I’m really not sure where the hair color problem started. Perhaps it started because I was born bald. Okay all babies are born bald (except my youngest who looked like she had a Mohawk all over her head). But I do think my baldness was exceptional. For one thing, I was a preemie, 7 months into my mom’s pregnancy, and it was really touch and go. I think that affected something. I stayed bald until I was over 2 years old. I kid you not and here’s a photo to prove it. 
I also never wear hats without being extremely embarrassed … and there’s another reason why. See pic below. 
Then understand my father made me wear one for the temple portion of my Bat Mitzvah. At least mine didn’t have fruit on it (or maybe it was just big flowers) like my mom’s did. She swears that was the start of her ulcer. But I digress.
As I got older, I had long hair. I used to wear it “wild and woose”. We won’t discuss the lisp. It’s long gone since my mom and dad believed in speech therapy. But it was in this wild and loose stage where I learned I had hair. Lots and lots of hair. Which my mom decided to cut into the newest style around 6th grade – a shag. She says I asked, no begged for the cut. To this day I think she’s lying and if I had a photo to show you, you’d know why someone else, anyone else BUT ME, has to take the blame for this hideous hairdo in the years before we had gels, straighteners, or even know how to take care of our own hair. Oh and did I mention COWLICKS? I had big ugly cowlicks that refused to be tamed. Oh the shame.
Of course we all want what we can’t have, and I wanted straight hair. Hahahaha. I had really good hair days with the big hair 1980’s though and really bad hair days. And then one time I was in Florida and decided to let someone new do my hair. OK so I forgot that this person couldn’t continue to do my hair if I loved it, and so I had my first haircut AND COLOR.
I was a strawberry blonde and looking back, I love the color.
At the time, I wasn’t self confident enough to carry it off, and I was always uncomfortable. Sooooo … after the upkeep didn’t go easily with new people in Boston, (I’m a natural brunette and I had really bad roots), I decided to go back to my natural color with red highlights. NATURAL red highlights.
In I went to the newest hip place in New York City the next time I went home, VIDAL SASSOON. I explained what I wanted. I know I did. However I walked out with FUSCHIA highlights. I have no pictures. There’s a reason for that. Mom picked me up and stared but said nothing. We got into the car to go home, I looked in the car mirror, and burst into tears. “Don’t worry, I’ll call Marvin. He can fix anything.” Marvin was my mother’s hairdresser for years at a small Salon in Stony Point, NY and I used to use him as well. He’s a great guy. I conveniently forgot he’s also the man I talked into PERMING my already BIG hair back when I wanted soft spirals and got Buckwheat from the Little Rascals. But I digress. Again. Sorry.
So I looked in the mirror again and remembered I was getting married in a year and I needed to have hair I at least loved (not liked, loved, this is my wedding!) and all these colors, especially the fuscia stripes, MUST grow out. So the woman on a mission went to Marvin, who dyed my hair back brown, and kept dying it brown every time I came home until all the color finally grew out. Of course we kept cutting it out as well.
I got married in my natural color hair. 
This is my natural color, not my wedding picture, but I’m sure you already figured that out!
Through the following years, I grew bolder and highlighted again, sometimes red, (not fuschia), sometimes gold, and then ten years ago, I met my current hair stylist. I trusted her innately. I still don’t know why. And she gave me my first “short” semi straight hair cut – I wanted to look like Terri Hatcher in her first incarnation as Superman’s chick (as Bridgette my stylist likes to call it). Of course knowing she was with Dean Cain helped. But I wanted her hair. I didn’t know from straightening irons and it never quite worked, but I liked it. I chopped off my big hair and it’s been above shoulders ever since.
That’s when the color fetish started. I’ve been brown with gold highlights; I’ve been light brown; I’ve gone TOTALLY RED and been likened to Debra Messing with the curls (but that’s too kind and so untrue! Poor Debra 
Happily blonde. Blonder and Blonder. (No, not Blondie, though she fits in with Julie’s music post from last week).
So here is my main rant from all this hair history. I loved the blonde. This photo is me blonde. But it never lasts. Not for me. Why can all my friends be blonde? Highlighted/colored blonde and have healthy looking hair? And I now look like a dyed BRILLO pad? (sorry no photos allowed!) And so today (which is really Thursday June 2, 2006 when I am writing this), I had a 10 AM hair appointment, for which Bridgette and I agreed, she will put in brown lowlights and “drench it in gold.” I’ll miss the blonde, but my skin tone is washed out and my hair is so unhealthy so I can not wait to go.
Midway writing this blog, it’s 9:15 AM and the telephone rings. he school nurse called about one of my kids. She has huge welts all over her arms and legs, which were mosquito bites but the nurse said if I didn’t take her to a doctor she couldn’t let her stay in school b/c she wasn’t sure what they were. So I had to pick her up and run around w/her, and of course it was bites, but she did need a doctor b/c they’re covering her and huge, so we got cream etc. and I took her back to school. Got a 1:30 hair appointment instead, but I’m a good mom. I put her before my hair.
And now, I am once again a brown with blonde highlights. I’ll know more after I wash and dry it myself tomorrow, but I like it. Knowing me, I’ll miss the blonde by tomorrow though. Which means, the next time you see me, I could be any color under the sun.
But hey. We all have our neuroses. Hair is mine. Bad, high humidity and brillo hair can ruin my day but nice, gorgeous dry weather can put a smile on my face and it’ll last all day. Who here can fess up to being a hair nut? Home dying, home highlighting, salon work, it doesn’t matter. Does a hair appointment give you real high? Or do you just think I’m plain crazy?
Carly Phillips would like to take 100% credit for all her stories but the truth is, Carly’s strength is writing family, emotion, funky elderly people and animals. She couldn’t plot her way out of a paper bag, which is why she smartly found her plotmonkey pals early on in her writing career. Thanks to their support, Carly is now a NYT Bestselling author of 23 plus novels. Because writing doesn’t keep her busy enough, Carly is also a wife, a mother of one preteen and one teenage daughter, the primary care giver of her soft coated Wheaten terrier and an expert carpool mom.
3 Seductions and a Wedding
COLD SIGHT
Kiss Me If You Can
Wild For Him
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I too have this thing for my hair. I’ve been brown, red, mahogany with a deep purple (when the sun hit it) highlight, and the past three years…yep…blonde. I loved the red but there is this thing called gray that wants to come through and so the upkeep was way too much, thus the blonde. I will say that at least my gray is not the ugly dull color. It is a very blonde to white blonde color so it sort of looks like highlights in my hair. That’s what I keep telling myself so please…don’t burst my bubble.
The natural would be what was referred to as dirty dishwater blonde. Now who wants to have that? Not me.
My first experience with hair coloring happened to not be my choice. I was a senior in high school almost time for graduation (do you get where this is going) and my Aunt who colored her own hair every six weeks bought the wrong color. Hmmm…take it back and get the correct color you say, not in my family. If it was bought someone should be able to use it. That someone was me. The color was this reddish blonde and the truth of it was I loved it the first few days. Then the change came. It became, oh what’s the word we used, brassy. Still I thought hey this is kinda cool. Different. Now, when I look at my high school picture all I see is orange.
Then there was the perm that looked like an Afro. Oh my…I’ve always had straight hair with this one big wave in it. Really, more like a big hump then a wave. That is until a year ago when my hair started frizzing all the time. Washing it on a Saturday morning and leaving it to dry natural while I cleaned the house I was shocked when I looked in the mirror a couple of hours later to see not straight hair with one hump but curl and lots of it. Trouble is I don’t have any idea how to take care of curly hair and still fight with it back and forth between trying to blow it out and trying to let it do it’s thing.
For me, while I love my makeup, if I had to make a choice between makeup and good hair it would be good hair all the way. (This is really a way to long post, sorry about that)
:)
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Gosh what is it about women and their hair? Never satisfied with what we have LOL. I have stick-straight mousy brown hair. When I was a pre-teen, I got it permed about every 6 months. Looked like Annie. When I was about 12, I decided using Sun-In was a good idea. Because I have red highlights, my hair turned orange. Right in time for class pictures.
Later, I’d cut my own hair. Then color it. I was once an unintentional blonde and an unintentional bergundy. Why? Cuz I’m too cheap to go get it professionally done I guess. I’ll pay hundreds of dollars for books, but not for my hair. I little twisted, but that’s me.
Now, I am more of a last-minute person. I decide I need a trim and I have to go that same day, so of course it’s to a less expensive place. Right now I’m just letting it grow out until I get sick of it and get it cut shorter. Obviously, my hair is not my pride and joy…
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I’m right there with you, Carly. I’ve had every shade under the sun–brown, brown with red highlights, brown with gold highlights, very blonde, dark blonde. Usually, I go lighter in the summer and darker in the winter. And I absolutely LOVE having my hair brushed. Kids often receive punishments like this–”You didn’t clean your room. You have to brush my hair for ten minutes.”
As for stylists, I’ve always been really loyal. I had one guy that I went to for ten years, then he made the mistake of letting an assistant roll my hair for a perm and I ended up with a scrubby scalp and that was the end of that. The next stylist, whom I’m still with, was appalled at the perm, insisted that we let it grow out–I’d been getting perms for years–and turns out I have naturally curly hair and I never needed a perm to start with. And he’s simply fabulous. When I walk in, nine times out of ten he’ll look at me and say, “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to you today.” (And he’s gay, so I know he’s talking about my hair, lol.) Something about knowing that he’s actually excited about the possibility of making me look better is really fabulous. :-) It’s a three-hour ordeal between cut and color and I don’t leave the chair until every strand is right, regardless of whose waiting and what they have to do.
I like that. :) I get the star treatment every time.
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I’m definitely a hair person, too. I’ve been every color under the sun, from black to blonde to red to blue (yes, blue). The blue was back in my teens during my Flock of Seagulls phase (I know. He had pink. I did that, too, but then I tried blue and it was so kewwl, that it stuck for about two months). Anyhow, it’s so funny how hair can make or break my day and mood. I’ll never understand it. I just know that when I’m in the shower every morning, I actually pray for a good hair day. Of course, I live in Texas, home to humidity, so my prayers are rarely answered, but I try anyway. My real hair color? Medium brown. And yes, my hair is so damaged that I often want to chop it all off and start fresh. Instead, I do deep conditioning once a week which helps. Otherwise, I just pray and invest a ridiculous amount in hair care products. I bet your hair looks great, Carly! Can’t wait to see it in Atlanta.
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I can totally relate to Stacy. When I first read this blog, I thought of during high school when I used Sun In and my hairdresser ‘tsk, tsked’ me. My mom wouldn’t let me get it colored, then, but Sun In was okay (I’d sneak it in with money of my own). Then, there were the ‘body waves’, which actually were so nice because it was very ‘wash and wear’.
My hair is brown with red highlights with gray thrown in. I haven’t had a chance to color it in a few years because having young babes, you either a)can’t do it because you are pregnant or b)too tired to sit in a chair for a long time. I have been begging my mom to watch my boys so I can go get it done this summer (I don’t trust just ANYONE and my favorite hairdresser lives near her). Hopefully, I will be able to get rid of the gray. I seem to be freaking out my mom lately when she sees my gray strands (‘how can my baby have gray hair????? I must be old” is what I get from her). My husband asked me recently, “am I giving you gray hair?” I think I need to make that appointment!
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I have been coloring my hair since my mom took me to the hairdresser for highlights when I was 16 yrs old. Done it professionally, paid way too much money for it, not enough money for it, done it at home…the works.
The girl I’m going to now does a great job. I’m naturally dark brown but right now I have a lot of blonde and ‘caramel’ (great word!) highlights. I love to get my hair colored. It makes me happy. :)
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So funny, Carly! I love the pictures. And considering I, too, “begged” my mother for a shag (and got one!) I am equally as quick to hide the pictures of that era in my life.
Leslie
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Okay, I can out do your “shag” haircut experience. My grandmother took me for a haircut once in elementary school. I came home with a “Dorothy Hamill” BOWL CUT!!!!! ;( I cried and cried and told my mother I wasn’t going to school unless she let me wear a kerchief.
To this day I shudder at the thought of cutting my hair short. Even though my hairdresser told me there comes a time when you are too old to have long hair. I am only 36 for pete’s sake!
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cute pics. i know hair is just so confusing. you want it one way then u get something else :d
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Hair is something that is always been a problem. Although I have never colored or streaked my hair……..I have always just left it to its own natural color, I just never could be bothered.
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Hello Everyone (f)
I have heard so many times from my family that I had pretty hair. I had hair like curly sue. The only problem though was my hair would always get so long. I heard my father couldn’t take it anymore with the long hair when I was younger so he cut it ;( . It is funny because now I don’t let anyone cut my hair I don’t trust to many people to get it cut. About 2yrs ago was the first time I actually got it cut. My fiance got it cut for me in layers on valentine’s day. After that my best friend got it cut for me for my birthday and a few times after that. But now my hair is long and I am not sure though if I want it cut again. I love my hair but it’s a real pain to comb it when it is so long
. I am thinking of getting it cut in layers again. I loved the layers it’s pretty 
Linda.H.
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Oh one more thing Carly I love the pictures you have up on here. You have really pretty hair
Linda.H.
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God gifted me with beautiful red hair! How I wish it was still that glorious red! Now it is mostly gray & has darkened with age so I guess it is auburn & gray, when the sun hits it there is still red there! I am a lover of short hair for most people & I love seeing makeovers where someone got their long hair cut off & seeing how much more attractive they are. My hair is all natural, I wash, condition, brush & go! Simple, easy I love it!! :) Maybe I am missing a hair gene!! My oldest daughter has very straight hair & wanted a Dorothy Hammil hair cut, it looked great on her & she wore it that way for several years. Now I only see her a few times a year & I’m never sure what her hair style or color will be–I guess she got all the hair genes! My other daughter has very long strawberry blonde hair & I would love to see her cut it–but she is an adult & I have no say, oh well! I still love her. (l)
Guess this is enough about my hair thoughts! Fun subject Carly. Bye the way I love all your pictures. :)
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Hey! Just found out about this blog from a recent email sent out by you! Love it, I add it to my blog list. I’ll be visiting regularly. Oh and I loved Hot Item! Sooo cute, the entire series was great. I just posted a reveiw of it on the blog me and a few friends have. Everyone seems to have loved the book so far.
As for hair fetishs I have them with who cuts my hair. But that’s all, I’ve never colored my hair. And the funny thing is it’s not cause I LOVE my hair. I just happen to have a unique color and I love when people ask what color I use to color my hair and I get to say it’s natural. lol. I don’t know why.
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(note) If my hair don’t look good, I don’t look good. I have a huge blond mohawk. I love going to my tiny salon every month for a bleach. Makes me feel like a new woman.
:[
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Hi Carly, and all others,
Hmmmmmmmmm….Well, my two cents insofar as this color commentary collection :p is that I cannot be a blond because it doesn’t look good on me. :s
Recently, a wise hair stylist/colorist told me that when dying hair it’s always best to stay as true to one’s natural hair color as possible because that will always look best. Of course you may low-light, high-light, etc., whatever it takes to spruce up your look but keep it in line with the natural undertones of your DNA provided hair color. :d
Anyway, being I was born with light brown hair with a natural red hue, he advised me to go with medium brown mixed with a dark auburn color, which has given me a shiny, natural looking brownish-red. To even my surprise I love it! :d
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I’ve been coloring my hair for years. When I was younger, I used the Sun In but in my 30’s went for regular coloring. I’m like Carly…i wanted the perfect hair. I went to the same hair stylist for years but my hair was getting boring….
Have a new one and she is a bit more inventive. Right now I have highlights and I think it looks good. :)
Oh…for bad hair….I still shudder at my Shirley Temple perm. Hated it! It took months to get rid of the curley hair. It was way too curley. (n)
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I have never had great hair! Never. As a kid, it was never quite straight enough to be straight, never curly enough to be curly. Then I started perming in college. My hair was very long and very curly and very expensive to maintain. After my daughter was born, I no longer needed perms. My hair became very curly. Of course, this was when straight hair was finally “in.”
I started coloring my hair about five years ago. Some to cover grey, some because I wanted to have fun. My hair is naturally dark brown with no highlight colors, so I went red. I’ve been cranberry, burgundy, purple…every dark red you can think of. I love my latest color…a mahogany…but when it starts to fade, it gets very orange. I need to do highlights/lowlights, but my stylist gives a great cut but isn’t great at color and frankly, I’m too loyal to him to go to someone else!
By the way, I think that the new flatirons are the best inventions ever. In combination with John Frieda and Redkin straighteners, I can usually defy the Florida humidity. Usually.
Julie
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Carly, I was bald until I was 2 too, and I wasn’t a preemie.
Mom would get soooo upset when she took me out, in a dress, and people would ask, “Your boy?” :d
That’s why I’ve only had short hair during a very misguided period when I chopped it to chin-length.
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Love this discussion on hair! I do color my hair and have been since I had a “highlight-gone-bad” several years ago.
Long story short, I wanted some blondish highlights (I’ve got medium to dark brown hair) and I turned out looking like a tiger with orange stripes (think Tony the Tiger of Frosted Flakes fame) but I didn’t look greeeat! I left the salon, came home and looked in my mirror and cried. I went back later that day to get it fixed, because there was no way in heck I was going to be seen like that in public. I told the hairdresser to just make it brown again please!!
Ever since then I’ve been coloring it a lighter brown with golden and now some reddish highlights. I can’t remember how dark it used to be before. I love a trip to the salon (I’ve got a different hairdresser now)! It’s such a pampering experience.
It’s funny how bad hair days can really affect your outlook, your mood, etc. When your hair looks good you feel good, more confident.
Great topic, Carly. Love the pictures. You do have great hair.
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I totally understand the hair thing. I have naturally curly hair and a mom whose hair is stick straight. Needless to say she had no idea what to do with my curls, so for years as a young child I had long curly blonde hair that was parted down the middle and pulled back into barrettes on each side.
It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I figured out what to do with my curls thanks to a great hairdresser who has since retired. ;( And since I can be an impossibly slow learner, I still try all kinds of stuff to straighten my hair. For the most part I like it curly (now), but it seems all the cute styles are for straight hair. Figures.
As for color, I change it all the time. I go from red to brown to dark brown to black. I gave up on blonde after high school, somethings just weren’t meant to be.
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I have to say I have been pretty lucky with my hair.
It is Auburn in colors and changes according to the amount of sunlight I get into.
I’ve never colored but I am begining to pluck a stray gray (white) hair every know and then. My hair is thick with lots of body. I got body perms for years before my last hairdresser told me i didn’t need to do it.
WHat’s so funny is that after all types of hairstyles which I picked out, I told my stylist to do what she thought would look best and be easy. Well that hair style wound up being very similar to the style I wore when I graduated high school.
When I’m home which is most of the time I have my hair pulled back in a ponytail to keep it out of the way.
I guess that has to be my favorite style of all. :)
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Cary, I just finished reading Hot Iem (y)
I have been washing the grey of out my hair lately
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My hair is naturally curly and it dries out quickly. I love going to get it cut. I’ve had reddish-brown hair with gold highlights, red hair (looked more maroon than red). I’ve worn it long and last year got it cut of into a curly bob. It looks great, is easier to take care of and I love it. I use mouse every time I fix it. I’ve tried to wear it straight but that didn’t work too well. I love trying new things with my hair.
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I was also bald until I was about 4 but when my hair finally grew I looked like curly sue and my hair was blondish-brown.
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Leslie – don’t pay attention to the stylist’s comment about hair and age. You cut your hair when and if you feel its length no longer works for you, not at an artificially set age when some stylist or “fashion expert” decides.
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