I’m officially old and it’s not because of my age.
Some days (most days) my kids think I’m so lame. Admit it, you have the same problem. Anyone who has children or nieces or nephews or any version of rugrats who have to either live with you or take orders from you, suffers from THE LOOK. You know what I’m talking about. It isn’t subtle, it’s direct and in your face. The prolonged sigh. The roll of the eyes. And if it’s a particularly mortifying moment for said rugrat, it’s accompanied by the long-suffering wail: “M-o-m!” drawn out for the world to hear.
What do we chauffeurs, I mean mothers, do to deserve such disdain? Well in my world, it varies. And I decided to make a list of the things that bring on THE LOOK. I’m sure there are more, but this post is long enough as it is.
1. My choice of music. Sometimes my kids appreciate me, after all, I can sing the words to “Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira and “Ridin’” by Chamillionaire. But that’s only when I’m awake and perky and with my kids. Alone, about to go into the shower, I’ve been recently caught with these oldies: Neil Diamond’s songs and I’m not talking America. I’m talking about Brother Love’s Travelin’ Salvation show. And the other day I found a remake by Michael Buble of Save the Last Dance For Me. My children cringe. I should add though, I’ve caught them humming Meatloaf songs when I’m not supposed to be listening. I taught them well.
2. My choice of what to listen to when I’m alone in the car. I’ve become my mother. Now most of you will probably expect me to follow that up with “I listen to classical music or 1950’s stuff.” Uh … no. I listen to sports radio. WFAN or ESPN on the AM dial. First, this is baseball season. In the winter I’ll search for trade rumors but I’ll fall back on 100.3 in NY (Z-100) which really is what the kids prefer. But when they get into the car, they find out I’ve been listening to Mike and the Mad Dog. Oh the humiliation. My mom, the Yankee fan, talks while we’re driving and mid-sentence will say, “Let’s see what’s going on in the world of sports” and hit the power button and we’ll have AM radio/sports. It rubbed off on me. So what if she’s looking for Yankee news and I’m looking for the Mets? I’ve become my mother. And my husband’s greatest fear is that they’ll one day drag his car out of the Hudson River or the Atlantic Ocean because he drove off the bridge in horror after hearing a caller say: “Hello, this is Arlene (my mom, FYI) and I live in Purchase, NY. First time, Long time. Let’s talk about the Yankees.”
3. The News – when did I become so … adult? If I’m home, I like to have the TV on. My first choice is always afternoon Soaps. On the weekends I’ll even put on Soap Net on the one TV that has Satellite. But I’ll just as easily flip on MSNBC or FOXNews or CNN just to have company to listen to. I tell the kids it’s so I can get the weather, but I lie. I don’t enjoy what’s ON the news these days, but I’ve come to enjoy ::gulp:: the news. Give my kids a chance and it’s MTV: My Super Sweet 16 or Date My Mom where, I kid you not, the mom goes on a date with three people and picks one for their beloved daughter; or the other one that gives me chills is Parental Control where the parents have a problem with their child’s current significant other, so they interview candidates then each choose a date for their son/daughter who then goes out on a date while the parents and current boyfriend/girlfriend sit together at home and watch – while the current one insults and curses at the parents; and on the date, they actually make out. And to think I used to have nightmares about Barney the purple dinosaur! I told the girls I think these shows are trash and my oldest said I ruined them for her forever. GOOD! Just don’t tell her I said so.
4. Shopping – I love the mall. I’ve said so. Just don’t make me go into Abercrombie ever again. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! I’ll do whatever you want, even clean my child’s room if it means avoiding that head banging, loud music where the sales people are gum chewing teens, there’s never an open fitting room, and did I mention the LOUD music? Oh God, I’m turning into my mom again!
5. MOM – How could you show up and think you can joke with my friends like they’re YOUR friends? Go away! Oh, wait, I need a ride to the mall, to the movies, to said friend’s house. And I need money for the mall, the movies, something to eat. PLEASE don’t make me stuff SASE’s!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s SO boring! But you need money, so you have to work for it. She stuffs. (you should be getting your goodies soon, folks
Can someone please tell me why she ran out screaming? And who invented the concept of STOMP, STOMP, SLAM (the door). Why do I want her out of her tomb … I mean room as much as I want her in there until she turns 18?
Seriously though, parenting is challenging. It’s tough. It’s rewarding and not rewarding enough until they ask for a hug. Then you’ve been given the moon, the stars, and everything in between. Until I open my mouth again and one of them gives me … THE LOOK.
What do YOU have to do to earn the dreaded glare from your offspring or any child in your care? And how old is that child who thinks they’re due MORE rights than any other tax paying citizen in the United States? Come on, share the wealth …
And FYI when you’re finished here, I’m guestblogging today at: Romance by the Blog so stop by and read my HOT ITEM blog, it’s all about hot atheletes. What else? :) Not even my kids can complain about THAT unless it’s my CHOICE in hot athletes. And for that, you’ll have to check it out for yourself. :d But first you have to comment here!
Carly Phillips would like to take 100% credit for all her stories but the truth is, Carly’s strength is writing family, emotion, funky elderly people and animals. She couldn’t plot her way out of a paper bag, which is why she smartly found her plotmonkey pals early on in her writing career. Thanks to their support, Carly is now a NYT Bestselling author of 23 plus novels. Because writing doesn’t keep her busy enough, Carly is also a wife, a mother of one preteen and one teenage daughter, the primary care giver of her soft coated Wheaten terrier and an expert carpool mom.
ANOTHER WILD WEDDING NIGHT
Hard to Hold
Love Me If You Dare
Wild For Him
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Hey Carly you know I went though that too
Mom really thing but now my kids are grown and have kids of thier own
and you know their kids do that to them WHAT A WONDERFUL PAY BACK don’t you think
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Unfortunately, I don’t have children. However, I have suffered through the look from 2 godchildren (age 21 female and age 18 male) and my niece (age 11). I absolutely cringe when the “look occurs”. Mostly, the “look” is directed at one of the parents and I just witness it. Why is it that the child automatically assumes the “aunt” is on their side and not the side of the parent? God, I hate to rat them out. The cause is usually “But, my friends are getting to do this or have that!” Heaven knows, we hate to disappoint any kid – always wanting to give them more or let them do more than we ever did. I hear my mother shouting in my head “If your friends were all jumping off the bridge would you have to jump too?” Boy, I’m starting to feel a little dazed and confused, and I repeat, I have no children!
Good luck – and in the meantime – I’ll stand on the side lines with my mother screaming in my head!
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Oh, Carly, that “stomp, stomp, Slam!” is such a staple in my house, with 3 girls. And wanting them out of their tombs–then wanting them to go right back in–I think you’ve been living in my house. I will get “the look” from my very liberal-minded hippie oldest when I say anything the least bit conservative. Funny how they grow up on ya! :)
Leslie
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My daughter is only 2 so she is still working on her “look”. But the tantrums are just awful, and usually happen in the middle of the grocery store. LOL!
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My son is 17 and I still get “the look” sometimes though I have to say I think “the look” is more for girls not boys especially as they get older. If I dare suggest the my son go somewhere with my husband and I, I get the look that says “Get real, I’m not going anywhere with my parents. My friends might see me.” Heaven forbid.
I remember the “stomp, stomp, slam” – I perfected it when I was young. Times haven’t changed much. And yes, I’ve turned into my mother! Scary!!
P.S. Just finished “Hot Item” over the weekend and I loved it! It was my favorite story of the series. (y)
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You are so right Carly. I have two girls and I’m going through the MTV crap. I mean I watched some MTV before I married. MTV was just music videos. Now it is just filthy. some of those show they put on are just awful. My youngest daughter (15) just rolls her eyes at me when i tell her to turn that channel or to turn the volume down. I listen to classic rock on the radio. My girls are love most all music even country until a few years ago and peer presure came into play.
Any way you were right on the money in this blog, Carly. (dog)
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Carly:
My eleven year old, who is now taller than me at 5′ 6″ and growing rapidly, is constantly embarrassed by me, his mother. At home, he’s all over me but in public, he stands up a little straighter, drops his voice an octave, and adopts a manly swagger, so desperately wanting to be older than he is. Anything, and I mean anything–like sneezing too loudly–means that I get the look and a deep voiced “Mommmeeee!” Then he says, “You’re scaring me”, as if that will make me back off. I take that as my invitation to torment purposely, acting as goofy as I can, until he finally collapses into laughter. He won’t be my “man-boy”, as I call him, much longer, so I aim to enjoy this time.
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carly- hate to say this but my 28 year old still does that when i visit her and her daughter in calif…she was 6 mo. pregnant and she disagreed about something she went down the hall yelled something and slammed the door. she continued this for about a day her 3 year daughter my grandaughter turned to me and said ” i think my mommy is mad huh grandma” but yes i have 4 step children and 2 of my own we are rasing the 12 year old stepchild and he doesn’t want to do something he stands there and rolls his eyes at you and then folds his arms real hard my reply is ” do it now” and quickly he unfolds ..wow can’t wait till he is 18 hahahah good luck and it happens to all of us but don’t back down that is why i have a 28 year old who still does it i wasn’t strong enough and i often gave up…
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Oh, what I have to look forward to!
My son is only 13 months, but I know those days will come in no time. I enjoy my cuddling and covering him with kisses now while I can, before he starts saying “mom…. stop it”
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I laughed out loud at this blog….my sons are: just turned 6, 4 in August and 17 months. My almost 4 year old has glasses and has already perfected ‘the look’…I told his teacher about it at the beginning of the year and she didn’t believe me. He looks over his glasses as if to say, “Mom, that’s NOT how we do it, DUH!”. Yikes, he even gave it to his teachers. My 17 month old, when he tells me off, he sounds like a typewriter on hyper speed…I always say, “there goes the typewriter, wonder what I did wrong’. My 6 year old just ignores me. I figure he’s pretending to be a teenager. :) Oh well…. soon, they’ll be living in their rooms for their teenage years.
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OH HOW I CAN RELATE!!! I have a daughter 20 years old who came home about a month ago after completing her second year of college. Let’s just say it has been a zoo in our house ever since. My sons who are 17 and 13 are counting the days till she goes back to school. ITS THAT BAD!!! So… I cry when she leaves to go to school and I cry when she comes home because she makes this house NUTTY!!!
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My kids aren’t into the stomp, stomp, slam phase yet (two toddlers and an eleven year old), but the oldest is getting there. I did get THE LOOK a few weeks back at the last day of school party for the oldest. I’d volunteered to take goodies, which I did. When I got ready to leave, of course I went up to him and hugged him. GASP! In front of his friends. I even kissed his cheek. Needless to say, his friends won’t get within a few feet of me. I guess they’re afraid I’ll kiss them, too. The only good thing is that all the little girls in his class think I’m totally cool because of my clothes (I tend to be sort of trendy). Which is nice. And I hate to admit this, but I’m the one in the house who watches MTV’s DATE MY MOM. I know, I know. Totally stupid. Horrible. But so much so that it’s actually funny. This, I’m sure, will be a point of contention later when my kids get older and the show is no longer cool. Oh, you’re mom watches THAT? Barf-a-rama. Then again, the fact that I still say barf-a-rama will probably be reason enough for THE LOOK.
What a great topic, Carly!
Kim
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I think I still do that to my mom occasional! LOL
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Carly what a great topic. I can relate to that look on two levels…………LOL
I still get it from my daughter who is 33 and from my son who is 32………on occasion when I say or do something that they “can’t believe I just did that”.
On the next level I get the look quite frequently when I around my grandson who is 8 and my granddaughter…….who is 12 and I swear going on 24………LOL Ahh! And have you noticed that even when you talk to them on the phone – you can just imagine them rolling their eyes and sighing……… :d
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I’m a huge Mets fan living in Los Angeles, so I listen to the mets game online and have the cable package that lets me watch games from NY. I listen to rock music in the morning and sports talk the rest of the day. I don’t have kids but I have nieces and nephews they are too little to be embarrased already but my nephew really hates it when I hug and kiss him in public.
O/T: just an fyi Michael Vartan was in New York all last week and went to see Bradley’s play and went to the Mets game on Friday. Someone that I know had lunch and dinner with him on Saturday.
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The Look is alive and well in my home also…but what can I expexct when I have 4(yes 4) daughters?! But my kids also know that I wont hesitate to become obnoxious with them and their friends in an instant…(they learned that over the last 2 years while I was a substitute teacher at their school)!! My oldest just turned 14 and then I have an 11 year old, 8 year old and a 6 year old….no wonder my husband works such wacky hours!! The popular saying in my house is “I perfected The Look long before you were ever thought of and can still teach you much about it”…LOL. The stomp, stomp, slam will get their doors removed from thier hinges(this only took once and seems to work magic!)….just so happy to know it isn’t only MY kids that do this
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Great blog & comments! My daughters are grown but I know the Look!! :)
Yes, sometimes I am my mother & my daughters tell me once in awhile that they find themselves being me!! :) We just laugh & shake our heads! When they were growing up I had the look, usually over the top of my glasses & they knew I meant business!!
Music–I grew up listening to great music in the 40’s & my teenage years were the 50’s & certain songs will still bring a sigh from me just because I remember once when I was young!! My favorite music now is smooth jazz & when I have the radio on it is on that station, love it! However, my CD collection is a very eclectic collection of music I love, why would you buy anything else!! :d
Have a great day everyone.
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Since she’s on my yearbook and newspaper staffs, my daughter and I spend LOTS of time together. Most kids get to escape at school, not her. The Look is a daily part of our lives. Stomp, stomp, slam not so much so. We took the door off her bedroom. :d
She still has the hall door to her part of the house, but she knows if it slams, it’s gone too. At least for a while.
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Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira and “Ridin’” by Chamillionaire (y)
My son is 12 years old and I take him to the bus stop every morning because he goes to my parent’s afterschool and I am NOT ALLOWED to drop him off in front of the bus stop it has to be before the bus stop and absolutely NO GOODBYE KISS he has to do it before we get to the bus stop
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Katelyn
GO METS (y)
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I have to admit I am a VH1 & MTY reality junkie lol
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My daughter is 11 and is working CONSTANTLY on perfecting “the look”. I usually get it when I say something she doesn’t want to hear. For example, “It’s not my fault you’re tired. When you stay the night at a friend’s house and stay up until 3:00 in the morning and then sleep all day, the next morning when you have to get up is going to be tough.”
Then I get “the look” followed by a “whatever”.
I keep hearing that it only gets better from here on out.