the early morning hours. 
:) See overactive imagination. If there was some way to turn it on for writing and turn it off for life that would be great. Until then I’ll probably continue to worry and make up ridiculous worst case scenarios.
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Julie, It’s not just you….geez, I worry a LOT. It helps with nervous energy, sometimes I go in spurts and get A LOT done. I always think the worst and hope for the best.
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I guess this afflicts writers and non-writers alike! Maybe we can start a support group…Worriers Anonymous.
I know I inherited this from my grandmother, who was a world-class worrier. I learned from the best, I guess.
Kelly, I think I’d be taking pictures with my cell phone camera AND maybe having a garlic bagel every morning before you walk the dog, LOL!
It’s nice to not be alone in my neuroses!
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Julie, I am the same way. I am a legal secretary and I have heard some horrific stories. I am so overprotective of my children, that my friends tease me relentlessly. I try to explain to them that once you have heard some of the stories that I have, you suspect everyone.
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Oh, I’m so with you on the worrying aspect; I can imagine all kinds of things when dh is late. I stew over them and worry, worry!!!
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Hey Guys just an FYI:
did you know about these September monthly observances?
Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month
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I’m the “worry wart” in our family. I always think the worst has happened when someone in the family is out and is not under my watchful eye. When I hear sirens in the night and my daughters are out, I just hold my breath. Being in the medical field doesn’t make it any easier I think that it fuels my worries even more. Talk about MOM stress.
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how cute. i am the worry person in the family. sometimes i don’t like that.
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Julie,
It is like you have an inside track to my brain. For years my family has believed I am mental becasue of this same affliction. Now I can use your blog as a reference to my sanity, (or lack thereof). I remember being in junior high school, with the worst case scenarios while my folks were out of town.
However, if this is the power behind your greatness–do not try to change…Beacause we all adore your imagination.
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Julie I am the same way with my son
The first time he rode his bike around the block (my hubby siad he cld without telling me) I freaked out.
He is 12 and I still tell him make sure you tell me when you come back.
He was making me nervous one dya when he went to the corner store and I called him on his cell and said what is taking you so long
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Oh yes, I am definately the worrier. And my mind does come up with the bizarre worst case scenarios. Just ask the poor girl flying all the way from Japan to Massachusetts who got stuck sitting next to me on a flight. We hit a bit of bad turbulence and a lightening storm. Now let your imagination figure out what I did!!
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I am not a worrier. I believe it an drive you crazy with “what if’s”.
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I am not that much a worrier, but my Mom worries enough for both of us…..She can think up all kinds of things that could go wrong, what can go wrong, etc.
Julie this reminded me so much of what I go through with her………:thumbsup2:
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Oh it so runs in our family. Both my mom and dad. I hardly ever sleep because I can’t til everyone is home. And my husband is the total opposite and doesn’t cooperate and in fact does the opposite. He can’t stand to be asked when and where and what time. But since my parents didn’t let us do anything, I do allow my kids to do most things (but of course I worry myself to death). I wish there was a cure. I know it doesn’t prevent most things. You would think being a writer you could get it out of your system but I guess not :wallbash:
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It’s not just you I’m the exact same way, it drives my husband CRAZY! :wallbash: He doesn’t understand my need to know where he’s going and when he’ll be home. He also doesn’t understand why I get 30 different kinds of angry when he doesn’t bother to call (how hard is it?) to tell me he’s running late, even if it’s 4:00 in the morning.
I thought I was the only one who went through the dead in the ditch scene every time he’s late. My poor kids, if they only knew what they were in for . . .:doh:
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Julie, I had to laugh when I got the mail today…in it, a list of things to have prepared in case of a pandemic. I am a believer in being prepared (it helps calm my worry). What timing!
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1. No, Julie, it is so not just you. I’m a Worst-Case-Scenario person too! And my husband doesn’t get it either!
2. When I mention at parties that I’m a writer and I have a book coming out, I usually get one of these reactions:
a) (if it’s someone I know, but don’t know well): is it a children’s book?–nine times out of ten, they assume it’s a kids book. I quickly set them straight.
b) I’ve been wanting to write a book. How did you do it? or some variation on the theme. (I’m sure you get that too.)
c) or they think it’s cool and ask questions like, “oh, do I get a signed copy of your book?”
3) I’m halfway through Dirty Little Secrets and I am so loving it! Great plot; has me totally hooked. If there aren’t any more Marisela books, I’m going to be royally po’ed.
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My husband and I both worry about our kids whenever they are away. Both sons and daughter. It’s just part of parenting. There are way to many sickos out there.
One of our sons had a serious bike accident, no helmet ( he had one … he just didn’t want to wear it!), he had a bad concussion/skull fracture with bleeding from his nose and ear, throwing up etc… Luckily, he’s OK now… but, you just never know when an accident will happen.
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I admit I’m a worse case scenario person, and I know that i drive people :bat: ….after 17 years with DH, he still does’t get it. But i have found a way to turn the tables….when I go to the store, or to the company office(it’s a 2 and a half hour drive away), I just politely ‘forget’ to call when I’m leaving. Oh I call my best friend so that SOMEONE knows where I am, but I just want him to experience what I go through on a daily basis. His job requires him to sometimes pick up very large deposits-mostly cash-and with car accidents, car jackings, armed robbery, ect., he still doesn’t understand why I worry…go figure.:wallbash: