Okay, last week’s RWA signings were wonderful…conference booksignings usually are. But the in-store ones? Another story altogether.
Below are some comments I have gotten when doing signings…which convinced me to just give them up. (Mostly)
10. “Where’s the bathroom?”
9. “I bought this book as a gift and I need to return it but I don’t have my receipt…you mean, you don’t work here?” Annoyed look. “Oh.” Saunters off.
8. “Are you signing those because that’s you on the cover?” 
(seriously got this from someone when signing Night Whispers!)
7. “I don’t read those books.”
6. “Anybody can write those, right? Don’t they give you a formula or something?”
5. “I love trashy romances! But I only ever buy them in used book stores.”
4. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to have that kind of cover right in the front of the store where children can see it.”
3. “I’ve been meaning to write a book sometime.”
2. “I’ve got a real-life story that would make a great book. How about I tell it to you, you write it, and we split the money?”
and the number one comment that made Leslie want to give up booksignings forever…
1. “Ever need any help with your…” (picture bushy gray men’s eyebrows bobbing up and down…) “…research?”
Yes. Eww.
So tell me, please, WHY I agreed to do a booksigning this week? I must be out of my mind.
But it could be because I’m not doing it alone, I’m doing one with some fun and fabulous authors–my incredibly talented buddy Roxanne St. Claire, who writes edge-of-your-seat romantic suspense, Rachel Hauck, who writes warm-hearted inspirational romance, and Karen Hawkins, who writes hysterical historicals! B&N has ordered in all of my HQN single title releases, so I will be signing more than just HERE COMES TROUBLE–just in case you missed the Walker brothers books. :)
So, if you’re anywhere near Melbourne, Florida, and you want to come by to make some OTHER comment than any of the ones listed above, please stop in! It’s at the Barnes & Noble, 1955 W. New Haven Avenue (Rt. 192) Melbourne, FL, (321) 726-9505.
7-9pm, Friday, August 11.
And if you can’t come, please just wish me luck, okay? Because I swear, one of these days, I’m just going to stand up and start telling people where the bathroom is or asking them if they have a receipt for the book they want to return.
Leslie Kelly used to say she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up, but then she discovered Nancy Drew books. Being a flashlight-under-the-covers-nose-in-book reader throughout her childhood, she couldn’t think of anything else she’d rather do as an adult than continue to lose herself in fictional stories. Her real life marriage of 20 years to the man of her dreams is a constant reinforcement that happily-ever-afters really can happen…and that they’re worth writing about. Living in Maryland, Leslie spends her non-writing time laughing a lot with the above-mentioned romance hero and their three daughters. Though an author of more than thirty sexy, contemporary comedies, she has recently branched out to write dark romantic suspense under the pseudonym Leslie Parrish.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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Well sorry Leslie, I can’t make it, but I do wish you tons of luck, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you don’t get asked any of the questions on your top ten list…especially #1! Ewwwww is right LOL. Although # 8 is pretty flattering. I actually have that book too.
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Hopefully this book signining will go better than the others! Atleast this time you have friends with you, so you will not be alone in this. Anyways I wish you luck this week and at every book signing you do.
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When is the booksigning! I’m thinking road trip! Since i’m in Tampa it should be a fun drive.
I actually got to me Julie and Roxanne St. Claire at a booksigning in Tampa on Saturday! YEAH!!:cooldance:
Roxanne was great. I hadn’t read any of her books as of yet, so she gave me a copy of her new Desire book! Can’t wait to read it. She was telling me all about the HQN Nascar series coming out! I can’t wait!
and of course JULIE was Awesome! – Thanks again for the card holder
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I hope your booksigning goes much better than those in the past. And if anyone asks you the annoying bathroom question, point them in the opposite direction of the bathroom. :happy2:
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Good luck, Leslie. I’m certain you’ll do terrific on Fri. I can’t imagine anyone actually saying those thoughtless comments, but, I’m always amazed at how many people devalue Romances, especially those that have never read EVEN ONE. However, numbers still prevail, & we still buy almost 55% of the MM fiction PBs sold & 39% of all fiction, which equals $1.2 billion. Not too shabby!
Patricia A.
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The booksigning I did Saturday was FABULOUS. I know I sold at least 21 copies of THE DOMINO EFFECT, plus a smattering of backlist titles, including A FARE TO REMEMBER. I signed with Karen Rose, Roxanne St. Claire, Kimberly Llewellyn, Jeanie London and Susan Kearney. Of course, the fact that the members of TARA (Tampa Area Romance Authors) came out in full force made a HUGE difference. I didn’t sign a single book for anyone I didn’t know.
Which is nice!
And meeting TRICIA was even nicer!!! Thanks again for coming…she and Vicki, both regular Plotmonkey readers/posters, made the event especially enjoyable!
Les, I hope you guys have a fabulous turnout and that no one asks you any of those questions–esp. the research one
. I’ve gotten to where I don’t like to do signings where I have to rely on strangers to sell books…I’d rather sign and know my audience. I’ll be doing lots of promo for my booksigning next month for DIRTY LITTLE LIES (Saturday, September 2nd at the Barnes & Noble in Carrollwood at 2pm) …hoping again to have no strangers, but lots and lots and LOTS of friends, family and loyal readers!
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Good Luck Leslie. Having been on the third side of a book signing I know exactly what you are talking about.
The 3rd side you may wonder- the bookstore that is hosting it.
You have the books on display, big fing signs, a table set up with a warm body behind it (or more than one) and then you get:
a) Who is that?:wtf: (If you can’t read why are you in a bookstore?)
b) What did they write? :wallbash:
c) Do they have to be right where I want to walk? (Let me move the all important comic books over here for you)
d) I don’t have my reciept, can you look up my previous purchase? (NO):violin:
e) I don’t have my reciept but you remember when I bought it here don’t you? (NO):wallbash:
f) If I buy another copy, can I use this reciept to return the one I bought but can’t find the reciept for? (Go ask the manager):biteme:
By this time,
:cocktail: (plural) are severely needed, along with lots of chocolate!!
I was always amazed by the authors- they never actually came over the table to throtle someone!!
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Reading this today made me laugh because my new wip starts with a book signing were the heroine is cringing at the thought mostly due to the questions about what an exciting life she must lead, etc. I kept staring at the first chapter thinking I can’t write that. Readers might not want to or need to know that. But it was funny to me because I do think that some readers (not the plotmonkey ones) think that writers live the same lives as the characters in their books. They don’t realize that sometimes it’s pj’s, coffee, and chocolate.
I’m hoping that this weekends signing will be great. Of course you might want to make signs pointing towards the bathroom, I don’t work here, want to or thinking about writing a book contact RWA, and of course the sign that would say, thanks for the offer for research but I’m booked way into the future.
Really, I know that this one will be fun with the Roxanne and the others there with you.
Trish – it was really great to meet you at the book signing after the TARA meeting on Saturday. And we both now have plotmonkey pins WooHoo:cooldance:
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That was hilarious. The things we do for our jobs! Good luck!:thumbsup:
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that is funny.
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Good luck! That sounds like a fun event. I’m in Orlando, so if I don’t have to work too late, I’ll take a drive out there!
:wave:
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#1 is just too yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck (hoping no scary men in sight)
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Leslie if I lived in FL I would definetly be at the book signing. I live in Connecticut.
I finished Here Comes Trouble :thumbsup2: :happy2::thumbsup:
Good Luck:thumbsup:
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Leslie, I’m in California so I won’t be stopping by! Darn–maybe some other time! :) I can’t imagine why people are so rude these days, but you see it everywhere! Good luck with the signing & a wish for nice people interested in reading a good book. :thumbsup2:
The cocktail is to help you cope with any rude people!!!
I really hate it when people put down romance books. Did they ever read one?
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Hey Vicki,
I have my Plot Monkey pin displayed proudly on my desk! I’ll see you at Julie book signing in September!
Trish
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The general public can be a PITA for just about anyone who has to deal with them, I guess. I know the artists on the craft fair and art show circuit go through much the same crap authors often do. I have a couple of friends who make jewelry in polymer clay who always run into those thoughtless, dimwitted comments, too. They get sick of explaining things like the design is not painted on (it’s an intricate process of bunding rods of clay, etc, etc) and no it’s not just like play-doh, etc. :wallbash:
A brilliant and far sassier artist than I started putting up a huge sign at the front of her table with a few smart aleck answers to the FAQ’s. (I get flashes of the Bill Engvall “Here’s your sign” routine, lol) Perhaps one should do the same for romance authors at signings. Give the people in line something funny to read while waiting, perhaps shut up a few idiots or at least make it easier to show that that they’re idiots?
Anyway, best of luck!
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Leslie – I hope that the book signing goes so much better for you. It never ceases to amaze me what stupid questions the general public will ask…………and hope you get no propositions for someone to help you with your research…..ewwwwww is right !
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Good luck at your book signing, Leslie. If I lived near Melbourne, FL, I’d attend, but I’m all the way here in Northern CA.
Diana
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Good Luck Leslie!
Unfortuatnely, I won’t be in FL. But, I love book signings since you get to meet authors of books you like. (which is probably why I think I might have spent more time in getting books than in sessions while in Atlanta. But they’re recorded … LOL.) Try to think of it as fun w/ fellow writer friends and maybe you can plan to do 
s after and make fun of or plot how to knock the those in #s 1-10 in a next book …
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lol at the list. But best of luck with the signing!
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Great list. :) Good luck with the signing!
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I’d love to come to your booksigning, but I live in Western Oregon.
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How about my personal favorite … “are you SURE you wrote that book?”
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Good luck Leslie,
I wish i could meet you in Florida but im still in Maryland. I totally know how you feel with comments like where’s the bathroom? :doh: I guess people leave their brains outside. lol. Have a good week. Elisa
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Hope you girls have a wonderful booksigning and sell tons of books. Wish I was closer, I would love to come, but KY is just a little far to drive. lol
If you all ever get up my way, come do a signing for us, I pormise to make every effort to make it a successful one!
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Leslie, I wish you luck and next time someone asks you for directions to the bathroom, tell them you’ll show them if they buy your book.
Personally, I’d probably told them to….:biteme:
If I lived closer to the Plotmonkey booksignings, I’d be there!!!:cheer:
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Lots of luck and I can’t believe the nerve of some people or the stupidity:cursing: Wish I was in Florida instead of Pittsburgh – does anyone ever come here???
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Les, I would totally come, because I know that you’d remember my name, but I’m not sure I could arrange a trip to Florida right now. So have one of these
and enjoy. It’s going to be great. And you never know-maybe you’ll end up with a great story idea.
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Wow! They actually say those things to you?!
#1 absolutely floored me! That is just plain awful! Buy a water pistol and squirt them one!
I bet you feeling like saying to them, “What’s the matter with you?” (Heavy italian accent here), “Are you using your kidney’s instead of your Brain?”
I work in an art/office supply store and I know what you mean! Some people are so rude or just plain impatient! I mostly have customers who are so nice though.
I have to agree with Yolanda above. That would be fun if you tried to plot out a book with those rude comments in it.
Well, I wish you a great, fantastic, book signing, and hope all goes well for you!