Okay, let’s get one thing straight: I love food. The junkier the better. On top of that, I am a habit-eater, not a hunger-eater. When I am stuck while writing, I immediately get up, cruise past the kitchen, grab a handful of something and walk around eating it while I think about how to fix my plot problem. I’m NOT thinking about the food I’m stuffing in my face–it’s just a habit.
(Oh, excuse me, not sure what to type next, I must casually stroll into the kitchen and grab a fistful of Lays.)
I’m back.
So, where was I? Oh, yes…food. I like it. So, as you can imagine, I’ve fought the weight battle from a very young age. I am definitely one of those people you’d call a yo-yo dieter.
Right now, if you walk into my nice, big closet, you’ll see a whole lot of clothes. Only about 1/3 of which I can wear at any one time. Yes, I have a 3-size wardrobe. The skinny clothes that I fit into the last time I went on a really successful diet (Weight Watchers and Curves,) the medium sized ones I usually wear, and the big ones for when I blow it all to hell and the 3-digit number on the scale goes way higher than my IQ. (That’s where I was about 6 weeks ago.)
Because I’m a writer and work at home–and because I live in Florida–my dresser isn’t quite so bad. One wardrobe of elastic waist shorts and t-shirts is usually sufficient throughout most of the year. But come summer–June 1–I am often found standing in that closet, focusing on which third of the wardrobe I want to be wearing at the RWA National conference in late July.
Yes. Of all diets I’ve been on, my annual Conference Diet has been the most successful. (Last year I skipped Nationals, so this year I’ve got even more to lose!)
I know there are a lot of diet plans out there, and I honestly don’t think there’s one I haven’t tried. I’ve done Weight Watchers, of course, which works over the long haul and which helps me maintain a halfway healthy weight most of the time. I am not always on it but I am often thinking about it when I am trying to eat “normally.” But as far as really fast weight loss, WW just doesn’t cut it. I demand instant gratification…my husband says it’s cause I was a guy in my past life.
I have, therefore, tried a ton of other diets.
Some that stick out in my memory…Diet Workshop (Weird lemony yellow vitamin pills that tasted like chalk. Ick. That didn’t last.) Hilton Head Metabolism Diet: I remember liking the frozen grapes with yogurt, but for someone as allergic to exercise as I am, it’s hard getting out and doing any exercise three times a week, much less twice a day!
Remember the “Lose 10 Pounds in 3 Days” diet? I don’t think I lost 3 pounds doing it for 10 days! (I also remember thinking, “how the hell can you lose weight eating two hot dogs for dinner?”) I’ve done Slim-Fast many times, often holding my nose as I tossed back the shake because I couldn’t stand the smell of the fiber.
The cabbage soup one was okay for a rabbit. I lasted 6 hours on South Beach. Atkins just seemed too much like starvation. I checked out the Zone Diet book once but didn’t want to have to work so hard.
Most recently, I did Nutri-System for a month, and it worked. Dropped 12 pounds, I can fit back into my medium clothes. It certainly wasn’t a long-term solution, but it made me feel better and gave me the incentive to at least try to eat better once all the packaged stuff was all gone.
Do I think I’m cured and on the path to a lifetime of healthy eating and maintaining a weight I’m happy with? Uh…that’d be a big NO. But, to tell you the truth, I’ve come to accept that. I know I’m never going to be thin…and that I’ll always be battling ten pounds off, then putting them back on. And believe it or not, I’m okay with it.
One reason I’m okay with it is because I’m married to an amazing man. He has never–NEVER–made me feel anything other than beautiful. I know he’s attracted to me, I know he adores me. And if I want to blow a few hundred bucks on Nutri-System, he’s supportive of that. Or if I want to devour an entire pepperoni pizza with him as we watch an old movie, he’s cool with that, too.
So I’ve become cool with it as well.
I guess that’s what the whole diet thing has come down to with me. I’m not thrilled with my weight and I doubt I ever will be. But I’m happy, I have a great marriage, a terrific life. So I no longer obsess over whether I can fit into “the” pair of jeans I’ve been holding onto forever, just on the off chance I fall onto a liposuction machine or drop thirty pounds while in a non-life-threatening coma for 2 weeks.
Yeah, I’ll keep my 3 wardrobes and I’ll bop around between them. But even when I’m wearing the ones I hate the most (the biggest ones) I’ll see that look in my husband’s eye and know he still sees the twenty-one year old girl he married. And I wouldn’t trade that look for a lifetime supply to miracle diet pills. Or a truckload of Lays.
Now…come clean. How many of you are just like me?
Leslie Kelly used to say she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up, but then she discovered Nancy Drew books. Being a flashlight-under-the-covers-nose-in-book reader throughout her childhood, she couldn’t think of anything else she’d rather do as an adult than continue to lose herself in fictional stories. Her real life marriage of 20 years to the man of her dreams is a constant reinforcement that happily-ever-afters really can happen…and that they’re worth writing about. Living in Maryland, Leslie spends her non-writing time laughing a lot with the above-mentioned romance hero and their three daughters. Though an author of more than thirty sexy, contemporary comedies, she has recently branched out to write dark romantic suspense under the pseudonym Leslie Parrish.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
Subscribe to Posts 
Comment
I must admit – I belong to the Leslie Kelly school of thinking. Doesn’t everyone’s closet hold 3 sizes of clothes? I have done weight watchers and lost 50 pounds – because I’m a just a little obsessive compulsive and because they said I should (really should have only lost 25lbs) But, I wasn’t happy always feeling hungry. So I gained it back. So, I know it works for me. Tried reading about the others but I felt to deprived just reading. Oh well, weight will always be an issue, but happiness shouldn’t.
Comment
Yep, story of my life, right down to the fact that my husband likes me just the way I am (though I’m convinced it’s part of an evil plot he’s devised to allow him to keep junkfood in the house). Huge WW fan myself – it works, it makes sense, so why don’t I follow it? I’ll never know. What I do know is cake, cookies and ice cream are my friends.
(^) (c) :)
Comment
Me, me, me …!!! I just have such a love affair with food I can’t seem to help myself. But I definitely eat while walking around plotting, like you do, and right now it’s left over Easter candy, ugh.
Comment
Les, this is certainly a topic that most women can relate to. Including myself! Yes, I have three sizes in my closet (maybe that’s why women need such huge closets, LOL!), and my weight is a constant battle.
I’m a junk food eater. Love it, love it, love it. But I do find that Weight Watchers is probably one of the best diets out there — the one that makes the most sense. You can eat anything you want, in moderation. But that’s a big part of my problem — WW’s idea of moderation does not match mine!
Comment
Surprisingly, I don’t eat while working. That’s the only time I DON’T eat. I have kids, however (ages 3, 5 and my big strapping 10 year old), and so I eat their leftovers. I eat the extra chicken nugget, or what’s left of the fries, or the Doritos my son forgot about. Hey, it’s just one chicken nugget, right? A couple of chips. No harm done. But multiply that by three, by several times a day (my kids eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, and multiple snacks). And you’re talking an extra ten pounds. I don’t have the different sized wardrobe, but I’m bulging out of mine right now. I haven’t been too motivated to lose because, like Leslie, my hubby loves me the way I am. Big, small. Bitchy or nice. He’s cool with it and thinks I’m gorgeous. Thankfully. But if I have to drop a few pounds fast, I do the diet they use for heart patients about to undergo surgery. Grapefruit and eggs and bacon for breakfast (you have to eat it all!) Chicken or beef, salad and more grapefruit for lunch. The same for dinner. No bread. No caffeine. And you can’t skip anything. It seems like all you do is eat on this diet and it’s great if you like protein. But I usually can’t do it for more than 4-5 days. But it works! Right now, however, I’m doing the Easter candy, too. I start with the small Hersheys eggs and eat all of those one or two at a time, before I work my way up to the Cadbury’s (my FAVORITE).
Comment
Only three sizes in the closet? I have everything from … well, let’s say I have four sizes now and a few of a fifth. Being short…er, petite, means that the littlest weight changes my entire body and 20 pounds can be the difference between a size 14 and a size 8.
I’m in agreement that Weight Watchers is best, but it is not instant gratification. It’s funny–we all know what we SHOULD be doing–and yet, we don’t. It’s too much work.
Kim, the diet you mentioned sounds like Atkins. I lasted on that for all of three days. Okay, I did low carb for longer and while I dropped some weight, I never felt good about it.
And besides, my mother in law made a batch of her famous chocolate chip cookies, which, if microwaved for 12 seconds, taste fresh out of the oven.
Comment
I’ve done a few – a combo of South Beach and Atkins worked for me, I lost 15 lbs and then promptly got pregnant. The 15 lbs went right out the window.
I like food. There, I admitted it. I have a friend who literally forgets to eat. She doesn’t much care about it, and it’s for real, she’s not faking. I kinda hate her for being so nonchalant about it!
So I’ve been cutting back on servings, trying to exercise, drinking more water and I think it’s working. Not instant gratification (where’s the magic pill?????) but if I could lose at least 15 lbs by the time pool season is in full swing, I’ll feel decent about myself.
I wish sugar was diet food…
Comment
(y) I can relate. lol!
I wonder if Depp melts in your mouth and not in your hand?
Comment
I was always skinny, until I quit smoking. Then WHAM! Forty pounds. I’ve tried everything and guess nothing is going to work. My husband isn’t bothered by the extra pounds–so guess I can live with .
Comment
Me, me, me! I’m sitting on the couch now with a bag of peanut M&M’s and my laptop and have been known to “plot” my way through an entire package of Nutter Butters. I never had a weight problem until I had kids and, while I’d lose the pregnancy weight, it always had a way of creeping back on. I weigh 30 pounds more than I did when I married my husband–a little stick of a man who has finally THANK GOD begun to gain some weight and, for the first time in the history of our marriage, I weigh LESS than him. :)
Comment
I can totally relate to this. I may not have three groups of clothes, but I certainly have been yo yo dieting since forever! The two diets I did best on was Weight Watchers and the Diet Center diet. Right now I just don’t have the motivation or the time to put any effort into it.
Okay and why is it so much more expensive to diet than to eat JUNK!?!? I mean the cost of eating healthy is insanely more expensive than the cost to eat junk. I swear it is a conspiracy.
Comment
Oh my Melissa–Depp, melt in your mouth not in your hand!! Whew is it hot in here or is it just me!!
I’m very petite, never had a weight problem until my youngest got past the stage where I wasn’t chasing her around all time time!! That was a long time ago!! At the moment I could stand to lose 10 lbs. No big deal you all say–well, when you are a small (or use to be) person like myself 10 lbs. is about the equivelent of 20 on someone else! It is not pretty!! To all you ladies that have husbands that love you slim, heavier or somewhere in between you are blessed, very blessed. As a whole I think we are a nation too hung up on looks, thin & designer anything!!!! It is to superficial. To all the writers you have such talent, looks aren’t everything. Talent is not something all of us are blessed with. Aren’t you glad there are readers?! :) I try to eat healthy but I love chocolate & I love cookies & I love to bake & I love to cook!! Bad combination. I just love good food. Yumm!! :) I think I will go have lunch now.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
Donna M :)
Comment
I am a yo yo er also.
I don’t like it because I swore I wouldn’t have mutli sized clothing but with the pace of life that is the way it is. I just raided the vending machine at work and yes I could have had popcorn but no what do I go for the hershey bar. I mean pop corn hershey bar pop corn hershey bar needless to say it wasn’t a hard decision to make. It is more expensive to eat junk than it is to eat healthy and the junk last longer, I mean it has a longer shelf life.
Comment
I’m Not Alone! yeah!
Here i thought i was the only crazy one who had 3 did sizes of clothes. My biggest problem is the bread. I can’t give up the bread!!!! If i could get rid of the bread i think losing the weight would be so much easier.
well i should probably go back to work…
Trish!!
p.s. Captain Jack can melt in my mouth anytime!
Comment
Oh man, my most unfavorite conversation, weight. I too have closets with varying sizes, and have tried a multiple of diets. But can never seem to stick to anyone for any length of time. I have been holding my own for a while now, but amd like Trish – I have to stay away from the bread, nothing socks on weight faster than bread for me.
Oh and as for M&M peanuts……..I can eat a bag by myself, and it does not matter whether it is the little bag or the big bag…….they are goners around me. My kids used to call me the M&M monster. My son could hide them and I could find them……………….LOL
Comment
It’s definitely spring. LOl I just wrote a poost abotu a week ago about how I was pissed off at myself for being so slack. LOl ALike you, I’ve always been up and down to an extent. Unlike you, I’m not happy about it since I started to write full time. I’ve lost all semblance of control…but I’m going to ge it back.
Comment
Hi again! I just had to come back after seeing Oprah’s show today which was about the way we eat & how unhealthy we are. Even though I knew most of it–what an eye opener. I vow to eat & live a more healthy existance. I’m sorta on the right track some of the time!! Better than all bad all the time. If any one is interested go to Oprah.com & click on to 90-day Live Longer, and Feel Younger. It is really worth reading & the program was worth watching.
Sorry if you all think I’m on my soap box, but thanks for letting me voice my thoughts.
Donna M :)
Comment
Great topic today Leslie. I can also be counted as a member of the YO YO dieting club. I’ve been real careful over the years to try and keep my weight about the same. Like some of the other posters I am considered petite a big ‘ole 5ft 2in. Five extra pounds on me looks like 15 on a tall person. When ever I put on 5 pounds I work to get it off pretty quick.
As for my exercise regime I exercise during commercials. When I’m brushing my teeth stuff like that. I hate to set aside time to exercise. I do walk sometimes with my husband. But we talk while we walk and it doesn’t feel like exercise.
I also found the bags of Jack’s Gems and Pearls M&M’s. I finished the bag of white chocolate and now I’m on to the milk chocolate. Guess I’ll be trying to sneak in the exercise to cancel out the effects of the candy.
Comment
Love my food! It seems if my hands are not busy doing something, they look for food to hold while I quickly manage to make it disappear from view. I love to snack often…quite often. I think that is why clothes come in so many sizes and also why they invented the elastic waistband. I try to walk daily to lose some of the many calories I manage to consume, but doubt if I am winning that battle. While I love my chocolate, this time of year I have all those wonderful flavors of ice cream to enjoy.
Comment
Ate almost the whole bag of M&M’s last night. :d
Still thinking about Depp melting… :p
Comment
Yeah, even my hubby chuckled about that Depp melting thing.
Good one!
Leslie
Comment
(c) goodmorning, OPPS been in computer so long it’s afternoon………OK yea I am a YOYO but I QUIT it just as they say go on go off weigt comes back and brings more with it …………..I’m 59 well almost and 200# biggest ever…………..husband gave up on me 15 years ago…………my life is computer and books LOVE to read …….do you? Think my biggest problem is not being able to exercise I did the Richard Simmons tapes and did great then doc says gotta stop it is tearin up bones and soft tissues due to born with arthritis and now also fibromyalgia………..so no exercise wham 60 pounds found me ;( ……….. (e) HEY but I love me I am good person, just lonely
Comment
I love your blog! It reflects your books in that they are funny and addicting. This was my first visit but of course it will not be my last.