Of friends and monkeys…
Hi and welcome to our jungle!
I can’t believe I got singled out to be the first blogger here on our fun new site. That’s what I get for leaving my house for an hour right in the midst of a Plotmonkeys email frenzy.
Anyway, it seemed appropriate, given how this whole thing came about, for the first conversation to be about friendship. Yeah, yeah, gag me. Who wants to get slammed with a saccharine-sweet ode to playing nicey-nice first thing on a Monday morning?
Well, those of you who know me probably know I’m not very sweet. So I promise, I won’t turn this into a Hallmark commercial and make your teeth hurt. But I do have a few things I think are worth saying.
First, to be clear, I’m not talking about our best friends from 8th grade who can still make us crack up over shared memories, even if we haven’t talked in a year. Or our college roommates, or our siblings (I have 5 and adore them all.) And I definitely am not talking about our spouses. Mine genuinely is my best friend in the world.
I’m talking about writer friends…who are also something more.
Let’s face it, writing is a pretty solitary profession. We work alone, we don’t want distractions. There are days when I don’t even want to have to look at somebody much less have to actually smile at them. “Have a nice day!” says the mailman? Well, bite me, I’m not having a nice day because you rang the doorbell right when I’d finally begun to plot my way out of this quagmire. Grrrrr…
Even when we’re out and about in the world, a lot of times we’re not 100% present because we’re never able to “turn-off” that writer living inside us. We eavesdrop on conversations and spin stories about the people having them. We overanalyze movies and drive our sig others crazy by always predicting the plot twist. We frown at the chatty grocery store clerk because her incessant talking is interfering with the important conversation our characters are having in our heads.
In essence, we exist in the worlds we create every bit as much as we live in the real one.
Few people understand…unless they live the very same madness. So is it any wonder many of us count our most important friendships to be with other writers?
But even among our writer friends, there are different levels of friendship. I bet everyone has a bunch of what I’ll call MySpace friends. You’ve heard of MySpace haven’t you? Teens ask other teens if they can be their “friend” so they can get a sneak peek into a closed profile. And parents just pray the next anonymous “friend” isn’t really a twisted, perverted old man pretending to be a 16 year old boy. (By the way, for the parents who are brave, a good way to keep an eye on your MySpace kid is to create your own profile, make sure your kid knows Big Mama is watching, and then watch!)
Back to the point. MySpace friends…we all have them. They’re the familiar initials or first names next to a post on a message board. The ones who can make us laugh on an open loop or blogsite. The ones we feel we know, even if we’ve never met them in person or heard their voice (and probably never will.) Good for a smile. They’re safe, non-judging. A solid foundation. Not someone you’re going to pour your heart out to and maybe not even someone you email with directly, but someone you feel you might very well like a lot if you didn’t live a thousand miles apart. And if you knew them by some name other than RomRdrinCA.
The friendships stack up from there. There are friends on closed author loops–you know them a little better. With the screen of privacy and loop discretion, the gloves sometimes come off and blunt hilarity can commence. You care about each other, you kvetch and joke and share stupid videos and mourn when someone experiences a loss. You email and ask about each other’s kids and pick up and call once in a while when you sense someone is having a tough time.
Then come the conference friends you do meet face to face once or twice a year. I have quite a few of these (and most of them, like the Temptresses, overlap with my closed loop friends.) They’re people who mean a lot to me even though I don’t see them often. Every time I do, it’s like that friend from high school, we pick right up where we left off the last time.
There are chapter friends you see or talk to every month. Critique group friends you see or talk to every week. Writing partners you see or talk to every day.
And then there are friends like the Plotmonkeys.
You do live a thousand miles apart. You did first only become aware of each other as a name on a message board. You perhaps shared some funny exchanges on a closed loop and then via email. You did only meet in person once a year at a conference.
And yet…something was different.
If you go to the FAQ section of this website, you’ll see how we all met. But those little descriptions don’t really touch on how the four of us just seemed to meld effortlessly together.
We complement each other–balance each other–not just in our writing, but in our lives. We’re an incredibly good karmic “fit.”
One of us is the emotional one–thoughtful, caring, sensitive. Incredibly generous. For someone so talented and so successful, she can be easily hurt and unfortunately she has been targeted in the past because of her success. We rally around her, we encourage her, we support her and, when necessary, we try to protect her from the petty jealousies thrown in her direction. After all, attack one monkey and you’re attacking us all…
Another is the sensible one. Despite being wonderfully creative and imaginative in her writing, she can always cut through the nonsense and get right to the core of an issue, and, usually, come up with a solution. She’s a problem solver. She never gives up. She’s a voice of calm and reason but she never backs down from what she believes is right. I think of her as the mother of the group (even though she’s the youngest…)
Then there’s the fighter. She’s fierce, she’s tough, she can dish it out and she can take it. She’s got opinions–usually very good ones–and she’s not afraid to share them. But really, we’ve come to understand, she’s a roasted marshmallow. Hard and crusty on the outside–when necessary–but so soft and sweet in the middle. You’ll never have a more loyal friend. If I ever fly into battle, she’s my wingman and I’m hers.
And there’s the wise-ass. Umm…that’d be me. Smart comments and raunchy jokes come flying out of my mouth at the speed of light but my monkey pals can always see through them and know when I’m trying to cover up my own insecurities or make light of something that truly hurt me. And they feel free to tell me to shut up and get serious if the situation demands it.
See what I mean? We just…fit.
So here’s to the MySpace friends and the loopy ones. To the conference charmers and the chapter buds. To the critiquing saviours and the plotting pals.
And to the monkeys . I hope each of you has a few of them in your life.
Why don’t you pull up a chair and talk about yours…
Leslie Kelly used to say she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up, but then she discovered Nancy Drew books. Being a flashlight-under-the-covers-nose-in-book reader throughout her childhood, she couldn’t think of anything else she’d rather do as an adult than continue to lose herself in fictional stories. Her real life marriage of 20 years to the man of her dreams is a constant reinforcement that happily-ever-afters really can happen…and that they’re worth writing about. Living in Maryland, Leslie spends her non-writing time laughing a lot with the above-mentioned romance hero and their three daughters. Though an author of more than thirty sexy, contemporary comedies, she has recently branched out to write dark romantic suspense under the pseudonym Leslie Parrish.
Destiny
Dirty Little Secrets
Once Upon A Valentine
Through The Night
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Well, Happy Monday. It seems I am the very first to post on this official start.
Good luck to all of you and am very excited to have what seems to be another fun blog site.
Look forward to many happy times reading here.
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Yeah, Pat!
Wanted to add a little something to Leslie’s post…yes, she’s the smart *ss. But her humor is necessary in ways she probably doesn’t realize. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta say what the f*** (if I may quote Tom Cruise as Joel Goodsen in his post-insanity days)…and Leslie is the one who reminds us of that. She’s the fun one! She makes us laugh when we need it…and even when we don’t think we need it.
Ah, the love fest in the jungle today!
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Morning everyone!!!
I am a smart aleck too, I think that is why Leslie and I get a long so well. :) :d
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I have to agree with Leslie on the cyber friends. I have some that I have been associated with for more than 3 years (which I met of some small author groups). We have been through births, deaths, sickness job changes and all kinds of thing together. We might be scattered across the country,but if one of us needs a shoulder to cry on we know we can pick up the phone and call each other.
Oh, we also send each other Christmas cards and send surprise gifts (usually books and chocolate) at times over the years. To me my cyber friends are truer friends than the people I see every day.
:)
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Yippee! A new place to haunt first thing in the morning! Blog-surfing+Diet Mt. Dew=Happy Rhonda
Great post, Les, and it couldn’t be more accurate. There are friends and then there are *friends* and my writer friends are honestly the most valuable because they *get* it. (Unlike my poor husband who discovered that I’d posted a picture of Matthew Fox on my own blog, along with the words “quake, quiver, sigh, pant and YUM.” He was not happy.
As for TV, I’m another Lost fanatic. No calls, no questions, I am *not* to be interrupted for any reason during that show. :)
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That is how I feel about my circle of friends also. We have never been accused of being alike, but yet we fit perfectly. I think I am probably a combination of the smart *ss and the sensitive one. The sensitive smart *ss, that’s me lol. For some unknown reason my friends still like me, bless their hearts.
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It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who has made such great friendships on-line, many of whom I’ve met in person. I think the internet really opened me up and let me be honest and forthcoming in a way I’m not always able to be with people I see everyday. And I don’t have too many people in my daily life that enjoy reading romances, so it’s been a wonderful discovery to go on-line and meet those that love it as much as I do.
Here’s to friends, whether on-line or the best bud you grew up with, and here’s to many laughs and good times w/ the plotmonkeys :) (l) (8)
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I love your new site! (y) You are so right Leslie about the friends we make but never meet in person. I’ve been lucky enough to meet several wonderful people through blogs who have become good friends and being homebound as I am I consider myself fortunate to have them in my life now. :)
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Great new website! Leslie, I just did a blog on writer friends a couple of weeks ago. The way you described your friends was perfect. I have my old friends that have been w/ me thro the years, my “mommy” friends who I talk kids w/, couple friends that my hubby & I do stuff w/ (yikes, when we can get away from our kids, which is like never!), and then all my loop, myspace and writer friends. I feel pretty lucky to have such a great support group, esp from my writer friends. Writing is a solitary thing, but w/ such great friends to discuss it w/, it makes it even more fun.
Sorry ~ I rambled. Good luck w/ the new site, ladies!
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Great blog! I, too, have a plot monkey friend. Nina Bangs and I are what I like to call writing soulmates. We plot together, angst together, compare print runs and Ingram #’s and dish about publishers. Husband aside, she’s the first person I call with writing news. My HQ editor is the second. Can editors be monkey friends, too?
Best of luck with the new site and I can’t wait to read more!
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Kim, editors can definitely be monkey friends! It takes a special editor to have that sort of relationship with (as we all know first hand
) but it can happen.
I’m glad you and Nina have that sort of relationship. The longer I’m in this business, the more I know I’d go insane if I didn’t have my monkey friends. Not that there isn’t still a padded room out there somewhere waiting for me…
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Wow, I’m so glad so many of you came by today to read our first official blog. I think Leslie did an outstanding job of describing all the different friendships in our lives. It’s so amazing to me how the internet and email has brought so many people together — from across the country and continents! It’s sooo cool!
Hey, Kim! I’m so happy to see you here! I’d like to hope that all writers have a “writing soulmate”, or two, or three :) Someone they can trust without question. I can’t imagine my life without Carly, Julie, and Leslie in it!
This looks like my rambunctious cat Zoey: (@)
And this one resembles my dog Sandie: (&)
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I feel extremely fortunate to have a large group of author friends. They’ve become my extended family. (@)
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Great Blog!!!
I have been fortunate to “meet” many different authors and fellow readers through the Internet. I may never meet most of them in real life, but it is nice to know there are people out there with similar interests and reading habits!
Good luck with the site…I added it to my favorites section!
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happy monday, i hope all of you had a good easter. i love this site, you are my favorite authors.
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Wow I’m so glad we’re off to a great start! Thanks everyone for the comments. It is pretty amazing how much our lives have changed in just the past 10 years or so since the internet allowed us to make lifelong friends we otherwise might never have met.
Leslie
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Friendship, what a great way to start off the “Plotmonkeys” daily blog. :)
I’m sure I will see some of my online friends here as we tend to read the same books, authors & learn about new ones to try. My list of auto buys continues to grow–good! Some people would not think so, but I love to read!
Thanks each of you “plotmonkeys” for all the enjoyable reads. Please keep up the good work. I look forward to many more enjoyable reads from each of you. (*) Because each of you are stars. :)
Donna M
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Love the blog, the insightful comments and the adorable plot monkeys graphics! I’m heading for a weekend of plotting this Friday. Your blog and post made me even more eager to get the show rolling :)
Great Job On the New Site! (y)
Kelley St. John
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Kelley, you’ll have to check back in and let us know how your plotting group operates! :)
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Love the new Monkey blog ladies! You’ve done an awesome job! (y)
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YAAAAAY! Finally, the Plotmonkeys have their own space! Wooohoo!
Here’s wishing you all the best of blog luck!
Smooches,
Dee
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Hi, all. I just returned from Florida so I’m catching up. I’m SO glad we have people visiting and I hope you’ll all continue to come back. Yes, Les did an awesome job starting us off. Knew she would which is why I didn’t choose Monday!
Hi, Kim. Of course editors can be that kind of friend. I’m so glad you have Nina. Like you, it’s hubby and plotmonkeys who I call, not necessarily in that order but don’t tell him.
If you guys post and think we should know you, use last names or nicknames, OK? I want to know who I’m talking to. Not forcing you to use last names in public, but you know what I mean!
Can’t wait to read Julie’s blog tomorrow … (d)
Of course I just checked tonight’s TV schedule … Prison Break, 24, and Janelle told me to watch that new show … ABC something and Bryan. So that’s my night. Oh and writing. Always writing.
SOOOO happy to have this blog site!
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Hi everyone!
What a great site!
I’m not a writer, but I do soooo love to read. (l)
I’m a big fan of all you ladies and I can’t wait to tell my “reader” friends about this blog!! Thanks!!
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Oh, Carolyn! Please tell ALL your reader friends that we’re waiting for them with a (c) or a (d) –whichever they prefer. Hey, even a (b) . I’ve been known to down my share of Coronas. Or Sam Adams. But only when I’m in Boston–doesn’t taste the same anywhere else, I swear.
I guess I’m on deck for tomorrow…Yikes!
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This is so cool. You all have combined magical writing forces together to become super writers!!!
I can hardly wait to read the books!
:p (y)
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Super writers! Cool! Do we get cool capes and invisible planes? (I always loved Wonder Woman…)
Leslie
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I, too, have monkeys. I just never knew what to call them! I am 1000 miles away from my best girlfriends, but we have group phone calls and email frequently, and when we talk, it’s like we never left off. So, here’s to my monkeys!!
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Kat! Thanks for stopping by…I bet those monkeys are coming in VERY handy right about now. A girl’s friends are essential. Couldn’t live without mine!
It’s so exciting to see everyone stopping by and posting and promising to come back. We’re going to build a great community here…I can feel it.
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Cori!!! Long time no “see!”
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Very cool, ladies, er monkeys!! Such a great concept to have all 4 of you in one place!
Leslie, great job! (y) Looking forward to tomorrow, Julie!
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What a great site! Carolyn A. (who already posted!) alerted me to this great new site I just had to visit. While I am not a writer – at all – (I am great at signing my name to a great Hallmark card!!) I can’t claim to have monkeys to plot with though I do have a quilters group. And I do derive great satisfaction from a completed project. And isn’t it great to dance? – even is no one is watching….
Leslie, I love your description of each of your friends. Thumbs up to the 4 of you. Best of luck on your latest venture. (y)